#mawaruuuu

At 5:15 A.M. Arakita is rudely awoken by a pop song blaring in his ear. When he finally fumbles around enough to get ahold of his phone and answer it, he’s met with an equally irritating sound.

“Wake up, Arakita! We’re not going to wait for you if you’re late.”

Arakita jolts upright, looking around for his clock. “Hah? What time—you idiot!” he growls, catching sight of the blinking red five. “It’s still early! I’ll be there already!”

Toudou starts to say something else, but Arakita hangs up on him. Honestly, this guy, calling him even before Arakita’s alarm has gone off and making him panic. Toudou’s too much of a morning person for his own good.

Still, he’s right. Arakita has places to be. He turns off all three of his alarms and hauls himself out of bed, grumbling. His stuff is already packed, at least, and at this time of day the ride to Shinkai’s place won’t be long. He pulls on his long sleeve practice jersey and some thermal leggings and heads downstairs.

His mother is already up, making breakfast. “Good morning!” she says brightly when Arakita slouches his way into the kitchen. “Eat up; you need plenty of energy if you’re going to be out cycling all day. What time do you need to meet your friends?”

“Six thirty,” Arakita says, downing a glass of water. “Thanks mom,” he adds as she sets a plate on the table for him.

“Well, make it quick,” she tells him, sitting down. “We don’t want to leave too late.”

He doesn’t say goodbye to his sisters – it’s too early for them to be up, especially when there’s no school for them to be getting ready for. Arakita certainly likes sleeping in when he has a vacation, anyway. He writes a note instead, telling them not to bother mom too much while he’s away, even if it’s only going to be for a week or so.

His mother helps him load his bike onto the rack on their car and they head out. Arakita sends Toudou an email as they pull onto the highway.

I’m on the way. And I’m on time, so you didn’t need to call me this morning.

You’re on time because I called you! Toudou answers, and sends a picture of a thumbs up. Arakita grumbles at the screen, but honestly Toudou is probably right. He’s still pretty beat, even though he slept early last night. Leaning back against the headrest is comfortable, and he lets his eyes slide shut as his mother navigates.

He feels it when the car comes to a stop. It’s more of an effort to move; his eyelids feel stuck together a little. Arakita yawns, looking out the window to see they’ve pulled up to the curb outside Shinkai’s house. He’s been here once or twice before, but Arakita still has to admire it; there’s a big garden in the front that apparently Shinkai’s mother tends as a hobby. He’s never asked if Shinkai himself helps out, but the idea of him surrounded by plants and earth seems right, somehow. He’s good at taking care of things.

As he watches, the front door opens and Shinkai waves at him. Arakita can see Toudou behind him, craning to look out over Shinkai’s shoulder. He waves back and unbuckles his seatbelt, trying to shake himself awake. His mother leans over to kiss him on the cheek.

“Be careful. Call if you need anything.”

“Yeah, alright,” Arakita says, already halfway out the car door. He grabs his backpack and heads around to take his bike from the back of the car.

Shinkai holds the door open for him as he walks his bike up their driveway. Fukutomi and Toudou’s bikes are already leaning up against Shinkai’s near the door. Arakita props his Bianchi up with them and steps inside.

“Arakita!” Toudou greets him.

Shinkai claps him on the shoulder. “Good morning, Yasutomo.”

“Hey,” Arakita answers, following the two of them down the hall. He sees Fukutomi’s blond hair before they’ve even entered the living room. It’s spiked up a little more than usual today, like he was in a hurry putting gel in it.

“Morning, Fuku-chan,” Arakita calls. Fukutomi nods at him. Shinkai’s little brother is sitting next to him on the couch.

He turns to stare at Arakita as they enter. Arakita raises a hand halfheartedly. “Hey, Yuuto.”

He’s never been good with this kid. He’s just as hard to read as Shinkai is, except Shinkai usually gives you some idea of what he’s thinking. Yuuto gives him a little wave in return.

“Well, Juichi?” Shinkai asks, putting his hands on his hips. “Are we ready to head out?”

“Yes,” Fukutomi answers, pulling out a map. “Toudou and I know the route. One of us should lead until we get onto the trail.”

“Alright!” Toudou says, and leans around Arakita to scoop up his backpack from the floor. “We’ve all got our phones? Wallet? Change of clothes? Toothbrush?”

“Oh, fuck,” Arakita says suddenly.

