#markhotppus

Hot.

Burning. Boiling. Scorching. Blistering.

It is fucking hot.

I could feel the sweat dripping down my back, forming pools through my shirt. Maybe it was a bad idea to wear fucking jeans in Brazil when it is 102 degrees outside. What was I thinking?

I pushed my long bangs out of my eyes. I was waiting for Mark outside our hotel so that we could go to a nearby local street market to do some sightseeing. Travis wanted to stay in his hotel room to relax and that is perfectly fine with us. We just did a show yesterday and it felt fantastic being on stage again. I feel alive when I am on stage.

I feel alive when I am with him.

As if answering my thoughts, a pairs of arms suddenly wrapped around my waist. I immediately recognised those beautiful tanned arms.

“Hey babe,” he whispered into my ears, sending tingles all down my body. Even after all these years, I still feel like a teenage girl around him.

“Hey yourself,” I pried his arms away from my waist. As much as I will love those arms to be around me forever, we are in public. And that means we can’t be ourselves.

He gave me a sad pout when his arms left my body. I gave him a knowing smile and he sighed dejectedly.

“I just wish everything was different …” his bright blue eyes looked sad and it physically pained me to see him like this.

“Me too Mark, me too…” it was my turn to sigh now. We had discussed about our situation so many times now, I have lost count.

The last time we discussed about it was yesterday night, actually. Mark was in bed with me. He does have his own hotel room, but he doesn’t even need it anyway because he always sleeps with me. We have to do it all in secrecy though, which makes it fun. We were just lying in bed, with the air conditioner on full blast because of the damn heat. We were too tired after the show so we decided to have an early night. I was about to drift off to sleep when Mark’s beautiful voice interrupted the silence.

“Maybe we should just come out Tom,” I opened my eyes and could barely see him in the dark. The moonlight was embracing his tanned body, making him look so godly, so beautiful. I could tell he was chewing his lips nervously.

“Mark, think about our children. You love Jack and I love my kids. We will never get them if we come out,” my marriage with Jen has become stale. I still love her, but not the way as I used to. I know Mark’s and Skye’s marriage is the same too.

What a pity, after all these years of devotion, those vows turned out to be empty words. But it was never meant to be.

We were meant to be.

“So, you are just staying together for the kids?” his mocking words came out spiteful, and it hurt.

“Mark, are you telling me you are willing to lose Jack for me?” I tried to be reasonable. I had spent many nights thinking of a way around this, but nothing works. Nothing will work. I love my kids too much and I know he love Jack too.

“Tom, you are worth everything. Even if that means …” he did not finish his sentence. He did not need to.

We fell asleep eventually, his words still lingering in the air.

“Come on Tom, let’s go!” his voice pulled me back to the present. I smiled at him, and we started walking. The sun was burning me and Mark noticed my discomfort.

“Why must you wear jeans?” he laughed at me.

“I always wear jeans,” I answered sulkily. I looked at his pair of shorts enviously, cursing myself for not packing some. I would not have been able to pull it off anyway. Not like I used to when I was younger. “Are you sure you know where we are going?”

“Yeah, the dude at the reception gave me directions. Relax Tommy, we’re on a date, remember?” he winked at me, before daringly squeezing my ass.

We continued walking for the next ten minutes before finally reaching the market. It was full of people and bursting with energy. I spotted a drink store and could feel myself making my way to it.

“Tom, I am just going to the toilet for a second. Wait here, I do not want to lose you,” he said while we were queuing in line.

“Mark, I am 37 years old, not 16.”

“Tom, you will forever be the 16 year old idiot I fell in love with,” he grinned at me before walking away.

I ordered mango juices for me and Mark and was waiting for them to be made. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulders and turned around to face a teenage girl with faded pink hair looking up to me. She has a lip ring that reminded me so much of my old one. She was wearing a blink shirt and a blink hat. Her face was a mixture of excitement and fear. She looked like she was about to faint at any time now.

“Oh my god ... oh my god … oh my god…” she mumbled to herself, trying to fight her nerves. “Hello Tom!”

The best part of my job is the fans. Without them, I would have never lasted this long. Sure, I love making music, but the fans make it all worth it.

