Summary: Two people are trained from childhood for a magical competition they donât fully understand, whose stakes are higher than they imagine, all to be played out in a magical traveling circus. Falling in love complicates things. A CS AU of the book âThe Night Circusâ.
Rated M. 220 words. Also on Ao3. On Tumblr: Chapter One| Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four
A/N: Thank you to everyone who's loved this since the beginning. You're the reason this fic was finished.
There is never any warning, no television advertisements or event invitations on Facebook to tell you of its coming. It is simply there one morning, stark black and white and silver nestled between all the chaotic colors of modernity.Â
Itâs easy to get lost amongst the tents, exploring each one in turn. A young man tells fortunes in one, scattering tiny silver stars to read the future, though he will only tell you that change is coming. A young woman practices feats of illusion in another, sweeping a bow in her tails and hat when you find yourself watching just a little bit longer than anyone else. There are acrobats, and fire eaters, and tents filled with clouds and dreams bottled in jars, all of it more magical than you ever believed youâd discover. Â
âItâs wonderful, isnât it?â asks a voice from beside you. A glance reveals a tall, lean man with messy hair, dressed in a stark black suit with white shirt and a black tie. A member of the circus, then.
âIt is,â you reply. âHow can it even be real?â
The man smiles, hands you a plain white business card with silver script. Henry Mills, it reads, Proprietor.
âWelcome to the circus,â he tells you. âLet me tell you a story.â
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Summary: Two people are trained from childhood for a magical competition they donât fully understand, whose stakes are higher than they imagine, all to be played out in a magical traveling circus. Falling in love complicates things. A CS AU of the book âThe Night Circusâ.
Rated M. ~13.4k. Also on Ao3. On Tumblr: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three
A/N: It's back, at long last! Thanks to my wonderful beta, @snidgetsafan, and to @ohmightydevviepuu for all her help with the tarot stuff. And, of course, a HUGE thanks to my artist, @eirabach. She made me a gif for this chapter! A gif! How freaking cool is that! Lastly, thanks to the ladies of the IAS for their support as I poured blood, sweat, and tears into this. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
Stay tuned later tonight for me to post a short epilogue, and this one is done.
Nick sees things - things other people donât see. He always has. Sometimes theyâre things that have already happened, and sometimes theyâre things that havenât happened yet, but theyâre there. He knows them, the way he knows what he had for breakfast and what his sisterâs face looks like. True, unchangeable things, no matter what anyone else does or doesnât see.Â
(People donât always believe him, of course, but thatâs alright; Nick doesnât need to be believed. Whether or not people believe what he sees does not have any bearing on the truth of the matter.)
A long time ago, Nick had seen Henry at the Circus. Heâd told Ava that much; by the time Henry had shown up that second time, the year theyâd turned sixteen, theyâd known to expect him, and known that his fate was tied inextricably to the Circus and to themselves. Itâs one of the reasons Ava had asked Henry to stay - that absolute certainty that he belonged in the Circus, grounded in the things Nick had seen.Â
It hadnât been the right time. Nick didnât say it, but he knew all the same. The future only ever comes in flashes - a crude ring, towering flames, a sense of cold and stillness, and Henry, somehow in the middle of all of it, still young but grown, a few short years in the future perhaps. Itâs unmistakable. Itâs fate, of a kind that is yet to occur.Â
If there is one thing Nick knows, it is that not all futures yet to come should be spoken aloud. Henry Millsâ entwinement with the Circus, whatever it yet may be, is one of them.Â
Still - as Henry and his sister mourn the early train from miles apart, Nick smiles to himself.Â
This story, whatever it may become, is far from over.Â
âââ
Knowing the nature of this competition doesnât make things any easier, Emma discovers. In fact, it only makes things harder.Â
Maybe, at a certain level, she always knew it had to end like this. Maybe she just didnât want to face it - Reginaâs pointed silence on the subject, the increasing weight of this endeavor as the years had rolled on, the way Regina and Gold both had tried so hard to establish a divide between her and Killian. Now, however, is the era of facing this hard truth.
Mulan is right; falling in love with Killian made this an even greater tragedy than it already would have been. Winning was always a distant concept, but now it is simply unthinkable - knowing that her winning would mean his death.Â
It does not help knowing that he would say the same thing.Â
The Circus weighs heavier on her each day. Itâs been nearly twenty years since they welcomed their first visitors, and even longer since this whole endeavor started. On the surface, Emma may still look like a young woman, but she feels each of those years in her mind and her body and her soul as the days tick by. Knowledge of how this must end only makes her more aware of the burden.
Some days, she wonders if it would be easier to just⊠give in. Accept the inevitability of the extent of the magic she carries. It would spare Killian, for certain, physically if not emotionally. What stays her hand each time is all the other lives tied to their competition now. Dozens of lives and livelihoods rest on her shoulders now, a thing she doubts anyone considered at the beginning of this all. What would happen to everyone whose lives have been put on hold if she lets go? What other unimaginable fallouts might come to pass?
No answer is immediately evident. No matter how much Emma searches her books, she fears the outcome will be the same: that thereâs no way to minimize this damage, no matter how much she tries.Â
âââ
Henry is 18, and the world has lost much of its shine and glorious possibility.Â
Heâd been an imaginative boy, and an imaginative young man, but those kinds of thoughts seem impossibly far away now. More than anything, Henry wants to learn, to go to telegraph school or maybe even college, but that just feels like a foolish dream most days, when he trudges down to the shipyards for another day at work, barely making enough pay for a little bit of lunch and the rent for his boarding houseâs landlady at the end of the week. It is grueling work, constructing cargo ships and ocean liners, and Henry wonât pretend he enjoys it, but theyâd been hiring when the sisters had made it clear heâd need to find his own way in the world and he couldnât afford to be picky. Besides, heâs good at this; Henry may not be as strong as so many of the men he works with, but heâs quick and wiry and precise, able to wiggle into tight spaces when needed. This is not the life Henry ever imagined for himself, but thatâs living, he supposes - settling, making do, focusing more on the business of surviving than any lofty goals.
Still, in a box under his bed at the boarding house filled with the little treasures heâs collected over the years, lives a single white glove, still soft and pristine after all these years. On nights that Henry indulges himself in dreams, he pulls the glove out and remembers the circus, all the lights and the smells and the people, the kind vendors whoâd slipped him popcorn and Emma the magician and especially Ava, whoâd kissed his cheek under the autumn sunlight and made him feel like he could be somebody.Â
Weâll see each other again - I promise, sheâd said, and Henry had believed her. Even now, six years of heartache and disappointment and waiting later, thereâs still a part of him that believes. Itâs why heâs stayed here, within easy distance of the old fields where the Circus had unfolded, when he could find a better job with the railways. He canât leave, not when they might still come back. After all - Ava had promised.
Henry will wait, and remember. But each day, it grows a little harder to dream.
âââ
There is a bonfire at the center of the Circus.
Bonfire, perhaps, is too mundane a word for the structure before you. The flame itself dances in unnatural ways, higher and then lower, swirling in patterns youâve never seen fire take, tendrils periodically flashing with brilliant bursts of color before settling to a brilliant orange again. Surrounding the marvel is a cast iron cauldron, delicately constructed and appearing brilliantly strong for the contrast. Everything else spirals out from there - every path, every tent, every performance. Every bit of the Circus, with that fire throbbing at its center like a beating heart.Â
Youâd come years ago, too, when the Circus was still young, and the bonfire had flared at its center then too. Something is different now, however, you canât help but feel. Thereâs something more⊠intense, about the flames, something more demanding and frantic and pressing. Where the fire had once lapped gently, like waves against a wrought iron shore, it burns furiously and desperately now, higher and higher. It speaks of something imminent, that might yet still be terrible or glorious.Â
You step away, trailing back outwards along a silver-paved path. The bonfire seems now to mix wonder with fear, in a way you didnât notice before.Â
But then again - what else will a fire do, if not burn?
âââ
Belle -Â
You told me, once, several years ago, to be careful - that change was coming, was in the air and in the cards. You also told me, in an entirely different conversation, that love was entirely too risky and wonderful to let pass by.Â
Who would have thought that both those warnings would come together at the same time, and in the same person? I think, perhaps, you may have been bright enough to see the writing on the wall. I, for one, was not.Â
Love is beautiful, Belle. She is beautiful, and brilliant, and so bloody good that it takes my breath away sometimes. Is this how you feel, with your Will? This overwhelming love that makes me willing to do anything, give up anything to make sure sheâs happy? It is powerful, and terrifying, the way I wake up each morning willing to throw it all away if only she asks - maybe even before. Perhaps thereâs an irony in the fact weâre meant to be competitors, diametrically opposed in every way - or, perhaps, the forces that set this all in motion never stopped to think that the very ways in which we were opposed made us more compatible than any other two people in the world.Â
In truth, Iâm writing to you today, Belle, because I think I know what needs to be done, and I donât want you to worry. This is my choice - and I will always, always choose her. Things are changing, and Iâm not entirely sure where that will leave me at the end of this. But as you once said - Iâm choosing to believe that change is for the better.Â
With all my love,
-Killian
âââ
Belle Scarlet, nee French, likes to start her day with a cup of tea and the paper and her correspondence. This morning brings a letter from Killian, and with it, more questions than answers. Her old friendâs words are simultaneously joyous and desperate in tone, leaving her puzzled more than anything else.Â
Belle doesnât read her cards very often, anymore. Thereâs no real need to. The years of telling visitors a never-ending string of futures had been some of the most joyous of her life, but sheâs enjoying this quieter existence. Killianâs words, however⊠itâs enough to send Belle for her personal set in her desk drawer, to see if the universe will be any more forthcoming.Â
The cards⊠the cards are a mess. Belle struggles to find any sense in what possibilities they present. Sheâd read for Killian, or sheâd intended to, but what she sees in front of her speaks more to the Circus instead, like the two have become too intertwined to separate. Swords and their conflict flash throughout, the Lovers, the Devil and the Chariot and Judgement. The message is unclear, but thereâs an undeniable urgency that speaks to her. At the center of it all is the Hanged Man. Belle knows this card, and its many meanings; knows how often it should be interpreted as events churning forward without oneâs control. But it sits there, ominous in its depiction anyways, spurring Belle to action. Sheâs almost out the door, coat in hand, when she remembers something. Doubling back to the same drawer that keeps her cards, she retrieves the small, velvet pouch Mulan had pressed into her hand the day Belle left the Circus.Â
If Belle isnât mistaken, sheâll finally have cause to use it.Â
Itâs been years since she visited Killian in his apartment, but Belle still remembers the way, his address imprinted on her mind as the place this all began. It had always been an unassuming little set of rooms, never the kind of place youâd expect to find a powerful magician. Maybe that makes sense, in a way - the possibility of finding magic in the quietest, least likely places.Â
When Killian opens the door, he looks exhausted, more than Belle has ever seen. She canât be certain what has happened the past two years, her friendâs letters always rather vague on specifics, but she can see how it presses down on his shoulders. Behind him, the apartment is in disarray in a manner sheâs not used to seeing, books abandoned still open on every spare surface. On his desk in the middle of it all sits a paper model of one of the Circus tents; if Belle isnât mistaken, itâs one that belongs to Miss Swan, the illusionist.Â
Oh, Killian.
âTell me whatâs happened,â she says gently.Â
He gestures her in, though sitting space is at a premium, books and scraps of paper taking over every space. As Belle gently rearranges things to perch on the arm of an armchair, Killian himself collapses into the seat behind his desk.Â
âItâs the competition,â he tells her. âI finally know how it ends.â
âAnd?â
He tilts his head in her direction, smiling sadly. âItâs a test of endurance,â he finally says after a heavy pause, ânot of skill. The last one standing wins.â
Killianâs words set off a chill down to Belleâs bones as their truth sinks in. It is unsurprising, somehow, after years of mystery and deflection, but that doesnât make it any less horrifying. âAnd you love your competitor,â is all she can say in the end.Â
âAye. I do.â Killianâs hand fumbles for a glass of dark liquor on the sideboard, taking a long drink. âTo lose, after all this time, seems unthinkable. But to win⊠that would be even worse.â
âA situation in which no one wins, really. Except, perhaps, your benefactors.â
âExactly that.â He takes another drink before Belle rises to gently pry the crystal out of his hand. Thereâs a fire in his eyes as he looks up at her, a sort of determination, but the tragedy still lurks just behind his gaze. âI know what I need to do, Belle. I do. But thereâs the Circus to consider, and even then⊠I donât know that sheâll ever forgive me.â
âDoes she love you, as you love her?â
âYes. Yes, I think so.â
âThen sheâll forgive you,â Belle says simply. âSheâll understand. But something is at hand, Killian, something with the Circus. Something immediate, that will not be ignored.â
âSomething that will have to happen without me.â Killianâs gaze is distant as he looks out his window overlooking a very English street.
Belle pulls him into a hug as her mind churns. Sheâd had a suspicion when she came here that her intervention was necessary - itâs why sheâd grabbed Mulanâs gift, after all - but itâs another thing to face the moment with certainty. Whatever is about to happen, she knows it will be the last she sees of her friend.Â
(Surreptitiously, she slips the Hanged Man into his pocket. When sheâd first seen the card, sheâd thought it heralded doom, and perhaps it still does. The Hanged Man, though, represents so much more: sacrifice for a cause, and surrender to greater forces, and letting one phase end for the sake of a new beginning. A merciful death with eyes wide open.Â
Some fates are unavoidable. And some endings are necessary to usher in something more.)
âNot necessarily,â she tells him, stepping back out of their tight embrace.
âNot necessarily? Belle, I appreciate the vote of confidence, but if I donât even know whatâs going on, thereâs nothing I can do from here. Whateverâs about to happen - I canât stop it. Itâs not possible.â
âOh, Killian,â she sighs fondly. You know, itâs funny - thereâs no reason to make this moment more dramatic than it already inherently is, but after all of Killianâs own dramatics over the years⊠it feels fitting. Belle carefully draws the little bag out of her purse. Inside is a fine powder that Mulan had promised could transport someone back to the Circus if the time was right and the circumstances necessary. Unlike so much of the Circus, the powder is a shining gold, fine and soft when Belle tips the pouchâs contents into her hand. âYouâve forgotten one important thing,â
His face draws into a suspicious expression as he watches her hands move, seemingly cluing into the fact that she has plans of her own. âWhatâs that?â
Maybe the question is responding to her words; maybe itâs responding to her motions. Either way, her answer is the same. âThereâs magic in this world, Killian. And that makes so many impossible things real.â
And with a sudden gust of breath, she sends the powder Mulan had gifted her to envelop Killian, surrounding him in a golden cloud. When the powder finally dissipates, Killian is gone, his glass on the desk the only sign heâd even been there.Â
Thereâs a feeling in Belleâs heart that maybe, this is the last time she sees Killian, but whatever that feeling is, it isnât quite dread. Acceptance, maybe, and inevitability.
