hi im gonna rant cause im completely burnt out and can't do this anymore! 😄👍🏼 feel free to read or ignore :)
i started writing here on february (aka over three months ago) because i love the environment there is between writers and i genuinely had hundreds of ideas for fics i hand't seen yet/i wanted to write my way.
i now realise that it takes an incredible amount of time and work to write as beautifully as these writers do. i'm not even close to them, and i would spend almost entire days working on my WIPs (granted, english is not my native language so it takes me longer but u get what i mean).
i've already lost my motivation.
its been three months of me channelling my dream, which is being a writer (more specifically scripts and short stories) into this blog. i've worked tirelessly on the fics that i knew i wanted to write, the fics i knew i, as a reader, would appreciate, and have gotten under 10 notes.
let me clarify something: this is my dream. it still is, despite the minimal recognition that i get, and i still work on it outside of tumblr because i believe its my purpose in life: to write stories that will resonate with people. i love writing, no matter if anybody sees it or not.
but i now find myself basing my skills and self worth as a writer depending on whether i get notes or not. i've started criticising every single idea that i have out of fear of it not resonating with my followers.
i don't even know what my point is. i think its somewhere along the lines of "i'm dramatic and crave validation. also, this sucks". cause it does suck.
i love writing. i write for free, and its my part-time job. but it sucks to work so hard only to have tons of likes and two reblogs.
