#mark posts

i literally cant sleep and it’s been like two days 😩 but hi haha i’ve been gone for a bit and decided to officially (ig idk) return :D

og: @yanlee

og nct bot: @xxmarkleex

og uni/ college bot: lmk so i can tag them!

It’s getting cold outside... 

He really should shut the window but he can’t bring himself to move from the armchair he’s been settled in for 3 hours now just staring off into the space beyond the wall.  Playing games with his friends lately has been real fun, most fun he’s had in a really long time, but there’s this sense of dread almost a foreboding. It wont last.  Any time he’s happy it all comes crumbling down like sand.  Someone somewhere will have it out for him. Something will happen, it always does. His past will catch up to him and once again he’ll be forced to move along to try and outrun it. Never quite able to get fully away. 

So here he sits... Lost in his thoughts, cold but unwilling to move and wondering where the day went wrong.  It’s common lately... This feeling of emptiness. He knows it well.  Soon enough it’ll turn into confusion, then frustration, then anger and then numbness. That’s usually about the time a body shows up but hey, the first path to growth is learning your pattern right?

His eyes finally snap away from the wall and down to his hand as his fingers curl, uncurl, curl, uncurl in slow rhythm, he matches it to his breathing, and with each breath the fist gets tight.. tighter... TIGHTER until he could strangle someone with it- and then he stops. Shakes it off. Gets to his feet finally and closes the window. 

Readjusting the folds of the red silk robe to properly cover himself again he stares out the window at the yard. Dark an empty just like his poor broken heart.  With a sigh he shifts away and proceeds to head for his office. Maybe some late night editing will help? Maybe a late night stream? Just a chill... just a chat.. yeah. That sounded nice. 

Once everything was set up he settled into his seat still in his robe and adjusted the camera before hitting LIVE. One by one viewers trickle in at various points of him just saying hi and explaining its just a chat. 

“Heeey welcome, come on in sit down, get your blanket and your hot chocolate, we’re just- ah we’re just chillin, lil late night chillin. How you all doin?” 

Most of the stream is spent him just talking about random things, answering questions and comments in the chat, fussing with the music cos he’s being picky, or mulling over past projects and what went into them. 

Something’s not entirely right though as the stream goes on...