Belle lets herself back out into the street and slips into the early-morning crowd. Whatever happens - sheâs played her part. Things are the way theyâre supposed to be.Â
âââ
When the dust settles, Killian finds himself outdoors. A brief glance reveals him to be right in the center of the Circus, mere steps from the bonfire. Despite the rainy weather, the flames still dance and flicker, the center force of this whole enterprise churning ever forward. Somehow, heâs been transported thousands of miles, clear across the ocean from London to Maine. Others, he knows, would be shocked by such a sudden change; Killian has become far too weary for that.Â
That same glance also reveals Mulan waiting as if she knew he was coming, her fingers tapping on the pommel of her sword the only indication of a less-than-perfect patience. It is even less surprising, somehow, than his abrupt transportation.Â
âAh good,â she says. âThe former Miss French still shows impeccable timing.â
âSo this is your doing?â
âThat would, perhaps, be an overstatement,â she admits, handing him an umbrella. âI simply provided her with a tool. I thought it might be of use.â
âAnd yet you knew to wait.â
âI do not have Belleâs gifts; I will not pretend to such things. But the magic is⊠fraying, shall we say. Spiraling out of control. I can recognize a crisis point when it is upon us.â
Killian waits for her to continue, but the next words never come. After far too long a silence, he waves a prompting hand. âAnd?â
âYou were clever at the start of all this,â Mulan tells him. âTying your portion of the Circus to the book, and to the bonfire - that was wise. The separation acts as a pressure release valve, taking much of the burden off yourself. Miss SwanâŠâ She pauses. âWell. Miss Swan, despite all her talents, has not done the same.â
âI know. Iâve seen it.â
âYes, but do you know the extent? If Emma were to drop dead right now - the entire Circus would collapse in on itself. Itâs a stroke of luck that this breaking point has not come while we were in transit, or the resulting crash would likely prove fatal to many of those here.â
âSo you are asking me to - to end it.â
âNot exactly.â Mulan smiles cryptically. âHave you had much cause to speak with Nicholas Zimmer?â Killian shakes his head. âYoung Mr. Zimmer is blessed with a rare gift - to see those things that happened long ago, with the kind of clarity most cannot see the present. One of his favorite tales is that of Merlin. Are you familiar?â
It rings a faint bell, like something heâd read in a book once. âThe sorcerer, aye? And the tree.â
âPrecisely. Now, most stories say he transformed himself into a tree, but it was something more similar to binding his spirit. Somewhere out there is an ancient oak, with the soul of a powerful magician trapped inside. That is what I ask of you. The Circus is born of both yours and Emmaâs talents - and no matter who takes themselves off the board, it will cause a catastrophic collapse. But if you bind yourself to the CircusâŠâ
âYou believe it will keep the operation going. A loophole, if you will.â
âExactly. Enough time to more effectively separate Miss Swan from her own magical bonds, and leave this place fully self-sufficient. But only if youâre willing.â
If heâs willing. What kind of question is that? If it will save Emma, and protect what theyâve created⊠itâs no question at all. âDo it.â
Mulan smiles. âI thought you might say that.â She lifts her hands briefly, as if about to commence immediately, before dropping them again. When you know what to look for, the similarities between Mulanâs and Emmaâs magic is unmistakable - the intricate motions like weaving a tapestry out of thin air. âIs there anyone you need to speak to, first?â she asks, her tone uncharacteristically gentle.Â
Killian thinks of Emma, and of his brother. Liam will understand, he thinks; something like this has been coming for most of their lives. EmmaâŠ
Perhaps it is best that Emma not know. He already knows sheâd never agree.Â
âNo. There are not many people in my life, and I think theyâll understand. Do as you must.â
With a solemn nod, Mulan lifts her hands again, weaving intricate patterns. Behind Killian, the bonfire flares, growing taller and hotter and stronger. Thereâs a glow in the space between them, now, something that might be magic or might be the fire or might, even, be both. He can feel something pulling at his back, like strings knotted over and over to tie him to the bonfire.Â
Killian almost closes his eyes, lets himself surrender to the binds, when he hears a sudden shout. Through the growing blaze, Killian can just see Emma, running at full speed, beautiful in a blue dress and determined in a way heâs never seen. Mulan diligently works through the disturbance, hands moving as fast as they can, but Emmaâs faster, and the spell hasnât quite set, and -Â
He opens his arms on instinct, accepting Emmaâs weight as she latches on to him, and lets them both fall.Â
âââ
(Emma hadnât really thought it through before she threw herself at Killian - sheâd just seen Mulanâs hands moving over the Circus book and so many strings looping around Killian and the tome and the fire and sheâd just - reacted.Â
Thereâs a bare moment of burning as his arms close around her, like that first moment when a strange man had given her a stranger ring, before it fades to the kind of comforting warmth sheâs only ever found with Killian. Then theyâre falling, falling, falling -Â
And then, blessed nothingness.)
(If this is the end - well, Emma will always wonder if they were able to save the Circus that so many call home. She hopes so. But if this is the end, sheâs glad to have faced it with him.)
âââ
The fire folds in on itself, absorbing both competitors as it extinguishes, and suddenly Mulan is the only one left at the metal grate. This turn of events is not what she expected, precisely, but it does not surprise her either.Â
Love makes one do foolish things. Mulan only wishes she had accepted that sooner.Â
The Circus is still around her, all the lives within it paused with the cessation of the lifeblood fire. It pulls at Mulan, too, but sheâs never much heeded such things if she does not want to. Thatâs the wonder of magic.Â
For now, thereâs nothing else to do but wait. Sheâd talked to Nicholas Zimmer beforehand, and Mulan knows there is still more that must be done. Young Mr. Zimmer hadnât seen Miss Swanâs sacrifice, but heâd seen the fire extinguished and an iron ring and all of them, there at the edges.Â
Heâd told her about another piece, too - someone who hasnât arrived yet. And if she isnât mistaken, that will be the crucial linchpin.Â
Mulan strolls leisurely towards the gate, prepared to wait as long as is necessary to see the end of this competition through.Â
âââ
When the brightness of the fire dims - or perhaps that blinding light had been the work of the spell; he had been a bit distracted by other things rather than sorting out the difference - Killian finds himself in the Labyrinth. Alone.
It is not what he expected.Â
The last thing he remembers is his arms around Emma, falling into nothing, but he wakes up to a familiar snowscape, all alone. Killian knows this maze like the back of his hand, however; has seen its chambers sprawled in paper across his desk, has watched each addition with joy and affection and wonder. There is nothing in this maze that can stop him from finding Emma - at least nothing thatâs been conjured yet.Â
Killian trails through all the familiar rooms theyâve built together these last several years: the playing cards and the paper animals and the room he knows is Emmaâs favorite, with plush cushions scattered on every surface and something floral drifting through the air.Â
The Circus has always been his - has been theirs - but this space more than any else.Â
He finally finds Emma in the paper seascape. Thatâs fitting in its own way, he supposes -Â to find her again in this room, where his love is written on every surface. Thereâs been an unnatural lightness even since he came back to himself in the snowy hall, something that means the ink never stains his shoes and he seems to pass straight through all the detritus of their surroundings, but Emma is warm and there when he cups her cheek. Thereâs something like heartbreak on her face, and something like exhaustion, but something like relief, too.
âKillian,â she breathes. âYou shouldnât be here.â
âShouldnât I?â It seems to him that heâs exactly where he ought to be.Â
âNo, you shouldnât! You should be in London, and safe. I had a plan - â
âAh, but I had a plan too,â he interrupts. âIn fact, you interrupted my particular plan.â
âTo - to sacrifice yourself? Allow me to win? What sort of plan was that?â
Can she be so obtuse? Or is she simply selfless to the point of self-destruction? âOne that would let you live.â
âAnd what use is that? Youâve got your brother, Belle -â
âBut I wouldnât have you.â Itâs baffling, the way she discounts her own worth to him. âDonât you understand, Emma? I told you I love you, and I meant it. What would my existence be if I survived at the cost of your own life? So yes, I was going to sacrifice myself, so that you could have the life that you deserve. I was trying to save you.â
âMaybe I didnât want that,â she says. Emma meets his gaze steadily as she lifts her hands to gently grasp his lapels, like sheâs imploring him to heed her words both in look and action. âI would have been alive, yes. But I wouldnât want that, if it meant losing you. I love you, Killian,â she tells him - certain, sure and strong. âI know I never said it, but I do. I have for a long time. If you were willing to do this because you love me - is it so hard to imagine Iâd do the same?â
Heâd known, on some level, that she loves him - or hoped as much, at least. But hearing the words still sends what left of his soul soaring and his hands pulling her into an embrace, head dipping to share a kiss. Theyâve had first kisses, and last kisses, and everything in between; happy kisses and sad kisses and so, so many scared kisses for all these years theyâve had to hide their love. This kiss now feels like something beautiful and new: a kiss tinged with the taste of freedom, that finally feels like their own. Maybe itâs absurd, under the circumstances, but Killian feels a lightness to his soul that makes him lift her on a whim until her face tilts down to meet his instead, spinning their entwined bodies in a slow circle. Itâs silly - but itâs joyful, too, in a way they arenât usually granted.
Theyâve earned a little lightness after all this dark, he thinks.Â
Killian brushes an escaped curl back behind Emmaâs ear once they finally separate and he sets her back on her own two feet. âI love you, Emma Swan,â he says. âI donât regret the choices Iâve made, not if it means we have this. Happy endings arenât always what we think, love - but if I get to spend it with you, thatâs plenty happy for me.â
Killian brings his mouth back to her own, savoring the way her smile tastes.Â
For the first time, it feels like they have all the time in the world.Â
âââ
âIt still weighs on me,â Emma confesses, once theyâve finally drunk their fill of kisses. âThe Circus, I mean. It pulls on me heavier than ever, and I have to spend so much concentration just to keep everything supported, and - â She sighs heavily. âIâm so tired, Killian. When will we get to rest?â
âSoon, I think.â He presses a kiss to her forehead, pulls her closer into his arms. Mulan has a plan, if heâs not mistaken; thereâs no other reason she would have been waiting for him tonight, already ready for his unexpected arrival. âJust hold on a little longer, love.â
Theyâve been pawns in someone elseâs game for so long; whatâs a few hours more?
âââ
The Circus arrives at night.Â
There is no warning, no whispers of what is coming, but Henry still keeps his eyes and ears open for news about the fields just outside of town, and he knows what those particular tents mean.
It has grown harder to imagine and to dream as the years have trudged on - eight of them, now, since Henry last saw the Circus when he was ten - but the news ignites a new fire in Henry that burns with the force of magic and memory. Once upon a time, when he was just a little, little boy, a not-quite princess in a black and white dress had promised him that the Circus would always be there for him; four years later, a different blonde had promised the same. But Henry has waited now, an entire two thirds of his life, and heâs done delaying those promises. This time, when the Circus leaves, Henry intends to go with it, one way or another.
The Circus arrives on a Thursday; these things never seem to happen on a day he has off work. The boys at the shipyard are already talking about the turn of events, discussing when to take sweethearts or siblings or families, and Henry - well, Henry shares the sentiment, in some ways. He canât wait to visit, either. But Henry doesnât have anyone to bring, the way they do; everyone heâd ever want to take is part of the Circus, leaving him the lone man out.Â
Itâs been raining all day, getting heavier and heavier as the day goes on. The Circus will close for inclement weather tonight, surely, but Henry takes the short trip out of town anyways. Thereâs something that draws him in to the site - this need to know, for certain, that this isnât just another dream. That the Circus is here, and waiting, just for him.
(He takes a brief detour home, first, on the kind of instinct heâll never be able to explain later. His little room doesnât hold much, and heâs attached to very little of it, but the white glove still lives in a discarded cigar box underneath his bed. Henry doesnât know what will happen next - if Avaâs offer still stands to run away with the Circus, if she and Nick will even recognize him after all the ways heâs changed - but he knows he wants this with him.Â
Itâs only later that he realizes just how lucky he was to have slipped the glove into his pocket.)
Thereâs a stillness about the place when he arrives, however, that belies even the expected closure sign. Henryâs been here before during inclement weather, but it never felt like this. The Circus has an energy about it thatâs somehow⊠missing now. Like somethingâs wrong.
(Henry hopes heâs wrong about that, but in his heart, he knows heâs not.)
Heâd assumed heâd have to break into the grounds again, though he hadnât been sure how. When Henry arrives, however, thereâs a woman already waiting at the front gates, huddled underneath an umbrella to block out the worst of the rain. Thereâs a sword at her side and she wears intricate Chinese armor in the same blacks and whites and silvers of the Circus, though Henry does not yet recognize her on sight. Beyond her, the Circus is silent and still, like sheâs standing guard over everything within those gates.Â
âHenry Mills, I presume?â Her voice holds a gravitas that belies its soft volume. Henry nods cautiously in return. âWeâve been expecting you.â
âYou have?â It takes a moment before the first part of that sentence hits home. âWait - how do you know my name?â
âThe Zimmer twins speak highly of you,â the woman tells him before turning on her heel and starting down one of the paths at a brisk pace. âNow come along, keep up. We donât have much time.â
âNot much time for what?â
She slows briefly, just long enough to cast a wry look in his direction. âYou ask a lot of questions, donât you?â
âI know the Circus is magic,â he says. No one ever told him as such so bluntly, but Henry had put it together over time. Certain things just canât be explained, certain things in the same category as Nickâs second sight - and besides, heâd been young enough to believe it, back when he first realized. âI know things happen here that shouldnât be possible, but are. Itâs wonderful.â
âIt is. Itâs also complicated,â she tells him. âThe Circus exists because of a competition, and because of its two players. Theyâve built something beautiful. But do you know what happens in competitions?â Before Henry can answer, thereâs an odd noise. Just over the womanâs shoulder, one of the smaller tents starts to cave in on itself. She nods like thatâs enough of an answer - and when she speaks, Henry realizes that maybe, it is. âThey end,â she tells him. âThis way will be quicker; as I said, we havenât much time.â
âSo this⊠competition,â he prods. âItâs over? Thatâs why the Circus is falling apart?â
âYes⊠And no,â his guide replies cryptically. Itâs frustrating, asking so many questions and receiving so few answers.Â
âYouâre enjoying this, arenât you?â
âOh, young Henry. Thereâs nothing enjoyable about this.â They walk on in silence for a moment, veering off down another path, before she speaks again. âOne of our contestants, Mr. Jones, was prepared to take himself off the board, and I was prepared to help him do so in a way that would provide something like a permanent spine for the Circus. Miss Swan, however, interfered, resulting in some⊠unexpected circumstances.â With that, she draws back the flap to the tall acrobatsâ tent.Â
The group inside looks like an inclement weather party interrupted. Tables are still laden with food, candles flowing warmly. Every living thing within the tent, however, is frozen in unnatural stillness. Some people are clearly mid-conversation, or mid action, bites of food stilled halfway to mouths and hands stilled mid-gesture. A group of musicians appear to have been mid-song, instruments still raised in a playing position.
