#mckell

Social media is my biggest frienemy. Sometimes I hate that anyone can figure anything out about my life with a google search, sometimes I just don’t have time, most of the time I compare myself to others, and I always hate trying to keep up with having an “aesthetic feed”. Other times I think of this as preparation for my own reality TV show and I’ll overshare to the point of embarrassment. It’s two opposite ends of the spectrum and it changes every day.

Social media is such a huge part of my life and I don’t want it to be a negative thing for me or anyone. I’ve written up five ways that have helped me create a more positive experience on social media and hope it inspires you in your social media journey.

REMEMBER: People mostly share their highlights.

I know I am. My highlights are pictures from trips I’ve been home from for six months. Your highlights might be football games and mirror selfies; my aunt’s is home improvement projects and crockpot recipes; an influencer’s might be their new Chanel bag and the million dollar home they’re building. Because let’s be really honest here, no one really wants to post pictures crying in the parking lot of Chick-fil-A because they only gave you one sauce, or having a panic attack because you don’t know how to pay your tuition, the seven nights a week you’re sitting in your room alone watching Netflix, or when you feel so overwhelmed and defeated you never want to leave your room again. I don’t want to be that vulnerable and I don’t want to make you that uncomfortable. That’s why we share the good stuff, the happy stuff, not awkwardly vulnerable/private stuff. And that’s okay as long as you remember there’s more than what you see on their feed.

*Note: There are some people that have no problem sharing vulnerable stuff. They’ll tell you all about how their house is a mess, their kids are crazy, they got two hours of sleep, and they’re struggling with anxiety and depression. Those people are superheroes and I just want to give credit to them for being so real.

You can customize what you see on social media.

If you’re feeling frustrated or insecure or just all around awful when you’re using social media you need to remember that you have the power to change what you see. Unfollow people (even the ones you actually know), follow the right people (the ones trying to be positive), or log off for a couple days (or weeks or months). Do whatever you have to do to take care of yourself. Social media is not meant to make you feel awful so don’t let it.

Try to connect, not compare.

The hardest thing for me (and I dare say for most people) is comparing myself to others, especially on Instagram. Last year I wrote a blog post about ‘quitting’ and a lot of it had to do with quitting the comparison game. I just had to realize a person is still a person no matter how aesthetic their feed is or how many followers they have or how many places they’ve traveled or whatever it might be. Instead of seeing each other as competitors, we should seek to make connections. We should be cheering each other on and being kind to one another! If you find yourself stuck comparing yourself to others then go back to number two and unfollow them.

Do not follow/support accounts that are adding negativity to social media.

You are part of the problem when you follow people who cyberbully (whether it be a page dedicated to bashing someone or one hurtful comment). And if you are the cyberbully you should really reflect on what’s wrong with you. (Seriously, what’s wrong with you??)

If you want social media to be a positive space then you be positive too.

I think the most amazing thing about life is that you can change. You can delete all social media, throw your phone into the ocean and become a sheepherder in Iceland. You could create a blog and share every outfit you wear, every meal you eat, and every thought you have. Whatever you do – do it with the intent to build a positive space for not only you but everyone else too.

Social media does not have to be a negative space. YOU can create a more positive experience for yourself – and you should! I want to know, what has helped you create a positive social media experience??

For my nineteenth birthday, my bff Kaitlinn and I went to Park City and stayed the night. We shopped until we literally almost dropped, planned our trip to Hawaii (mostly I told her what I had already planned and she nodded), ate delicious food (brunch at The Bridge was AMAZING), made a list of 19 Things I’ve Learned in My 19 Years, and wandered through the Park Silly Sunday Market.

I was pretty much dreading that my birthday was a Sunday this year but it ended up being one of my favorite birthdays ever! It wasn’t filled with a huge party or a bunch of presents but I got to do things that I loved with my favorite people and that makes a great day in my book!

I turned N I N E T E E N on Sunday!!! It’s so weird that I am now the age I always pretended to be when I was a little girl playing “house”. However, it’s not quite what I imagined it would be. I thought by now I would definitely have a huge house, nice car, a husband, and two kids. Instead, I’m in college, working full-time, perpetually single, and trying to travel as much as possible. It’s not exactly what my six-year-old self had planned…IT’S BETTER. There’s a lot of things I really love about the stage of life I’m in and I’m soaking up every second of it because I’m told that “in the blink of an eye” I’ll be 43 with five kids wondering where the time has gone and if I can just have five minutes to myself.

I love birthdays because it’s another chance to reevaluate my goals, re-motivating myself, and reflecting on the previous year. When I was thinking about the last year or so I just kept asking myself “what’s the one thing you learned when you were 18?” Instead of one thing I learned in one year, I made a list of nineteen things I have learned in my nineteen years:

Embrace change, it’s the only thing that’s consistent.

If you don’t ask the answer will always be no.

Save as much money as possible as soon as possible.

It’s better to take too many pictures than not enough. Buy a camera. Use all the storage on your phone. Print them off.

Stop taking social media so seriously. Quit comparing yourself to everyone else. Unfollow the people who make social media a negative experience for you.

Write. Lists, thank you notes, in your journal, etc. Just write.

Dream big, set goals, and work hard to achieve them.

No one actually knows what they’re doing.

Stop trying to find “the one”.

It’s not cool to hate everything.

Pay off your credit card every month.

Give yourself time to heal.

Stop trying to “save” everyone – you’re only hurting yourself.

You can’t take something back once it has already been said.

No one's life is as perfect as their Instagram feed. People only share the highlights.

Take responsibility for your happiness, misery, success, failure, etc.

Never stop learning.

Don’t lower your standards because you are insecure, lonely, and/or bored.

Your worth is not defined by the number of likes/followers you have, how often you travel, how many countries you’ve been to, how much money you make, how many friends you have, the size you wear, etc.