Do you have a psychopath in the family? I do...
Before I begin, please know that I will not mention my mothers name. She will be referred to as Mother or Mom only...
To understand why I say my brother is psychopathic, lets look at 5 key characteristics for those who have Antisocial Personality Disorder, also known as Psychopath or Sociopath.Ā
They are excessively charming
They pray on other peoples emotions
They donāt have a conscience
They have an inflated ego, grandiose sense of self,Ā or superego
His name is Robert Arthur Magoon...
He is my half-brother, same mother, different fathers.
Robert did not grow up in our home. Our mother said that she was young when she had my two brothers. She had Randy 1 month before she turned 18 and Robert was born 11 months later at age 19. She was married to Roberts father for a short time. His name, Michael Arthur Magoon.
Michael was physically, psychologically, and emotionally abusive. Mom eventually fled with the two boys and hid until he tracked her down in a home for battered women. It was there that Michael took a crow bar to her head and abdomen, rupturing her spleen, breaking ribs, and cracking her head open. With both boys in the crib and our mother laying in her own blood, Michael dowsed her with gasoline and lit the room on fire.
How does a man do this with his own child in the room?
After Michael was arrested, Mom divorced him and relocated to another part of California. She explained that Robert was extremely hyper from an early age. He would stand in his crib and bang his head against the wall until he passed out. Being a young mother of two babies and trying to regain some control of her life, she decided she couldnāt cope with a hyperactive child and put Robert into the foster care system.
Unfortunately, Robert remained in the system until adulthood. Looking back, Iām not sure who had the better life, him in the system, or Randy and I being raised by a really really screwed up Mom and no Dad.
I can recall us going to visit Rob a couple of times throughout my childhood. I remember on one visit, I was about 4 years old and I didnāt understand why he was calling my mom, his Mom. I began to cry and asked my mom, āwhy is he calling you Momā? She explained that she was his mom before she was mine.
Randy and Robert are 9 and 8 years older than I am... Randy moved out of our home around the age of 15 to live with a nearby childhood friend. He couldnāt take living at home, so he bailed around the time I was age 6. More about that relationship later.
When I was about 11-12 years old, my Aunt Debbie shared a vhs recording (yes, very old school) she had saved of a local news clip. My Aunt Debbie is one of my momās five sisters and lived in Hayward, California at that time.
The news segment was on a father and son reunion after 19 years of separation! Somehow, the gods reunited Robert and his father in a JAIL of all places... A guard noticed the same last name and put two & two together... This unique story landed them on the local news stations and in the local papers.
Once my mom learned of this, she could or would, no longer have anything to do with Robert. I learned years later that she cut all ties because Michael still had a death wish for her and she could no longer associate with Robert if she wanted to live.
Why would a guy still want to kill someone after nearly 20 years? Wouldnāt they want to move on? Not for Michael... Psychopathy runs in their family.
He continued to make contact with other family members throughout those years of separation. He would make indirect threats, saying things such as how he ālongs for the day when he can place flowers at her graveā. Since it wasnāt a direct threat, there was nothing the police would or could do about it.
Michael even went so far as to have my momās name tattooed on his upper arm after he tried to kill her. Maybe the nut doesnāt fall to far from the psychopathy tree after all...
Fast forward into my young adulthood. It was around the year 2000, Iām in my mid 20ās and married with 3 daughters. We were living in Bothell, Washington and had a cute four-bedroom house on a cul-de-sac with a greenbelt on our left. It was a slice of heaven. At that time, My husband Rick, was a pharmacy technician for Safeway, and I managed a doctorās clinic in downtown Seattle.
Out the blue one day, a letter arrived from Robert. The return address was from a Texas prison. He moved to Texas with his father sometime after their reunification in the California jail. It wasnāt a huge shock that he was yet again incarcerated, but it was a surprise that he was able to locate me since my last name had changed through marriage.
In 1991, Rob (age 21-22) had been sentenced to Huntsville Texas Department of Corrections for Robbery at knife point. He decided to rob an elderly person... From what I understand he was to serve 25 years.