(Even as they stand there, watching the stillness, one of the chairs suspended from the roof of the tent for the acrobats to perform with drops, barely missing a clustered group as it shatters on the ground. The Circus may have been suspended too - but for how long?)
âIn many ways, the Circus was built on the love Emma held for each and every person within its bounds; maybe not at first, but over time, itâs become inseparable from the very fabric, like the supports holding it all up,â she explains. âWhen Emma and Mr. Jones folded themselves into the Circus⊠I donât know if itâs something one of them has done purposefully, or if the Circus or the magic has acted of its own accord, but this place protects its own. But that canât last forever. Thatâs where you come in. What weâre about to ask you - it will make sure the Circus survives, but it cannot be done without your help.â
It is a lot to spring on a person, especially one that this woman doesnât know, but Henry already knows his answer. âWhat do you need me to do?â
(What else would he say, when whatâs at stake is a place like this and all the people it protects?)
âNo hesitation? Just jumping in feet first without all the details? Thatâs an awful bold decision, Mr. Mills.â
(âI thought you said this was a shortcut,â Henry mentions when they finally slip back out of the acrobatsâ tent, veering sharply in a new direction.Â
âIt was a shortcut in explanation. If you assumed it would be a shortcut in distance - well, that was your assumption, not my words.â)
They finally halt in front of a tall tent with light faintly glowing beneath the fold of the fabric opening, just illuminating where the words Wishing Tree glimmer in the scant moonlight on a subtle sign. Under other circumstances, Henry might have marveled at the elegant branches stretching around the tent, illuminated in softly glowing candlelight; tonight, heâs more distracted by the two nearly-translucent figures standing at its base, a man and a woman. The woman he recognizes as the magician - Emma, the person whoâd first made this place feel like home. The man is unknown to him, but certainly not to Emma; he leans into her space as if drawn to her by magnets. Maybe itâs just practical - this not-Emma seems barely able to stand upright, and the manâs arm around her waist seems more like a lifeline than a simple comfort - but Henry thinks itâs more than that. The man looks at Emma with worry, yes, but with awe too. Like he canât believe heâs here with her, even in such a way.Â
Henry may be young, but he can still recognize love when he sees it.Â
âI take it that you remember Miss Swan?â his guide asks. âAnd beside her is Mr. Jones.â
âMulan, why have you brought him here?â Emma asks.Â
âYou needed a solution, and Iâve found you one.â
âThis is your solution?â Emma asks. Somehow, the emphasis sounds concerned rather than derogatory. âAre you sure?â
âHe is willing.â
âHeâs a child.â
âIâm eighteen,â Henry mumbles. âAnd Iâm right here.â
âHe tried to run away and join the Circus two years ago. Did you know that?â his guide asks Emma, still ignoring Henry. Mulan. Heâll have to remember that, if they ever allow him to speak. âHe loves the Circus. It is enough.â
âIs that true, Henry? Do you love the Circus?â the man - Mr. Jones - asks. âWhat weâre about to ask you - it will require a deep love, not a passing whimsy. So forgive me for asking, but be honest with me - do you love the Circus? Enough to make significant sacrifices?â
âMore than anything.â Maybe it sounds fanciful - maybe it sounds naive - but itâs the truth: maybe even the greatest truth that Henry knows. âIâm an orphan - a foundling. I donât know if you remember that,â he says with a nod to Emma. âThere are so many things I havenât had in my life - opportunity and family and home. But the CircusâŠâ He pauses before pressing a closed fist to his heart. âWhen Iâm here, I feel something in here. Like contentment, maybe. I love this place because itâs wonderful, but I love it mostly because it feels like a home.â
âWhat weâre asking you is to bind yourself to the Circus, Henry,â Emma tells him. âYou wouldnât be able to leave, not for long periods of time. We can bind you in a way so that the Circus does not press on you the way it presses on us, but it will still be yours, in a permanent sort of way. This will not be something you can undo, not without breaking quite a bit of complicated magic and undertaking quite a bit of effort.â
âBut it will save the Circus? And save both of you?â Henry doesnât know much about love, he thinks - not yet, at least - but he knows already itâs worth preserving.Â
Emma nods. âWe believe so.â
âThen what do you need me to do?â
âââ
The bonfire is the living heart of the Circus, Mr. Jones had explained to Henry before sending him back out into the night. If we have any hope of saving it, and transferring the Circus into your hands, youâll have to restart the flame.Â
It had sounded so easy, phrased like that: a matter of some matches and some luck of the weather. But this is magic, and Henry is slowly realizing that with magic nothing is quite that straightforward. Emma and Mr. Jones have come up with a list of items heâll need, like ingredients: bits and bobs he wouldnât have thought meant anything (a certain vial from a tent full of glassware, an abandoned hat at the edge of a burned-out fire, a black velvet jacket draped across the back of a chair in a secluded train car), but are apparently crucial to making this work.Â
Mulan drifts back into his vision as he collects the hat, a sudden and startling presence somehow more other-worldly than her ghostly compatriots. Thereâs a card laying in the dirt beside the upturned hat - a tarot card, like heâd seen so many years ago in a tent of this very circus. This card features a surprisingly placid man suspended by his feet and the inscription The Hanged Man.Â
Mulan huffs a subtle laugh over Henryâs shoulder as he picks up the card. âIt is fitting, is it not?â she asks. âWe are all suspended here, waiting for whatever may yet still come to pass. Itâs the brink of something more.âÂ
âYou know tarot?â
âI know many things, Mr. Mills,â she says. âThis just happens to be one of them.â
Henry takes the card with him as they leave. Somehow, it feels like a piece to this story yet to unfold, even if it is not one he was directed to collect.Â
(On a whim, he slips Avaâs glove out of his pocket as well and adds it to the pile - his one tie to the Circus all these years. Maybe itâs foolish, but it feels right too.)
The leaves of the Wishing Tree have started to fall once Henry and Mulan return to the tent, Emma visibly exhausted in the middle of it all. Mr. Jonesâ face is creased with concern, his hands fluttering to soothe and support, but thereâs only so much that can be done when the Circus is trying to collapse in on itself.Â
âYouâve found everything?â Mr. Jones asks. His tone is sharp, though Henry canât much blame him; under the circumstances, responding that way seems almost reasonable. Henry nods, lifting his haul instead of tendering a proper response. Mr. Jones nods briskly in turn. âGood lad. Now, weâll need to move to the fire cauldron - â
âHenry,â Emma interrupts, her voice tired but firm. âAre you certain? I know we are asking so much of you, and I know you already said yes, but I want you to know itâs alright to say no. This isnât something you should be pressured into, and no one will be upset if you decide you canât.â
Henry doesnât really understand all of where this is coming from - not really. Heâs only interacted with Emma less than a handful of times since he was a boy, and only briefly at that. But even in that short time, itâs been easy to see how the Circus presses on her, especially now. It is kind of her to try to ensure the same thing wonât happen to him, not without communicating the risk.Â
Still. There are things worth taking risks for, and making sacrifices for. In some ways, Henry thinks he made his choice long ago.Â
âItâs okay.â Henry reaches out a hand towards Emma without thinking, like some kind of reassurance he isnât quite sure how to give, only for his hand to pass right through her own. âI meant what I said before. The Circus feels like it could be a home for me, and I want to protect that. But alsoâŠâ He pauses. âThis feels like something Iâm supposed to do. Like maybe, this is the reason Iâve always felt so drawn to the Circus. Maybe this is what everything has been leading to for as long as Iâve been alive. Does that make sense?â
âIt does.â Emmaâs hand isnât quite solid when it comes to rest against his cheek, but thereâs something there - the ghost of a touch, and all the comfort it still brings. âIâm proud of you.â
âNot to interrupt a touching scene,â Mulan interrupts, âbut time is of the essence. If Henry intends to take the mantle of the Circus, we need to act now. Before itâs too late.â
âââ
It feels deceptively easy, in the end. Henry carefully wraps all the bits and bobs heâd collected up with a length of yarn Mulan seems to pull out of nowhere, tying them into a misshapen parcel that he places into the cauldron. At Mr. Jonesâ direction, he extracts a nondescript volume from beneath the cauldron itself. Dozens of signatures line each page, the smallest dot of blood punctuating the end of each name. Meticulously, Henry adds his own name to the book. The twists and loops of his name look so insignificant on the page, but he knows itâs a momentous thing heâs just done. As Henry presses his own thumb to the paper, blood beading from the digit where heâd sliced the skin with a pocket knife, thereâs a kind of energy that chases through his whole body. Magic - beautiful and mysterious and binding.Â
Eventually, thereâs nothing left to do but get it over with. Henry holds a candle from the Wishing Tree in one hand, just waiting for his cue to light it and re-ignite the fire. Thereâs magic in a wish, Emma had told him before sending him for the ingredients. I think we can use all the magic we can get.Â
âThereâs one more thing,â Mr. Jones - Killian tells Henry. Heâs more stable than the flickering illusion of Emma, but heâs still ghostly, tents foggily visible through his middle. âTo make this as stable as possible, weâll need to bind you to the Circus.â
âIsnât that what weâre doing? I thought thatâs why I signed the ledger.â
âIn a way, yes,â Killian agrees. âBut what weâre asking you to do - thatâs a different kind of bond than the book. The rest of the individuals who signed donât carry the Circus the way youâll have to. Emma and I - when we were young, we were bound to this venue before it even existed. We think doing something similar now will make it more likely this transfer will be successful.â
âAnd it wonâtâŠâ Henry pauses. âI know that whatever bond you had with the Circus was slowly killing Emma.â
âThe man and woman who sealed our bonds - they didnât much care what happened to a pair of pawns,â Emma explains. âWe arenât in danger of making that same mistake.â
âThen do it.â
âGood lad,â Killian smiles. With a touch of his hand, a curl on the cauldron lengthens until itâs twisted into an iron ring, breaking off neatly into his palm. As he waits, Henry fiddles with the candle he still holds, digging his fingernails into the wax. The enormity of it all is starting to set in, ushering in nerves along with it.Â
âThat has always been my favorite tent, you know,â Killian tells Henry, nodding towards the candle. If heâs not mistaken, the older man is trying to deflect his anxieties about whatâs about to happen; even knowing that, Henry gladly seizes on the distraction offered. As he talks, his fingers sketch complicated figures in the air, making the iron ring in his palm alternately glow silver and gold and every shade in between. Henry knows Emmaâs magic now, can recognize it like an old friend, but this is something different. Itâs marvelous in its own way, a way that isnât even in comparison but just⊠is.Â
âIs it one of yours?â Henry asks, trying to be polite even with his heart lodged in his throat. Heâs entering into this willingly - wants it with every fiber of his being, wants it because it feels right in a way he canât understand, let alone explain - but that doesnât do anything to make him less nervous.Â
Killian smiles absentmindedly, most of his attention still devoted to his strange symbols. âEmmaâs, actually,â he comments. âItâs beautiful, isnât it? It always feels like an old magic to me. Something more than either of the two of us.â
âDid you ever make a wish?â
Whatever emotion dances across Killianâs face is⊠complicated. Something wistful and joyful and sad and yearning, all at once. âI did.â His hands finally still in the air. The little loop of metal ceases its glow, the light fading away, but thereâs still a sense of something surrounding it - an aura, perhaps, or pure, radiating power, something reminiscent of what heâd felt when heâd pressed his blood to the page. One tiny object with the power to change countless lives. Henryâs eyes canât look away from the ring, even as Killian continues talking. âDo you know what I wished for?â
Henry shakes his head. Killianâs hand is not-quite-there as it lifts his own, ready to perform the binding. This time, the smile on his face is unmistakable as he leans to speak quietly into Henryâs ear. âI wished for her.â
And then it burns, the ring shrinking to fit Henryâs finger as it sears into his skin. Thereâs a part of Henry that wants to pull the damned thing off, but he knows this is necessary, knows it wouldnât work anyways. Emmaâs still smiling through her exhaustion like sheâs proud of him, and Killian watches him, sure and steady, and Mulan is lighting the candle still in Henryâs hand -Â
It is terrifying, and painful, but Henry realizes with an abrupt burst of clarity that maybe the best things are.Â
The candle flickers in his hand, its flame growing stronger even as the burning pain on his finger starts to recede. Maybe heâs ready, or maybe heâs not, but the moment is here and what other choice do they have and unfurling his grasp is suddenly the most momentous thing heâll ever do and -Â
âââ
- and Emmaâs heart feels lodged in her throat as she watches Killian and Henry, even as it takes all her concentration just to hold her being together in the visible plane. Henryâs so grown now, and so brave; heâs in obvious pain as the bond sets in, a hurt Emma knows all too well, but he grits his teeth and bears it. And then Mulanâs pressing the lit candle into his hand, and itâs all come to a head so fast, and heâs dropping the candle into the cauldron, and -Â
âââ
- and the entire world is fire. The bonfire blazes higher than it ever has as the new bonds catch and hold, and something shifts within Killian, some pressure heâd never even noticed finally easing. The flames spiral upwards and outwards in countless shades of red and orange and yellow and blue and silver, twirling across the black and white grounds of the Circus. Itâs reminiscent of opening night, in that way - but this time, thereâs no one around to see it.Â
Thatâs fitting, Killian decides. Just right for the new beginning that will be ushered in tonight. A new wish, and a new flame, for all of the things still to come.Â
In a golden blaze, Killian lets himself be swept away.Â
âââ
(Sheâd never been certain it would work, really. Sheâd hoped, of course; done everything she could to make it happen. But thereâs a vast difference between hoping and certitude, and Emma had been nowhere near the latter. Everything thatâs happened here tonight has been out of desperation more than anything, her last throwaway attempt to maybe leave something more than rubble behind for all the people whoâve come to call the Circus home.Â
She certainly didnât expect Killian, or Henry. She didnât expect that maybe, just possibly, there was an imperfect solution that still feels like her own little bit of fate.Â
When the bright burst of light put off by the campfire as the new bond takes effect settles, the rest of the world seems to only exist in fuzzy edges - less crisp and clean, like sheâs no longer quite part of it all anymore. The entire soft world is the Circus, now, all black and white with just the flames within their iron cauldron for color - except -Â
There, standing on the other side of the flames, is Killian.Â
Nothing feels quite real as they drift together, circling the metal edge. Killianâs hand is soft when it falls against her cheek, cupping gently. Only yesterday, this was unthinkable - the thing sheâd have to give up for anything to possibly turn out the way it should.
