#marginal overflow

I need you guys to tell me if you’ve had any similar beciase I don’t wanna feel alone on this

-A sex ed assembly in a Catholic school where the person said “sex is lowkey something you just do for fun” when the kid trying to define it said union of tje flesh after marriage😭 and then they grabbed one of the tough boys and put duct tape on their arm and yanked it off again and again and again saying “And this one is Kimberly.. Teresa.. May” no one laughed

I also don’t understand discourse coming from a place of anger? I don’t know while to express it. I’m trying I listen tia jury music all the time so that it can balance out and I’m neutral and not living above my head instead of in my head or in my body. I think living in my body and not away from my mind is far too intimate and respect to anyone who can do that. Like your center of awareness being in the body you have.

But.. like everything is a performance on and offline. You kind of have to hype up your emotions first on purpose (omg it makes me seem psycho) if you want to get anything out. I can’t milk a stone but I can, with effort, rub my sweaty hands all over it and call it wet. Like.. how do you get angry? It doesn’t flow out of my brain or my body. I get frustrated though. I think it just plays on my mind.

An older guy (younger than my parents but WAY older than a friend) said to me that he likes to push my buttons, to see if I get angry

I feel that the button is there on the surface but it’s one of those fidget buttons. Like you press a button and it clicks duh because the that’s the sound buttons make or switches but they don’t fit the metaphor…-

But the button is there and it clicks and nothing turns on or off and then the little rats realise it does fuck all and they press something else.

Like.. I don’t think I can even mimic anger. I had to do something a couple years ago where I had to be angry and it was so difficult, I just had to copy what I see others get angry there was nothing. You dig a hole to find the joke is already dug and your spade is swimming the air and you can’t pull up any more soil because there was no soil in the whole hole.

I find that the ideal where I am (UK) is a strawberry. First choice fruit, Victoria sponge aesthetic, you know these people. Nuclear family but not always. It isn’t even a class thing or a race thing.

Apples are strong and have a good sense of morals.

Bananas are mellow and yellow but their seeds aren’t where you expect them so they barely seem to be a fruit if you don’t look close enough.

Im a raspberry, which is sweet but can be quite tart and then sometimes they come out quite mushy?

I can keep going I promise.

Tomatoes and cucumbers and peppers aren’t considered to be fruits but they are, they win the race by not being in it. Why do they hide their seeds and their prof tjat they are a fruit?

Rhubarb is a fruit now I’m too tired to care. It grows and grows and needs something else to make it sweet.

Blueberries are class toppers and are always organised, they look like they do yoga or spirituality stuff but they don’t due to antioxidants

If you resonate with being an Orange DNI

Lemons are interesting. Why do you have that reputation? Why do people think you’re sour? In small doses you make dishes taste alright

Lime is the lemon with no reputation or are you just not ripe enough?