i light a cigarette as rain trickles down the sidewalk, it smells like rain and carbon monoxide poisoning but i’m not bothered, it’s dark out, noir in a shade that reflects how i feel inside, which is rather happy but dark. crimes are ARRAY in the city of Philadelphia, and it is my job, PROBLEM SLEUTH to commit and solve them. i light a cigarette
a person seems to be walking in the opposite direction of me. i can tell it is a person and not a water bottle or a sneaky rat because he is clearly standing on two legs unlike the three a end table sometimes stands on. i raise my brow at him and light three more cigarettes, chewing on the tobacco between my teeth.
❝good day, sir,❞ i say, water pouring from my bowler like a rather small waterfall, i am mindful to drink the water as it comes down and halts at my feet. i light another cigarette and swallow it. ❝raining kinda hard out, ain’t it?❞
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she wasn’t an idiot. she knew what a missed period and a sudden sickness meant. she’d been through this twice already. her paranoia made sure she was thinking of the very high possibility she was pregnant. god, she wished it wasn’t true. a relapse into thinking their marriage could get back on the right track, mary made dumb decisions. there hadn’t been any reason for her to be on birth control if she wasn’t getting any, and in the heat of the moment she hadn’t even told joseph to use a condom. she was in a haze of pretending everything was okay and going to be good, she got reckless.
checking out from the supermarket with pregnancy tests and a bottle of wine, probably wasn’t the best looking picture, but she didn’t care. there’s no way she could be sober for whatever answer she was going to get that night. anyway, she needed to drink enough to actually pee. a bottle of wine isn’t going to kill whatever baby may or may not be present in her body at the time. and if it did, she’s not sure she would be all too upset.
while she absolutely resented the idea of having another child and having to stare down and take care of another carbon copy of joseph, there was a part of her that was well, hopeful. while things were starting to turn sour when the twins were born, their births actually delayed a lot of their problems. they were able to bond and reconnect again over them. maybe this could be the start of something new?
it took about half the bottle for her to drain when she got home to actually need to pee. the real agony was in waiting for the test to finish and tell her the results. she poured herself another glass while she waited. she did some bullshit deep breathing while she waited and as her timer went closer to zero.
positive.
mary shook her head and laughed in a depressed manic way as she looked down at the piece of plastic. ❝fuck,❞ she muttered to herself. she wanted to cry. she nearly started too. she hated that she had to go through this again, she didn’ want to deal with this. and she felt like such a shitty mother for even thinking negatively about one of her children, even if it was a future child.
mary looked at herself in the mirror, a tear escaped her. she was just about to have one more reason that she wasn’t going to ever be able to leave joseph. as she stared at her broken reflection, she couldn’t help but think. maybe it didn’t have to be this way. there was a way out. she crossed herself at the thought, but it still didn’t leave her. she knew joseph would kill her for doing that without him knowing. she could try bringing it up to him, but he deserved to know at least.
she wiped the tears from her eyes and shut the lid on the toilet, sitting down on it. mary closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she began to pray. she needed answers, she felt the need to explain herself, she wasn’t really sure what she was looking for, but prayer, it helped.
after awhile she finally got up, and polished off her drink. exiting the master bath, wine glass in one hand, pregnancy test in the other. joseph had come home since the hour ago when she had locked herself in the bathroom. he was on the couch, reading or something, she didn’t really know or care. the living room seemed pretty empty, thank god. then she looked at the clock in the shape of a ship’s wheel. it was almost 9, joseph had probably put the kids to bed.
mary took a deep breath, and headed over to where he sat peacefully, ❝i’m pregnant,❞ she said swiftly, tossing the pregnancy test down in front of him on the coffee table. she’l disinfect it later, she didn’t give a shit right now. she wished she had one more sip of her drink but she didn’t. mary sighed and set the glass down gentle on the table, waiting for his reaction. / @ministcr
Lemme tell u about Santigold ( accepting ) | @manwhorc
EYES
Santigold’s eyes are green but not just any kind of green a specific almost jewel green that shines so nice when they catch the sun. Eye shape is almond with a slight ( though noticeable ) turn upward at the corners, veiled in thick long lashes that curl naturally. As much as she doesn’t sleep she actually has a pretty good skincare routine that keeps the dark circles from developing under her eyes. They’re sharp and alert, mostly a product of hyper-vigilance but also her natural innate observation skill.
MOUTH
She’s got full kissable lips for sure. They’re plump, plush and always glossy if not covered in red lipstick. Her resting expression is usually a serious case of RBF but when she does smile it’s bright, toothy ( depending on why she’s smiling and who it’s for ), Fake smiles tend to be a little smaller, less teeth or none at all. She’s prone to making a lot of accent noises too, like smacking her lips or clicking her tongue when she talks.
“ THAT MAN IS REALLY obsessed with dogs. & not in a good way. “ mako makes herself comfortable at the bar, eyes shifting back to the man with the half burned face sitting in a booth a few feet away. a shudder ran through her.
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