âWe did it, love,â he murmurs. His smile is one Emma doesnât think sheâs ever seen - something sad and joyful all at once. Peaceful, in a way theyâve never been allowed to be.Â
âWhat happens now?â Emma asks, stepping closer into his embrace.Â
âThatâs the best thing of all.â His other hand slides up to cup her face with the first. âAnything we want.â
It isnât - Emma knows it isnât - but in this moment, standing amongst the dying sparks, his lips almost feel like a first kiss.
A new beginning. Who knew such a thing could still happen for them?)
âââ
An ocean away, a man older than names themselves sits up straighter in his plush armchair. Not many things disturb him in his discreet townhouse in a quiet corner of London, and thatâs the way he likes it. Heâs been satisfied, after all these years, to fade out of human notice, even as he still endures. Leave the hassles and worries of everyday life to those younger than him, who have seen far less. After so long, there is not much that can surprise the man known to some as Mr. Gold.
Now, though - there is something in the atmosphere. Some indefinable shift - like the world had briefly held its breath before once again exhaling. A shift in the magic that heâs played a distant hand in for some three decades.Â
It is not the feeling of the competition having been won - heâs well acquainted with that particular shift in the universe, thank you - but itâs⊠something. Something unprecedented and new. Something that seems to have broken the very construct of this little game. A standstill, or a limbo, or a detente.Â
The man smiles. Oh, Regina is going to be so very put out about this whole thing.Â
A glass of brandy sits on the side table where it hadnât been just moments before, just waiting for the man to raise it in toast. âWell done, Mr. Jones,â he murmurs, the smile still playing about his mouth. âWell done, indeed.â
A teacher should always hope for their students to break new ground, after all - and it seems that Killian Jones has done just that.Â
âââ
A man comes to the circus, searching for something like so many before him.
(The difference is that this man knows that heâs searching, and exactly what heâs searching for.)
Liam Jones has grown used to the unusual demands of his brotherâs particular commitment - the odd hours, the days or even weeks without contact, the unusual, last minute travel. But itâs been six weeks without so much as a letter or telegram, and Liam is worried. For everything else demanding Killianâs attention, heâs always been careful to stay in touch with his brother.Â
Mr. Booth offers no insight, nor does Killianâs friend Belle - now a respectable married lady instead of the occultist and fortune teller she had been. His little brotherâs mysterious teacher is nowhere to be found, not that Liam expected any different. By a stroke of luck, the Circus is in town, and Liam resolves to visit himself as a last resort.Â
Heâs had the opportunity to visit the circus many times over the years as a guest of his brother, but the well-trod grounds suddenly feel⊠different. Liam has never possessed any semblance of the powers his brother boasted, but it doesnât take a magical insight to feel a new energy in the air when itâs this strong. The circus has always felt otherworldly, nearly unknowable, but thereâs a curious sense of the familiar thatâs never been here before.Â
âExcuse me,â comes a polite, young voice at his side. Turning quickly, Liam sees a young woman, dressed in the black and white garb all the circus members wear. âAre you Mr. Jonesâ brother?â
âYes!â Liam latches on to the inquiry like a lifeline, like his one chance to find his brother. âDo you know where he is?â
âHeâs okay,â the girl promises. âHeâs not here anymore. Heâs in the circus now.â
And that doesnât make sense, because theyâre at the circus, but she says heâs not there - and what can in the circ
us mean, if heâs not here? Killian isnât the type to run off and become an illusionist or an acrobat, for all of his powers. âWhat do you mean? Where is he?â
But the girl runs off, leaving Liam grasping at the night.Â
âHeâs here, but heâs not,â a different voice chimes in - older, softer - causing Laim to whirl about again. A woman - petite, blonde, lovely, dressed all in blue - smiles gently at him. âDo you know about the competition your brother was involved in?â
âWho are you?â Liam demands instead of answering. Itâs not courteous by any means, especially to a lady like herself, but heâs a little too desperate for the niceties.
âMy name is Elsa Frost,â she introduces herself with a nod. âIâm one of the people who helped design this venue.â
âSo you know my brother then? Where is he?â
âAva wasnât lying,â Miss Frost explains, patient in a way that doesnât feel patronizing. âHeâs a part of the circus. Your brother⊠I donât know how much you know, but he was a player in someone elseâs competition.â
âYes, his teacherâs. Killian never knew the specifics, just that it would play out here, and one day, thereâd be a winner.â Abruptly, Liamâs blood freezes in his veins. âDonât tell me heâsâŠâ
Miss Frost continues without answering, as if she didnât even hear him. âThereâs only one way for these competitions to end, at least the way I understand it. But that was never enough of an answer for your brother - especially after he met Emma. He fell in love, did you know that?â
Liam shakes his head in the negative. Truthfully, the more Miss Frost talks, the more he sees how much Killian kept hidden from him - likely to protect Liam in the same way Liam had protected him as a child.
âItâs true. I think it was the best and worst thing that ever happened to him. Emma is - was the illusionist, here at the circus,â Miss Frost confides. âShe was also his competitor. And it was suddenly unthinkable that he would lose - but even more unthinkable that he would win.â
None of this assuages the sinking, horrible feeling in Liamâs stomach. âHe didnât ââ
âHeâs not dead,â she assures him, lifting that boulder off his chest. âBut heâs not quite alive either. He and Emma⊠they were the very heart of this place. It all rested on their shoulders - all those lives, as well as their own. They were what kept it going. And they found a loophole.â
Comprehension dawns slowly. âHeâs in the circus. You mean heâs - theyâre ââ Liam waves his hands about, as if to illustrate. Everywhere. Nowhere. The heartbeat that keeps it all moving. The reason all this ever existed and still exists now.
âHeâs in the circus. They both are,â Miss Frost confirms.
âAnd you?â
âI beg your pardon?â
âYou know an awful lot about all this,â Liam points out. âHow is that?â
âIâve always seen a bit more than people realize,â she explains. âItâs how I became involved in designing the circus in the first place. Itâs a blessing and a curse, being privy to the secret that magic exists. It was never within my power to interfere ââ she almost sounds apologetic saying it, as if it was on her shoulders to stop what happened here â âbut that doesnât mean I didnât see.â
Gazing around him, Liam canât help but see all the lives tied so closely to the circus - dozens, scores, maybe a hundred. Theyâve made lives here, in the past twelve years - and thanks to Killian, those lives can continue.Â
âWe were all just collateral damage,â he murmurs.
âPerhaps,â Miss Frost agrees. âBut even knowing I was just a pawn in someone elseâs game⊠I canât bring myself to regret it, or trade one moment for the beauty that came out of it. And I think your brother would have felt the same. This entire circus is his love letter to his competition,â she waves, âand I canât imagine heâd trade one piece if it meant he never met her.â
Around Liam, the circus sparkles with vibrant life as if to illustrate. Or maybe to agree; if Killian and the circus are one, now, that doesnât seem out of the realm of possibility.
âA man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets,â Liam murmurs. And he knows - his little brother certainly did fight.Â
âWhatâs that?â
âNothing,â Liam replies, smiling down at his companion. âJust something I used to tell my brother.â He can feel his brother all around him, that energy he couldnât name at first, and allows it to make him a little bold himself. âWould you like to show me the circus, Miss Frost, at least as you know it?â
A serene smile stretches across her features like a gift just for him. âIt would be my pleasure, Mr. Jones.â
(Somewhere on the wind, just at the edges of his hearing, a voice tickles Liamâs ear as they begin to walk.
Farewell, Brother.)
âââ
Itâs been five years since Belle last saw Killian Jones, and she hasnât been back to the Circus since.Â
She makes her excuses, of course - the timing was never quite right when the Circus came to town, and sheâs got a young son, and itâs good to have this distance, isnât it? Healthy, to fully separate herself from the life she used to lead as she builds herself a new one.Â
(Theyâre just excuses, though, she knows. The truth of the matter is that itâs hard to imagine the Circus without her friend, even if she has long accepted what has happened.)
It takes five years, but this time, when the Circus sets up its tents at the outskirts of London, Belle bundles up her toddler and coaxes her husband out the door and sets out to face her past. On her way out the door, she slips her old tarot deck, now incomplete, into a pocket. Perhaps itâs silly, but it feels right to bring them back to the place where this all started.Â
In so many ways, the Circus is still the same. That peculiar atmosphere of magic and sheer possibility still persists, and the tents are much as she remembers them. It is easier than she thought it would be, to retread these paths; the memory of the man who made this place so much of what it is still lingers, but in a way that helps her remember, rather than in a way that causes her pain. Life goes on, even in the face of loss, even in a place like this.Â
As Will steps away to procure popcorn and cider for them all, Belle catches a glimpse of a face she half-remembers - that of a young man with a mop of dark hair, dressed in a neat black suit with a silvery waistcoat. When the memory drifts to the front of her mind, it makes Belle smile. Sheâd always wondered what sort of journey that boy had ahead of him.Â
âHenry, was it?â she asks, approaching him with her son at her skirts. âI donât know if you remember me, but - â
âThe fortune teller, right?â Henry interrupts, delight dancing in his eyes. âYes, of course I remember. Belle.â
âThe only one to ever ask my name - well, at least until my husband,â she teases. âYou are well, then? And⊠involved with the Circus, perhaps?â She still hasnât forgotten that mysterious reading from some ten years before; something about young Henry had always stuck in her mind, even in the midst of hundreds and thousands of others seeking clarity.
âYou could say that,â he laughs. Patting at his pockets for a moment, he pulls out a sleek business card and hands it to Belle. âIâm acting as the manager now.â
It suits him, Belle realizes; thereâs a peace about this young man, now, that she hadnât seen back when he was a boy. Henry knows his place in the world, and knows heâs right where he needs to be. She smiles warmly at him. âIâm sure youâre doing a wonderful job.â
Henry looks down bashfully, shrugging in casual acceptance. âThank you. Iâm doing my best. After Miss Swan and Mr. Jones⊠leftâŠâ Thereâs a whole world of things heâs not saying with that word, things Belle only knows because of Mulan and because she played her own role. âSomeone needed to take responsibility for the Circus. Mulan has been a big help. Ava and Nick, too. This place - itâs just too remarkable to let die.â
âIt sounds like you still love the Circus more than anything.â
Henryâs eyes practically glow when he smiles. âYeah. Yeah, I do.â
And with a sudden bolt of clarity, Belle knows why sheâd tucked her old cards into her pocket on her way to the Circus.
âIâve got something for you,â she tells him, hurriedly retrieving the deck. Belle draws a card at random, but smiles when she catches a glimpse of which sheâd selected. Itâs terribly fitting, though Henry may not realize it at first. âHere. For you,â she says, handing Henry the Ace of Wands.Â
Henry turns the card carefully in his fingers. âAfter receiving the Fool last time, I canât truly tell whether this is an improvement or a downgrade for me.â
âNeither. Tarot isnât like that,â she explains. âBack then - what, a decade ago? - you were just a young man, beginning your journey, still with so much to learn. The Fool was fitting for that. Many who donât understand the tarot place undue importance on the major arcana - on the âface cards,â but each card in a deck means something. Each and every one. The Ace of Wands is the spark that makes things possible, the match that sets knowledge and understanding alight. Just because it isnât flashy doesnât mean it isnât important. Itâs a card that makes things happen, regardless of whether that is where your eye is drawn. It is revitalization and birthing light from the dark.â She pauses. âDo you understand?â
Henry nods, tucking the card carefully into his breast pocket. âA fitting card for a new beginning.â
âPrecisely.â On impulse, Belle stretches a hand to lightly pat Henryâs cheek. Heâs grown so tall since she last saw him, no longer that gangly boy. âTake care of yourself, Henry, and take care of the Circus. I canât wait to see what you both become.â
It feels like closure of a kind she didnât know she needed as Belle sets back off down the path with her son, weaving through the crowd to reunite with Will.Â
âMama, can we go ride the carousel?â her son asks at her side, hand still so small within her own grasp.
Belle smiles. âI think thatâs a wonderful idea, Killian.â
(Legacy, sheâs realized, comes in many forms. Memory can be a living thing, if only you wish it to be.)
âââ
The Circus has changed over the years: new tents appear, old faces fade away, the grounds expand and spiral into new patterns. It never feels different, exactly, no matter how much may change. The Circus is like its own living organism; its layout may grow, and its features may change, but its soul remains the same.Â
You remember the first time youâd seen the Wishing Tree. Itâd been beautiful then, too - that special kind of otherworldly that only exists at the Circus. In the time since then, this tent has grown outwards to accommodate the living tree, but its branches still swoop low to envelop the space like a hug as you walk in. The branches are clustered with dozens and hundreds of candles, now. The whole thing casts a warm glow in the space thatâs never quite still, yet another living, breathing thing.Â
(Thereâs a hole at the top of the tent now, too - something new that wasnât there before. It isnât particularly big, but itâs enough to see the star-speckled sky beyond. Enough, too, to allow wishes to take flight, off into the wondrous unknown universe.)
