#mega-depression

My aunt and her husband feel “awkward” when my boyfriend is here, which is making him super paranoid and putting a strain on our relationship. I’m feeling kind of angry about that, because we’ve been together longer than most married people and they’d probably respect him being here if we were a married couple. Side-trailing onto thoughts that no one will ever respect my relationship unless I get married, no one will think it’s serious or that it’s normal for me to want to see my partner most days of the week. 

I understand it’s her house and I’m only here out of her generosity, but at the same time, if she said I couldn’t stay with her, that wouldn’t be “not having generosity”, that would just be kind of cruel because I don’t have anywhere else to stay. Trailing back to the thought that nobody actually wanted to help me even though I’ve had severe depression for years, got raped by a coworker, lost my job and my house, got treated poorly by police officers when I tried to report it, can’t afford to finish my degree because of all of this. Nobody actually seems to consider any of that and offer help out of sympathy, just because not offering help would make them feel/look bad. None of my family is especially close to me because they didn’t feel comfortable talking/relating to me when I was growing up because I’ve always had severe depression and anxiety, but they all just thought I was rude, sad, weird, closed-off for “no good reason”.