“I packed an extra one, Yasutomo,” Shinkai tells him, smiling. “You forgot yours at the Interhigh, too.”

“Shut up,” Arakita snaps, “You need two just to get all the pieces of power bar out of your teeth, Shinkai.”

Fukutomi stands up and grabs his own bag. “Let’s get going.”

They fall into line, popping their water bottles into the plastic holders on the bike frames and wheeling the bikes down the driveway. Yuuto watches them from the stoop.

“See you,” he calls, once they’re all ready to go. Shinkai makes his pistol pose in return. Fukutomi clips into his pedals and starts off down the road; the rest of them follow suit.

Arakita speeds up a little to ride beside Fukutomi. “Fuku-chan, why did you pick the first week of vacation for this,” he complains. “It’s too cold!”

Fukutomi doesn’t look over, but he answers, “You’ll warm up once we get going.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Arakita says, and drops back to slip into line behind Toudou.

“It’s because you don’t dress warmly enough, Arakita,” Toudou says. “You’re so thin, you need an extra layer! You get sick every winter, no matter how many times I tell you.”

“Well, I don’t like the cold either,” says Shinkai from behind them. “But I think Juichi’s right; it will warm up as we go. Anyway, it’s kind of nice to do something fun right after our exams, don’t you think?”

“That’s right!” says Toudou cheerily. “You were all working so hard on your entrance exams, too, it’s good to relax now that it’s all settled.”

Arakita’s stomach flips unpleasantly. He’s excited for college – he certainly studied hard enough to get in – but he’s the only one of them going to Yonan. Shinkai and Fukutomi will be together, as usual, and Toudou is staying in Hakone, which leaves him alone to make a new start. Shinkai’s already offered to have him visit Meisou, but it’s not really the same. This break will be the last time the four of them are all together before college. It’s bittersweet.

He’s shaken out of his thoughts by Shinkai’s voice. “We should celebrate Juichi and Yasutomo’s birthdays as long as we’re all together.”

“No way!” Arakita bursts out. “I don’t want to celebrate by saying goodbye! And stop combining our birthdays already, they’re a whole month apart.”

“Ha!” Toudou’s dramatic side is coming out. “If you think this is goodbye, Arakita, you’ve got a rude awakening in store! How are you going to survive on your own without me checking in to make sure you’re eating and sleeping properly? And you never do your homework on time! I’ll have to come visit you.”

Arakita’s reply is cut off by Fukutomi calling back to them, “Right turn ahead.” He glances back, expression serious as usual, and adds, “I expect you and Toudou to visit us at Meisou, Arakita.”

“I get it already,” says Arakita, but he feels reassured. Shinkai bumps their shoulders together as he moves past to take the lead from Fukutomi.

They’re finally on a bike trail. From here it’s just a matter of keeping a steady pace as they head south, away from the snowy cap of Mount Hakone. In a couple days they’ll reach Hamamatsu, but spending time cycling together is the real goal.

  Around one, Fukutomi pulls over at the side of the road.

“We’re making good time,” he says, pulling out a power bar. “We will get in to the first stop at five.”

Arakita unclips from his pedals and rests his bike on the grass. It feels different to carry a backpack while cycling. Even if there’s not much in it, it adds extra weight he’s not used to. He’s halfway through downing one of his water bottles when Shinkai waves a power bar in front of him.

“I have my own,” he grumbles, but accepts it. Shinkai always buys chocolate-banana power bars. When they’d first met, Arakita had thought they sounded disgusting, but after years of Shinkai semi-insistently offering them, they’re not so bad.

“Everyone holding up?” Shinkai asks. “Should we sit for a bit?”

Toudou is fixing his hair under his helmet. “There’s not enough slopes,” he says, twirling a strand behind his ear, “but I could keep going all day. You’re fine, aren’t you, Hayato? It’s been mostly flat.”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Shinkai says easily. “Should we get back to it? I can draft for a while.”

Arakita stuffs the rest of the power bar in his mouth. “Hell no, it’s my turn. You’ve been hogging the front all morning.”

“If you want it, try to take it,” Shinkai says, and winks at him.

There’s something satisfying about heading down an open road, his friends at his back and the wind on his face. Arakita pulls hard until Toudou tells him to ‘slow down, or we’re going to have to drag you the rest of the way.’

They pull into the first hotel at five, as Fukutomi predicted. They take their bikes right up to the room, and Toudou takes the first shower while the rest of them settle in.

