#markvillar

Truth: I don't remember a moment in my life when Kuya drifted away from music and art. Kuya was always drawn to the guitar- he played with Papa's Yamaha, and joined on some occassions as a chubby 10 year old boy the band rehearsals of our Tito Adam. Our Kuya has a huge influence in our lives, and perhaps this also explains why we developed our hobbies around music and art - he tried to teach me toplay the keyboards and when he found I was not as interested, he asked me to sing along to the new songs he learned to play (and eventually, the new songs he learned to write) - "Chinggay, kantahin mo nga 'to". He taught Chad to play the bass, Melvin to play the drums, encouraged Alessa to play the violin, and on occassions when we did not show interest, he would write a song for and/or about us, like the blues rock he dedicated to Andong (who instead of taking up music, took up drawing - which Kuya did too). For me, he was always going to be in the music scene. He made brave and rational choices to pursue this path even in trying times: he was famous for many things in our school, School of Saint Anthony Lagro, Quezon City, like sports, arts, and leadership, but he was always going to be remembered as the "guitar man"; he quit computer engineering to study audio engineering. There was a time when he was employed in a company that was unrelated to music but paid more to support us and I thought he was going to stay there - but he took a leap of faith and worked hard to be with his current employer of half a decade now, Hit Productions Inc. so he can start doing something he was good at. (I will never forget that day - we took the FX together from Antipolo to Makati to apply for jobs. We parted in Buendia). Growing up, I imagined he was going to be a rockstar, that he would write and sing songs that people will sing, I thought I was going to have a brother who was famous in the likes of the bands I actually admire. When we grew up, we had to be practical, and all the fame and romance attached to the idea of becoming a rockstar subsided. I thought that was the end of music writing for him, that music will be sidelined and become just one of the things he does. But he became more. He became more and did more. He internalized the process of songwriting, sound technique, and polished his ears to be golden. He focused on polishing form and content through his work as an audio engineer, which is largely supported by his environment. He would always tell me about the admirable managers, mentors, musicians, and peers he works with in our exchanges. He internalized the process of songwriting, he treated is as a form of conversation that went deeper than just writing to express feelings. We’ve been having on and off conversations (that were admittedly idealistic) about intellectual revolution for the Philippines. I was speaking in abstracted language that was not immediately accessible, he focused on making things accessible and understandable. Last March, I received an email from him for a demo of a song he was going to submit to PhilPop. He called it the ‘best Tagalog song’ he has written yet. I expected it to be along the lines of nationalism, of calling to question certain things that need to be questioned. I did not expect a song of longing for a love that cannot be actualized – it initially felt like it was cliché. But I listened to the song . The version he sent me was the raw copy where he did the vocals for the male part, and one of his friends sang the female part. I was stomping my feet, immediately picked up the lyrics, and thought of all the possible vantage points from which his song can be applied. He wrote a piece that was as universal as love – but was equally as controversial. I was thinking of the many people unable to actualize their love for another because of constraining variables such as time, space, culture. I was thinking of Picasso and his young wife, of a friend who cannot openly admit that he is in love with another who happens to be of the same gender, of a Tita who grew old alone because of a love lost in time. I was having an internal debate on right versus wrong, on the purity of love, on when did it come to a point when something as beautiful as love can even be wrong because of social labels and structures we’ve placed in it? And right at that moment, I smiled and remembered what he told me in one of our conversations, “I think one of the first steps to an intellectual revolution is to shake people up a bit and make them question. Start a conversation that hits closest to home.” Tomorrow, his song gets to be shared nationally under the banner of Philippine Pop Music - he will be heind the scenes, as talented interpreters Nadine Lustre and kean ciprianowill sing his song.. This is how he starts his conversation with the Filipino people. Kudos to you, Kuya. I only wish you the best. You already won for me, and I cannot wait for the many more songs you will write for the Filipino people.