Itâs awe-inducing, witnessing all the candles left alight, each one representing the dearest wish of the individual who left it. Itâs a beautiful reminder of all the things you canât know about others: all those innermost hopes and dreams that may never be spoken, but exist all the same. You notice, suddenly, that thereâs one candle at the center of the tree where the core branches stretch out thatâs unlit. If you squint, you can just see that itâs been extinguished, somehow - the one column of wax on the tree without a flame to match. It is curious; dozens and hundreds of candles, placed on every surface, and only one has been put out.Â
Maybe itâs an accident; maybe itâs a draft. Or maybe, just possibly, itâs a wish thatâs been granted, left here for all to see that hope.Â
You leave again after placing your own candle, heart lighter for it, as your own wish drifts into the night.Â
âââ
Regina doesnât quite win this particular contest, but she doesnât particularly lose it either. The uncertainty of the matter follows her like an especially annoying gnat - something she wants nothing to do with, but is attached to her regardless. She doesnât have much use for her 35% stake, though doubtless others would feel differently. Economics is another little pest in a life such as hers.
If anything, she supposes that Emma has won, and Goldâs wretched boy, and maybe even the Circus itself. It was only supposed to be the venue, and should have collapsed once the competition was over. But Emma, that stupid girl, did something the night she wove herself and that boy into the circus, something that has kept it puttering along for ten years, just the way it always has.
(She may have trapped herself in limbo when she made that sacrifice, but her little loophole managed to trap Regina and Gold as well. With their competition not technically completed, thereâs an uncertainty about whether theyâre able to start another - or whether they even want to. No matter the boredom, Regina could use a break from this mentorship nonsense. Maybe in another century sheâll be bored enough to agree to that.)
This particular afternoon, like so many, Regina takes her tea in the tea room of an expensive London hotel. She has another show tonight, another chance to take the money of so many unbelieving fools, but afternoons are hers, to watch and be watched. Thereâs a certain fascination to observing the blind crowds, eternally unaware of an entire world of magic existing right under their noses. They know something draws their eyes to the center single table where Regina takes her tea and scones - their subconscious pulling their attention where their conscious mind wonât take the leap - but theyâll never know why. Most assume itâs her striking looks, or impeccable and sumptuous clothing, but theyâll never guess itâs the echo of magic, of power calling to the minds and imaginations. Itâs like a secret she holds over the entire world, and Regina has always reveled in that.
Today, however, is different. Today, a young man and woman approach her table arm in arm with a boldness most are too afraid to attempt. They make a picturesque couple, if an odd one; the man, tall and lanky with dark hair, could easily blend into a crowd with his generic suit and amiable smile, but his companion certainly could not say the same, perhaps best described as eccentric. Her dress and hat are close enough to the current fashion, but all in a riot of colors and patterns that blend more than truly match. She looks a bit familiar; belatedly, Regina realizes that sheâs the girl-child from the circus. Anna or Ada or⊠something. It never much mattered; the twins were a particular pet project of Emmaâs, though Regina had many times told her to focus her attention instead on the competition at hand. Not that it had done any good - on any level.Â
âMadam Circe?â the girl - woman, now - asks politely. âYou may not remember me, but my name is Ava Zimmer. This is Henry Mills. Weâre here about the circus.â
âNo relation, Iâm sure,â Regina drawls, nodding in acquiescence towards a pair of chairs that may or may not have sat at the table before that very moment. No one will remember it, anyways.
âYou would know better than I,â young Mills smiles. With a sweep of Avaâs hand at his side, Reginaâs teacup replicates itself into three, enough porcelain for everyone to enjoy the brew Regina herself has kept refilled and at perfect temperature.Â
(It suddenly makes a bit more sense why Emma had taken such an interest in the girl and her brother. If nothing else, Regina had taught her protegee to recognize power and potential.)
âWell. Arenât you full of surprises,â is all she says as the duo seats themselves. âYouâre here about the Circus, you said? Iâm not sure I have any real right to speak on such a thing.â
âPerhaps. Perhaps not,â Mr. Mills responds. âPerhaps more than you think.â
âI take it you are aware of the circumstances of Emma Swanâs and Killian Jonesâ⊠disappearance?â Miss Zimmer asks. As if thatâs the polite way to phrase such a thing.Â
âAs my acolyte - yes, I am. I should certainly hope so.â
âThen you are aware that Emma - when she left, she left her portion of the Circus to the Circus. Itâs self-supporting, these days, instead of tied to any single person. Well, mostly.â
âI advise you get to the point, Miss Zimmer. I was not led to believe this was a social call.â
âYou have a claim on the Circus,â Mr. Mills interjects. âDid you know that?â
âI wouldnât use those terms, but I suppose I was instrumental in its creation. If such a thing constitutes a claim.â
âPer the magic that fuels it - it does,â Miss Zimmer tells her. She pulls out a heavy tome; it makes a weighty sound as it lands on the surface of the delicate table, but no one else notices. If she attunes her senses, Regina can sense something like a shield around their table that deflects attention.Â
Ava Zimmer must be very talented, indeed.Â
âMr. Jones created this when the Circus was formed,â she explains, tabbing through the pages. âEach and every person is bound to this book. It seems to be part of what has stopped us from aging. This is the lifeblood of the Circus,â she proclaims solemnly, her hand splayed across the pages.Â
âItâs a clever bit of spellwork, yes,â Regina agrees. âI, however, have my own methods.â
Mr. Mills bows his head briefly in her direction; Regina canât tell whether the gesture is meant in genuine deference or something more sarcastic. âWe wouldnât dream of suggesting otherwise. That does not change the fact, however, that your signature is still included on these pages.â
âAnd you would like to change that.â
âIf you donât mind.â Miss Zimmer slides a delicate blade across the table in Reginaâs direction. âYour interest in our endeavor, I think, is over. Weâd just like to make that official.âÂ
Regina carefully picks up the knife. Itâs a beautiful instrument, the strains of gold and silver perfectly conducive to magic, though currently dormant. It would be so easy to channel her own powers, slice the delicate threads of enchantment that binds her signature to the book and herself to the endeavor, but -Â
âSuppose I do you this favor. What do I get in return?â
Mills furrows his brow. âIs your release from the Circus not enough?â
âRelease from something that hasnât been a burden? I wouldnât call that much of a return.â
âWhat do you want, then?â
Thereâs so many things she could say, and so few these children could provide. They are so young, and have seen so little, still so idealistically convinced of the goodness of the endeavor.
Still. There is one thing.Â
âYou were there that night, yes? When my acolyte⊠did this foolish thing?â
Mills nods, solemnly.Â
âThen I want you to tell me.â
âThatâs all?â Miss Zimmer is clearly incredulous of the proposal; good. Thatâll serve her well, in the long run.Â
âThatâs all. Tell me the story, and Iâll gladly remove myself from your little fairground for good.â
The young man smiles, leaning back in his chair. âAlright,â he tells her. âBut let me start from the beginning.
âOnce, in an orphanage outside of Boston, a young boy fell in love with a magical circusâŠâ
âââ
The circus is a marvel.
Itâs been in operation for years, now - nearly three decades, if memory and the kindly concessions vendor are to be believed - but the aura of wonder, of magic remains. The circus is another world all its own, separated from the rest of the planet even as it exists in the center of it.
There are changes, of course; itâs impossible to expect that everything and everyone would stay static all this time. That would take a true feat of magic. Older visitors in particular remember when there was a tent with a magician, a beautiful young woman capable of the most extraordinary things. Thereâs a statue, now, outside where the tent used to be, of two lovers embracing, hands stroking faces in a display that almost feels too intimate to be captured in marble for everyone to see.
Thereâs a legend now, too, a rumor of a story to match that statue - of two lovers, pitted against one another in life, whose souls are now free to roam the circus grounds together. Thereâs whispers, too, that thatâs what happened to the missing magician - that the statue is for her memory, and that of her young man. In a way, it would be fitting for her to live on as part of the circus itself. They say that the loversâ reflections can sometimes be seen in the hall of mirrors, or the brush of a long skirt felt on the carousel, or a warm and masculine voice heard in the ice gardenâŠ
Itâs hard to imagine anything so tragic happening at the circus; then again, itâs the one place on earth you can imagine something quite so magical and romantic occurring. At the end of the night, thereâs no real answer. Youâre not certain you need one.
(As you wind your way back towards the gates as the sun starts to rise, you donât notice two pairs of not-quite eyes watching you, donât see non-corporeal lips press a kiss to the back of a similarly ghostly hand. Perhaps thatâs for the best; some moments arenât intended for other living eyes.)
(The Circus will continue to live, with two magicians as its heartbeat.)
Summary: Two people are trained from childhood for a magical competition they donât fully understand, whose stakes are higher than they imagine, all to be played out in a magical traveling circus. Falling in love complicates things. A CS AU of the book âThe Night Circusâ.
Rated M. ~16.5k. Also on Ao3. On Tumblr:Â Chapter One
A/N: Iâm back! Thanks for your patience in waiting for the latest chapter of my @cssnsâ piece. My apologies for the wait; these chapters are slow in coming due to my own overthinking and perfectionism, what I know where everything is going and this Will Be Finished.Â
Special thanks to my betas, @snidgetsafanâ and @ohmightydevviepuuâ, and to @eirabach for the absolutely gorgeous art she created for this chapter. Seriously, itâs like she climbs right inside my head to see what Iâm picturing. Give her a BUNCH of love for all this.Â
Tagging the interested parties (and let me know if youâre one of those!):Â @welllpthisishappeningâ, @thisonesatelliteâ, @let-it-rainesâ, @kmomof4â, @scientificapricotâ, @thejollyroger-writerâ, @superchocovianâ, @teamhookâ, @optomisticgirlâ, @winterbaby89â, @searchingwardrobesâ, @katie-dubâ, @snowbellewellsâ, @spartanguardâ, @phiraloveslokiâ, @profdanglaisstuffâ, @winterbytheseaââ
Enjoy - and let me know what you think!
~~~~~
Henry is six the first time he visits the Circus.Â
Itâs a special treat for an orphaned boy like him; the nuns who run the Storybrooke Childrenâs Home, just outside of Portland, Maine, arenât much given to frivolous entertainments like this. But a generous monetary donation had been made to the home when the Circus had set up just over the next hill, and tickets for all the children along with it. The nuns may not be much for frivolity, but theyâre not ones for waste, either, especially where gifts are concerned. The next night, Sister Astrid and Sister Theodora collect all the children who want to go, and bring them to what, to Henry, feels like a whole other world.Â
Henry is a boy the adults already say lives in his imagination too much, and the magic of the Circus only enchants him further, calling to him in a way he doesnât yet have the words to understand, let alone describe. There are trapeze artists who soar through the air, and jugglers, and lions and tigers and wolves so tame that theyâll take treats from his hands. Kindly confectioners slip him pieces of praline and boxes of popcorn to snack on through the night with a wink and a smile. Itâs treatment such as heâs never experienced before, and itâs easy to wonder if heâs just wandered into some kind of dream.
(Even at six, Henry knows better than to disrupt such a lovely dream.)
Itâs easy to get separated from the rest of the children in the dazzle of it all, and Henry finds himself wandering the curved paths alone as the clock strikes one, when the others in his group are preparing to return to the Home. Not that he knows it; heâs far too occupied by staring wide-eyed at the black and white tents where they soar to meet the stars and peeking beyond their entrance flaps.
Thatâs how the lady finds him - gawking with a craned neck at everything around him.Â
âHave you lost your group, young man?â she asks with a gentle voice. Henry likes being called young man; it makes him feel important.Â
âItâs okay,â he tells her earnestly. âThey like to go faster than me. I can do it by myself.â
âIâm sure you can,â the lady laughs. She looks really pretty; her hair is yellow and curly and she wears a poofy white dress with black swirly bits and a black, long-sleeved jacket, the lack of color making it obvious sheâs part of the Circus somehow. If this was one of the fairy tales Henry likes so much, sheâd be the princess in hiding; here, at the Circus, that just might be true. âI was just planning to walk to the front gates. Would you care to escort me, young sir?â
Henry eagerly takes the hand the lady offers. âIâm Henry,â he tells her as they walk. âWhatâs your name?â
âItâs very nice to meet you, Henry. My name is Emma.â
âThatâs a princess name. Are you a princess?â
âNo,â she laughs, âbut thank you very much, Henry. I appreciate the compliment. Are you enjoying the circus?â
âYeah!â As they walk, Henry eagerly tells the lady - Emma, his new friend - about all his favorite bits - the animals and the dancers and especially the magician. Emma has a funny little smile when he talks about that, but Henry doesnât think to ask about it.
When the front gates are finally in sight, Henry tugs on Emmaâs hand. âI like it here,â he whispers. âDo I have to go?â
Emma crouches down, her skirts pooling around her and threatening to envelop him too. âYes, Henry, you have to leave for now.â
âBut why? I want to stay here. I could stay with you!â
âOh, Henry, Iâd like that so much,â she tells him, pulling him into a hug. âYou need to go for now, until youâre older, but the Circus will always be here for you, okay? Youâll come back.â
âDo you promise?â
âI promise.â
Henry dreams of the circus that night, and for many nights after, though the visions his mind conjures up never quite match the mysticism of the real thing.
A week later, the Circus is gone.
(But here, in a small room in a cold, gloomy childrenâs home - a young boy remembers.)
âââ
Belle, unsurprisingly, proves to be a determined and reliable correspondent. Sheâs like his little window into the Circus, even when he canât be there himself, as is so often the case - especially in those first few years. Five years pass of letters and far-too-rare visits, and yet Killian never feels left in the dark. Thatâs the magic of what Belle can accomplish with her words - let him feel as if he is present even when he canât be.Â
Her missives contain the important things he asked for, of course - reports of new tents and changes in operations and unusual things his opponent, Miss Swan, is doing. Theyâre useful words, words that help him plan his own next moves. More than that, though, her letters are filled with wonderful little mundane details that make him smile. Belle tells him about the latest book sheâs read and how fast the Zimmer twins are growing up and particularly funny anecdotes sheâs heard. There are complaints about the weather, and discussions of the interesting or ominous things she reads in the cards. Always, always, there are chronicles of all the many places she has seen as the Circus crisscrosses the world, recountings of wondrous sights and marvelous people. Belle had wanted to see the world, and sheâs getting to, five times over. Itâs everything she deserves, only wrapped in an unusual and often demanding package.Â
âItâs not too much, is it?â Killian asks on one of the rare instances their paths cross - in Paris, this time, where Killian has come on an errand for Jefferson, sitting in a little cafe in the shadow of Notre Dame. âI never want to ask more of you than you can manage.â
âDonât be silly,â Belle says, waving off his concerns like the steam from their coffee. âTheyâre merely letters, Killian. Itâs no great bother - especially for something Iâd be doing anyways. Iâd be writing to you regardless, Killian - youâre my best friend in the world, and Iâll be terribly put out if you ever stop writing me back.â
And thatâs that.
