#mandythegreat

Before we get into the #interview, would you like to #introduce yourself to the audience, Marsha?

M: No. If the viewers do not know who I am they will have to find out on their own. They can find my blog at @marsha-landlord.

Marsha, I have mentioned your #blog!

M: Okay.

Oh! Um… well! I suppose that that’s a #valid #response. But without further ado, let’s get into the meat of the #interview with our first #question!

Marsha, what was your childhood like?

M: I was born in 1969 to my mother Gertrude and father Delbert. I have got six siblings. It would be seven, had my sister not perished in the flood.

I attended Catholic Schools for most of my childhood. I admired the Nuns that taught there. I had my heart set on becoming a Nun, however once I turned 14 things took a drastic turn when my father was exposed to mass amounts of radiation and all of his skin melted off. As a result my mother became the sole breadwinner of our household, and as the eldest daughter it was only proper that I left school to take on the role of caring for my siblings.

That’s rough, Marsha. I’m sorry you had to go through #that. I have my own experiences with #familial and specifically #sibling-based #trauma, so I can empathize with you.

Now that we a have a good idea of where you started, Marsha, how did you get from there to where you are now? More specifically, what inspired you to pursue a career in #landlording?

M: I was born with the deeds to the apartment building in my hands. These were kept safe for me until I became of age, at which point I moved there. I lived there for decades, treating each apartment as if it were one room of my very large house.

Then when my husband and I had Harold Junior., it was nonsensical to remain in the apartment building. All of those stairs with a young child would prove dangerous. So we instead purchased a modest little property with seven bedrooms, six bathrooms, two dining rooms and three living rooms. It was not much but it was enough for us.

Harold thought that I gave up the apartment building, but instead I began to rent it out in order to make a little extra money because back in those days the wife was merely considered to be the homemaker and should not have a job. These days, I would not say that Landlordism is my true calling but I enjoy it nonetheless.

#Fascinating! I’m sure our audience will appreciate that window into your life #in-the-now!

Speaking of #in-the-now, as of late, you’ve made posts pertaining to a… #certain #someone. Your beloved #bestie-turned-boo, Ingrid (@ingrid-francis)! How have things been going with her?

M: Very well. We have got another date night coming up this weekend, for which I am taking her to the theater.. I am not sure if you will have heard of it but we will be seeing a local showing of "Hamilton". Ingrid is a history aficionado so I am sure she will enjoy it.

I’ve heard good things about that show! We at #WISNTVNews once received an offer from a #Hamilton fan who was an #AIDS #activist, though, on reply, we never heard back from them.

Shifting the spotlight back to you though, Marsha, how has this process of #discovery regarding your #sexuality been, at your advanced age?

M: I have been having complex feelings surrounding the topic. I married young, and for the majority of my life Harold was the only person I had been with. Upon meeting Ingrid at our book club, however, something shifted within me. It has been a challenge but with the help of my daughter, Amanda (@mandythegreat) , I have been able to accept this part of myself, at least somewhat.

…Somewhat, Marsha? Is there something you've been #struggling #with in regards to your #feelings? If you don't want to #go #into #it, you don't have to, and we can cut this part.

M: In a way. I have done some thinking and I have realised I feel a large amount of guilt surrounding my deceased husband, Harold (may he rest in peace). I feel as though I have betrayed him by moving on at all, let alone moving on with another woman. Deep down, I know that there is nothing wrong with being a woman who likes women, but my daughter says that it sounds as if I am struggling with what she calls “Internalized Homophobia” and that I have much work to do in order to fully accept myself as I am.

I’m glad you can display that sort of kindness to yourself, Marsha! Not everyone can manage that. I truly hope that, someday, you’ll be able to #vanquish your #internalized #homophobia. It’s a long process, but I believe in you!

On the topic of #lovers, though, you mentioned Harold Junior before—#Harry (@harry-the-worst). Our reporters in the interweb fields report that he and his girlfriend, #Danni (@gothiccdanni), have a bit of a… troubled relationship. Do you have anything to say on #that #matter, Marsha?

M: If I am being honest, I do not know a lot about their relationship. Amanda has confided in me about some things that she says have been going on with the two of them but I do not know how accurate that is. A lot of the time I do not trust Amanda's judgement.

That’s understandable. Children don’t always want to share details of their lives with their parents, and that’s okay! They’re deserving of #respect and #privacy just as much as their #parents, both in adulthood and in their earlier years. If only my own #parents could’ve imbibed that #lesson… but anyway! What does the average #day #in #your #life look like, Marsha?

M: I enjoy going to my book club and tending to my house plants. I also do yoga sometimes. It is a good way to release emotions. Sometimes I find myself screaming while I am in Downward Dog.

#Yoga? That’s very heartwarming! I hear that it is not only a good way to #vent emotions, as you have said here, but that it also comes with a variety of #health #benefits. For someone like you, who’s had such a drastic #diet shift in the last two months—from a life of #Veganism to a more carnivorous palate—I imagine that #yoga’s nothing but helpful. How has your health been, since that dietary change?

M: I am incredibly bloated.

“Bloated?” Not to #offend, Marsha, but that seems like a bit of a harsh word. Have you been experiencing any #dissatisfaction with your larger body?

M: Not at all. I am as happy with my body type as I have always been. Women are taught to dislike their bodies but I refuse to. This is the same body that has carried me through my 56 years of life and I hope it will last for a further 56.

Inspiring, Marsha! I hope that all of the young women watching can follow in your #body #positivity footsteps.

As we reach the end of this #interview, I’d like to return to your occupation, if that’s alright. What’re in the #penthouse and #asbestos #basement? Viewers have been #dying to know since the May 6 poll ended in a standstill.

M: The asbestos basement contains asbestos. I am not sure why this confuses people when it is explained in the name. The penthouse is private and I will not be discussing it as of right now.

That’s entirely understandable. We all have our #secrets!

For our final question, Marsha, we’ve got a bit of a #curveball for you. A hypothetical, if you’d be willing to entertain it.

If all of your present tenants were in a #Saw #trap and you could only #save #one, who would you save?

M: If I were forced to save someone, I would choose Kermit (@the-muppet-joker). We have had our differences in the past but he is now my "Homestuck Moirail" so I feel obliged. Plus Tenant Eight (@tenant-eight) is already a corpse so it would not matter if I were to save it and Scarlet (@scarlet-worms) is worms so she is able to regenerate on her own.

A strong #platonic friendship never fails to #move #the #soul! Furthermore, the resilience of this “Tenant Eight” and Scarlet is truly heartening, even if I don’t fully grasp the metaphors you’re using. That being said, I think this is a wonderful note to end this #interview on. Is there anything you’d like to say to our viewers before we conclude, Marsha?

M: No.

Oh! A-Alrighty, then! Have a wonderful rest of your day, Marsha! The spatial distortion portal is behind the door on your left.

M: Thank you, Mr. Condom.

And thank you, dear viewers, for tuning in for the first installment of my #croakerverseinterviews! My next interviewee is #to #be #announced, but if you would like to be the first to know, make sure to sign up for my #newsletter!

This has been Jimmy Condom, #WISNTVNews, signing off.