#malintilde

Malintilde, the Masked Toygetter

Do you like your darkly-dressed rogues with a bit of intrigue, humor, and glitz? People who wear stilts under their shoes so their height changes frequently? Are you in any way interested in being left gifts such as contraband diamonds, Neathly wines, and free (stolen) tickets to Mrs. Plenty's Carnival, under your door and in your cabinets where you absolutely did not put them? How'd he get in? Would you enjoy a fair person of distinction playing the thieves' equivalent of footsy by leaving with one of your various accessories every time you meet, seeing if you'll notice? Are you okay with having a mural of your fine self plastered on a wall at Veilgarden, as a grand gesture of devotion? Can you stomach dead rats over candlelight?

Then this fair sort, who is occasionally a man and occasionally a woman with a wardrobe fit to burst at both ends, is just the cut purse for you! She's looking for a partner in crime, but you needn't get your hands dirty if you can keep a secret or two and store him (sometimes) in your pantry when Constables go chasing after. Of course. Be not turned away by his high Heartless, he does have one—and it can belong to you solely for the small cost of your ethics and morals!

This scoundrel is looking to build an empire and bathe you in riches...! And she may be terrified of ever being poor and alone and powerless ever again so they're keen to overcompensate with grand displays of affection and violence against your enemies—but we don't talk about that! In fact, they're a *little* lacking in emotional sincerity so if you enjoy the act of an actress playing the part to show you she cares, and the sound of egotistical monologing, look no further!

Hellena Misit, the Silent Pugalist

For starters, 8'2 solid brick shithouse of muscle that was in the navy for a few years, fed well, and can pick a man up with one hand, by his face. Woman who pulls monsters apart with said hands. Woman who is very, very often covered in blood that is not hers and has RBF. Woman who is chasing the Vake not because of the bounty, but because she's heard rumors about being able to turn herself into a fanged monster. Onto the finer details.

Hellena has a quiet, competitive, and rough exterior that can be incredibly intimidating at first, but underneath, she is rather magnanimous and sensitive, a weasel lover through and through.

She often dresses for practicality considering her job as the group's collector, bodyguard, mercenary, and occasional emergency ladder, but loves quiet evenings to gussy herself up and enjoy a little piano or reading. Averse to drinking and big, loud crowds, she'd probably bring you out to enjoy the false stars under the marshes with a picnic in hand. Not very good with knowing how much eye contact is enough eye contact. Definitely more than a touch socially awkward. Does prefer a partner who doesn't mind speaking for her from time to time in more polite company, given they know her enough to properly do so.

You might also have to deal with whatever she has going on with Johnny Fours, unfortunately. He will be interrupting your nice evenings by crawling through her window, looking like something the Constables' dogs had the most spectacular fun chewing on. They also kiss and have an off-again on-again sort of romance that is ill-defined and full of pining.

Also just be aware that if you hurt her, you'll have to deal with all the other people on this list making your life hellish. Forever.

Helimeri, the Unsuitable Socialite

A peculiar member of the Neathly crust with both mother and father issues and a little more besides in terms of not trusting people or enjoying vulnerability, Heli is a great choice if you don't respect yourself!

A very fashionable and poetic soul, Helimeri is known to have directed quite a number of ballets, plays, and the like in the Empress's court. She's also known to have fancied as many people as she has written plays, and still find the plays more entertaining. If looked at a touch too closely, you may find reoccurring themes of poking more than fun at her entire peer group, whom in private she finds absolutely disgusting despite her own power plays to reach the heights of the cream for herself!

A public Master sympathizer and a pillar of the status-quo, you'd never guess who gave the angry, particularly violent Revolutionaries all that wonderful information about which of her trysts keeps their doors unlocked and what times they'll be home!

It is exceptionally difficult to be of any real note to her, or to bypass her usual persona of the ditzy, fluttering thing that weaves her true opinions through the kind of nonsense that gives less patient folk headaches. If you can do either of those things, you just might become someone she views as both a tool and threat in obtaining her desired end, to become a force of power all her own. Either you rival her in wit and perception, or, perhaps, you'd prefer to submit yourself as a footstool. Both options just might do something irreparable to her. Bonus points if you're a touch greying.

Very briefly sought the seeking, might still be eating raw meat and have some very questionable tastes in people. In very, very private company.

Johnny Fours, the Unright Ailsman

Don't. There are better options here, okay? You don't have to pick this one. You're worthy of love and care and you don't have to fix other people to feel worthy. I can't stop you from trying, but please. You don't have to pick him. There are other options.

Ugh. Fine. You must like them mean and wet and self-destructive, I get it. Hellena, at least, has an excuse, maybe you're trying to find one. Or maybe you just enjoy the scandal of getting involved with one of London's most detested (though undeniably effective) detectives and egotistical bachelors. He wouldn't blame you, he is quite the talk of town, isn't he? Hell, if you asked and gave such a reason as 'for the reactions', he'd fake-date you for free.

Nonetheless, be warned that he is crass, rude, casually insulting, and smells constantly of honey and vigor. His apartment is, peculiarly, a mess on all surfaces except the floor, and he owns exactly, in terms of dishware : a bowl, spoon, fork, knife, and plate. Singular. He is constantly on the move doing god-knows-what and constantly injured to some degree, because he sees a 12% chance and the gambling addict in him thinks breaking a bone is a small price against possible, instant victory.

That is not, unfortunately, to say, that closeness to him is without some kind of compensation, such as his mediocre violin playing, enjoyment of chess, endless speculation about the Correspondence and other scholarly matters, and a man who will drop himself onto any possible assailant of your person like a human sand bag. If you give chase, he will run and bite and holler, if you are of interest to him and try to get him to go away, good luck because he will now follow you to the ends of the earth simply to study and annoy you. Such is the duality of man.

