#main posts.

"Rosco has been a very good boy today, so I'm taking a break from work, so him and I can play!"

"Note to self, go out and get some new toys for him. That way, his days will not be so dim~ <3"

"I decided I should probably make a proper introduction, and tell you about myself and my rules. Afterall, I better set some boundaries for you fools..."

"Anywho...-"

"I am Riley Ruckus, from the hit show; Mortimer's Handeemen, this you already knew."

"Frankly, my Handeemen status holds no joy for me, but that is not the point here-"

"I go by any and all pronouns, I do not care what you call me, so do not fear."

"I have not found a gender label I enjoy, I simply am me. This may change, if I can find one that fills me with glee."

"On the topic of labels; I am a woman lover. Whether I am 'lesbian', or 'sapphic', I have yet to discover."

"Now that identity introductions are out of the way, I can get to the real data; my rules. Please, do NOT break these tools."

"These rules are;

- Do not sexualize me, or any of my fellow Handeemen [I've seen what some of you HEATHENS have to say].

- This is a text blog, nothing more. Do not get confused.

- Do not break the 'fourth wall' [Don't ask].

- If I don't answer your ask in a way you like, do not harass me over it.

- Remain civil. I know Nickolas and I fight, but I'm not getting into petty arguments with you lab rats."

"That's about it for this one... Now, let's continue our usual schedule of educational fun!"

"Remember, keep those questions coming my way! Believe it or not, these outside interactions really make my day."

"Blasted host technology, I swear-"

"Ah! Aha!"

"There we are."

[Ahem.]

"Greetings, hosts of this app. Worry not, despite my appearance, this is not a trap."

"I stole found this cellular device, and thought it would give me the perfect opportunity to gain some more data. Consider this, an experiment in beta."

"I figured I could learn more about you hosts and your behavior, without leaving the comfort of my lab. This sounded perfect to me, so I decided I'd give it a stab!"

"Anywho, let us begin this test. I just hope this decision was for the best."

"I'm seeing all your asks, but when I try to answer them, the text goes CRAZY!"

"I truly hope they get this fixed soon, and that they choose not to be lazy..."

"Also, reminder that I specifically asked you all not to break the fourth wall, in my rules. This includes bringing up, or claiming you're from an 'alternate universe', you absolute fools."

"While I do believe in the multiverse theory, that does not mean I want to hear about alternate me's. I'm sure they're all wonderful puppets, but thinking about that distresses me to.. various degrees-"

"Oh, and quit 'shipping' me with my fellow Handeemen. Nick's my brother, Mortimer is horrible, and I despise Scout, and yet it comes up again and again."

"I am devoted to someone else, thank you."

"Anywho..."

"Goodbye, for now. Also, if anyone knows how to fix my issue, please do message me, ONLY for that reason, I'll allow."

"Especially today, as I will be confronting Nickolas... again- I swear, he WONDERS why our relationship has so much strain-"

[Ahem]

"Anywho... I will continue to answer asks for the time-being, until Nick answers the door. Or.. you know, if Mortimer nags me, or gives me another chore-"

"Keep them coming, test subjects. I'm curious to see what you will ask me next..."