#mattyj

Shock horror, Laura got the first kiss.

Besides that, could he have rocked up in a more pathetic boat?

Dafaq is your yacht mate? Oh that’s right Channel 10 went bust.

Oh wait, there is it. Sully’s funds must have cleared.

“Thanks Sandra”

I am so excited for this first kiss, it means KK and I are 10 kisses away from racking in hugggge $$$ on Sportsbet.

Start writing that resignation letter KK.

Arts and crafts? Laura you fool, drag Matty J and that bod of his into the McMansion behind your easel and drop trou.

“Let’s hope she don't fuck like she draws”

I am intrigued that design courses involve painting naked people every other day, did you have to do that Amanda? 

Gotta say though, this date is so boring I’d have more fun setting myself on fire.

Cue the Magic Sex Couch for some well over due entertainment, we are boarding on Richie season boredom here.

I wonder if Matty J can still smell that bitch Georgia on it. I’m sure it would be the same couch ‘cause #Receivership

and after some research....

© me

It is.

I don’t know how that kiss could have gotten Laura ‘over excited’, bitch don’t know over excited until she’s matched with and boned Dr Chris.

I also don’t know what dafaq Osh is tryna do, he’s about to make Matty J crack with all the flashbacks.

The sex couch from last season, the medieval themed group date... I am certain Matty had to dress up like a fuckwit in a knights outfit last year to try and woo Ms Hater Love.

Yep he did.

“fuck my life”

And so ends another episode that I almost fell asleep watching before seeing crazy eyes depart.

I CBA watermarking them it's taking too long lol but I promise it was me