You may also directly tunnel into his sad little aorta via expressing grief of your own lost loved one, or by being involved in any way in Nemesis. Will do anything in his power to help you find the guy responsible and still fist fight you with his teeth for the right to make the first blow.

Oh, and he already has a thing going with a very tall woman who can pick him up by the scruff of his neck and holds him down to disinfect his injuries. Occasionally, they bite each other. Don't mind that. None of your business.

Homer Otto, the Repentent Deacon

An old-fashioned, religious campaigner and ex-watcher for the Constables and Church, who holds the position of the eldest member of the group at 59 years old. Graying, balding, and very fidgety, he is very polite when able but not without a touch of temper. For what is a man of cloth without his passion to preach?

He doesn't *like* criminals and sinners and perverts. But somehow, he's surrounded and just kind of stuck with them now, so he might as well tolerate you. Kind of in a weird spot where he accepts that people can change their genders and is alright with it, but believes having gay sex is 'a choice' because he doesn't realize he's asexual and sex-repulsed and that isn't the norm for everyone else ON TOP of growing up incredibly devout which, skews some things. A little slow to the party, but like that one non-conservative, not-quite liberal uncle, he's trying his best. Y'know. Fine with violence in defense of animals and women, but condemns murder in all circumstances. Believes the church should pay taxes to the state, but also that it has the right to hold room in government. Doesn't mind drag, but doesn't get it either. Will genuinely hear you out in discussing these things, but largely set in his ways. Wasn't completely popular with other deacons on the surface.

Much of his new life in the Neath is spent trying to help others while also simply trying to get by, often to the effect of getting himself stuck between his growing care for his new and only companions, and his moral and societal obligations to the law and his faith. Frankly trusts the Church too much, and it can not be said he wouldn't confess to them about your unpleasant activities with the genuine intent to 'save your soul', just as he confesses his own.

Homer experiences memory loss, visual, and audio hallucinations due to his long-term, mysterious situation with what Johnny suspects is, likely, red honey poisoning by an unknown party. He finds the physical world and touch, grounding, and this makes him prone to suddenly needing to lay down on the floor or hold onto something nearby. He deeply appreciates people who can have patience with him and do not worsen these already hard moments. He also, hence, carries several journals with him, one for each of his close companions, to log their time together and immortalize his favorite memories or details he doesn't wish to lose.

Heli enjoys projecting a bit of herself onto Warren, which generally includes spoiling her and trying to encourage her to be more aware of useful society skills. She is not exactly successful because this is Warren and her society-related hang-ups we're talking about, but, she tries. Definitely protective of her and, doesn't always realize when she's being misguided in her efforts to show Warren care.

Elliott is also, technically, Helimeri's 'friend'. If you count like. Very politely terrorizing someone to get your way and sometimes doing decent things for them, a friendship. Uses his worst fears against him to have more time with Warren and is really fascinated by his wet dog energy. Would defend him against public ridicule for his fashion sense, but would also shove him into a chair and berate him.

"He's... Lovely. In a sense of the word. The way salt weasels are."

Jonathan is also very fascinated by him, but like. How you study a frog in a terrarium and accidentally get attached to it by losing your soul in how it sits there, all blinking and soggy. He was initially super rude with Elliott, but then the guy started to do the Things He Does, and now Jonathan is stuck in a perpetual state of 'why are you like this'. Man who hates eye contact suddenly has a weird change of heart for exactly two people alive, one being his wife and the other being Elliott because he's staring at that guy.

He desperately wants to see Elliott pop a blood vessel, just once, but has stopped pissing with him because it just makes Johnny feel bad. There's something... perpetually safe, in his mind, about Elliott? Unless you're Heli, who is mean to some capacity to everyone she loves, Jonathan will immediately throw fists for this man, life or death. Might also be in part that he reminds him of his older brother.

"They say all the good folks die early—I agree. So keep your bloody head on your shoulders."

- @lordlawson : Hattie Lawson is a rather fond companion of Jonathan's, not that he'd ever, y'know. Admit it. Definitely admires its intelligence and looks up to their exploits. He reserves a bit of a soft spot for her in tiny gestures while pretending to be inconvenienced by doing them, or just 'happening' to be nearby. By the time Hattie's eyes changed, Jonathan never knew they used to be more vibrantly green. He sees them now, though.

- @the-discombobulated-devil : Jonah is like catnip to Heli, okay? Okay. Definitely sees it as one of her special people and was very quickly taken with him for its class, generosity, and shared interests. Enjoys mutual gift-giving and outings spent hunting together. Don't ask about what kind of game is involved.

Totally doesn't lie awake at night in her bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about the way it smiles. Totally has never fallen down her stairs from rushing to recieve a letter from it, no. Her maids absolutely do not catch her feet going back and forth really fast while she's doing her hair. Perfectly well-adjusted activities. Just like very angrily packing and sending Jonah's partner very helpful medicine in a fashion so aggravated the maids are wondering if it's NOT actually poison, is also perfectly well-adjusted.

There's something deeply wrong with her, but honestly, she could be worse. Like as an inevitability and a hypothetical. Hellena and Jonathan are both keeping an eye on her about it. Mal thinks it's funny as fuck, Heli has one little giggle to herself and loses 99 Dreadful on impact, to him. Makes fun of MAL for getting stupid happy, proceeds to get stupid happy her damn self. Mal hope she trips on the stairs again.