#math content

I left my position as a mathematics content specialist yesterday.  Today, I give them the key and complete the offboarding procedures of the company to finalize my disengagement with them.  In addition to that, I’m planning on submitting a document which will help my former supervisor in taking over my work, although I doubt she needs much assistance from me. I have mixed feelings about this.  The contract was supposed to be reworked on January 27th, but they decided to do so on Tuesday.  I was a bit shocked by the sudden change in the contract details and I ultimately didn’t agree with it, so I made the decision to leave.  It was one of the toughest career decisions I’ve had to make, but I knew it ultimately wasn’t beneficial for what I wanted to do.  The company in question taught me immensely and I’ll take those values wherever I go, so I’m very happy about my choice to take the position overall.  That being said, certain aspects of my job were being limited, bit by bit, but it was understandable.  I was a contract worker by default and my work changed, depending on the needs of the company.  It wasn’t so much a question of money, but a question of what I thought was beneficial for my career.  I could spend the next month doing this work, being paid at a different/lower rate, knowing full well that it would stop and there would be no definitive future, or I could stop to focus on my school work and improving other facets of my life.  The decision, I reiterate, was painful to make.  I consulted my parents -- my father assisted me extensively -- and I made the heart wrenching decision to depart. Financially, I’ve been able to save up money and I feel that I’ll be ok.  I’m just saddened by the course of events, though.  Part of me is regretful of my decision to leave because I would’ve left something “undone” and I’ve only done that once in my life when I was nine years old, playing baseball on the little league team and I quit because of a temper tantrum I had.  I vowed to never do that again if it was in my power, yet here I am.  I also feel extremely guilty; I feel as if I left the company just when it needed my work the most, in a way.  That being said, I also know that my work was slowly being taken over by my supervisor.  I felt as if I was being phased out.  That played a role in my decision to leave; I felt as if my usefulness was being questioned. I also felt that I blurred the lines between contractor & employee.  This was the first time I worked under a “contract.”  Previously, I was paid as a part time or full time employee.  I would go to dinners with them, drink beer, share stories about myself and my family, open up, et cetera.  When I saw the finalized contract, I painfully realized that I really was just a contract worker.  More and more, the option to ‘’just work from home’’ kept coming up in conversation and I took it as a clue.  I felt dissatisfied with my place in work.  Ego also played a small part.  I’m at a certain point in my life where I want a bit more leeway, a bit more power over my choices; more autonomy, really.  I suppose that’s because I’m in my late 20s, so I’m used to doing things in a certain way. I don’t regret joining the company, however.  I met some extremely interesting people, engaged in some smart and dynamic work, and I had a wonderful time for the most part.  It was distressing at times and I learned a lot about myself under pressure, how I work and what’s the best environment for me.