Sitting on Mattâs sofa, I flip through the last of the channels again. And finally give up and turn the television off.
Picking up the newspaper I saw the date and had to catch my breath. Valentines Day. A date I have tried to avoid seeing for the last two years.
But here I was in Mattâs apartment, him at work, working with Foggy and Karen on the new case.
I try not to think of the dinners that me and Maria used to go on. But it was impossible. Restaurants , dancing. Sitting in Central Park on a blanket. Sometimes bringing the kids.
Than at night we would share our gifts. Both of us usually laughing at the crappy thing the other got at the last minute.
And than there was the sex, damn it was always quiet but rough. Loving at times. Us taking breaks between showtime, to laugh at stupid corny Love confessions we picked out of hallmark cards.
I could feel the tears beginning to fall. But the flipping of newspaper pages brought me back to reality.
I watched in fear and interest, as it stopped in the ad section.
In which a certain ad was circled with an invisible pen âThe perfect valentines gift set for menâ
âMaria?â I chocked out, and just as before marker showed up on the paper. And there next to the ad a heart with a smiley face inside. One like Maria always made.
I couldnât decide to freak out and throw the paper, cry, there where to many emotions, and to try to calm myself by leaning back and trying to forget everything I just saw.
Thatâs when I felt something fall on my lap, a note pad. Writing scribbling on it.
âIâve moved on Frankie and so should youâ it said in Mariaâs delicate hand writing.
âWith whoâ I say to an empty room. And once again there are words Being written.
âBillyâ it said simply. My mind raced, not sure to be pissed or not. Billy make my life hell. Damn he helped kill them.
More scratching on the pad
âI know how heâs hurt all of us Frankie but I still love him as you should. That is the past my love itâs time to move on. Now stop being a dick and go get your man a gift, flowers and make him dinner. â
And with that the notebook closed and went back to the desk. The newest pages still on his lap. The ghost writing still there.
Taking in a deep breath I swear, put the pieces of paper in my pocket, grab the keys that Matt left me. And went and bought a wallet and cologne set. Flowers. Chocolate. And went to the grocery store and bought dinner ingredients.
I thought for sure he would beat me home. But luck was on my side.
âYou still hereâ I ask in a voice that sounded way more shaky than I meant it too.
And in answer the notebook flew to the counter, flipped open and wrote down the instructions for the meal I had planned.
I growled. Every year she did that. Even though she knew I knew the recipe by heart.
I could swear I heard her beautiful laughter but chose to ignore it.
I cursed as candles appeared on the table as I was finishing Setting it. But the candles it wasnât how Maria set them it was how Billy did. And the words âIâm sorryâ appeared on a napkin. Taking the napkin I put it in my pocket. I would deal with those feelings later.
Especially as I hear the door opening.
âIs that candlelight, dinner, and a bottle of good champagne I smell?â
âIt sure it redâ I say going over to him and helping him with his jacket.
Before taking him to the table I wrap my arms around him and kiss him passionately âI.. I love youâ
I watched as his cheeks reddened. And as the two ghosts behind him smiled and disappeared. Though I figures that wasnât the last I would see if them.
Taking Matt by the hand I lead him to the table and sit him down and fix his plate. I knew he didnât need me too but my manly ego did. And as I sat down across from him
âI love you too.: and from the smell of it we both got each other the same gift boxâ
I couldnât help but laugh, he did as well as we dove into our food and he told me how the case was going.
After dinner I put on some classical music and pulled him in for a dance, which he was surprisingly good at.
âIs it wrong I love the smell of your vestâ he says kissing my neck
âIs it wrong I just want to take you into that bedroom and fuck you till you canât moveâ
âNot at allâ he moans. Picking him up I carry him into the room kicking the door shut behind me. Laying him on the bed I showed him everything the punisher was good at