“We could order in,” Shinkai suggests, flipping through a takeout menu.

Arakita snatches it away from him. “Only if you’re paying. You eat enough for two people all on your own, Shinkai.”

“There are plenty of restaurants in the area,” Fukutomi says diplomatically. He’s already reviewing their route for tomorrow. Sometimes Arakita wishes Fukutomi knew the meaning of ‘taking a break’, but then again, he seems happy enough.

“More importantly, who gets what bed?” Arakita asks. Fukutomi’s already put his things down on the one closer to the window, so maybe it’s a pointless question. But there’s only two and Arakita doesn’t want to end up sleeping next to Toudou if he can help it. Toudou always complains about the way he kicks his sheets off halfway through the night and flings his arms out. It probably is annoying, to be fair, but Arakita can’t help how he sleeps.

“I’ll be with Juichi,” Shinkai offers.

Fukutomi looks up, brows furrowed. “No. You snore, Shinkai.”

Toudou comes out of the bathroom, wrapping a towel around his hair. “I’m with Fuku, then. I’m a light sleeper, you know.”

“Hah?” Arakita whips his head around to look between the two of them. “Wait a second—“

“Ah, well,” Shinkai says, looking sheepish. “I guess you have had to put up with a lot, Juichi. It’s fine, Yasutomo and I will take this one.”

“You sleep like a rock, Arakita,” Toudou tells him, firmly ignoring his incredulous expression. “Do you know how much poor sleep habits can affect your complexion?”

“Well, decide where we’re eating,” Shinkai says, and hops up to take the bathroom.

“We’re getting barbeque,” says Arakita, and eventually Toudou gives up on healthier suggestions and lets him pick a place.

  It’s true, Shinkai does snore. Arakita rolls over and groans into his pillow, but he can still hear Shinkai’s breath next to his ear. Toudou and Fukutomi are fast asleep across the room. Unfortunately, they’re both the type that go to sleep early and wake up at ungodly hours.

Arakita sighs. “Shinkai.”

There’s no response, predictably. “Shinkai,” he repeats, louder. When there’s still no change, Arakita draws back his foot and kicks Shinkai in the ankle.

“What,” Shinkai mumbles, starting. He blinks a few times, squinting at Arakita from the edge of his pillow.

“Stop snoring,” Arakita hisses. “I can’t sleep, idiot.”

“Sorry,” Shinkai says, and yawns. He’s shuffled closer at some point, until his head is resting against Arakita’s shoulder. “Is it late?”

“I don’t know.” He’s too close, but Arakita has his doubts that Shinkai really understands the concept of personal space.

“Yasutomo,” Shinkai’s voice is muffled, but intelligible. “I wanted to tell you, about what we were saying earlier.”

“Keep it down,” Arakita says under his breath. “What are you talking about?”

“I mean about college,” Shinkai answers. Some of his hair is falling across Arakita’s neck. It kind of tickles, but he stays still. Somehow it feels like he shouldn’t interrupt.

“I wanted to tell you that you don’t have to worry. I’m not going to leave you behind.” Shinkai trails off sleepily.

Arakita balls his hand into a fist at his side to keep himself from—something. He’s not sure if he wants to push Shinkai back onto his pillow or put an arm around him.

“What are you saying, anyway.” He mutters, but there’s no heat behind it. “Stupid Shinkai. I’m not worried, okay.”

“Okay,” Shinkai says drowsily. “Can I stay here?”

“No,” Arakita says, but he tugs the blanket up tighter and doesn’t move away.

  He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but the next morning he’s woken up by Toudou shaking his shoulder.

“Come on, you two! We’ve got a lot of distance to cover.”

Arakita startles awake. Toudou and Fukutomi are already dressed, and early morning light is streaming in through the windows. He starts to get up and has to flop back down. At some point in the night Shinkai has slung an arm around his middle.

“Oi,” Arakita nudges him. “Shinkai.”

Fukutomi watches him struggle. “There’s only free breakfast until eight.”

“You hear that?” Arakita asks, kicking Shinkai’s calf. “We’re leaving you to starve unless you wake up.”

“I’m up,” Shinkai says groggily. “I’m getting up.”

Once Arakita extracts himself from Shinkai’s grip, he has to kick Toudou out of the bathroom.

“Did you sleep well?” Toudou asks, and gives him a weird look. Arakita decides it pisses him off just enough to warrant flinging Toudou’s headband out into the room.