We wrote back and forth a couple of time and I honestly felt happy about a connection with someone in my family. By this time, my father had passed away, my mom and I no longer communicated (another long story), and Randy was off living his own life. Randy felt like a stranger since we didnāt grow up together, along with having a large age gap between us. The thought of having family (outside of Rick and my girls) made me feel not so alone in the world.
My connection with Rob became short lived. He began asking me to send him supplies, such as paper, envelopes, and small things like that. Which I was happy to do for him. Then he began to ask if I would smuggle items in through the mail such as money or drugs. He would ask me to buy a package of 100 envelopes, open it, place individual $20 bills or drugs into various envelopes, reseal the box, and ask the seller to ship them directly from their store to the prison. If the items were shipped from a business, they were less likely to be inspected for contraband.
Robert also insisted that I disclose any information on our motherās whereabouts. This became tiresome and apparent that I was being used. I refused to become a smuggler and wouldnāt help him locate our mom. Sadly, I had to cut our ties.
Itās now January/February 2008, Iām 30 years old, and serving a two-year sentence for embezzlement (another long story for later).
Rick and the girls were in the middle packing up our duplex, for the move over to Spokane, Washington, when a neighbor came over to speak with him. Our neighbor received a strange phone call from a man who was trying to find a Richard and Melanie Granillo and asked if he knew us. The neighbor, not thinking about it, said yes.
Apparently, Robert found a possible address to us but couldnāt verify it online, so he began calling people near that address to see if we lived there. Fortunately, I called home every night to talk to Rick and the girls, so when I called that evening, Rick explained what had happened earlier that day.
My heart sank... I told Rick to take the girls to one of their friends house for the night ASAP! When Rick returned from dropping the girls off, he heard a noise in the back of the uhaul truck. The back opened and it was Robert...
So now Robert is with Rick in Everett and Iām 5 hours away on the other side of the state... Rick does what he feels is best and befriends Robert. Rob joins the family as they move across the state and settle into a small apartment not far from where I am.
My mom, who was 3 states away, heard that Robert was in Washington and called the authorities. She knew that Robert was wanted for skipping town and violating his parole in Texas.
I can only imagine the surprise and fear Rick and the girls experienced when the S.W.A.T. came into their small apartment one evening... We had no idea Robert was wanted and I was beyond livid that he put my family in jeopardy for whatever no good, selfish reason he had conjured up in his head! He risked Ricks freedom by having him harbor a fugitive and risked my kids to becoming trapped in the states CPS system. It was a good thing I was locked up because I was seeing red!!!
Rob was extradited back to Texas for his parole violation and sentenced to a work farm. Instead of just doing his time, he decided to escape and ran from the work farm... how many ways of stupid is there?
Here comes Robert again, back to Washington State... not to make sure my family is okay, or to make sure my kids werenāt traumatized from guys with guns breaking down a door, nor was he there to apologize for the problems he could have caused... He returned to Washington to find out WHO turned him in!!!
Rick told me that Robert was back AGAIN... This time, I knew he was a fugitive and I asked a guard to help call the local police. Yes, I turned my own brother in to the police department! Once again, Robert was arrested and extradited back to Texas.
10 YEARS LATER... 2017...
Robert begins leaving hateful messages on our home machine saying heĀ has been betrayed by us and one day we just might see him again...Ā He knows that Rick has been a licensed pharmacy tech for decades, so top off this situation, Robert began calling local pharmacies to see if Rick works there. How do I know this? Medical Lake, WA is a really small town. It has one gas station, one store, one pharmacy, and everyone knows everyone. The pharmacist told Rick that a guy with a southern accent called and asked if he worked there... Considering Robert has a southern accent and we donāt know anyone else who does, we can only deduce who was making these calls.
Robert must have spent so many hours on the internet searching for us. A few months later, my cell phone rings with an āunknown callerā. I typically donāt answer these because of solicitations but after 5 back to back calls from this unknown caller, my senses told me it was Robert and he wasnāt going to stop calling, so I answered.