(Most days, Killian believes that Belle is a much better friend than he could ever possibly deserve. He makes a mental note to say something of the sort in his next letter back to her.)
(Of course, he forgets - but then again, he canât imagine she doesnât already know.)
âââ
As a child, growing up knowing she was destined for some magical contest, Emma had always been told that sheâd understand what she needed to do once her competition actually started. As an adult, now smack in the middle of it all, she finds that is decidedly not the case. Emma does her best, but it still feels like she has no idea what in the world sheâs supposed to be doing.
The Circus is meant to be a canvas for her abilities, hers and her opponentâs; that much is obvious. What exactly that means is⊠more up for debate. Emma tries to take on more of the Circus in little pieces, bit by bit, so that more of its operations run on magic than on man power. Itâs more enjoyable to try and come up with new attractions, drawing upon her imagination to come up with something new. Itâs not a particularly quick process - Emma spends a lot of time planning each idea, to make sure she doesnât miss anything, and it means that she can only create maybe two new tents each year. Itâs worth it, though, to wander through the finished product, and see the way her most fanciful ideas have come to life.Â
(âYou need to be doing more,â Regina always scolds her on those rare occasions she makes the effort to visit her student. âThis isnât playtime. You canât just make the effort when you feel like it, silly girl. Donât you want to win this?â
âOf course, Regina,â Emma always says, making whatever promises she needs to in order to appease the other woman - all the while knowing that she will continue to act in her own way.)
(For Emma, the best thing about the Circus may be the separation from the woman who took her in. Regina does not often make the effort to check in on how her student is doing - and Emma more than likes it that way.)
There are traces of her mysterious opponentâs work, too. Sometimes itâs in the form of dramatic new attractions, things that push the bounds of possibility and perception; sometimes, itâs with more mundane things, like a wine-sampling tent tucked along a path that Emma is certain never existed before.Â
His or her greatest feat, however, is on the members of the Circus themselves. As the years pass by, Emma canât help but notice that time doesnât affect everyone who brings the Circus to life, with the exception of the Zimmer twins. Itâs been more than half a decade, but Granny Lucas is still as hale and hearty as ever. Not a single face has gained extra creases, or a single head extra grey hairs. Something this unknown competitor did has stopped the clock for all of them within the iron fence, even as the grand timepiece above the front gates ticks on.
Itâs an impressive piece of magic - one that must take a considerable amount of skill and effort. Itâs the first time Emma wonders if maybe this is a contest of endurance, rather than skill.
Regina wonât tell her, however, and Emma puts the matter out of her mind while she turns her attention towards the nightâs performances and the germ of an idea blooming in her head. Something fantastical. Something striking - and icy.Â
Thereâs always room for imagination and for creation at the Circus, after all - and despite her opponentâs impressive efforts, thatâs exactly what Emma is counting on to one day prevail in this competition.Â
âââÂ
The Zimmer twins are special, Emma discovers, and not just in the way anyone who has loved a child claims them to be exceptional. In Ava and Nicholasâ case, itâs true.Â
There had been something in the air the night the circus opened, the night after the twins were born - something crackling and pervasive and magical. Emma has suspected for years - since that very moment - that the energy was something created by her still-unknown opponent. Itâd been like a wave, rippling through them all at once and creating unknown effects. She thinks this might be one of those - powers growing in two children who, by all indication, shouldnât have received them.
Itâs especially noticeable to Emma, who not only has the ability to sense the powers running through their veins, but spends a considerable amount of time with the six-year-old twins. Ava and Nicholas grow up like the beloved niece and nephew of everyone involved with the circus, as though everyone communally agreed to test the proverb it takes a village. While the circus is open to visitors, and the childrenâs parents responsible for their little cart of carved treasures, everyone else watches the little boy and girl in shifts when theyâre not performing - and Emma quickly becomes a particular favorite. Sheâs never been sure why; maybe they sensed the magic in her own veins, even as babies, and latched onto it. Maybe they simply like the way she thoughtfully humors every flight of fancy. Whatever the case - Emma knows her life would be far less interesting without the two in it.Â
Ava has magic that likes to shake out and twinkle at the edges of her soft hair, similar in a way to Emmaâs own powers. Unusual things happen around her, if youâre paying attention; lost things are more easily found, snacks and sweets turn up in unlikely places, and on one impressive occasion, a pair of fluffy orange and white kittens crawled out from beneath her bunk.Â
âI can fix that,â she tells Emma innocently one day as Emma moves to throw a vase of wilted flowers out. She hasnât prodded Ava about her powers before - it doesnât seem the time to bring to the forefront all the things she can likely do, not when sheâs still a little girl, not when Emmaâs own childhood was largely sacrificed because of her own powers - but itâs a hard opportunity to pass up. Itâs worth demonstrating to Ava, anyways, that her powers are simply a part of her, and nothing to make a fuss about.
âCan you show me?â Emma asks. Itâs impossible not to smile when the little girl nods eagerly and furrows her brow in concentration, staring fixedly at the wilted daisies. Slowly but surely, the browned tips disappear, the petals straightening from their shrivelled state and the flowers once again lifting upright to seek the sun.
âThatâs very well done, Ava,â Emma makes sure to tell her.Â
âI know,â Ava replies seriously with all the intensity of a child her age. âCan you do that too?â
âI can.â Emma doesnât tell people about her magic, usually, but Ava seems like a necessary exception - to let the little girl know sheâs not entirely alone in her special, unusual skills.
âI thought so,â the little girl nods sagely. âI could feel it.â
It doesnât surprise Emma in the least.Â
Nicholas knows things that he shouldnât - knows things that no one should know. Somehow, the stars speak to him in a language only he can understand. Nick sees things to come and things that have already happened, and sometimes divulges them readily and at the most unlikely times.Â
âIs the scary lady with the dark hair your mama?â he asks one day out of the blue, startling Emma before she collects herself.
âNo. She was my teacher,â Emma explains.Â
âOh.â His question asked, Nick happily goes back to playing quietly with his wooden lion. Heâs less prone to chatter than his sister, happy to keep to his own thoughts when Ava isnât pulling him into some other adventure. Emma rather wonders if itâs not because he has all the things he sees in the stars to keep him company.Â
âIs there a reason you asked?â she inquires as casually as she can. âDid you⊠was there something you saw?â
âShe hurt you,â is all heâll say. âBefore you were here.â
Something from the past, then - not so immediately alarming, though a sign sheâll need to be vigilant about hiding certain portions of her memories that young, impressionable and trusting minds shouldnât be seeing.
âItâs alright, Nickie,â she tells him. âShe isnât around to bother me very often.â
He nods decisively. âGood.â
As he turns his attention back to his wooden lion, bringing a tiger in as well, Emma reaches out for the magic constantly humming about her and draws it into herself, directing to play through her mind and cast something almost like her invisibility cloak around her more traumatic memories to keep Nicholas from seeing.Â
âIs there anything else?â she prods, mostly to test and see if the charm is effective.
Sure enough, the little boyâs face twists into a frown. âI donât know,â he grumbles. âI canât see.â
âAh, well,â Emma replies in a purposefully light tone. âMaybe some other time.â
(She is not entirely sure she means it.)
Truth be told, Ava and Nicholas and their wondrous gifts are a beautiful mystery. All Emma knows is that itâs her responsibility to protect them from more sinister influences, the way she wishes someone had done for her. They deserve that. She deserved that. And sheâll be damned if theyâre turned into pawns the way she was.Â
There are many good things to come out of the Circus - friendship and wonder and home - but Emma thinks the Zimmer twins, and the powers they should be able to wield for good without the interference of people like Regina - are one of the best.Â
âââÂ
There are attractions at the Circus unlike anything youâve seen before, that you think may only exist within these iron gates. The Circus is a place where the otherworldly and impossible come to life.
This tent contains one such wonder, advertised with simple but mysterious words. This marker swirls and glistens in the moonlight, coaxing you inside to discover its secrets.
Stepping through the tent flap, brisk air tickles at your face - the first sign of whatâs to come. Twisting through the interior are all manner of transparent structures, arranged in neat beds. The Ice Garden - just as promised. Each creation appears impossibly delicate and fragile, and by all logic, should be impossible on a warm summerâs night. There are lilies and roses and daisies, sculpted topiaries, winding vines, flowers that remind you of an illustration you once saw of tropical flora. A raised bed of cacti and succulents sprawls along one wall. Opposite, an apple tree, laden with fruit, arches gracefully at the edge of a silver-stoned path. There are little crystalline plaques, too, for all the plants whose names youâd never begin to guess: Shooting Star. Gayfeather. Anemones. Candelabra Primrose.
Every inch, every label, every petal, is made of ice.
Even at the Circus, such a thing should be impossible, This tent may be slightly, inexplicably cooler, but itâs by no means chilled enough to maintain this icy wonder. Though you know you shouldnât touch, you canât help but graze your fingers along an icy petal, just to make sure it isnât cleverly blown glass. Itâs a joyous mystery when they come away cold and wet, the sculptures revealed as ice in truth.
Thereâs no explanation for the Ice Garden - how it can exist at this edge of the Circus, seemingly unburdened by the laws of nature.
The longer you spend in the sparkling, colorless chill, the more you come to realize that beauty doesnât need an explanation anyways.
âââ
Killian -Â
I know itâs not quite the update you were asking for, but I still feel compelled to share - something wonderful and charming and amusing, and so delightfully human. I couldnât quite resist writing to tell you.Â
I could be wrong - but I believe a little fanclub has sprung up to trail the Circus. Youâll think it silly, Killian, but I am starting to recognize faces here - not of Circus members (I am not nearly so unobservant, or so rude not to recognize them by name after all these years!) but of visitors. There are a handful I could swear are coming over and over again. Iâll have to ask, next time I notice.
(Not that I can begrudge them of such - I certainly would be doing the same, in their shoes! Itâs just that the fortunes get rather repetitive. I should probably let them know that the stars of fate do not change nearly as quickly as they seem to believeâŠ)
Thereâs a certain awe, or maybe more like peace, that they wear on their faces as they move about the grounds thatâs unique from all the other looks I see - almost like theyâre coming home. I certainly know something about that - I think so many of us do. Itâs wonderful, really - the way these visitors love the Circus so much that they feel compelled to return time and time again, joyously retracing the same paths over and over. Itâs clear they love this place the way we do. Isnât that just what we wanted, anyways? To make something for others to love, to play a part in bringing it to life?Â
(Yes, I obviously remember that youâre also doing this for your mysterious competition - but I donât believe someone makes something so beautiful without a generous dose of love as well. Donât try to deny it, Killian - you know Iâm always right.)
I hope you are well; no other news from here. As always, Iâll let you know if anything changes.Â
Best wishes,
Belle
âââÂ
In time, the Circus gains followers.
It was probably inevitable, in a way; as the Circus winds its way across the world, through large cities and small towns, it touches countless lives as it goes, some more impactfully than others. There are those who visit once, and remember it fondly; those who take the opportunity to visit whenever the Circus is in their area, and look forward to it; and those who hold the memories close to one day tell their disbelieving grandchildren.
And then - there are the RĂȘveurs.
The RĂȘveurs start almost like a book club - groups of people who meet to reminisce about their favorite attractions, all the sights and smells and tastes that make the whole experience unforgettable. In time, the groups morph; they begin to go to the Circus together, and then travel to visit other RĂȘveurs when the Circus comes to their area. Particularly eloquent members begin to write into their local newspapers and magazines, beautiful editorials that convey love and wonder and coax thousands of others through the twisted iron gates. It becomes an entire movement, based off of a shared love, of people coming together to experience the Circus over and over again.
It is easy to spot the RĂȘveurs, if you know what you are looking for. In one of the editorials, an adherent mentions his own preferred way to experience the Circus - to blend in as much as he can, in all black and white, while still setting himself apart from those who bring the experience to life by adding a single touch of red. The trend catches on quickly; wandering the grounds, it is easy to spot splashes of red in the crowd, handkerchiefs peeking from pockets and roses or carnations in lapels and gloves and ribbons in hair.Â
Some RĂȘveurs make sure to visit new attractions each time they visit; some prefer to see the same over and over, lingering in the acrobat tent or on the carousel for hours. In a way, they prove that there is no right or wrong way to experience the Circus - there will always be new things to see, and old favorites to return to.Â
The members of the Circus are aware of the RĂȘveurs, too. Indeed, there are benefits to being in the same audience with that little flash of red, as performers bring out their best, most dazzling tricks and attempt new daring feats. Watching carefully, one might see a vendor slip a cup of cocoa or an extra serving of toasted nuts to a man or woman with that bare hint of color. All visitors to the Circus are valued, but the RĂȘveurs are treasured, in a different way, that makes every person involved in the endeavor want to do just the slightest bit more to bring the experience to life in a new way.Â
The performers and vendors and other members of the Circus are its engine, in many ways - but the RĂȘveurs just might be its heart.Â
âââ
Killian -Â
I just realized that itâs been a while since my last letter - two months, I believe! Everything is perfectly fine here, I assure you. In fact, I havenât written because thereâs been nothing particularly notable to report. Iâve been watching for new additions, just as I always do, but nothing has appeared. Ah, well. We must be in a quiet stretch on that front.
Meanwhile, the Circus trundles onward, as it so often does. This week, weâre in Morocco. Iâve never been - and oh Killian, it is wonderful. The air is hot and dry and tinged with all kinds of spices that I canât quite identify. And the food! A little group of us went and wandered in one of the markets, trying things from the stands. Iâve never tasted anything like it. What boring lives so many people lead, happy to stay on their own little island and pretend they know everything. This is so much preferable. The weather is a wonderful respite, too, from the cold I know must be sweeping through now that December is well and truly here.
I do not know if weâll be home for Christmas; I rather doubt it. Iâll miss our usual holiday feast, but I trust that youâll have a lovely time with your brother instead. My regards to Liam, as always.
