#may 15

May 15, 2026

May 15, 2026

May 15, 2026

May 15, 2026

2TE10M-2035 Novomichurinsk Station

— ✨#آمالي🌱 #️⃣ #دعائي🤲 🔥 High 🗓 May 15, 2026 at 09:12PM⏳️

My art teacher asked my class to use a scene from a book that we really connected with and draw ourselves as the main character in the scene. We were learning about Artemisia Gentileschi and how she inserted herself into her artwork. I didn’t finish it. I was too focused on the long-form question that was before it and the explanation that was connected to the drawing. What I did accomplish was a sink and a person with no face. It had a head and hair and glasses, but it didn’t have any other features of a face. I didn’t want it to. I am a faceless character. Everyone’s perception of me is slightly different. I am too loud and annoying. Nice and intelligent. Hypocritical and disappointing. I am scary and mean. Creative and resilient. Rational and dilligent. A good student. Apologetic and with a guilty conscience. Prideful. Self-isolating. Extroverted. A nerd, a book worm. Obsessive and easily attached. Uncaring. I move on too quickly. One person to get attached to and then a new one. I am a puzzle piece to figure out and categorize. I am a blank canvas to paint your opinions, speech habits, facial expressions, typing style, media taste on. I am nothing. I will never amount to anything because I will always need to rely on the approval of others. I cannot take it. I must be loved. To be loved is to be of worth. To be loved is to be great. To be loved is to love myself. To be loved is to be happier. Posters and people always tell you to ‘be yourself’, but how can I do that when I am nothing but everyone that I have loved and lost and that have loved me? They are themselves and I am them. To be loved is to break and mold and cut and hide and erase yourself. To be loved is to pretend.