#meatballers

-in Ominis’ dorm-

Ominis: -angrily crosses arms-

Ominis: Were you a good boy today?

-Meatball refuses to look at him-

Ominis: Answer me. Were you a good boy today?

Meatball: -quietly- no.

-MC enters- Hey, I got your text. What happened?

Ominis: Go ahead, Meatball. Tell her what happened.

Meatball: Meatball don’t wanna.

Ominis: Speak up and tell Melody what you did.

Meatball: Meatball sang song to Phineas.

MC: Ok?? Why is that bad?

Ominis: Because he was singing “my heart will go on” and following the headmaster into the bathroom.

MC: MEATBALL MARINARA GAUNT! You KNOW you’re not supposed to follow him into the bathroom!

Meatball: But Meatball-

MC: No buts! You are GROUNDED mister!

Meatball: What grounded?

MC: It means you don’t get to go see uncle Garreth today.

Meatball: No! Meatball love uncle Garreth!

Ominis: Perhaps that’s a bit harsh.

MC: he needs to learn that there are consequences for his actions!

Ominis: Yes, but this will only make him try to sneak out.

MC: Well then what do you suggest?

Ominis: I don’t know! The parenting book didn’t have suggestions about disciplining your child for stalking and serenading the headmaster while he’s on the toilet!

MC: You read a parenting book?

Ominis: Well, yes. Taking care of Meatball is a lot like caring for a child.

MC: Then what does that make me? His mom? Step mom?

Ominis: You’re sort of a mother figure to him.

Meatball: Mom!

Finally finished little Ominis! (With Meatball of course)

And if you don’t know who Meatball is, dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow..

Reference sheet from 2018: Recent redesign/artwork from 2020:

Meatballers are CURRENTLY a closed species/ there are no MYO’s available

Accurate definition: Meatballer (singular, masculine) Meatballerina (singular, feminine)/ Meatballers (plural) are a sub-species of the LFPs, also created by Eni 4.0

First appearance: Beneath a random child’s bed:

Part 1/3 Part 2/3 Part 3/3

Timeline: The beginning of their existence took place in the middle of the Absurdium Era/ after the R-Eni-Union

Current changes: Since the OG design/ reference sheet is quite old and half as accurate- some changes were made and more info was added:

Their bones do not disappear, they turn very soft and flexible, like rubber

They do hide under beds, but they do not feed themselves off of children’s dreams, only from the kid’s kneecaps

Ominis: We need to have a discussion about your behavior.

Meatball: Why? What Meatball do?

Ominis: You know what you did.

Meatball: Hide in desk drawer and wait for Phineas?

Ominis: Wait, what? No.

Meatball: Eat Prewett’s pet rat?

Ominis: Are you serious?!

Meatball: -innocently- Noooo.

Ominis: I’m referring to what you did to Sebastian.

Meatball: Hide in his backpack and scare him in class?

Ominis: No.

Meatball: Eat phone number girl left for Sebastian?

Ominis: Did you?

Meatball: -silence-

Sharp: -sighs- do you know why I’ve called you here, today?

Ominis: I don’t, sir.

MC: I have a pretty good idea actually.

Sharp: We need to talk about Meatball’s attitude.

Ominis: Believe me sir, I’ve been trying.

MC: Me too. But the opposite of the way Ominis is.

Sharp: Meatball is welcome in my classroom as long as he is quiet and well behaved.

Ominis: I haven’t been bringing him to class, sir!

Sharp: I know, I wasn’t speaking to you. -glares at MC-

Ominis: I thought we agreed that it would be best for him not to attend classes with us.

MC: So what, he’s left alone all day? You know he’ll just get into trouble. And if I take him with me, I know where he’s at.

Ominis: But see, now you’re giving into him. That’s exactly what he wanted.

MC: Oh, so now this is my fault?

Ominis: Yes!

MC: I’m sorry, I just didn’t think our SON should be unattended all day! It’s not good for his development! He needs to socialize with the other kids!

Sharp: I’m sorry, are we still talking about the snake?

Both: Yes.

MC: We have very different parenting styles.

Ominis: Yes, one of us believes in rules and one of us just lets him do whatever he wants!

MC: It’s called peaceful parenting and it is a VALID way to raise a child!

Ominis: He needs structure!

MC: He needs freedom!

Garreth: Hey, can I hang out with Meatball for a bit?

Ominis: That depends. Are you going to use him to participate in your pilfering of Professor Sharp’s potion ingredients?

Garreth: That was some nice alliteration!

Ominis: Answer the question.

Garreth: No, I just want to spend time with him!

Ominis: Fine, but I want him back in one piece in an hour.

-10 minutes later-

Meatball: -slithers into Sharp’s office while humming the mission impossible theme-

Sharp: No, Meatball.

Meatball: No Meatball here!

Sharp: You’re humming and you spoke to me. I wasn’t aware snakes can hum. What are you after?

Meatball: Fwooper feather. Please? Meatball ask nicely! Meatball wanna do a good job. *puppy dog eyes*

Sharp: Fine. But no more!

-Sharp gives him the feather, Meatball slithers away-

Garreth: You got it! Great job, buddy!

-Meatball slithers up to Ominis’ neck while he’s asleep-

Ominis: -wakes up screaming-

Meatball: It me! It Meatball!

Sebastian: -jumps out of bed with his wand- WHAT’S GOING ON?

Ominis: Meatball?!

Meatball: Meatball wanted to snuggle! Meatball didn’t mean to scare you!

Ominis: You wrapped yourself around my neck while I was sleeping and squeezed!

Meatball: Meatball hug! Meatball don’t have arms.

Sebastian: This is why you’re supposed to lock his enclosure!

Meatball: Then Meatball trapped!

Sebastian: Good!

Meatball: Mad!

Ominis: Meatball, you can sleep beside me, just don’t choke me.

Meatball: Ok! -curls up beside him-

Sebastian: Thanks for the bloody heart attack.

Ominis: I’m sorry, I was alarmed because someone was choking me in my sleep!