#meganesora

There was a time I was so into you that even when I was mad,

when I opted for separation and no communication at all,

when I refused to include you in my thoughts...

I was still finding you in the most trivial things around,

as if you were just at the back of my mind,

as if I was lingering and longing for an unrealized invisible matter but without direction.

However, when unconsciousness caves in and dreams begin,

I forget about all the angst and hurt,

and just be with you.

Momentary slips...

And just be with you.

Written by:

Your memories were immersed in murky waters

Was not ready to drain and clear the pool, truly cleansing the spilth and sewage

And so, I restored my peace, chose music and started forgetting

Dropped one heavy baggage into the pond's deepest

After calling you names and pushing you away

Replaced everything with a blank slate

I said 'goodbye'

To all those lovelorn remarks

To one naive, starry-eyed girl

Your heartbeat

Your soft breathing

My lullabies

And yet, I don't want to sleep

Your eyelashes

The line of your nose

Even the sweet curves of your lips

Maybe I should trace your profile with my fingertips?

I lingered, imprinting your image

Am I dreaming of you yet again?

More of these recurring dreams, please

Let time continue in hours or days

Being with you is like fireflies and fireworks

Soothing lights and all-consuming flames

Magical, Wonderful even in silence

Exciting, Beautiful all in a boom

Being with you feels natural and fresh

I can be myself even when I'm pretending

I see things differently, better and in extreme

And we're not exactly friends

But we're supposed to be lovers?

I know your family

And you know mine

But do we see each other for who we are?

We don't match at all

Age gap, Social circles, Interests

And I'm feeling kind of lonely

How can we touch each other's lives?

...

Turns out

You know things about me

And I know things about you

Are we getting closer?

You learned more about me

And I learned more about you

Are we getting stronger?

We can make a bridge in between

Childhood stories, friends, music

And I'm feeling kind of giddy

And this is me falling for you

...

But one awful night

We broke up

Everything's off

It isn't just working

Is it all over now?

I can't stop the tears

I can't stop thinking of you

Your dry sense of humor

Your one-sided grin

The way you look at me

Come back to me

...

And on one bended knee

He was cocky and infuriating

Uncharted reactions flaring

We raved and lashed

Everything he did was vexing

Surely I could be insulated from his charms

An antithesis of every woman who fawns over him

I was clueless of the signs

Until he came along

And started the mess

I hadn't known I could be

But he proved me wrong

Oh, how much he had pushed and pulled

Until I pass off holding the reins

Unaware of the breaks and chains I once had

And with a rush of exhilaration

Freedom found me

Pure and simple

No other colors left

When you played the guitar

That summer when I was eight

You made me realize

The passion within me

Things that I could have lost sight

..

The next time we met

It was already five years after

But you still have those dimpled smiles

And yet, you don't seem to remember

...

I knew I was a goner

The moment you saw me

I couldn't help but sing to you

All my pent up feelings

We talked and hit it off

Still, I couldn't stay later than dawn

...

We started pretending

We were even fighting

I couldn't seem to touch you

But inside, I was longing for you

...

All the games, all the breaks

I don't want them no more

I want you back

I want you by my side

That's why I'll sing again

And reach for you