Yours &c.,
Belle
âââ
Killian is lucky, in a way. After all, he has Belle and Liam, who both know about this competition. Theyâre his support system, the people who keep him grounded to life outside of all this - especially Liam. Lord knows Mr. Gold has never sought to do that. He doubts Miss Swan has that. Maybe heâs wrong; for her sake, he hopes he is. How lonely it must be to keep that secret, otherwise.Â
Liamâs apartment is like a sanctuary at the end of a long day, where his brother waits with dark spiced rum and a roaring fire. Sometimes they venture out for dinner; some nights they stay in, and have the landlady send up something to eat. Mostly, Killian enjoys the peace of being in company that never expects more of him than heâs sure he can give. All Liam expects is companionship, and maybe for Killian to come with a nice bottle of spirits every so often. Killian can more than handle that.Â
(They do not mention that Liam does not seem to age, the same way all those attached to the Circus do not. If his brother has even noticed, he remains blessedly silent on the subject.)
âDo you wonder sometimes,â Liam asks one night, âwhat would have happened if you hadnât been selected by Gold? If you had turned him down?â
Killian shrugs. Theyâre in the middle of their third drinks - just the time for philosophical questions like these. âNot really,â he admits. âWhatâs the use? It happened like it happened. You wouldnât have as nice a place as this, thatâs for damn sure.â
Liam snorts, and the atmosphere turns more jovial for a few minutes as both men indulge in a drunken laugh before things turn thoughtful again. âIf you had to do it all over again⊠would you?â
âI would,â Killian agrees. âWe were a couple of scrappy orphans, no prospects, nothing. Iâve never been given a reason to truly regret it.â
âThen Iâm happy for you, brother.â Liam tops off their glasses and raises his drink in a toast. âTo good decisions, then!â
âTo good decisions,â Killian echoes. âOr at least ones we havenât yet regretted.â
âââ
Some attractions are more conventional in name, their promises familiar and comforting in that way that the expected can be. But this is the Circus, and conventional simply doesnât exist here in the same way.Â
You enter another tent to discover a hall of mirrors. It is a common enough attraction, at its core, one you have seen in other carnivals and street fairs. But true to the promise of the Circus, this version of such a fun house classic is more than youâve ever seen. There are tall, full length mirrors, as youâve come to expect, but small mirrors too, clustered on tables in every nook between their larger counterparts to reflect the lantern light in every direction. The mirrors donât just distort your own reflection either; in addition to mirrors that cause your reflection to look taller or shorter or wider, there are mirrors to make you look older or younger, mirrors which change your hair, mirrors which duplicate your visage over and over again until you appear to be surrounded by a crowd of your own self in the mirror. There are even mirrors which somehow make it appear that you are someplace else entirely - by the seaside, the water slowly soaking your shoes, or in a fragrant flower garden, or wandering amidst ancient ruins. It is a clever trick, and one you wonât pretend to understand. In your heart, you never want to, for fear of ruining the illusion.
The world feels bright and new under the moonlight as you exit back outside the tent, like the hall of mirrors has helped you find a new way of seeing.
(And maybe, you realize, thatâs the entire point.)
âââ
Killian takes small comfort in the fact that Mr. Gold seems pleased with his efforts. Truthfully, he doesnât know what heâs doing. He knows that somehow heâs supposed to demonstrate his abilities and magical knowledge on the canvas that is the Circus, but that only tells him so much. Killian adds attractions when he can, crafting things like the Hall of Mirrors in careful dioramas before sewing the plans into his master book, but itâs so hard to know if heâs on the right track.Â
Mr. Gold has never been particularly involved in Killianâs life, and that doesnât change now that the competition has well and truly begun. As a child, Killian had been largely self-taught, relying on the books that his teacher provided and the man himself only dropping in periodically to test his knowledge and comprehension. This feels like much the same thing; once a year, Mr. Gold will appear in Killianâs office after one of the Circus dinners, or outside his flat door without warning. There may be a polite inquiry about what Killian is currently working on, especially if the visit occurs in his cramped and ruthlessly organized office; more often than not, there isnât. Killian will make polite inquiries about his mentorâs health and business, all of which are carefully avoided. Mr. Gold will state that he is satisfied with the work of his student - exactly that, and nothing more.Â
Killian never expects an expression of pride; after all, heâs never received anything of the sort in all the years heâs been under his teacherâs direction. Theirs has always been a distant relationship, if it can even be called that.Â
âHow will I know Iâve won?â Killian dares to ask on one of these visits. âWhat do I have to do?â
âYouâll know, dearie,â is all his teacher will say. âTrust me, it will be very obvious.â
It is not.Â
But Killian works onward, carefully building and manipulating things. Who knows? Maybe, one day, heâll understand.Â
Of course, Emma has never been one for formality, or fitting in with the rest of the crowd.Â
If pressed, sheâll claim that Marco is an anomaly - a man who fits between both worlds, and therefore special. Itâs her own kind of loophole in the intricate rituals of the Circus and the RĂȘveurs.Â
(No one ever presses, though - to do that, theyâd need to know that Emma writes to Marco in the first place.)
Marco, in truth, has been involved in the Circus since the very beginning - though he did not always know it. An Italian by birth, living in Germany and creating exquisitely crafted cuckoo clocks, Mr. Marco Gepetto had been the very man contracted by Mr. Booth, the architect, to build the massive timepiece at the front gates, back when this whole endeavor was still coming together. Marco hadnât been aware of that, at the time; all heâd known was that an Englishman had offered him a frankly absurd amount of money and next to no direction, only to create something unusual and extraordinary for a circus venue he was helping produce. With his rambling imagination and careful craftsmanâs hands, Marco had more than delivered, creating the masterpiece Emma has found comfort in watching many times.Â
That clock had always haunted him, heâs tried to explain to her many times during their correspondence, his mind running wild wondering exactly where it had been installed. Mr. Booth had sent a note declaring the producers delighted by the result, and Marco had never heard a peep again. Emma cannot blame him for wondering, truly, after all the months he had invested in the clock and all the personal touches he had poured in. The truth, he confides, is that he believed - nay, believes it to be his greatest work, all the while unaware that so many others were similarly touched. It was only years later that Marco had realized the grand project he had unknowingly helped bring to life, when an acquaintance had insisted they visit the traveling circus setting up just outside of Munich.Â
âIt was wonderful,â he gushes to Emma as they walk down the streets of Naples several years later, the older man happily pointing out the location of all the haunts of his younger days. âIt was more than I ever could have imagined - and so well situated! So perfectly blended with the rest of the design! I must tip my cap to Signore Booth for his work, and all his compatriots.â
Marco had fallen in love with the circus on that first night, as a venue for his masterpiece and as a creation all its own. It was impossible not to, he had claimed later in the first of many editorials and subsequent letters - it was like the Circus called to him, begging him to uncover all its secrets. It may be the work of several lifetimes; perhaps, thatâs just the appeal.Â
He didnât particularly mean to spearhead the RĂȘveurs movement, heâd explained to Emma in one letter. It was simply that heâd fallen in love, with a place and an experience, and wanted to share that with everyone else. It was just that he was the first, the first to not just talk about the Circus but publish his thoughts, that had made him the unexpected figurehead of the group. Heâd been the one to come up with the idea of that touch of red, too, though he never admits it unless pressed.Â
Letters flood in, from across Europe and the globe, wanting to compare experiences and share in the joy of the Circus. Marco gladly responds; many, indeed, become friends. But none is quite like Emma, who he only first knows as a woman with unusual insight into the Circus when she first begins writing, just another person who reaches out after one of his editorials. He assumes sheâs just another of his RĂȘveur correspondents at first, but her thoughts, so carefully measured but fond, strike a chord somewhere in Marco. A friendship blossoms over dozens of letters exchanged, comparing experiences and details noticed and treasured - until, finally, this summit, as Marco had visited an elderly aunt while the Circus docked along the Italian coast.Â
He takes the revelation that Emma isnât merely some visitor, but a core member of the Circus, with an unexpected lack of surprise. âI wondered if you were rather closer to the matter than you let on,â Marco explains, patting her hand before tucking it into the crook of his elbow. âI shall consider myself uniquely lucky to have earned your friendship.â
And he has. Marco possesses a sharp mind and an affection for the little details that Emma loves, and an easy-going manner it proves near-impossible not to be charmed by. He fills something like a fatherly role, for Emma - always encouraging and delighted to hear about the latest improvements to her show. She doesnât tell him that all the magic she does is real - but somehow feels that he understands, anyways. Marco is special like that, and perceptive. Somehow, Emma doubts that heâd be much surprised if she revealed the whole mess of the competition.
Marco may be physically distant from the ever-changing Circus grounds, and may not fully know whatâs going on - but heâs a pillar of support, all the same, like Emma has never known.
(She only hopes he isnât one more thing thatâs just too good to last.)
âââÂ
Killian -Â
At long last - an update! I feel like itâs been so long since Iâve had anything to report to you. Not that I donât enjoy our correspondence, of course - itâs always so wonderful to share with you a little slice of my life here and hear from you in return. I simply feel so much better when I have something concrete to report to you, as we agreed.
Iâm stalling, though. The truth is⊠Iâm not entirely sure how to put into words exactly what this latest tent contains. It defies description, I find. The little sign along the path reads âWishing Treeâ, but that doesnât describe much, does it? That could be anything. The Wishing Tree, in truth, is⊠oh, where do I start? It is somehow both earthly and otherworldly. It is both wondrously fantastical and firmly rooted in the soil. It exists both on this plane and in the world of dreams and aspirations. I suppose what Iâm trying to say is that it is a contradiction, in the most spectacular way. Most simply put, if I stop beating around the bush, it is like a living, growing wishing well - but so much better than that, in its symbolism. There are no words to do it justice.
If you couldnât tell already, Killian, I am insisting that you come and visit the Circus grounds next time it is convenient. There is no other way to fully grasp the delight of this latest addition. If I were not so terribly fond of you, Iâd offer a hearty âBravo!â to your competitor - so count yourself lucky!
Yours,
-Belle
âââ
The Circusâ tents are filled with wonders - large and small, loud and quiet, and everything in between. What unites all the disparate attractions is a mystical quality - one thatâs hard to put into words, but that makes every move and every moment greater and more magical than any similar display you may have seen before.
The particular tent in front of you is tall, but narrow, with a delicate wooden sign carefully placed to the side of the silvery-paved path leading beneath the entrance flap. Wishing Tree, it reads in a painted cursive script. An attraction youâve never heard of.
Lifting the tent flap reveals just what was promised on the placard - a tall, elegant tree, all in the colors of the circus, with white bark and black leaves. The treeâs branches twist and curve around the tent, creating a structure almost reminiscent of a basket. Where it could be grotesque, the way branches stretch and dip around your body, but the effect is somehow comforting - like the tree protects all that it surrounds. It is otherworldly, in the truest sense of the word, an effect only heightened by the clusters of pearly white candles on each branch. By the entrance sits a small table, with a basket of candles and a crisp white card, embossed with a simple instruction:
Make a wish.
A wish is a sacred thing, and this is a place that respects that. After making your own wish, lighting your candle with one of the many already waiting on the treeâs branches, you place it in the highest nook you can reach where two branches join. Thereâs a profound symbolism to it all - one wish ignited by another, left to become part of a beautiful mass of light, illuminating this little corner of the world in soft and beautiful light.Â
(That light will stay with you long after you slip back through the flap of the tent.)
âââ
At Belleâs urging, Killian makes the trip to see the Circus, and especially this new attraction, when they pass through Edinburgh. It is not precisely convenient - there are multiple trains involved from London, after all - but thereâs no real telling when it will next be in the city, and he trusts Belleâs judgement that he must see this Wishing Tree for himself.
Sheâs right, of course. The Wishing Tree defies all conventional description. Thereâs a sense of possibility, and hope that just canât be captured in a simple letter. Killian is sorely tempted to take a candle and light a wish of his own, but ultimately resists. The Wishing Tree isnât just for some passing fancy - it is for the deepest dreams of oneâs heart. As long as Killian is still unsure as to what his own dearest dream might be, it feels more appropriate to refrain from adding his own candle to the glowing branches. There will be time, later.Â
His immediate business for the evening concluded, Killian takes the time just to wander the grounds. Itâs something he hasnât had the opportunity to do in far too long - thereâs always been something to worry about, something to take care of when he comes to the Circus. This is a bit of a chance to try and experience things the way all their unknowing visitors do - to see the beauty, and the wonder, without analyzing anything further. Once he clears his mind, itâs easy to see the things the way that normal visitors do, the way something special sparkles in the very air.
There are still stops to make, of course; Belle would never forgive him if he didnât pop into her tent. The fortune tellerâs tent is made up to be an eye-catching oddity, but thereâs still something welcoming about it that always soothes Killian - though maybe thatâs just the knowledge of his dearest friend waiting just inside. Just inside the tent flap, dark curtains speckled with silver flecks like stars drape, giving way to a beaded fringe that softly clicks when touched. Heâs been known to fiddle with those beads as he sits and talks with Belle, like a soothing sort of fidget. Beyond the beaded curtains sit three comfortable armchairs with a draped table at their center; Belle always does like the romance of reading for couples. There are no crystal balls, or posters about lines on palms; just Belle, the table and chairs, and her deck of tarot cards. Killian knows one of the curtains stretched behind her hides the entrance into her private quarters, where sheâs been known to duck for a quick cup of tea, but no one else who didnât know would see that. The whole effect is decidedly unusual, even mystical, but in a way that feels cozy. Itâs like sitting in someoneâs living room, sharing a bit of conversation - but the conversation concerns all manner of possible futures, and how theyâll come to pass.
Belle looks like herself, mostly, elegant in shades of white and grey and black and silver. She hasnât leaned into any of the stereotypes or cliches - no scarf around her head or massive gold earrings or patchwork skirts. She looks like she could be any shop girl, or personal secretary, or even a beloved female relation in her neat dresses in playful patterns, accentuated with pretty bits of lace. There are more formal options in her closet too, he knows, provided by the Circus organizers for her use, but she likes this better; it makes her feel more like herself, and not entirely subsumed by the role she plays.Â
âYou came!â she crows with delight when he ducks his head past the beaded drapery. He hadnât let her know he was coming, this time, happy to let it remain a pleasant surprise. Not that it matters much - Belleâs face would light up in delight in the same way, even if he had warned her to expect his visit.
