#maths phobia

I have always been good at English(you cant tell by looking at my blog posts but hey this is the internet and im lazy on my phone) writing has always been my thing but I have always been scared of maths. At least I am good at one thing sigh. I am currently researching math phobia and math anxiety. everything makes so much more sense to me now. When I was younger I had shit teachers who were not always the most patient and my parents didn't help as they'd be prone to snapping at me. I was always too scared and/or embarrassed because I thought that it made me dumb. The thing is is that I KNOW that I can do maths if I am under no pressure, doing it on my own terms and if I am able to concentrate. I think my problem is that due to my fear of maths as a kid I would find ways to be able to not do maths or just no pay attention and I feel that the topics I am rusty on is making me very limited in my understanding of maths. I plan to study independently teaching myself to chill out and to actually do maths so i can fucking pass my exam in may. Anyone else suffer from this?