#meme request.

i mentioned these in the tags of a post and sb saw it and asked for the list!! which was so abundantly lovely of them tbh bc like. i was gonna let these go. so thank you to the sweetheart of an angel who encouraged me to finish the list and post them!! these prompts are dialogue based and inspired by the humble yet endearingly cozy qualities of the blanket fort! i hope y'all enjoy them! and i hope everyone's staying hydrated and not clenching their jaws on this lovely day, too!

" what do you mean, you've never built a blanket fort before?! "

" sorry, you can't get in here without the right password. "

" where are all my blankets and pillows? "

" yeah, you can't wear that in this fort. no suits, jeans or shoes. only soft fluffy socks and pajamas. "

" wanna built a blanket fort with me? "

" if we got the fluffy bath towels out, we could probably expand the fort towards the bathroom. "

" if you collapse this blanket fort, i cannot legally be held responsible for my actions. "

" bring over those fairy lights, we can hang them on the inside of the blankets and make it way cozier! "

" i just think the world would be an infinitely happier, better place if we all lived in a blanket fort. "

" it's not every day you get to sleep in a house made of blankets, pillows and cushions, right? "

" hey, let's hook the blanket across the TV, that way we can have a movie marathon without leaving the fort! "

" see? it's a blanket fort fit for royalty! hence my pillow throne. bow down before me, peasant! "

" fine! you can come over; but bring every blanket, pillow and fluffy item you own. "

" oh my god, i used to make blanket forts ALL the time when i was a little kid! "

" i brought some snacks. figured it'd be a pretty sucky blanket fort without any! "

" i wonder how much you'd get if you rented out a blanket fort like this one? "

" wow... this must be exactly how michelangelo felt when he built his first blanket fort, too! "

" ingenious use of the sleeping bag, by the way! every good blanket fort needs a rug! "

" i'm having the week from hell. could we just crawl into the blanket fort for the night? "

" it's too stormy to do anything else today. i propose a movie marathon in our pajamas in the blanket fort! "

" i'm gonna go out and ask our neighbours if they have any spare blankets we could use. this blanket fort demands an extension! "

" if we insured this blanket fort, we could make a TON of cash the next time it collapses! "

" no, listen, if people can go live in vans and school buses, i can damn sure live the rest of my life in a blanket fort! "

" i made some hot cocoa. felt like a suitably fort friendly drink! "

" technically, demolishing the fort should be done via pillow fight. right? "

" aren't we a little old to be making blanket forts? "

" actually, much like lego, i think you'll find that blanket forts are ageless! "

" i thought i might find you in here. room for one more? "

" tragically, you never built a blanket kitchen. so i guess we're just gonna have to order in some take-out, right? "

" i'm not an unreasonable blanket fort mayor. i am not above bribery. entrance fee can be one kiss. "

" excuse you, we have a dress code. pajamas are in my closet, bottom drawer; fluffy socks are in the second one from the top. "

i got a request and i listened to an alarming number of "royalcore" playlists on spot.ify and i tried researching knights and royalty and it just got me confused and stressed out, so historians, pls look away, i'm here for the protective and occasionally pining vibes of "the monarch and their knight" vibes!! DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST!! i have two more royally vibing lists in the works!! and i may edit this list to add more in the future, as i have already done with other meme lists!

FROM THE KNIGHT.

" i was not asked nor ordered to take up this post, my king/queen/liege. i volunteered for the job. "

" i swore an oath to protect your life before any other, including my own, your majesty. it is an oath i am honoured to keep. "

" don't be alarmed, your majesty. i oversaw the preparation of your meal myself, and tasted the wine from a separate glass. it is both safe and delicious. "

" stay in the carriage, sire/ma'am/my liege. a fallen tree blocks our path, and i wish to secure the perimeter before we disembark to remove it. "

" sleep well, your majesty. i shall keep watch outside your chamber door tonight. you will be quite safe, i assure you. "

