What had started off as a wonderful night out and away from homework and worrying about the state of the wizarding world had turned into a nightmare: a waking nightmare, like Grace was trapped in a rotating circus of horrors that she couldn't escape. Locked in the Great Hall with the only escape being the toilets, Grace was continually forced to relive each and every agonising second that had passed between her and Autumn - she had to walk by the spot where they'd danced while her brain replayed each stupid word that had left her mouth or the shattered look on Autumn's face before she'd walked away. Grace needed to get out: she wanted to run or scream or cry into her pillow while Olivia or Cassidy fretted quietly on their beds and made her a cup of tea. She wanted to be out of the stupid dress that her stupid grandmother had picked for her and into pyjamas; she wanted to be out of the stupid Great Hall filled with stupid music that even stupider couples were dancing to. Her thoughts were abrasive, and Grace felt guilty for taking out her anger and shame on those around her, which only made her cry harder. Thankfully, she'd chosen waterproof mascara and eyeliner for that night, but Grace still felt like a wreck, huddled against the wall wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand and praying no one would recognise her.Â
She let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes, trying to think of something good - something happy - and she thought of Fitz sitting up in her room but the thought of him only made her cry harder because of how much she missed him. Just as Grace was about to give up and make a break for Ravenclaw Tower, there were footsteps approaching and paused beside her. Opening her eyes and looking up, she was met with a creased brow and piercing blue eyes that caught the light, and suddenly Minister of Magic Lowell Tegus crouching beside her. "Are you alright, Miss. Farrow?" came the concerned voice that sent shivers down her spine.
"No, yes-... I'm fine," she said, voice watery, and she tried to smile to prove it. It was not only embarrassing to cry in front of the other students, but to cry in front of the Minister? Her grandmother was probably having heart palpitations at the mere prospect. "It's nothing, really," she clarified in a stronger voice, trying to channel her family's expectations.
"It doesn't seem like nothing - is there anything I can do?" he asked, and he dug into his top pocket and pulled out a clean and pressed handkerchief, which he handed to Grace. She took it and dabbed at her cheeks, tears drying before she sniffed and shook her head.Â
"No, really, thank you though," she replied. "I apologise for ruining your night - I'm sure you came here to dance and enjoy yourself, not witness teenage girls break down in the shadows."
Lowell let out a warm laugh, and for a fleeting moment, Grace wondered if he really was the monster that everyone painted him to be. "A Minister takes on all the problems of his citizens, even the drama filled ones of teenage girls," he said, and he stood up, adjusting his dress robes. "Perhaps you'd like to take a walk and get some fresh air? Get your mind off of the problem?"
It didn't occur to Grace that she could really refuse: her family had pushed her into this very position, and with her thoughts still circling on Autumn, she knew that she had to do something to forget. She smiled and, when he offered his hand, she accepted, allowing Lowell to pull her up. Grace adjusted her dress and pushed back the curls from her face, nodding. "That would be lovely, thank you," she said in her most demure and polite tone, her pureblood training coming through from the days when her grandmother constructed each and every word out of her mouth. Lowell linked his arm with hers and led Grace from the Great Hall, striding toward the double doors of the castle, and when she glanced over her shoulder, she saw that they were tailed by two of Lowell's auror bodyguards.Â
"It's a beautiful night," Lowell said conversationally as they emerged into the cool night air, and Grace filled her lungs, nodding along to what he said, "I really couldn't have asked for a more pleasant evening than the one I've just enjoyed. I got to meet many students -- you have a lot of interesting peers," he continued, and Grace nodded silently again. "But perhaps of more interest is your own family, the Farrows. A pure line, no?"
"Very pure," Grace said immediately, coming to her family's defense. "My grandmother, Ida, takes a lot of pride in ensuring that we remain so over the centuries."
"A good woman," came Lowell's reply, "very loyal to her purity and her family - that is something to be admired. I do hope you hold the same values?"
Grace's thoughts drained of Autumn at the question, and suddenly it felt like a fight for her own survival - there was nothing threatening in the way Lowell spoke, but it still screamed of a double question, one that she couldn't  - and shouldn't - say no to. "Of course," she said, trying to sound confident. "I'm hoping to make an advantageous marriage after I graduate, someone whom my family approves of." It made her heart feel heavy at the prospect of the future laid before her, but it was one that had been hers as soon as she was born: she would marry for purity and purity alone. "It's an honour and my duty to carry on the pureblood line," she recited, flashing Lowell a smile.
"I must say that it is refreshing to see someone so committed to the pureblood cause," Lowell said, "I had the pleasure of sharing a dance with Miss. Whitting - she, too, is of a like mind to you." Lowell led them in a slow circle under the moon. "I suppose you two are close?"
"Very," lied Grace, smiling again. "Evangeline and I are good friends - I think she will make an excellent wife to someone of pure origins as well."
"Splendid," said Lowell, voice low, and he clutched Grace's arm a little tighter. "I must confess I am pleased with your family, Miss. Farrow -- your cousins do good work within in the Ministry, and with your parents' on going support - as well as your grandmother's - I feel you yourself have a bright future with us." The proposal sent shivers down Grace's spine - that was the last thing she wanted, but she smiled at Lowell all the same.
"It would be a privilege, Sir," she said.
Lowell nodded once, before releasing her arm. "Excellent, excellent," he murmured, and glancing over his shoulder to his aurors, he nodded. One strode forward. "I must get back to the Great Hall, but it has been a pleasure conversing with you, Miss. Farrow. If you'd like to go back to your dorm, you will of course have an escort," and he indicated his auror with a sweep of his arm. "Until we meet again," he said, and stooping, he kissed the back of Grace's hand and left, the spare auror trailing after.Â
Grace watched him go, goosebumps trailing over her bare arms as he disappeared into the light of the castle, and she then turned her gaze to the auror. She had long brown hair and green eyes, and Grace nodded to her once. "I'd like to go back now," Grace said, voice small, and the auror didn't speak a word but turned on her heel and led the way back into the castle. They passed the Great Hall where music could still be heard wafting out, but Grace wasn't in the mood - she wanted to be alone, stomach twisting with the thought of Lowell knowing her family and forcing purity politics to come spewing out of her mouth. The auror was steeled in silence, dropping Grace at the bronze eagle of Ravenclaw and leaving, striding away quickly, and Grace watched her go before answering the riddle morosely and entering the Ravenclaw common room, where a fire was burning. It was warm and Grace felt frozen solid, so she hitched her dress around her thighs and sat in front of the fire, staring blankly into the flames. Her head felt abuzz with Lowell's words mingling with Autumn's looks, the press of Autumn's lips mixing with the pressure of Lowell's arm trapping her own, and Grace could only bring her knees to her chest before she pressed her forehead to them and cried - not because she was scared or because she was sad, but because she was alone -- and the pressure of being Grace Farrow had finally caught up with her.
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