#mdemn

​i never considered the parallels of henry’s father & all his sons & all their sacrifices for an approval they were never going to get & how henry would (and did) die for a pride tied to a man who sent him to the slaughter disguised as safety with abraham & all his sons & all their sacrifices, all their doing everything just right & their sending their brother to his slaughter disguised as his safety. only now this is all i will ever think about so thank you for that emotional damage

you're welcome for being emotionally damaged <3

no, because you're so right. i think they were all vying for his attention, his approval. seven sons, and when you're all so bunched together, how do you make yourself stand out? how do you make your father notice you above the white noise he's come to call his family?

silvio sending henry to america, the only one, not even the rest of them, and henry desperate to prove to his father, long after he's settled in a foreign country. i'm sure he never wrote to silvio, maybe an odd letter to his mother, never the words 'give father my love', always thought, but never written.

henry, receiving the news that silvio died in prison. henry, still, now, trying to win the affections and approval of a dead man. (henry, maybe, seeing his father's features in his own face. he can't run from what he's made from. he can't run from his own ghosts.)

henry leaving for the job and coming back to an empty apartment. only an ironed shirt and their wedding picture on the table with nothing more than a “i loved you, i did.” written on the back of it. henry exhausts every connection he has to find her, but it’s as though she never existed. and maybe it’s easier to pretend she didn’t anyway. and the next time he ever hears anyone else say her name is to tell him that she’s dead, and he’s not allowed to know which plot.