#marmalisation

i knew that big spider machine in the center of the ride was the ministry of joy's ultimate way of making people happy but goddamn it looks like it aches people up a bunch of notches

no i marmalised myself

Wow! This is the best I’ve ever seen the hypnosis spell work! And after having not used it in so long, to boot!

But then again, it isn’t actually supposed to work this way. The hypnosis spell hasn’t ever done this before. All it’s supposed to do is put the targets into a trance.

I wonder if I accidentally mixed the hypnosis spell together with the mind-control spell. I haven’t used that one in a long time, either. Also, unlike the hypnosis spell, which can be cast on a group, the mind-control spell is only supposed to work on one target at a time.

That. Freaking. Roller coaster. Is terrifying. 😳 And this is coming from someone who’s never even been to the UK before. If I were to visit Alton Towers Resort, then getting through airport security, boarding a plane to fly across the Atlantic Ocean, and then dealing with the jet lag after the flight would only be the first set of hurdles. The REAL challenge, of course, would be mustering up the courage to ride the Smiler itself. Why? Well, unlike my more daring older brother, I’ve never had the guts to go on a roller coaster that went upside-down. And the Smiler? It goes upside-down more times than any other roller coaster in the world! 😱 How would a pansy like me ever be able to handle riding through 14 loop-de-loops without losing my lunch?!

The roller coaster itself aside, its way-too-catchy theme music is still stuck in my head. I think I saw that eerie smile logo in my dreams last night, too.

The results from that weird “test” I took on their website said that I was 55% suitable for marmalisation, which is what being brainwashed by the roller coaster is referred to as. I don’t know what marmalade has to do with being forcefully made happy against one’s will, but either way...

I took the test again, and my score went up to 77%.

What was supposed to be a Smiler-themed sketch dump turned into a silly little comic about me having an unfortunate run-in with a crowd of smiling advocates.

...Or did I? O_o Maybe it was all in my head...?

Everything I know about the Marmaliser elements, written in my own words.

Based on official canon, with some educated speculation.

Results will vary subject to subject. All elements have been positioned to be of benefit to the other elements and aid in the Marmalisation process.

Stage 1: The Inoculator. Joy serum is injected into the subject. The desired effect here is simply a “jab of happiness” - a feeling of euphoria. This calms the subject down so the process can be initiated correctly.

Stage 2: The Tickler. Aims to tickle the subject until they can’t resist smiling. Effects may vary subject to subject - some subjects will be naturally resistant to tickling. Works best in conjunction with Joy serum, hence its placement.

Stage 3: The Flasher. Flashes rapidly with the aim to disorientate and confuse the subject. This makes it harder for them to resist the other elements. The effect will also produce temporary blindness and make it almost impossible for the subject to judge when the Giggler will be used, so they cannot judge when to hold their breath.

Stage 4: The Giggler. Aims to make the subject laugh through the use of laughing gas and induce even more of a euphoric feeling.

I have to say that it was very clever to have the hypnotizer be the last part of it. Because, if you think about it, having the hypnotizer come after the other four parts maximizes its effectiveness.

If it was first or second, then you might, at that point, still have the sense to look away from it, or at least be able to stop yourself from falling into a trance. But since it comes last, you don’t get to it until after you’ve been subjected to the other four parts of the Marmaliser. So by the time you do reach the hypnotizer, you’ll be too high, disoriented, and weak from laughter to resist it.