#mars-chars

Well something that immediately came to mind when reading this is:

Gendervoid: A gender identity defined by absence, a blank space or void where a gender might otherwise be.

But I don’t like giving only one suggestion so here are some more that sound close to what you described:

Mniofirin: A gender which encompasses the void but is filled with all. (Masculine form of  Mnioct)

Agender: An identity under the nonbinary and transgender umbrella terms. Agender individuals find that they have no gender identity.

Gendercosm: A gender identity encompassing and surpassing the limits of the earth/society, but doesn’t incorporate existing genders from society; a gender identity so grand and huge it cannot be explained by words.

Nonpuer or Nonvir: Someone who is not male at all in any way, shape, or form, but feels a strong connection to masculinity within their gender.

And some male-aligned ones too just in case they help:

Boyprox- An identity that exists “near to” male; a Boyprox person might feel a connection to boyness and/or boyhood, even if they do not strictly feel “male”.

Homproche: Near or Approaching Male. A gender expression that is Masculine, despite a gender identity that is not. An identity where one’s gender expression is an integral part of one’s queer experience.

Mingender: Umbrella term for all genders masculine in nature. Also a term to refer to a gender that isn’t fully defined but definitely masculine, or a gender in which masculinity is its defining feature (but the gender is not binary male). May simply be used as “min”, ie. “my gender is min”.

Solarian: a nonbinary, masculine-aligned identity; a Solarian person feels very little connection to the gender binary, but a slight connection to masculinity or maleness.

But something that seems to be tripping you up a bit is the fact that you want to express in a masculine way, but are not male? So let me just say that is 100% valid. The way you express your gender (ex: weather you dress masculine or feminine, your name and pronouns, even your body and if you choose to transition or not) is completely separate from your gender identity it’self. I know that grasping that concept can be kind of tricky, it took me a while to do so myself, but once I did and realized that I don’t have to identify as male to transition or present in a masculine way, it was so much easier to come to terms with my gender.