Shit my friends have said to me, about me, or in my general vicinity, over the past two days...
Suvika: Steph, don't play with a girl's heart. She has one. Play with her boobs -- she has two.
Me: Dude, what even.
Me: Yeah, all the four on Pretty Little Liars are really hot. And Hanna's mom.
Clarissa: What about Alison? She's going to be a main character.
Me: ...no, she has a weird face.
Clarissa: But she has a butt-chin!
Me: God, Clarissa, just because she has a chin-cleft doesn't mean I think she's hot.
Clarissa: Well, it usually does.
Clarissa: We're taking my car, but Steph is getting her iPod cable, since she hates listening to the radio.
Later on...
Clarissa: Oh, yeah, I don't have anywhere to plug that into.
Clarissa, to Melbow, who is half-Thai: Mel... do you want some Thai baht?
Melbow: No. Just, no.
Me: Mel, you could use that as a pickup line. Go to a hot guy and be like, would you like some Thai butt? Promise me you will do this.
Melbow: ...no.
Clarissa: You could marry Ben and be related to Steph.
Suvika: Yeah, he's brown, and I want to marry brown.
Me:Â Mary Brown? Why Mary Brown when you can Burger King?
Melbow: Oh my god.
Clarissa: I hate rocket!
Me: I hate rocket, too! I hate rocket so much!
Clarissa: ...you just hate most vegetables.
Me: I could really do with a cigarette right now.
Clarissa: Suvi, give her the cigarettes. Let her die.
Suvika: Do you want them?
Me: Now? ...not really, you fuckers.