I was right, it was him. He wanted to know why I betrayed him (as usual, itās only about him [shaking my head]). I was pissed and I let my mouth fly... I told him āHOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO MY FAMILY!!! HOW DARE YOU PUT MY FAMILY AT RISK FOR YOUR OWN REASONS!ā.
He asked if I knew the meaning of family loyalty? I asked if he did, and he said yes he does, that heād never turn in his own flesh and blood. My blood was boiling hotter... āYOU SELFISH SON OF A BITCH. YOU RISK MY FAMILIES SAFETY AND MY CHILDRENS WELL BEING WITH YOUR UNJUSTIFIABLE AND UNCONSCIONABLE ACTIONS AND YOU WANT TO LECTURE ME ON FAMILY LOYALTY? IāLL SHOW YOU LOYALTY!ā and then I hung up on him.
It amazes me at how much time and energy he has spent holding on to anger for a situation that he himself is at fault for. He could have done so many things with his life (found stable work, gained a home, friends, or perhaps even his own family) ... Instead he chooses to be like his father and obsess onĀ what might be considered as āunfinished businessā.Ā
He didnāt call us again after that last call. Instead, Robert redirected his efforts and tries another tactic.
It is now 2018 and Robert has taken to targeting my middle daughter Kat through Facebook Messenger using ALIAS NAMES...
You will see Roberts true colors in the following messages. In the messages below, he says he wonāt contact her again, but his ego wonāt allow him stop because he hasnāt achieved his goal of getting his way. Sheās not falling for his charm, sheās not responding to him after her initial āLeave me aloneā, and she keeps blocking his messages, which only fuels his anger...
First contact under the nameĀ āRichardā
Second contact under the nameĀ āRamey Lonkertā
A couple of days following the second message:
Third contact underĀ āWilliam Smithersā
He continues to antagonize her in hopes that she will become angry enough to respond. Heās looking for any interaction, an open door of communication... Thankfully, weāve taught our kids to not let anyoneās opinion affect them or their self esteem.
A month after the first message:
Fourth contact using my husbandās nameĀ āRichard Granilloā
He never did message Kat using this last profile and as of today, September 22, 2018, he hasnāt tried reaching her with another fake profile...
We have contacted the local authorities and we were told that we can file a restraining order but we need his address in order to have him served.
We contacted facebook regarding cyberstalking and bullying, this was their response...
We now wait for the next round to begin and will cross that bridge, if and when, that time comes...
Is Robert a psychopath? I believe he fits the criteria for it. His behaviors show a lack of morals, remorse, empathy, exaggerated image of self-importance, his inability to feel love for anyone other than himself, and his uncontrollable anger at my daughter when his charm didnāt work.
It is my hope that my experience can help someone else who may have a similar situation with a friend, family member, or someone else they know. Maybe it can help someone who doesnāt realize what kind of situation they are yet to face.
Robert has the potential to be dangerous. He has no problem breaking laws, no remorse for creating havoc and destroying lives. His only goal is to make sure his wants and needs are met. If anything ever happens to my family or to me, you will know who is responsible.
Not all psychopaths are killers, but most killers are psychopaths.
Rick, Kat, and I had to take out restraining orders in 2019 for Robertās continued harassment after the death of our mother (See Death of a Narcissist in my other blogs). We were granted 1 year of no contact. Thankfully Robert obeyed this order and made no further contact until September 2022ā¦
My mother-in-law passed away the last day of August 2022. We were in California mourning our loss when Robert again starts his calls and harassment. Since we were out of state, I had to obtain a lawyer to gain a new domestic violence protection order against Robert. This time the judge granted us a 10-year No Contact Order!
I also obtained a concealed weapons permit. Whether or not I actually own a gun will be up to him to find out.
Having a Masters Degree in Forensic Psychology, I can say professionally and personally that Robert is a danger to society and a real threat to my family.
If anyone is dealing with someone like this, related or not, seek help from law enforcement and the courts. Make sure your friends and family are aware of whatās happening. Always have a back up plan in the unlikely event something does happen.