" your majesty! my apologies... you startled me. i did not expect you to be awake so late. is something wrong? "

" perhaps... perhaps it might be wise for me to teach you the correct ways of using a sword, your majesty? "

" i am marked down for the final jousting tournaments tomorrow. if anything happens, rest assured; i have chosen a most worthy candidate to replace me in my role in the event of my demise. "

" do not fear, my king/queen/liege. i will die before i allow any harm to befall you. and i do not intend to die tonight. "

" please, my liege. take my armour; let me strap you in. now. you must not, under any circumstances, remove this armour until you are safely within the castle walls. stay close. and pull the visor of the helmet down... good. everything will be well. i promise. "

" your majesty, i have come bearing news. i have decided to resign from my post as knight. i will remain until a satisfactorily excellent replacement has been chosen, and then i shall be leaving. "

" you seem unaware of your importance, my liege. your value far exceeds my own. "

" it is a mere scratch, your majesty. a reminder of my inexcusable failure, and the closeness to which this kingdom came to losing you. "

" you may be the first monarch i ever felt proud to protect. "

" your majesty. your majesty, wake up! we must leave, and fast. where is your cloak? the carriage is waiting, we must hurry... "

" make haste! the enemy has breached the gate; and i won't let them harm you, my liege. not while there is air in my lungs. "

" do not fear, your majesty. this is the fastest horse in the stables. you must head for the forest; i'll fend the enemies off until i know you're safely away. "

" your majesty? were you worried for me? "

" i must warn you, my king/queen/liege, these parts are not safe for anyone, let alone a member of royalty. "

" my king/queen/liege, permission to speak freely? "

" trust and ease are things i sacrifice gladly to guard your life well, your majesty. "

" with the greatest respect, you should not go alone. i can accompany you. i assure you, you won't even know that i'm there. "

" knights have a code, your majesty. and to feel the way that i feel for you... it goes against that code. against everything we stand for. in all ways. "

" should this be the last time we meet, my king/queen/liege, please know... you must know, it was my greatest pride and privilege to be your knight. "

" if i may be so bold... i do not think i would much enjoy a royal life. the weight of the crown seems too great a burden. "

" be calm, my king/queen/liege. my finest armor is polished and ready for tonight's festivities. i shall be by your side all night. "

" my king/queen/liege, you look uneasy... has something happened? are you unwell? where is your luncheon? i'll send for the doctor right away... "

FROM THE ROYALS.

" ah! you must be the new knight! do tell, what is your name? "

" i trust your word above all else. you may always offer your consult on these matters. so, please. what is on your mind? "

" i am with you far more than i am with my own betrothed, of late! people shall talk... "

" due to recent tensions between other kingdoms and our own, it has been decided that i will be requiring a personal guard. and i have chosen you. "

" what made you decided to become a knight? "

" i do not need a nanny! least of all when i am merely going to my own chambers! "

" perhaps you could teach me how to wield a sword? one must be able to defend one's self, after all. "

" be easy, brave knight... you took many injuries to protect me last night. i insisted the royal doctor tend to you, rather than your fellow knights. you are quite safe; you're in my personal chambers. "

" i very much envy your freedom as a knight. i imagine you must take it for granted. "

" don't go! you just said it wasn't safe out there! as you are responsible for my personal safety, surely you should stay with me? "

" do not let the fine food and beautiful clothing fool you, knight. a golden cage is still a cage, even with a crown atop it. "

" it is alright. i am merely ill, my knight; there was no poison. "

" i know you better than i know the crowned stranger who decided i was to marry them. how sad is that? "

" i wish to travel to the neighbouring kingdoms. you shall join me, good knight. "

" please, kind knight... do not let me eat alone. my betrothed does that to me already. i do crave some company... "

" my knight... i fear that i have made my most gravest mistake. i have fallen into a trap of my own creation. i have fallen in love with you. "

