#mcarr

The news rendered Charlie, for once in his life, silent. He was at a complete loss for words. Secret girlfriend? Secret baby? Did he even know Mason anymore? It seemed like yesterday that Charlie was bothering his older brother about something stupid for the sake of annoying him. But now they were adults. And Mason was having a kid. And...why didn’t Charlie even see this coming?

He spent the rest of the lunch silent, trying to process what the hell had actually just happened. He left early, barely even muttering a goodbye. Mason was going to have a baby. A whole other human life to take care of. The last baby that Mason had to deal with was him, and that was nineteen years ago. Before that, it was Kit and...Courtney.

Charlie tried to erase the thought from his head. This baby had nothing to do with Court. It was Mason’s kid, he didn’t even know why the thought of his dead sister would cross his mind. But there she was, smiling and the thought of her was just there. Charlie caused her to die— if it hadn’t been for Charlie, Courtney would still be there and there would be fine.

And then there was the fact that Courtney’s death was Charlie’s fault, and would that ruin any possible relationship he would have with his niece? Would Mason even let Charlie hold her? Babysit? His older siblings all got to hang around him as a baby, he knew Mason had to change his fair share of Charlie diapers. He never got to experience that as the youngest, and he wanted to. He wanted to help Mason out because according to his older brothers, babies are hard.

Finally, Charlie didn’t know if he could even trust himself around this baby. He had a tendency to blow everything up and he didn’t want to make a baby explode in a vermillion burst. Especially not his brother’s baby. He was a baby himself. He would fuck this up somehow like he fucked up everything else in the world. Charlie hated feeling like this but he just couldn’t help it. He just got this way sometimes.

For the next two days, Charlie hid himself away. He locked himself in his room, he didn’t even talk to Kit. He couldn’t face his family with the ghost of Courtney hanging over his shoulder. When he finally felt up to it, he apparated to Mason’s apartment. With three knocks, his fate was sealed. Anxiety was boiling in his chest as he tried to even figure out what to say to his brother when the door opened.

“I’m not gonna kill your baby,” Charlie said as soon as the door opened, unable to hold back the thought that had been running around his mind. “I-- I’m sorry. I just...I won’t.”