#markast

but then he says “i spit in your general direction” and inien, ashe, and gregor collectively realize at the same time “OH SHIT” and try to stop markus from acid spitting on ballast and his literature

Another day of BEES VALENTINES THINGY!

Let's be real here, when Markus had heard that the cafe was a bit different he wasn't expecting the place to be decorated like a cowboy's wet dream. There were fucking saddles hanging from the wall! But, he was recommended this place by Thog and he knew Thog would never lead him astary. He took off his satchel and placed it down onto one of those old-timey bar stools which then made an uneasy creaking sound. Was this place even safe to be in? He shook his head. It was going to be fine, he pat his satchel softly hoping it wouldn't break the chair and headed to the counter. On the counter stood a little bell but no living being or even a dead one, surprisingly, was there. He leaned over the counter a bit to see if he could spot anyone but all he could see was the hem of a terrible looking purple hat. He stood up straight and looked down at the bell. Was there seriously no one here? Would riging the bell even work? Well there's no knowing if you don't try. He tapped the bell and almost chuckled at the weak and tiny ting it made. It was so pathetic. He looked over the counter again and noticed that the terrible hat had shifted to show off a not so terrible looking man wearing it. The mystery man looked straight at Markus from behind a corner, he sighed deeply and walked out from behind the wall. He grabbed an apron off a hook and walked forward while he tied it to his waist. The man cleared his throat and spoke in a voice that seemed to smug and cocky for a guy wearing an apron that said 'Coffee Cowboy.' "Aaaaaay guuuuuurrll, what can I get you?" Markus sort of reeled back, he looked the man up and down trying to figure out if he really just said that. Was this real? Was this guy serious? "What, you too stunned by my beauty to talk? Happens a lot, don't worry." He grinned and winked at Markus. A very insufferable grin and wink. "I was more stunned by the fact you bother to refer that mess you call a face beautiful." Markus winked back with a grin showing off his weirdly sharp canines. "My bad, it's gorgeous. Now, what do you want?" He leaned forward on the counter looking up at Markus with a cocky smile. "I'll have an espresso with a hint of cinnamon, a smidgen of skim milk, no foam, extra hot. You got all that?" Markus leaned forward as well copying his expression. The man stopped and his face went blank, he looked Markus up and down like he couldn't comprehend what he just said. "What, you too stunned by my beauty to talk?" He put a hand on his hip as his smile became a shit eating grin. "Of course not, guuurl, let me go get you your coffee." He stood up straight and swiveled around to go get it prepared. He stopped halfway before turning back around. "And what happens to be your name?" Markus snorted as he shook his head. "Markus Velafi, but just call me Markus." He nodded and turned back around to go make his drink. Markus watched him leave and walked back to his seat, he pulled his satchel off of the stool and sat down. He pulled his laptop out of his bag and started typing away at a paper he had to have done in a week or so. He had gotten a lot done by the time he saw a cup being placed in front of him, he was about to mumble a thank you when a muffin was placed beside it. He looked up pulling a hand off of his keyboard to point at it. "I didn't ord-" "It's on the house, Markus." The guy rolled his eyes and turned to leave. Markus grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. "Why don't you share it with me, it's the least I can do to thank you." "Sure thing gurl." He pulled a stool from a different table and placed it beside Markus'. Markus grabbed his coffee and took a sip, he glanced over at the guy beside him, he looked anxious and was staring straight at him. "What?" "Nothing, nothing at all." He quickly looked away and stared at bell on the far off counter." "Ok, weirdo." He placed the coffee cup down but raised a brow as he noticed the sleeve slip out a bit. He noticed the beginnings of something written in permanent marker. He grabbed pulled the sleeve up higher and noticed a name, number and few more words. 'The name's Ballast, call me' Markus chuckled and pulled his phone out from his pocket, he dialed the number and turned to look at Ballast. Ballast jumped as his phone began ringing, he pulled it out of his pocket and looked down at it. Huh, he didn't recognize this number. He picked up and waited for them to say something. "Hi, Ballast. Thanks for the muffin by the way." Markus smirked as he jumped and swiveled around in his chair to look at him. "No problem. Maybe I'll give you something else when you come by." Ballast stared at Markus as he spoke into his phone. "I'm looking forward to it." And after that day Markus would go to that terrible looking cafe, see that terrible looking hat and the not so terrible looking man and he would order a espresso with a hint of cinnamon, a smidgen of skim milk, no foam, extra hot.

~ As pinned by the traveling bard Rick Astley.

Blame @pyxu for more markast content. But the ashefiri stuff is cute ngl

A pisspoor excuse of a "funny comic"