#maryc

For background information, I’m a teenage girl who lives in America, I’m definitely not 100% straight (I’ll get into that later), and I have so many repressed feelings.

Tonight (it’s 1:46am) I’ve been laying awake worrying. I’ve been dating this guy for about two months, and I’ve been wrestling with the idea of breaking up with him for some time. Half of the time he makes me feel really happy and special and all that jazz but the other half of the time I don’t feel anything.

Like, sometimes I’ll forget he exists for a day and a half. I’m pretty introverted so we don’t talk all the time, but aside from school, he’s basically the only person I talk to. I don’t text or message or dm anyone for days on end, and he’s the only exception. But again, I literally forget he exists.

I also might just be horny, but I think I have a crush on a girl. Maybe? Fuckfuckfuck im typing this out and I sound so horrible. I’ve been thinking about making out with one of my other friends for about an hour. Uggghhhhhhh I don’t know why. I think I’m having a bisexual awakening but I don’t know. I honestly have no idea what’s happening inside my head right now.

I’m going through some weird stuff right now and I don’t feel super comfortable with my current support system and for the most part, tumblr has been a safe place for me to like and reblog whatever I connect with :)

ba:zel RMX

It was a pleasure to remix ba:zeal’s track Pace.

Check the whole EP with remixes by Dizzcock, JTNB, Stanislav Abrahám aka Lovenius and Gašper Šantl. 

I’m sitting in Mary’s living room floor and it feels like I’m in a different time zone. It feels like I’m five years younger and we’re sleeping in her parents house.

Funny how life keeps going but some things never seem to change.