I haven't called you Bambi in ages, M. I'm not just worried about you, you're my friend and you just disappeared from our room. But, fine, I'll be alone. Whatever.

There's nothing going on, she just attacked me and said she was your owner and I asked her where you were and she said it was none of my business. She's insane.

Yes, she did. Nice new friend you have there.

Oh, I bet she's a much better roommate than I am. Even though I don't go around insulting people or threatening to kill them in their sleep.

M, thank God, some crazy bitch is claiming to be your owner and wouldn't tell me where you were!