" you are wounded! sit. sit! as your king/queen/monarch, i command you, sit and let me tend to your wounds! "

" good knight, i do not believe i have ever had the pleasure of seeing you without your armour on... it is a most welcome change. "

" my marriage, it... it is a lie, it is little more than business. i feel nothing for them, my knight, not like what i feel for you! "

" this castle is suffocating... please, may i... may we go to your favorite place? a place you might go to be alone? "

" so many despise the crown. yourself included, i expect. i certainly understand; i feel the same way. so why become a knight who is sworn to defend and protect it? "

" could we just be ordinary townspeople for a day? "

" you presume too much, knight! just because my struggles are not the same as yours, does not render them non-existent! "

" my life is no more important than yours, nor anyone else's. do not think otherwise. "

" you think i would not give my life for you just as easily as you would give yours for mine? "

" it kills me, that as king/queen/monarch, i cannot choose to wed my true love. i cannot choose my knight. i cannot choose you. "

" no! i will not abandon you, my knight, so do not ask it of me again! "

as requested by a powerfully patient and endlessly lovely nonnie!! there will be more lists like this, because frankly, parenthood is a whole theme park of roller coasters with unique challenges and milestones in each of them! but these are for parents who have recently become parents to a newborn! i also have requests for prompts based on foster families and adopted children, but i'd like to do my own research before i dive too deeply into those, because obviously the rules vary from country to country, but i digress! i sincerely hope you all enjoy these! unclench your jaw, drink some water, roll back your shoulders! DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST PLEASE!!

" if you waken that baby, so help me god, there won't be a corner of the universe that will protect you from my wrath. "

" do you wanna hold him/her/them? here, it's okay! just support the neck like... yeah, there you go! you got it! "

" no, no, it's okay, i'm not going anywhere. the baby spit up on everything i own except this sparkly little number, so i'm waiting for the washing cycle to end until i can change out of this! come on in. "

" i don't think i've had a full night's sleep since the baby came along. "

" i'm gonna train this kid, night and day, until they say my name before yours. that's my goal. my name is gonna be their first word. "

" i love my baby. more than i ever dreamed possible! but they've kept me awake since the second they were born! i seriously need a nap... could you keep an eye on them until i wake up? just twenty minutes, i promise you! "

" it kinda feels like every single person in the world suddenly has a PhD in parenting to make me feel incompetent with. "

" i think our sweet angel's gonna be a rock star with that set of lungs! "

" we need a new babysitter. preferably one who won't read rosemary's baby to our newborn. "

" god, they're so precious when they're asleep... can you believe we're that kid's parents?! "

" how can something so tiny go through a billion diapers every single day?! "

" they smiled at me today! actually smiled, i swear! that baby is a genius! and no, it wasn't trapped gas, before you say it. "

" that darling child ripped a fistful of my hair out today, so if you see a bald spot, now you know why it's there. "

" shh... shh, honey, it's okay. the baby woke up, but i'm handling it. you just go back to sleep now, okay? "

" i was thinking... if, for whatever reason, i'm not able to take care of the baby, i was wondering if you might be okay with being their legal guardian? "

" so pre-schools aren't only super competitive, they've also got some insanely high standards now, too! one of them won't even let me bring my car in unless it's completely emission-free! "

" the baby has a remarkably dark sense of humour. they only seem to laugh when i stub my damn toe on the crib at 4 in the morning. "

" we had a somewhat violent reaction at the diaper station this morning. so that meant i had to bathe and change the little cherub twice in ten minutes, and then go take another shower and find new clothes unscathed by infant vandals again. "

" he/she/they have your eyes. and your batshit insane sleep schedule. "

" you know what really pisses me off? when people act as though new parents have it easy. like a newborn is the easiest thing in the world to handle. i'd like to see them make coffee, change a diaper and fold a onesie one-handed! "

" isn't it so crazy that this tiny little human, who can't even hold their own head up yet, might be like, a president or something one day? "