“Arakita!” Toudou yells, and Arakita closes the door as soon as he’s run after it. Whatever Toudou’s trying to say, he doesn’t need to hear it.

  The scenery is beautiful as they ride; Fukutomi and Toudou did a good job with mapping out the route. Mount Fuji is off to the right, rising over the hills. Toudou makes them stop at one point so he can take a photo.

“It’s to remind Maki-chan of what he’s missing when he’s in England!” Toudou announces, and then takes a selfie in front of the mountain.

“As if he would forget you,” Arakita says, rolling his eyes, “You’ll probably call him more than his damn parents.”

“Good!” says Toudou, tucking away his phone. “That way it will be like he hasn’t left.”

As they get back on the road, Arakita’s quiet. Toudou is going to miss Makishima, even if he says it’s fine. He’s always complaining that Makishima doesn’t text him back enough.

I won’t leave you behind. The problem is, he’s always been moving forward. You can’t keep going if the past is weighing you down.

  The next few days pass easily. They chat while they cycle, get lost once when Fukutomi takes a wrong turn (he spends the entire night apologizing, much to everyone else’s chagrin), and take photos of the towns they pass through for their teammates. Arakita’s never been one for that kind of thing, but he surprises himself by being the one to take most of them. Izumida apparently likes the landscapes, because he replies to each with a photo of his own and a message about the kind of training he’s doing. It’s almost like riding in the Interhigh again, just his teammates and the challenge of the road.

Arakita’s given up telling Shinkai to stay on his side of the bed. It’s not actually uncomfortable, and it’s more work than it’s worth to keep nudging him back to his end. It’s mostly the thought that it might be a long time before he next has to tell Shinkai to stop snacking at midnight, stop snoring in his ear, stop trying to chat when Arakita’s half asleep, that holds him back.

Of course Shinkai is going to leave him behind. There’s no difference between him and Arakita and Makishima and Toudou. They’ll both move on with their lives, get together on the weekends sometimes, send each other dumb emails, compete in races together – but the way they are now is something that has to be left behind. There’s no way for Arakita to take it with him.

  They get into Hamamatsu in the evening, four days after they left. The plan is to spend a full day in the town and then head back the next morning. How to spend the day is its own issue.

“We should go to the beach,” Arakita says over dinner.

“It’s too cold for the beach.” Toudou shakes his head. “I was hoping we could visit the temples outside the city, over by the lake.”

“You can go to a temple anywhere,” Arakita scoffs, and pushes his scraps around his plate. They’re wrapping up, for the most part, but Shinkai is still going strong on his second entrée.

“There’s a good bike route around the lake,” Fukutomi offers.

“I think we can take a day of not cycling, Juichi,” Shinkai says through a mouthful of rice. Fukutomi looks mildly affronted.

“Alright,” Toudou cuts in. “We don’t all have to do the same thing. Fuku and I can take the bike path around the lake and visit the temples, and Hayato, you and Arakita can check out the town.”

“Ah,” says Shinkai, and stops chewing as though a thought’s just struck him. “I wanted to go to the zoo. How about it, Yasutomo?”

“You can go to a zoo anywhere too,” Arakita gripes, but he shrugs. “It’s fine.”

“See?” Toudou crows. “Easy. And we can meet up for dinner. I already found a place with good reviews.”

Arakita gets an early night. It’s been a long couple of days, even if they’re not going at racing speed. He’s woken up halfway through the night by a strange feeling of anticipation. When he opens his eyes Shinkai’s face is entirely too close to his. He jerks backward into his pillow.

“What—“ he starts to yell, then catches himself. Shinkai jumps too.

“Sorry,” Shinkai starts to say, pulling back a little.

“Shh,” Arakita hisses. He casts a glance over Toudou, who shifts but doesn’t seem to have woken up. “What the hell are you doing?” Arakita whispers furiously, turning back to glare at Shinkai.

“I wanted to see if you were awake,” Shinkai answers. He at least has the grace to look apologetic.

Arakita falls back onto his pillow with a thump. “I’m awake now.” His face feels vaguely hot. Shinkai is still leaning over him, looking like he has no intention of moving.

“You seem like you’re having a tough time,” Shinkai says mildly, watching him.

“What, right now?” Arakita glances back over at the other bed. This isn’t really a conversation he wants to be having at this hour of the morning.

“The last couple of days. Actually, since graduation. I didn’t want to bring it up in front of Juichi and Jinpachi.”

