#max dicks

Running where: VIC

Because these are both ungrouped independent candidates, you can only give them a preference if you vote below the line

I do not have time to review all twelve(!) people standing as ungrouped independents for the Senate in Victoria. Happily, Something for Cate has you covered there. I have previously reviewed Glenn Floyd of the unregistered Liberty Party. Joe Toscano, anarchist and serial candidate, is running again; I reviewed him all the way back in 2013.

But I absolutely cannot resist writing reviews of the two candidates with the best names on any ballot in the entire country.

James Bond (website)

The name’s Bond, Senator James Bond. Or at least that’s what he hopes to be able to say. For now the name is Bond, Dr James Bond: his about page says he holds a PhD in geography and legal studies. He completely leans into the humour of his name: his campaign launch video is chock-full of references to the James Bond films. He urges you to vote for him because he’s on a top-secret mission and a crucial part of that is being elected as an Australian Senator, because a “bad guy” (cue image of Morrison) is “going to explode the world, probably your place too”. If you don’t vote for him, he’ll be “shaken… but not stirred”.

Yes, this is a bit of a piss-take, but he's not one of those joke candidates without an platform. Of his seven policies—sorry, “007 policies”—the leading one is a Boomer Tax. Yep, a Boomer Tax. He defines this as an umbrella term for abolishing negative gearing and halving the capital gains tax discount, in order to make it easier for first-home buyers to enter the market and boost government revenue. Under other subheadings (actually six, not seven), he indicates support for more wildlife sanctuaries, an emissions trading scheme, net zero by 2035, a wage increase for those in nursing and childcare, and equity and respect for all genders (yes, an openly trans-friendly candidate). Bond states that a federal ICAC is “a no brainer and well overdue … Don’t let the Prime Minister gaslight the country into thinking that we dont need a federal ICAC.” Honestly I wish other parties would be this straightforward and to-the-point.

My recommendation: He might be a joke candidate, but he deserves a decent or good preference depending on the extent to which you appreciate his comedy (it's not always high-brow).

Max Dicks (website)

Max is fully aware he has the funniest name on the ballot, but he also has a serious platform. Every clip I’ve watched has made me think he seems like a good guy and that he badly needs to have a running mate next time so that he can have a square above the line. His climate policy is refreshingly straightforward: “climate action—come on guys”. He takes the need for a more substantial response as simply a given. He supports a properly funded NDIS, better funding for research (particularly the CSIRO), and more public transport. He demands a federal ICAC and greater government transparency with one of the best calls to action I’ve seen from any party on this topic: “Trust is something built. Help me start building.”

He’s also concerned with improving voter literacy, which as a below-the-line candidate is obviously a practical concern for him; given I’m writing this blog, you can imagine it’s something I am passionate about too. The only thing I was lukewarm about—besides the fact a lot of his “policies” are motherhood statements, which is fairly inevitable for an ungrouped indie—is that he would prefer to make cars safer rather than reduce speed limits. I don’t quibble with safer cars, but this isn’t an “either/or”, it’s a “both/and” if we want streets with good multi-modal choices that are safe for all users. (I suppose this is the point where he directs me to his “think I'm a dick” page: “Unfortunately I can’t be everything you might like in a politician”, so he gives tips to “help you on your journey into politics”, although he advises that “It's not cheap and it's sometimes a rough time, so think wisely.”)

Oh yeah, and he also has a theme song. It is as good as you would expect. “If you are sick and tired of members screwin’ politics / well, now it’s time for Dicks!”