" i'm really sorry, i know we had plans tonight, but i literally just got the baby to sleep and all i wanna do is lie down and eat the leftovers of a bag of potato chips until i fall asleep. i haven't showered all week, i can't remember the last time i wore clean clothes, and... it's just not gonna work out tonight. "

" i figured you wouldn't have much time to cook, what with the baby and all. so i decided i'd bring a lasagna and some groceries over to you, and i can keep an eye on the little one while you take a nice hot shower and eat your dinner in peace! "

" hey... relax. i promise you, the babysitter can handle it for a few hours! and if they need you, they've got your phone number, right? so just... take a night off. sit back. enjoy yourself. the baby is fine, i promise you! "

" you know, if you guys wanted a date night, i could mind the baby for you? "

" i swear, this baby is the freaking jackpot of excuses to not attend all those events! all the times i wanted to throw sharon's awful hummus at her face during those dinner parties, and now i don't even have to go anymore, all because of this beautiful, wonderful little baby! "

" i mean, sure, sometimes i'm crying 24/7 and i don't know what the hell i'm doing! but then i'll tickle the baby's little foot and they'll laugh for thirty minutes, and it just makes me so insanely, immeasurably happy! "

" what do you think? will we try for baby number two? make this little angel a big brother/sister/sibling? "

" i need a night out. please. i'm begging you. i cannot sing another single note of baby shark! please, even a trip to the grocery store would do! "

" god, couldn't you just sit and watch them sleep forever? "

" oh god, he/she/they're crying! the baby's crying! oh man, is that a hungry cry or a diaper cry?! talk to me, little baby! "

" i cannot believe we just paid four figures for a cradle when the baby won't even sleep unless they're in our arms... "

" you know, that little baby is so freaking lucky to have you as their mom/dad/parent. "

" a-actually, maybe you better keep holding them. i mean, what if i hurt them by accident? or what if i scare them? babies don't like me, they never have! "

" you know, i always thought newborn babies looked like potatoes. but this kid is pretty darn cute! "

" i believe congratulations are in order. where's the new addition? "

" i never realized how expensive diapers were until now... "

" mm... honey, the baby... the baby's crying. wake up, baby, go help the baby... "

" nice try, but i got the baby the last time. it's your turn now. probably a diaper change, too, by the sound of it. "

" how can someone so tiny drink so much freaking milk?! "

" i wish people would quit acting like parenting experts every single time they see me. believe it or not, i do know what i'm doing! "

" some stranger on the bus decided to let me know i was a terrible mother/father/parent for not choosing to raise the baby on a vegan diet. "

" did you think of any baby names yet? or is this sweet little angel still anonymous? "

" i'm thinking we should decorate the nursery while the baby's still napping. i got the paint in my car; what do you think? "

" this baby is officially more extroverted than me! every single person we met in the park, this socializing star was waving and smiling at them like crazy! "

" oh my god, remember that little blanket you gave us when the baby was born? yeah! they refuse to go to sleep without it now, it's the cutest thing ever! "

" oh, i took the most adorable photo of the baby yesterday while they were sleeping! wanna see? "

" i don't think you need to worry about your parenting skills. 'cause that little baby in there is the happiest, luckiest kid in the whole world just by having you in their life. they might not know it yet. but they are. "

" well, according to the principal at the last pre-school, we should have been booking placements before the baby was even conceived. "

" i wonder what kind of life this baby will grow up to live? "

" you're such a natural with the baby! he/she/they love you so much already; look how they're gazing up at you! "

" i'm so sorry, but we're gonna have to leave early; the bottle leaked all over my bag, and it's feeding time now, so it's either leave early or unleash a screaming infant on you! "

" would you mind holding the baby for a minute while i go grab my stuff? "

" don't judge, but we were out of clean onesies, so i dressed the baby in that huge old t-shirt you got at that concert five years ago. if i'm being honest, it suits them! "

okay so, this amazing anonymous request came in for prompts in which the sender is defending the receiver from a third party, who is being unnecessarily aggressive towards them! and me being me, i decided it was best to not only make a number of lists for this precise vibe, but ALSO to clarify in the list that these prompts are not directed towards the receiver of the meme, but rather to an NPC third party! unless the sender specifies otherwise. in which case, go wild! be sure to copy and paste the prefix (in this case: TO THE AGGRESSOR: ) to clarify with the receiver! i hope you guys enjoy using these as much as i enjoyed writing them!! and as always, DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST!!! i am making MORE lists based on this request!

