Obviously we can all agree Jack noir is the best homestuck villain, right? Of the original comic. Like obviously you can dissect caliborn, lord English, the condesce, for days, but the long and short of it is that Jack actually DOES SHIT. He is actually on screen killing people. He is an actual immediate threat for a majority of his screen time. Lord English is obviously more of a threat, and the condescension could be argued to have done more bad stuff, but as an effective villain, we see jack noir actively do more fucked up shit to people we love than anyone else. The only person who comes close is, like, Gamzee? Maybe? Aranea? Vriska? Idk.
Anyway what this post is actually about. What are beyond canon's villains like, and how could they learn from homestuck proper?
By my estimates, beyond canon (and the post canon stuff in general) has two villains; candy!Jane and ult!Dirk. Henceforth referred to as Jane and Dirk, as while there are other versions of them, they aren't"t relevant (yet, in the case meat!Jane).
If I had to choose their closest analogs to the original comic, I'd say that Jane's is (fittingly) Betty Crocker herself, and Dirk's is lord English. Oh no, you may exclaim, Randy, those are the two not good™️ villains! First of all, rude, you shall refer to me as professor inferiors, second, Nuh uh they're still good villains I swear, and third, I'm about to explain why I think they do a better job than said analogs!
First of all, even though I say they're analogs, they are different villains. The condescension is a lot more sinister than Jane. English is way more long-gamey than Dirk. But ☝️we see more of Jane and Dirk be villains. And that makes them more interesting and fun to WATCH.
Anyway Jane time Jane time. My favourite severed head since... Well, since Dirk I guess. Once you get past the very real hurt and disappointment of "oh... That's my comfort character written as a fascist dictator......", there's a really interesting and deliciously entertaining to watch villain here. The moment she got shot by Jake, and then she SPAT. OUT. THE. FUCKING. BULLET. I knew I loved her as a villain. She's so cool. Anyway. Why do I think she's a GREAT villain? Well, because I believe she has actual stakes. It's not a far off plan like Dirk or lord English. Or even the condesce, to the extent that we don't actually see much of her, but rather her underlings/drones. Even though, yes, lots of Jane's machinations are through politics, changes to society, and underlings, similar to the condesce, Jane, being a politician, has her face plastered EVERYWHERE. And being a main character, we see her in the decision room as these machinations are put into play. Watching Jane is like a political thriller. And because of her steady decline into fascism, you get to watch in real time turn from a former hero into a current villain. It's gripping. You also get reminded of how frighteningly powerful she is, like with the aforementioned spitting out the bullet, or her insane life powers in 8r8k, or even the fact that she STILL LIVES AS A SEVERED HEAD???? HELLO??????? Anyway. Y'know exclusion zone? Obviously it's about ult!rose, but I consider it also to be about Jane. She's a monster. Both in terms of her political interests, and how fucking scary powerful she is. Seriously have you seen the bullet scene it's fucked up can we talk about the bullet scene I've been dying to talk about the bullet scene she SPITS OUT THE BULL-
Anyway, now onto who made that monster. Who left that monster in his wake simply because the universe she inhabited was deemed pointless to him. The one everyone is rushing to kill, even though they don't realise historically the best person to kill him is himself. The prince of heart, first known ultimate being, and canonical brony, Dirk fucking Strider. This guy fucks. Not literally, in fact he might even be a virgin, but as a villain, he's so so so good. Why? Once again, we see him do shit. And everyone else makes sure to remind you that he is a PROBLEM. In the original, Lord English was bad, but we can choose to meet him at any time, and in fact we only need one main character to fend him off. Obviously it takes an innumerable amount of background characters, but that isn't important, because the background characters aren't immediately important. In beyond canon, every character is either working with, for, or because of Dirk, or is actively working to stop him. The entire story revolves around him being a villain. Homestuck didn't even allude to lord English till act 4, beyond canon STARTS with Dirk. And we see him develop and execute his master plan. Even though by all accounts he's probably done the least of any villain in the series, he's such an interesting villain that it's hardly noticeable. And, like, we're actually seeing the fruits of his labour now. Everything so far in act 2 is the direct result of his machinations, and we weren't just told, we were actively shown. How fucking cool is that. And for all you fans of actually doing things, he's obviously had some already heinous shit. In the epilogues we saw him manipulating Rose and Kanaya to get what he wants. Like I said earlier, him just not giving a shit about Candy and just offing himself was what caused all the fucked up shit Jane did in that timeline. Also he did a transphobia. So yeah. Really cool villain. Big fan. Can't wait to see what other fucked up shit he does!
Overall, OH MY GOD BEYOND CANON IS SO GOOD I NEED MORE I NEED MORE AAAAAAA