“I’m fine,” Arakita mutters. He can’t meet Shinkai’s eyes. Somehow, Shinkai is incredibly good at this kind of thing. It’s like he can see straight into Arakita’s head.

“You can talk to me about anything,” Shinkai offers. Arakita rolls over so he doesn’t have to look at him.

“I’ll deal with it. Seriously.”

“…Okay.” Shinkai says finally. He settles down behind Arakita, curling his body up so they’re resting like spoons. Arakita falls asleep to the sound of his breathing evening out, steady and deep.

  Toudou and Fukutomi wake them up as they’re leaving. Arakita must sound exhausted, because Toudou repeats what time they’re meeting up at later for him twice before Fukutomi firmly ushers him out the door. Arakita’s set to go back to sleep, but Shinkai has the free hotel breakfast on his mind and keeps trying to talk to him about it. Eventually Arakita gives up and rolls out of bed and into some casual clothes.

The zoo is nice. Small, not like the one in Tokyo that Arakita went to when he was a kid, but they have snow leopards, which he’s always liked. Shinkai takes a photo of him in front of the wolf exhibit as a joke and sends it to Manami and Izumida. It’s a mistake to let Shinkai read the zoo guidebook, because he insists on visiting the ‘live interaction corner’ where the zoo staff provides rabbits for visitors to pet. “You have a rabbit at home,” Arakita complains, but Shinkai looks so happy that he pets one too. They’re pretty calm, unlike Shinkai’s rabbit, which is sweet but definitely a handful. He’s only had her for a year and a half and she’s already escaped from her hutch several times.

They wander around the rest of the exhibits until they find one that makes Shinkai stop to read the information card. “Pikas,” he tells Arakita. “They’re related to rabbits.” They watch the small animals scramble up and down a rock face for a few minutes. Shinkai looks like he could happily spend the rest of the day here and not be bored. “They’re cute.”

They are pretty cute. Arakita watches one take a mouthful of greenery that’s nearly as big as its body. Shinkai keeps looking over at him like there’s something more he wants to say.

“Here,” Arakita says finally. “Let me get a picture of you with the rabbit things.”

Shinkai waits patiently while he takes several photos at different angles and levels of zoom. Arakita gives him a thumbs up once he’s satisfied and checks through them. There’s one that he knows immediately is a keeper – Shinkai is smiling in that sleepy way he has, leaning against the fence in a comfortable slouch. The sun makes his hair look warmer, more red than brown. Behind him, one of the pikas is sitting up and looking at Arakita.

“Can I see how it turned out?” Shinkai asks, coming up to look over his shoulder.

Arakita turns to show him the phone and has just enough time for his brain to say ‘oh’ before Shinkai is kissing him.

“Ah,” he manages, when Shinkai pulls away. Then, “We’re in the middle of the zoo! What are you doing!?”

Shinkai gives him a look that’s equal parts fond and exasperated.

“You’ve been worried,” he says simply. “When you’re only looking ahead, it’s easy to forget the things you pass on the way. That’s what’s been bothering you, right, Yasutomo?”

“I,” Arakita starts, but he doesn’t know how to finish the sentence. He should move away – they are right in the middle of the zoo, there are people around – but he feels rooted to the spot.

“You always take what Juichi says so seriously, Yasutomo,” Shinkai tells him. He’s not laughing, but it’s close. “You can move ahead to new things without leaving the old behind. Not everything is there to weigh you down.”

“That’s what you were talking about,” Arakita says slowly. His head feels heavy. All of this, and Shinkai’s right. He’s been trying so hard to hold on to the moment because he’s afraid to lose it.

He realizes Shinkai is still looking at him and squares his shoulders. “Like I would leave you behind either.” He feels lighter, suddenly. Maybe it’s that he’s an open book about his feelings, or maybe Shinkai just knows him too well, to be able to see what Arakita himself was having trouble accepting. “Ha! Idiot! As though I’m going to worry about all of that.”

He grabs Shinkai’s hand, feeling bold. “Listen! We’ve got a whole lot more animals to see, so forgot about your rabbit things and let’s go. I’m not covering for you to Toudou if we’re late.” Arakita glances back at him and gets the most genuine smile he’s ever seen from Shinkai. He feels like there’s something else he should say. ‘Let’s go here again,’ maybe, or ‘I like you, stupid, so don’t get too far ahead of me.’