#maneo:askmeme

“i don’t know if i belong in the aegis anymore.”

worrying his lip between his teeth, jiyong can’t bring himself to look at his mentor. vic is the last one who’d judge him for saying such things, and the only person he trusts enough to share this with, but that doesn’t help settle his nerves.

“i don’t know if i ever belonged in the aegis at all.” there is a slight tremble in his voice as the words quietly spill from his lips. “not that i have any regrets. you taught me so much in the short time we worked together and i’ll always be grateful for that, but—” the witch pauses, but shakes his head. “sometimes i wonder if i would’ve been better off if i had listened to my grandparents and hadn’t moved to seoul.”

that had never been an option though. jiyong doesn’t even need to think about it, already knows his curiosity was too strong to ignore and that he would’ve ended up in the capital sooner or later. but curiosity killed the cat, they say.

jiyong knows he’s lucky he hasn’t met the same fate. yet.

a soft sigh escapes his mouth. “i know i’ve done a lot of good things over the past few years, most of which i couldn’t have done without them, and i wouldn’t take any of it back if i could. but do i agree with everything the aegis does? do i see myself still working for them five years from now?” the answer to both questions is a resounding no, but he doesn’t say it—doesn’t think he has to either. vic understands. he always does.

“the real question is, where do i go from here?”

“—So, yeah. That’s why I think Satan should have monthly meet and greets.” Kannika sipped at her milkshake as if she’d really done something with that answer. What was the question again? Definitely not anything about hi-touches with the devil, but somewhere along in her bullshit rant, she’d managed to get off track. Oh well. Now Seojin knew about her wildest shower thoughts.

“That’s... thought-provoking as always, Nika.” She couldn’t exactly tell if the angel was being sarcastic or not, but she took the compliment as it was either way. “Your turn to ask a question, then. Hit me with your best.”

The witch smiled, almost too cheerfully to be sincere. “What are your intentions with my best friend?”

Seojin blinked, and Kannika simply went back to sipping at her milkshake. “Did... did you suggest we play this game just so that you could ask me that?”

“I don’t wanna go.”

Typical, really. When was the last time Beomseok had willingly gone to any sort of event? She couldn’t remember— though, it was probably best not to bring that up. Knowing Yoona, she’d spout off the exact date and time that the medic had been last seen going somewhere on her own accord. 

“But you’re already all dressed up, don’t you wanna show off?” Yoona, bless her heart, had really stepped her game up from ‘because I said so’ and was at least trying other ways to convince her. Seok may not be buying it, but she got brownie points for it anyway. The medic was dressed in the most formal jumpsuit she owned, forever refusing to wear a dress for the sake of the Yi reputation or whatever shit her family went on about. Even just buckling the straps of her heels pained her mentally, knowing she’d much rather show up in the sneakers and loose flannel she’d had on earlier that day. She might just be kicked out of the gang for that. Honestly, it would just be better if she didn’t show. But Yoona wasn’t having that.

“No? Byeol’s seen my outfit, you’ve seen my outfit... that’s enough, I think.” The parrot squawked from where he was resting in the corner, acknowledging having heard his name. “See? He wants me to stay home, sorry Yoona! Hope you have a good time,” Seok plastered on a mock polite smile, stepping backwards as if the other might just give it up and let her be. That was wishful thinking.

“Seok, please?” Oh. Were those puppy eyes? “I don’t have a date and I can’t arrive alone. C’mon, be my date...” She’d really stepped her game up. How was Beomseok supposed to say no to puppy eyes and the ‘but I’m lonely’ card?

