Hi there! I’m an enfp dating another enfp (idk about our enneagrams). We’ve been dating since April, official since July and it’s been incredible. We are so in love in a way neither of us have felt before and talk about getting married/having kids/spending our lives together all the time. (We’re in our early 30s) I know you don’t know us individually but do you have any advice/insight into enfp relationships? Things to look out for? I just wanna do all I can to keep him forever..Thanks!
Hello. Thank you for reaching out.
Enneagram types and instinctual variants are probably more important when attempting to gauge out "compatibility" or dynamics in relationships, so I'd have to know your full types to be able to guess anything that would apply to how you two would be together...but even so, it wouldn't say much. Telling you about how two enfps might hypothetically be in a relationship is useless, as there are too many possibilities of how that could turn out, because it isn't a precise science. Individuals are complex, and there is more to their personalities than their MBTI (values, goals for the future, beliefs...etc) and the way people are raised + their environment influences them.
If you want to keep him, learn to know him, very carefully, and be open in return. Work on communication in the relationship and fix issuea, and try to reach compromises, together. Discuss boundaries and what is most important to you and the other person.
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That said, when I try to imagine an ENFP x ENFP relationship, I can see that it would be a great deal of fun as you will be able to understand eachother like no other type can. This is a good thing, but can also be a bad thing, as you may help validate eachother's flaws which leads to stagnation; same-type relationships have a risk of halting either person's personal developement as you get "too comfy." Focus on growing together, to avoid this. This means that you should encourage eachother to create firm goals and learn to stick to them, and plan out the process properly, following all necessary steps, which low Te can struggle with. Stay grounded, and keep track of real life mundanities (finance, health...etc) that ENFPs can lose track of due to inf Si.
An issue that is prevalent in ENFPs is that they get easily carried away by their enthusiasm, so they might idealize their partners, just like they tend to overly-idealize the ideas or possibilities that come to them, before they even try to develop said ideas, and then forgo critical thinking. This leads them to have unrealistic expectations or even getting to the point of being blind to the reality of the thing, then being disappointed when reality, eventually, hits.
I hope this helps.
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