#malumworldbuilding

WELCOME TO FIGHT CLUB

The year is 1972. Steve Talkalot is in his Seventh Year, and he has been the Slytherin Quidditch Captain since 1968, when he was a Third Year. Much to his frustration, the Slytherin Quidditch team is not fantastic. They are, in fact, in a similar position to where they were at when Steve himself became captain—that is, the only player on his team that he feels remotely comfortable recommending as his successor is one Emma Vanity, a Second Year in her first year on his team. Still, she’s competent and skilled, with more drive and leadership ability than the rest of them put together, and if anyone’s going to believe in a thirteen year old, it’s Steve.

The fact remains, however, that he is in his final year and in a constant state of Fed Up, for reasons including both the fact that his team is in a state that their best hope for the future is currently twelve and his name is Steve Laughalot. It is for these reasons that he begins a fight club. It has to be admitted that as far as fight clubs go, it’s… not very good. In fact, it’s terrible. It does the job, though, and acts as an outlet for his frustration. It fades once he leaves, though, because most members of the club are fairly appalling fighters, and are pretty sure that Emma—even at thirteen—could beat them, and so they never really inform her of this club’s former existence.

In Hufflepuff, though, it becomes a thing of legend. One Hufflepuff member of said fight club is actually remotely competent with their fist, and, having won a fight, proudly informs their entire common room, to which the general reaction is one of confusion. The following comment—“what? who the fuck are you fighting? we are wizards, bartholomew”—is one of many heard that night in response to that declaration. Bartholomew tells them all the story, and it passes through the entire common room and, as the years go on, through the house itself. It becomes a legend, and as the years pass, the details became skewed and embellished, because a member of their house won, so obviously it had to be a top-notch club, and the whole fight club eventually is remembered as a lot cooler than it actually was. Members of other houses hear whispers of it, but nothing particularly easy to pin down—only enough to pique interest and get some rumours rolling.

FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB: YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB

The year is 1977. Emma Vanity and Marlene McKinnon, Seventh Year Slytherin and Gryffindor respectively, have their own little fight club—or version of it, anyway—where they literally just rail against each other to get rid of the frustration and anger they have running through their bloodstream and coiling under their skin. Ludo Bagman, Seventh Year Ravenclaw, hears about it from Marlene, and is immediately reminded of a story his brother once told him. Otto, a Sixth Year Hufflepuff, had been seized by a fit of house pride and had informed Ludo of the fight club legend and the founder, Steve Laughalot, former Slytherin Quidditch Captain and mentor to young Emma.

Ludo, valuing his face, decides against making any quips to Emma about repeating history, because Steve was captain when he created it and Emma isn’t, and Ludo would rather not be decked for the reminder. He can, however, make mention of her “old mentor” and following in his footsteps, which piques Emma’s curiosity. Ludo informs Marlene and Emma of the legend. Marlene, being Marlene and therefore prone to questionable decisions and a natural recalcitrance that sometimes manifests as delight in defying authority, is immediately interested. Ludo, who enjoys skill analysis and also winning, is pretty sure he can make money off of this.

He starts approaching people, asking “hypothetically, in a fight, who would you bet on…?” and starts bringing people along, simultaneously generating an audience/potential fight pool and a betting ring. It quickly spirals. Alice Fortescue, Seventh Year Hufflepuff, hears about it and demands to have a go, citing the (greatly exaggerated, unbeknownst to all of the students currently at Hogwarts) great skill Hufflepuff has shown in the past. It is not the roaring success she’d expected it to be, but it does open up the fight club to other members wishing to showcase their Hufflepuff pride, and before long, it seems like nearly everybody is involved.

SECOND RULE OF FIGHT CLUB: YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB

The Hogwarts Fight Club is an unofficial club which largely takes place after hours. The home of betting and fighting analysis is the Ravenclaw common room, mostly due to the presence of Ludo Bagman, Xenophilius Lovegood and Elena Woodrow, all of whom are influential in some way in how the betting or statistical analysis work. Mundungus Fletcher’s connections and skillset also do not go amiss. Emma Vanity and Marlene McKinnon are widely regarded as the founders and leaders of the club, though it’s becoming its own beast, and are always amongst the most likely to be found fighting. Ludo thinks they should ask Lily to announce, as ey is so skilled in the art of Quidditch commentary, and also commentate if ey knows much about physical fighting. (James Potter, part-time announcer and part-time ring girl, concurs with this job opportunity for Lily. Marlene is fairly sure ey will not get involved and doesn’t think they should compromise her chance at plausible denial. Someone suggests they restart the debate club as this ensues, which is largely ignored by the deliberating Seventh Years). In all the spiralling out of control, they got to the point where a solid group of people coming along actually had no intention of fighting, and were simply coming along to bet, analyse or observe when they were bored. Fight club events and meetings are distinct from just general fighting—the latter is fine, but unless it’s a specific grudge between the fighters, is a waste of time in the eyes of the club, because the club exists for the purpose of working out frustration and anger without necessarily targeting a specific person. Given the network of the club, meeting details of the fight club are passed along by word of mouth, especially because location changes each time. They’re not official enough—nor as organised as Hermione Granger—to have figured out anything more efficient than that. It’s a narc-free zone, though, which can only be enforced by three things: the social stigma one would earn if they told, the fact that everyone has to ‘fight’ (however badly; this is coming into play from this meeting onwards, and is really just an insurance method to ensure that everyone is as culpable as each other so nobody will narc, and was suggested by a Ravenclaw Sixth Year) and a list of every person who has ever been present, which is kept in Marlene McKinnon’s possession, though she refuses to admit where, only stating that of all the ringleaders, she’s the one who can afford trouble the most and is in a female dorm, which has enchantments that prevent access to a significant percentage of the castle’s occupants.

Not all members are at every meeting either, which should be noted, as that may affect your character, and it’s still in its early days, though given how it’s spiraled, it’ll probably keep growing. The members stand in an octagon in the centre of the room—which changes each time—and because all of these children are Needlessly Dramatic, several have their own ‘mentors’ as time goes on and the club gets bigger and more populated. It’s mostly just a way for students to work out their frustrations—which was the original intent—or sometimes to make some money. Xenophilius Lovegood insists that they deal with as much healing in-house as possible, and Marlene McKinnon is very clear that the punishment for using magic in a fight is expulsion from the group, and possibly a fist to the face if attempting to prevent use of magic. Even merely drawing a wand during a fight is prohibited.

Whether your character is aware of or part of fight club—which is a recent occurrence and is super unofficial, just look at the ringleaders—yet is up to you, but they may also (and some who wish to attend the meeting should) learn about it in character. Feel free to message the main if you’re unsure as to whether your character would have heard of it yet, and we’ll help you figure it out! The next fight club meeting will take place in-character on Sunday, 20th November (ooc: the week of the 22nd Aug - 28th Aug), which is the weekend after the Gryffindor vs Slytherin match and the weekend before the Ravenclaw vs Hufflepuff match.