#mcthrill

Spoiler alerts for The Last Jedi, I guess.

Noted craftswoman Delilah “Pickles” McGurkin claims to have no memory of constructing the Thrice-Upright Bas - she simply woke up in the middle of a cemetery as she hammered the last nail in place on the backing. Horrified at the site of an instrument clearly not mean to be played by human hands, she stashed it in a nearby empty tomb - a long-unused building with only the words “Guys Mulvaney” carved above the entryway.

Carved from the wood of the Tumtum tree, The jabberwocky’s Fiddle is difficult to play as it has a tendency to gyre and gimble in the wabe, The Vorpal Bow, strung with hair from the tail of the frumious Bandersnatch, is the only bow uffish and manxome enough to subdue the brillig and slithy fiddle. No one has seen the Vorpal Bow in almost seven years, coinciding rather frabjously with the start of a certain washboard-playing pirate’s career...

Inktober day 4 - Every year on her birthday, Lady McFiddleFire, The Protected of the Flood and the Flame adds a single duck feather to the cloak she wears permanently on her back. The cloak protects her from the ravages of water just as well as it did the feathers’ former owners, while her stolen violin gives her power over fire - a potent combination, making her one of the few able to resist the coercion of the Banjo King.

the Jug of Fate is one of 7 cursed bluegrass instruments, currently wielded by Jugslugger McDaniels. Fired from stoneware clay mined from the forgotten banks of the Inverse Mississippi River, the contents of this jug were distilled so purely by “Popcorn” Lucious Sweet that the fumes ignited themselves as they hit the air. Though the contents have long since been consumed a low blue fire constantly burns on the lip of the jug, amplifying the bass sounds produced by its musician to a volume that reveals the deepest truths of its listeners to the player.

River pirates have to be even tougher than their seafaring counterparts, on account of there being only two directions for any ship to sail in so confrontations are much harder to run from, and none are tougher than Wanda Washboard and her band The Riverboat Slots. Launching their attacks from the steam-powered riverboat The Fanciful Hootenanny, Wanda Washboard and her scurvyless crew (plenty of citrus available down south) have so far eluded capture and death for coming up on 7 years.

His traveling circus lost as collateral damage during the Flatbelly Uprising against the tyranny of the Banjo King, Cornelius McDaniels originally took up arms against the Banjo King, but was eventually corrupted by the power of his banjo. With the Jug of Fate as his instrument, he is more than a match for all but the most skilled bluegrass musicians.

Contrary to his title his mandolin is not actually untuneable, just cursed. The Mandolin of Languishing prevents him from being found and subverted by the Banjo King, so long as he never sets foot into a music store to purchase new strings. The cursed nature of Budreax’s instrument prevents him from playing any other, so rather than risk breaking a string during tuning he simply adapts to the tuning he has. He waits patiently in a cave deep in the Ozark  Sovereignty for the one foretold to end the reign of Plantagenet, the Past and Future Banjo King.