#meph rambles

Like I knew the vibes of shit. I could figure things out and basically do a decent job based on vibes alone. But that does not mean that I know what I'm doing. Or that I can repeat this effort and get the same result.

I've been medicated for a couple of years and I don't know if it's working and I'm just stupid because my brain is no longer overclocking to compensate. Or if I'm just fucking lazy.

I want to quilt, well I got started, but in order to go further I need to put the xmas decorations away, but I need tape for the tree box so that can stand upright, and I need another rubbermaid bin to house the other decorations. I need to put the xmas village away, but I also need to put my laundry away because the laundry basket is sitting on the bin for the village.

I want to play sims 4 and create my own save file, but every single time I start building a house it's like I've forgotten how to build them. Also do I build the houses first or do I create the people first?

I want to bake, but that means I have to hit my kitchen and clean but i need to find places for things and I'm not sure where they should go. And if I do bake I'm going to end up with a bunch of stuff and no one to share them with because I haven't seen folks in a while.

I am not even low key stressed, I am a bundle of nerves and edginess because I cannot find a way to relax and I've got 4 or 5 things I need to take care of, the world is speed running fascism, my grandmother is in the hospital with a broken heel, and I haven't played dnd in like 4 months, but the idea of reaching out to play and then committing to 5 hour sessions every Sunday makes my skin crawl.

(i should be focusing on graduation)