Reno, NV–Spokespeople from tech companies Apple, Google, and Facebook confirmed to Max Media on Saturday afternoon that time stopped ticking 1400 days ago. In order to quell public panic, the government seems to have pressured the tech giants, as well as all other technological companies, to artificially continue time on people’s devices as if nothing had changed.

The story was broken by a man named Greyson Beffa (his name has been changed here to protect Beffa’s identity and preserve his safety. He fears the government will track him down and ask him to atone for his massively damaging revelation. He has been on the run for now what would have otherwise been about 18 hours.) Beffa, an ordinary man with an intermediate knowledge of the devices he uses in his everyday life, noticed two days ago that the date on his smart phone had reverted to April 26, 2012, exactly 1400 days ago. All of the pictures and posts on his own social media accounts were time stamped as 1400 days ago on Instagram, for instance. Thinking little of it besides an innocuous glitch, Beffa tweeted his theory that time had stopped and he’d inadvertently been made privy to the truth about time. Several of his followers, probably thinking Beffa’s “joke” was funny, retweeted the post.

As it turned out, thousands of people had actually experienced the so-called glitch and Beffa’s theory, while the most fantastical, was also seen as the most plausible. The tweet has since gone viral, having been retweeted 1.6 million times and liked more than 3 million times since, well, April 26, 2012, if we are to be truthful.

Several media outlets picked up on the story, and “hours” ago, President Barack Obama confirmed the conspiracy and admitted that time has indeed stopped. Additionally, the president admitted that no one knows why, the least of which being the technology companies asked to conspire in the ruse. Why the public had been duped, Obama was unclear about. Perhaps there was concern that pawn shops would be overwhelmed by watch and clock owners who no longer saw any need for the items and the pawn shop economy would falter. Your guess is as good as anyone’s until further information is provided.

When asked about the general implications of time stopping, Randy Butler, physicist at Northern Nevada University, said, “Life as we know it appears to have remained the same, though it’s been April 26, 2012 for what has merely felt like 1400 days. Not even Newton, Einstein, or Hawking could have predicted this would happen, but for the everyday person, life will simply go on. Most people will probably find the article you write to be totally unintelligible and nonsensical.” If Butler is right, we may well wonder what the purpose of time, watches, and clocks ever was.

As for Beffa, when asked what he plans to do now that his theory has been corroborated by the authorities, he responded, “I’m going to live forever.”

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaiR0LT4JE4)

The last time Rome covered up its monuments, Hitler was visiting.

Italy made several compromising arrangements to please Iran President Hassan Rouhani during his recent visit with Italy's Prime Minister Matteo and the Pope; including hiding precious cultural statues in disgrace, not serving alcohol during supper, meanwhile agreeing to 12billion dollars’ worth of business with Iran.

 Wooden crates were placed around the famous second Century BC Venus and other statues - removing the risk of them creeping into any of the shots - or worse, catching Rouhani's virgin eye.

 Alcohol was also not served at Rouhani's lunch and dinner with Italian premiers, as Rouhani refuses to attend official meals at which any alcohol is available. For the first time, wine was strictly off the menu at both lunch with President Sergio Mattarella, the  Pope, and dinner with Prime Minister Renzi.

Iranian President Hassan Rouhani said Wednesday that he had not asked his Italian hosts to cover up classical nude statues at Rome's Capitoline Museum where he visited with Prime Minister Matteo Renzi.

 When asked about the cover-up, A smiling Rouhani told reporters he had "no contact on the subject with Italian authorities.” He also added "I know that the Italians are very hospitable, a people who seek to make their guests' visits as pleasant as possible and I thank them for that,"

 Italian Culture Minister Dario Franceschini, who accompanied Rouhani on the museum trip, called the classical cover-up "incomprehensible". He insisted that neither Renzi nor himself had been made aware of the decision in advance.

 Italy's anti-immigration groups are very upset, and denounced the situation as:  "submitting to a culture which we do not share!"

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFiWRbuCWz8)

This is the complete video footage of a joint FBI and Oregon State Police traffic stop and OSP officer-involved shooting of Robert "LaVoy" Finicum on the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge. The Oregon state police had set an ambush aimed at taking the Oregon standoff leaders into custody, on their way to a town hall meeting. Robert "LaVoy" Finicum is one of the spokesmen for the armed occupation of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge is seen in this video, reaching twice into his waistband during the arrest, where he was hiding a 9 mm semi-automatic handgun. This excerpt shows Finicum being shot. Viewer discretion advised. Ryan Bundy, Ammon Bund’s brother, and two other women were in the car. One was 18 years old and has not been arrested or named, and the other is Shauna Coax, who has been arrested. After shooting Finicum, the police can be seen throwing flash bangs at the vehicle and shouting for the passengers to surrender. The federal agency played the video in an attempt to dispel rumors about the circumstances of Finicum's death two days earlier as he and other leaders of the armed standoff at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge were driving to a meeting. This footage was taken by the FBI on 01/26/2016 and released on 01/28/2016. The date and time stamp on the video is Zulu time, and not Oregon time. Police are hopeful that this arrest will end the month long occupation of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Harney County, Oregon, United States. The federal park headquarters was taken over by armed members of the Rump Militia, also known as The Citizens for Constitutional Freedom, under the leadership of Ammon Bundy and his gang. The group had split off from an earlier peaceful march in protest of the prison sentences for ranchers Dwight Hammond and his son, Steven Hammond. The Hammonds were convicted of arson on federal land, and were ultimately sentenced to five years imprisonment. Although the protests were called in their name, the imprisoned ranchers have themselves disavowed the militia's occupation. Protest leaders Ryan and Ammon Bundy are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. They, and some of the other militants, have cited the Mormon scripture as justification for defying the government’s authority. They believe that their protest was requested by God. Ammon Bundy, and his father Cliven Bundy, are famous for their anti-government protests at their Bundy Ranch. Cattle ranching in Harney County predates the 1908 establishment of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge. Many ranchers, including the Hammond family, used the area for cattle trails dating back to the 1870s. Disputes between cattle ranchers and the federal government over management of the area has gone on for generations, and the situation has regularly deteriorated to taunts and threats directed at federal officials from ranchers. During the standoff, Ammon Bundy used much of the same language as his father Cliven Bundy, "mixing Mormon religious symbolism with a disgust of the federal government" . One member of Bundy's militant group refused to give any other name to the press than "Captain Moroni, from Utah”, and was quoted as saying, "I didn't come here to shoot. I came here to die." This video shows how Robert "LaVoy" Finicum attempted to evade capture from the FBI roadblock by speeding away in his truck. Earlier this week, Robert Finicium had been described by many people as quite a dumb individual, after posting a video online of him questioning curators, and other scientists on their preservation methods of ancient Native artifacts. His futile attempt to evade a well-planned FBI roadblock, and his lack of understanding of the seriousness of the situation, lead to his death. Finicium soon speeds away from his arresting officers, and crashes into a snowbank, trying to avoid the second planned FBI roadblock. After crashing the truck, he can be seen jumping out of the car, and putting his hands up. As police approached him from all directions, you can clearly see him hesitate, turn, and reach for his belt, where he was holding a 9mm gun. Black or white, that is just a stupid move…

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