The medic groaned. “Fine. But if a single person asks me to put in a good word for them with uncle Hyun, I’m getting the fuck out of there immediately, I swear to God.”

home is a concept jiyong never quite managed to grasp.

namhae is a bandaid on a wound that requires stitches, a temporary fix for a heart he can barely hold together with his bare hands. he finds moments of happiness in the smell of freshly picked herbs and the clatter of wood and steel when he cooks up a new recipe and a gentle summer breeze playing with his hair. but when he stares up at the stars painted on his ceiling, he can’t help but wish for something more.

eighteen summers come and go, and he finds himself standing in the middle of an empty apartment in seocho, with eyes full of wonder and a head filled with dreams. his cat rubs against him, curling her tail around his leg, and a gentle smile forms on his lips as he crouches down to scratch her between the ears. “this our home now,” he says to her, to which she responds with a noise somewhere between a meow and purr.

but the word home still leaves a hollow feeling in his chest. he tries to fill the void with the company of strangers, who taint his skin with marks and bruises that only fuel his self-hatred when he looks at them in the mirror. they never stay. he tells himself he doesn't want them to, but when he muffles his sobs into his pillow after he's left to take care of himself, like so many times before, he realizes how badly he craves to be held and loved by someone who wants all of him and not just his body. but who could ever love someone like him?

guarded, selfish, and yet hopelessly vulnerable: such is seo jiyong. not the lone wolf he claims to be, but just a simple human being with a heart made of glass he so desperately tries to protect. a monster in the making, as he calls himself.

and then han yunho comes along, wearing a smile so bright it could chase away any dark cloud. he has never met anyone made of sunshine and stardust, but it is the only way he knows how to describe him. his heart surrenders without putting up much of a fight, and he catches himself daring to dream of a happy ending to a story of endless heartbreak and broken promises. maybe he is allowed to be happy, after all.

as the sound of his boyfriend’s soft breaths slowly lulls him to sleep, he comes to the realization that some homes have a heartbeat and that his is locked in the chest of a man who turned out to be a guiding light in some of his darkest times. a lazy smile quirks at the corners of his mouth and his eyes flutter closed once more. for the first time in twenty-one years, he is content with the life he’s living, and the tempest sweeping about inside of him finally settles down.

he lifts his head, eyelids heavy with sleep and a smile still lingering on his lips. it is a rare moment in which he’s awake while yunho is asleep. normally it’s the other way around, and he wants to cherish the moment for as long as possible. words he’s never spoken before threaten to spill from his mouth, but instead he nuzzles back into the pixie’s chest and whispers a small, “thank you,” before sleep overtakes him too.

home was a concept jiyong never quite managed to grasp. 

Insects: Name something your muse finds gross or annoying: Changmin absolutely cannot stand other people making someone uncomfortable, to the point he will get in fights over it.

1. When is their birthday?: October 13th, 1997

11. How would your character court the person of their dreams?: Changmin is a bit of a hopeless romantic, and although he doesn't believe someone could love a person as broken as him, he would try his hardest, bringing them flowers whenever he had the chance or knew that the last bouquet was about to wither and die, bring them gifts he knows they'd very much enjoy after he learned more about them, take them on very cheesy but romantic dates until he finally can steal their heart.

5. Are they in good health?: For the most part, Changmin is pretty healthy. He's a bit underweight, mostly due to the fact that he forgets to eat for days at a time, and getting in fights often has him hurt in some way. Other than that, he's doing really well.

15. Are they most likely to get in a fights with their fists or their tongue?: His fists, absolutely. Changmin may throw a few insults, but none too clever. He enjoys getting in fights, and he'll take whatever pain he's given.

Changmin had a very trying night, being a sex worker could be exhausting, his clients often asked for things that normally would require aftercare or some self care, however that wasn’t a part of the job description. He often had to just move onto the next client, not able to get much rest in between. It was nights like those that once he returned home, Changmin retreated to Hansol’s room to climb into his bed, waking his often sleeping brother doing so. 

“It was another bad night...” He’d mumble, worming his way into Hansol’s arms as his sore body relaxed. His brother was usually half awake when Changmin did so, but he didn’t mind, all he wanted was to be held and close to someone. However, Hansol always gave him that bright smile of his, and made sure to cuddle closer. Changmin never had to explain much, his brother had made it clear to him over the years that he could come in whenever he needed for comfort.