I gave her a huge smile. I don’t know what, but there was something about her that reminded me of my youth.

“Hello, what is your name?”

“My name is Mich,” I noticed her holding a crumpled piece of paper and I was curious to see what was on it. “Oh my god, when Mark said that you will be here, I did not expect to find you so easily!”

Mark? Oh yeah, he must have sent out a tweet before he left the hotel. Mark with his Twitter addiction …

“Well, the advantage of being 6 foot 4. Do you want to take a picture or sign something?” as much as I love meeting fans, I hope she will get the message that I want to spend some alone time with Mark.

“Can I get a picture please? Also, can you sign my hat?” she produced a silver marker pen and I obliged.

“Did you come to the show yesterday?” I handed her hat back.

“Yes! I was right at the front. Probably the best concert ever!” I couldn’t help but smile at her compliment. That’s when I noticed the tattoo on her left wrist.

L)VE

“Cool tattoo you got there!”

“Thank you!” she started blushing profusely. “Can we take a picture?”

I nodded. She passed a camera to her friend, who I only just noticed to be standing there awkwardly. She showed me the piece of paper that she had been clinging on for dear life ever since I seen her. There, in big black bold letters, a short phrase shouted at everyone who will give it attention.

TOMARK EXISTS

I could feel my heart quicken, my breathes becoming shorter.

Shit.

I knew about this “Tomark” thing. I mean, who wouldn’t? It’s all over the Internet. People will tweet me asking when I will tell everyone about my gay relationship with Mark. There are comments on my Facebook page, our Youtube channel and I even received emails from fans telling me that they knew about us. I have been on forums, where people described in great details about the evidence they have collected from videos and interviews. I have even read bloody fan fictions, for goodness sakes.

There were some that made me cry, because it reminded me of those years where we were not together. They were some that made me super horny and it filled my lonely nights. They were some that described my emotions towards Mark so accurately, that I wonder whether the people who wrote these even knew how close they were.

Sadly, the fans were right, of course. So damn right.

I gave a small giggle, feeling my cheeks becoming flushed by the minute. I hope she won’t notice how nervous I became.

“I hope you don’t mind,” she started getting jumpy, perhaps thinking I would be mad at her. “Do you know what it means?”

I nodded my head slowly, hoping not to give away too much.

“Do you want to wait for Mark?” I tried to deter her from the bloody paper. Where is Mark, anyway? He knew how to handle this increasingly awkward situation.

“Mark!!!” she shrieked in delight as she suddenly spotted Mark making his way towards us. He smiled and gave her a hug when Mich ran up to him. I heaved a sigh of relief, grateful that he is here with me now.

After Mark signed her hat, she showed him her sign. He immediately started laughing, already reacting better towards those two words than I did.

“So, um can we take a picture with this? I promised some of my friends,” she looked at the both of us hopefully.

“Sure, why not,” Mark gave me a quick smile, reassuring me that everything will be fine.

Its okay Tom, they don’t know the truth. Stop freaking out, you fucktard.

Mich stood in between the both of us, holding the paper up. I tried to pass a genuine smile. Right at the last minute, Mark turned his head and gave me a peck on my cheek. I blinked, not sure what just happened in those ten seconds.

“Thanks guys for – oh my god!” she started screaming excitedly when her friend showed her the picture. Mark’s kiss was caught in it; he was smiling with his lips pressed against my skin, his eyes were closed. I stood there, looking like a dork with the biggest grin ever. You could tell it was love, if you were looking closely. And now, that moment is caught forever in her camera.

“This is the best thing ever! Thank you! Have a great day!” she started running away from us, obviously jumping from the huge success of her trip.

“Why did you do that?” I asked when my senses came back to me and I could finally move.

“Because,” his vague answer wasn’t satisfying.

“Because what?”

“Because I can,” he gave me another kiss, this time on my lips. It was a short and fleeting kiss, but I could feel my knees weakening.

He gave me my mango juice that I completely forgot, grabbed his, held my hand and started walking. We spent the rest of the day like that, completely in bliss that we could be ourselves. It was a simple day, but it is the simple days that are the best. We did not worry about our problems or our lives; we just enjoyed each other’s company, each other’s love.