#master zho

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so i couldn't sleep and went back to thinking about my lost suns redraw/rewrite project, hashed out some first passes drafting designs for the trio between taking notes on the plot and dialogue.

I’ll add a correction to my comments:  a combination of trauma and self-flagellation and potential Empire activity caused Zho to have a scrambled head.

This is a spin-off of my post on Satele and her choices.  When did Zho know about Theron?  And did he do anything the help the kid in advance of leaving him at Haashimut? 

By the way, if you’ve never read the Lost Suns comic, whatever you do, don’t click this link.  Ahem. (cough cough)

Inquiring minds want to know your headcanon. 

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My ideas:  Zho was concerned by the time Theron was 9 that the Force wasn’t responding to him.  Maybe he was a late-bloomer -- stay the course, don’t even suggest that there was a problem.  Zho had procrastinated on telling Theron because the boy had to be sensitive -- heir of Revan, son of Satele, grandson of Tarsiele. 

By the time Theron was 13, the War ended and the Empire won.   Zho felt needed elsewhere -- I haven’t decided if there was an actual top secret mission from Jedi Council or he just went off quixotically. (Theron did say he was “never reliable” in Lost Suns -- what gave him that impression by the time he was 13? And yet he wants Master Zho “to be proud” in SWTOR. Such a complicated relationship, so many ways to interpret this.)

Maybe Zho thought the problem was him.  Kid with that sort of lineage had to be sensitive -- he must be the problem, not Theron.  Zho didn’t have the courage to even propose the idea to Theron and talk about either potential.

Alternatively, we also might consider this description from Theron in Annihilation, p. 116 in hardback: “In his few weeks at the [Jedi] academy, he’d experienced enough of the unintentional but unmistakable self-righteous superiority of the Jedi to last a life time.”  I assume he’s referring to Haashimut, right after Zho disappeared.  That experience in close proximity to Zho’s depature might have tinted his retrospective view of Zho and his actions, who wanted to pretend all was well with Theron.

And maybe there’s some element of truth in that. Please note this isn’t an anti-Jedi/Sith remark.  There are some Force users we do encounter in SWTOR that treat Jedi/Sith differently compared to non-Force Users, and there also Force users that are very full of themselves because of their status.  If we choose to interpret Zho as having that same flaw, then Zho might have believed he knew what was best for the boy, Force sensitive or not.  He raised him, he’s his father, how dare anyone else tell him how to raise his child, regardless of the long-term impact on Theron.

The end result is the same with any interpretation: Zho sent Theron to Haashimut.  The child almost didn’t survive the journey and then got the shock of being told by a stranger that he didn’t belong there. 

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In the words of Teff’ith, “Now we get why Theron’s so messed up.”  There are many questions about Zho and his intent and his justifications -- which he could never provide, and Theron himself recognized that...but that doesn’t mean Theron was at rest with what what he referred to as “childhood trauma” -- which wasn’t caused by Satele or Jace or their absence, necessarily, but by Zho’s departure.  Ngani was the only father Theron had ever known until Jace entered his life at 26...which is far too late for ‘parenting’ to take place. 

For as long as Theron could remember, the words “Wait for me” had been written across his forearm, invisible to any eyes but his own. When he had childishly asked Master Zho about it after learning to finally read, the old Jedi had told him that the Force had chosen a soulmate for him, and those were the last words of that soulmate that Theron would hear. 

Theron’s next innocent question had been if Master Zho had any words written on him. That got a cough and an incoherent mutter before he was sent to go do more meditation exercises.

By the time he was 15, he was jaded and angry enough to give up on the idea of a soulmate ever really existing. “Wait for me”, pfft. The hell type of last words are those, anyway?

It didn’t stop him from flinching somewhat every time he heard “Wait for me!” being spoken around him, even if it wasn’t directed at him.

He had almost forgotten about the words when Master Taerich walked into his and Darok’s planning room. Truthfully, he still didn’t think about it until after he, Lana, and Jakarro and Dee-Four had made it to Rishi intact and settled into the safehouse. 

As he had stripped down to shower, the words on his arm caught his gaze for the first time in weeks. Wait for me. This time, he swore he heard the pretty Jedi’s voice in his head saying that.

Impossible. She’s a Jedi! They don’t... Jedi don’t have soulmates! Theron stubbornly shook his head and tried to banish that terrifying thought from his mind. His forearm was red from scrubbing by the time he finally finished his shower, the words still displayed tauntingly on his skin.

I've seen a lot of discussion about Theron's issues with his mother, but even though it emotionally hurts, he sees the logic in it and can accept it.  It's not easy.  He can also understand and accept Malcom's reactions and decisions.  It's for the Greater Good (Republic, Jedi, the free galaxy as we know it, etc.) .

I don't think we ever see in canon Master Zho ever giving Theron a heads up about anything that happened surrounding his departure, Theron's lack of the Force, or the Treaty of Coruscant  -- not in the Lost Suns comic, anyway.  I'm playing around with the idea that maybe Satele isn't the source of Theron's attachment issues -- rather, it's Zho.  Zho knew Theron better than Satele or Jace did as a child, and then he still decided to leave him at age 13.  It's one thing to make a decision without getting to know the child or never have the option.  It's another to raise a kid for 13 years and leave with no forwarding address. 

So here’s  a Father’s Day Fic that hashes some of that out.  This does fit in my Corellian Whiskey and Sullustan Gin universe, but it’s not required reading, can stand alone, and doesn’t feature the romantic leads.