DIALOGUE PROMPTS:

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " that's enough. "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " back off, already! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " you need to think very carefully about the next words that leave your mouth. "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " watch your mouth, dickhead! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " how the hell is your response even CLOSE to being proportionate to what they did?! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " come on, man, they made a mistake. that's all. "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " hey, hey, hey! it was just a stupid accident, right? that's all. no need to be a dick about it! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " hey, would you relax already?! they didn't mean to! they meant nothing by it! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " talk to them like that one more time, and i swear to you, you'll never talk again. "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " if anyone else has something they'd like to say to [RECEIVER], they can direct it to me. got that? "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " alright, they get it! you made your point! now shut the hell up! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " how much more sanctimonious bullshit do you intend on heaving on them?! shut up already! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " are you done? "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " leave them alone! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " don't make me repeat myself, man. back off. "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " pick on someone your own size, asshole! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " do you always have to be such a dick? "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " don't go anywhere near them ever again, do you hear me?! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " go take a walk and come back when you're ready to be reasonable. "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " i dare you to say another word to them. go on. i DARE you. "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " keep going. go on. keep on terrorizing them. just remember, though: actions have consequences. "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " how dare you speak to them like that?! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " god, you really do love the sound of your own voice, don't you? it's a shame that the rest of us don't. "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " you must feel like a real badass right about now, yeah? yelling and frightening and humiliating someone with more decency and respect than you. except you're not a badass, you know. you're just a coward. "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " okay, they get it! message received, asshole; now relax! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " oh, you're a special kind of asshole, huh? yelling at people you deem weaker than yourself for no good reason. how pathetic do you have to be? "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " well, if you're done being a whinging cry-baby, [RECEIVER] and i have actual important shit to get on with, so... you better scuttle away, yeah? "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " what the hell is your problem?! you don't get to just treat people like that, jackass! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " if making people cry is the only thing that gives your life meaning, you need serious help. now get away from them. "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " i will not repeat myself. get. the hell. away from them. NOW. "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " is there a problem here? "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " you're teaching them a lesson, is that it?! you like lessons, dumbass? here's one for you; talk shit, get hit! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " you better shut your mouth before i shut it for you! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " i think they get the message, dickhead, okay? loud and clear. now back off!

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " tell me, is it a challenge to be such a relentless asshole, or does it just come naturally to you? "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " quit acting like you've never messed up before, jackass, and leave them be! "

TO THE AGGRESSOR: " this was all just some big misunderstanding, right? why don't you go cool off? take a walk, grab some water, move on. sound good? "

ACTION PROMPTS:

[ PUNCH ]: sender intervenes in a conflict between the receiver and a third party by punching the aggressor solidly in the face.

[ BLOCK ]: when the aggressor begins to invade the receiver's body space, sender pushes between them and shoves the aggressor back, serving as a human shield to the receiver.

[ EVICT ]: after intervening on the receiver's behalf, sender firmly and inarguably forces the aggressor to leave the building, never to return to the premises again.

[ GLARE ]: while in full view of the receiver, sender pins a terrifyingly ruthless glare on the aggressor, engaging in a brief stand-off that ends with the aggressor reluctantly leaving.

[ LEAVE ]: having intervened in the conflict on the receiver's behalf, the sender glances back to make sure they're alright, then leaves the room to follow the aggressor and ensure they leave the building.