It's probably semi-known at this point that despite all my debauchery and silliness and general anarchy on this blog, I originally started it when I was 15 years old for an English project in high school. The project was basically about evaluating what types of messages are spread through social media, how it is curated, how it influences and shapes how you live and think, etc. I'll probably make a sillier post about that, because it's kind of funny despite the fact that it was part of a dark time in my life. But I'm not posting about that today. I realize that it was a very interesting year. I learned a lot from that English class, even if I was in a terrible mental space and struggling from self-harm and an undiagnosed eating disorder at the time. It really challenged how I thought about the world.
Unfortunately, there was a girl who died that very same year. She died from an allergic reaction, I believe, although the details are fuzzy (I believe that they couldn't find an epipen in time, but who knows, I could be wrong about all of this).
In life, she was relatively shy and quiet, in my opinion. At the very least, I knew people who were much more outspoken and rude than she was.
I didn't know her personally, but I had friends who were friends with her. Many people came to her funeral, including myself. There was a picture of her in the hallway, with candles around it. So many people wrote notes to her, saying that they missed her. And through that, I got to really know all about this girl, and I wished I could have known her better. She was beloved by everyone, and she was beautiful and talented. She was hardworking, kind and spirited, with a beautiful smile. She wrote band versions of the songs that she adored, which we performed after her death in dedication to her. The principal kept a photo of her on his desk. I even wrote a poem about her two years later as part of a final English project.
She would have been 22 years old today.
I often wondered about her, long after her death. I used to envy her, for not having to live through the pandemic, which completely destroyed all of our lives and livelihoods and left us with an uncertain future. I wondered if she was "free". I wondered where she went after death, if she went anywhere at all. I wondered how her loss had impacted her family. I wondered what they did afterwards, how they could move forward, IF they could. Things like this stick with you for a really long time. Don't ever think that there's no one who will miss you. Death can happen to us at any moment, for any reason, and when you die, there will be many, MANY people who will miss you for the rest of their lives. Seven years after her death, I still wonder about her. I wonder how well they took care of her grave. I wonder how the strawberry plants that they planted near her are doing.
But I know that she fit a lot of living into her life, even if I never knew about it until after she was gone.
Rest well, Mia. I'll never forget you.