âOf course I did, love,â he assures her with a grin. âYou insisted, didnât you? I seem to remember a very commanding letter, telling me I must come see this wishing tree for myself.â
âYes, but there was always the chance you would get stubborn on me, or get called away on business for Jefferson, and Iâd have to send another three to five letters until I finally guilted you here.â
âAlright, I suppose thatâs true,â he admits. He does tend to get rather sidetracked much of the time, especially when there is work to be done and new, exciting ideas to explore.
âInstead, here you are! Only weeks after I wrote. A rare instance of agreeability - thereâs hope for you yet,â she continues, only to plow forward before he even has a chance to defend himself. âBut tell me - have you seen the Wishing Tree yet? Or did you come straight here first? Iâm touched, of course, but really, you must ââ
âIâm not nearly so foolish as to come here first, knowing youâd demand my own opinions on the tent just as soon as I arrived,â he teases fondly.
âWise man. Tell me then - what did you think?â
âItâs everything you promised,â he tells her. âUtterly indescribable. Iâm glad you insisted I come.â
The beam that graces Belleâs face at that simple agreement is a sight to behold.
âYouâll stay for a few days, wonât you?â she asks - cajoles, really, though Killian wonât take any convincing. âItâs been so long.â
âOf course. Weâll have dinner tomorrow, and you can tell me everything youâve seen since I last saw you.â Itâs an easy promise to make, and one heâll be even happier to keep.
Though Belle is an expected friendly face, one Killian had already built into his loose plans for tonight, the person he runs into as he wanders down the path away from her little tent is rather more unexpected.
âMr. Jones,â Miss Elsa Frost smiles warmly - a member of the creative team of the circus, whose eye for details had been invaluable in creating this world so many have fallen in love with. âI certainly didnât expect to see you here.â
âNor did I,â Killian admits, executing a short and polite bow of greeting. âEspecially not here, so far from London. May I escort you around the grounds, if I may be so bold?â
âYou may,â Miss Frost says, slipping her delicate hand into the crook of his proffered arm. âI was just about to go see the magician - Miss Swan, was it? Iâm told she should have a performance starting soon.â
âThen it will be my honor to accompany you.â
Though Killian has visited the Circus on several occasions in the past years, on business and to see Belle and to examine the creations of his competitor, heâs avoided this tent. It somehow feels like cheating, to watch Miss Swan like this with full awareness that sheâs his competitor when she hasnât been privy to the same knowledge. Thatâs not to say he hasnât been tempted; across all the spiraling stone paths, her magic calls to his own like a sirenâs song, drawing him in. Tonight, with a companion on his arm, he finally has the excuse to cave. As they approach her tent as others trickle in ahead of them, Killian makes sure to draw a spell around him to mask his own magic like a cloak, the same one heâd used that first day heâd seen her. Even if he feels guilt at the advantage, Killian isnât quite sure heâs willing to tip his hand yet, no matter how often heâs been tempted. Itâs not the time for such a revelation.Â
(He doesnât notice, beside him, the way Miss Frostâs forehead briefly creases as the spell settles around his body; it would not matter if he had, anyways, and the lady is more than happy to hold her tongue on the matter.)
The magicianâs tent is small, intimate - a small clearing surrounded by a double ring of chairs. Itâs a subtly ingenious way of heightening the drama and the enchantment of the performance: there is, quite literally, nowhere to hide, every angle visible to spectators as they space themselves around the center ring. A lesser magician would never be able to pull it off; itâs lucky, then that Miss Swan doesnât have to rely on tricks.
Killian is the only one that notices that the tent flap has disappeared, two minutes past the hour. Everyone else is too busy whispering to each other, speculating about where the illusionist is and when the show will start. Unlike the rest of them, Killian waits patiently, knowing that the show has already begun.
No one misses the next trick, as a stream of flame chases around the tent above their heads. Gasps echo from the crowd, in excitement and wonder and no small dose of fear. A handful turn towards where the exit once was, only to discover that the way has been sealed and blocked by chairs during their inattention. Gasps turn to screams, panic quickly catching, until -Â
A single figure stands from the audience, a woman with dramatic black skirts and what appears to be a menâs top hat. As she moves towards the center of the ring, she casually tosses the hat onto the seat she had occupied - and as if on cue, the streams of fire chase around the tent once more before plunging downwards, downwards into the hat, which somehow serves to contain the flames instead of catching on fire. As the rest of the audience comes back to their senses, turning their attention towards the slight blonde woman now at the center of the tent, she flicks a finger, sending the hat tumbling through the air to land in her hand, where she jauntily tips the black felt back onto her head and takes a dramatic bow.
And like that, the magician begins her show.
The displays that follow exceed Killianâs feeble memory of her audition, those several years ago. There are little miraculous bits sheâs still using - the chairs still levitate, and the hat replaces the jacket as it turns into a beautiful black raven to fly about their heads - but there are new bits, too, as items disappear and reappear and visitors discover all manner of unexpected items in purses and pockets. Somehow, it all flows together seamlessly, one display of ability and control into another. At the very end, the fire returns again, chasing around and around and around her body until she canât be seen anymore â
And when the flames disperse, all on their own, there is no one to be seen at all. The tent flap appears once again, and they all file out, awed in a way they hadnât expected.Â
Itâs beautiful, mysterious, magnificent - just like the woman herself. And Killian canât remember why he ever stayed away.Â
âââ
Wandering the grounds of the Circus, it is impossible not to notice the statues scattered along the path. Some are monochromatic, fully pristine white or glistening black; some are so vividly realistic, in black and white and flesh tones, as to seem almost lifelike. There are single figures and couples, male portrayals and female, all beautifully detailed and caught mid-action. There is something mystical about them, something you canât quite put your finger on but know separates them from anything else youâve ever seen - a feeling that saturates the very air within the iron fencing.Â
Examining the statues reveals that the life-like state of the statues is no trick, no clever construction of hard stone and a steady chisel - no, these are merely people mimicking statues by standing so still and moving so slowly as to trick the eye. This isnât some mere street performer, either, like you might see near the buildings tourists frequent en masse. No, this is something more special, more deliberate, more enchanting. It is almost like a dance, performed on a timeframe only the dancer can perceive. Watching closely, it is possible to see the movement - though it will take much patience. It is easier, in some ways, to pay careful attention to the stance of the living statue at the beginning of a set period, and then see how it has changed some minutes later.
It is said that if you wait long enough, the statues will bend enough to pluck an offering from your very hand. However, it takes a certain kind of person, with a certain kind of fascination, to even try. After all, why spend so long examining statues, when there are so many other wonders to see?Â
(Just before you walk away, you could swear the living statue of a young man winks an eye, all in impeccable slow motion - just one more memory of the Circus to treasure in your mind for years to come.)
âââÂ
The Circus returns when Henry is ten.
Ten is a sensitive age; itâs an age where one is still young enough to be excited about simple, playful things, but believe oneself to be too old to show it. Perceived maturity is beginning to be tantamount at this age, as is the idea of being cool.
Henry, for all his efforts (and a good bit of maturity, in truth), is perceived as neither.Â
âThe circus is for babies,â Jack Hastings declares in the schoolyard when Henry makes the mistake of mentioning that heâd seen the tents. A keen observer might find humor in the fact that Jackâs proclamation was made as he and the boys played with a collection of small wooden soldiers; the boys, however, are not yet adult enough to see the irony. âIâm not going.â
âI donât know,â Henry ventures cautiously. âI think I might like to go. It isnât very often something like the circus comes to town.â
âThatâs because youâre a baby,â Jack taunts. âHenryâs a baby! Henryâs a baby!â
âAm not!â Henry bites back hotly before anyone else takes up the chant.Â
âOh, yeah?â
âYeah!â
âThen prove it.â
Thatâs how Henry finds himself examining the black iron bars that encircle the circus tents, searching for a way to slip in. Itâs a dare - to sneak in, in daylight hours, and come back with something to prove it. Henry had agreed in the heat of the moment. Now, with school over, Henryâs got to do the deed, while all the other boys wait back in the schoolyard.
While Henry remembers the Circus practically crackling with its own special energy, things are quiet in the light of day. He supposes that makes sense; the Circus operates from sunset to sunrise, and itâs still an hour until dusk. Its performers need to rest and prepare and the like, like anyone else, and this is the time they get to do that.
After spending far more time than necessary carefully examining the outer fence, Henry finally finds a little out of the way stretch, framed by the back of two tents with no one in sight. The bars will be a tight squeeze, but he sucks in his stomach and holds his breath, and after a little bit of wiggling, manages to twist his way through. Quickly brushing himself off, Henry searches around for something he can bring back as proof for the other boys. The easiest thing to do would be to tear off a bit of fabric from one of the tents, but he struggles to bring himself to do it. The tents feel special, nearly sacred, somehow; it would be the worst kind of crime to ruin them in any way. Maybe, if he ventures a little further in, he can find something else â
âWhat are you doing?â a girlâs voice sounds, interrupting Henryâs thoughts.Â
Whirling around, Henry is met by a blonde girl he could have sworn wasnât there before, about his age, dressed in a black and silver striped dress. He didnât know people his age were allowed to join the circus; it catches his attention nearly as much as the look on her face. Though her words are accusing, her face only shows curiosity.Â
That does nothing to temper Henryâs shame, for better or worse. He didnât exactly count on getting caught, after all. âThere was a dare,â he blurts out. âTo sneak into the circus.â
âWell, you managed that,â she observes.Â
âYes.â The silence sits heavy between them. Henry knows he ought to leave, but also feels like he canât. âIâm sorry,â he finally cuts in - practically begs - once the quiet gets too much and he canât take that curious stare anymore. âI can slip back out again, or pay the admission, or ââ
That finally makes her smile - a bright, lovely thing that makes something stir within Henry that heâs never felt before. âItâs quite alright, Henry. You donât need to leave. Nick saw you coming.â
He has many questions about that - how she knew his name, what in the world saw you coming means - but he reaches for the easiest first. âWhoâs Nick?â
âMy brother,â the girl beams. âTwin brother, really. Iâm Ava.â
âItâs very nice to meet you.â Itâs obvious that thereâs no real point in offering his name; Henry is curiously less concerned about her unnatural knowledge than he figures he really ought to be.Â
âLikewise,â Ava replies with that same smile, offering her hand for Henry to awkwardly shake.Â
(For the first time in his life, heâs left wondering if he should have kissed the back of her offered hand instead. Then again - that sounds gross.)
âCome with me,â she commands with a little nod of her head. Even knowing he ought to slip back through the fence, Henry canât help but follow, pulled along in a way that he doesnât quite understand. âYou picked a good day to come - Nick says the Circus will be closed tonight for inclement weather,â she adds with a hand waved towards the quickly gathering clouds.
âYes, they just called it,â adds a different voice - another boy, this one also their age and with a remarkable resemblance to Ava. The biggest difference, really, is the boyâs light brown hair, a contrast to her cheery blonde. Itâs obvious this is the twin brother she mentioned - Nick, who somehow knows things.
âHe was there, just like you said, Nickie,â she laughs. âI donât know why anyone bothers to doubt you.â
âThey donât know better,â Nick shrugs.
âNick has a gift,â Ava explains. âHe sees things that others donât - and they always come true.â
âOh.â Henry isnât really sure what to say to that, honestly. He doesnât disbelieve it, really - Ava did know things she shouldnât have, without what they claim being true - but heâs a little too flabbergasted at it all to say anything more comprehensible. Besides, if such a thing were to be true - well, it makes sense that itâd happen at the Circus. Where else is magical enough to shelter people with such talents?
Ava breezes right past it though. That must be characteristic of her, if the way her brother stifles a smile is any indication. âThereâs always a party in the acrobatsâ tent whenever the weather is too bad to open. Itâs the biggest, you know.â
âYou can come too, if you want,â Nick adds.
Despite the tempting offer, Henry frowns. âIâm not part of the Circus, though. Wonât anyone mind?â
âCircus people are welcoming,â Nick shrugs. âThey wonât mind.â
âBesides, everyone thinks we need friends our own age,â Ava chimes in.Â
As the sun starts to creep below the horizon, Henry lets the twins lead him across the circus grounds. He wants to go, really - besides, thereâs no reason not to. Thereâs no one waiting who will care if he doesnât show up for dinner, or even for bedtime.Â
(Nick probably already knows that as well; perhaps thatâs why neither of them ask whether he needs to be home.)
The inclement weather party is a different kind of marvel than the otherworldly splendor of the open circus that Henry remembers. It seems like everyone is crowded into the tent as raindrops start to patter down upon the canvas, yet somehow the space never seems claustrophobic. Half the collected mass is in their black and white and silver circus clothes, while the other half wears street clothes in all manner of colors and styles. Laughter colors the air, as small groups congregate only to disperse and remingle again. It feels like a family, like a great big reunion, even though Henry is sure theyâre not all related.Â
(Then again, maybe family doesnât have to be linked by blood and genealogical trees; maybe family is something that can be crafted with those you choose and care for.)
Ava tugs on his arm before he can get too lost in his thoughts and marvelling at the spectacle of the tent. âYou should meet Emma,â she says. At her side, Nick nods in genial agreement. âYouâll like her. Sheâs the magician.â
She doesnât quite bodily haul him across the tent space, but itâs close. Henry would complain, but it isnât hurting; he can tell sheâs just eager to share her and Nickâs world in a way she hasnât with outsiders before. At least, Henry hopes she hasnât shared all this with outsiders before; Henryâs never really had the chance to be special. Itâd be a nice change.Â
Eventually, she halts in front of a cluster of women - three brunettes and a blonde. All smile fondly as Ava approaches with Henry in tow. âEmma, I want you to meet someone!â Ava bursts out as they pull to a stop.
âI can see that,â the blonde chuckles as her companions move away. Henryâs distracted for a moment by the movement of the other three ladies, but forces his attention back to meet the magicianâs eyes.
And itâs her - the nice lady from the last time he was here. Henryâs face flushes red as he remembers his youthful question - Are you a princess?. She still looks like a princess, four years later, only in a burgundy dress with her hair in a simple bun instead of her sumptuous black and white dress from the last time they met. He can see the moment recognition sweeps across Emmaâs face, and knows she remembers too.Â
âHenry, was it?â Emma smiles down at him. Somehow, he manages a nod of confirmation. âItâs lovely to see you again, Henry.â
Avaâs face drops a little in disappointment, and a hint of confusion. Seems this is one thing her brotherâs visions didnât reveal - or at least one thing he didnât share with her. âYou know each other already?â
âOnly a little,â Henry hastens to explain. It somehow feels very important that Ava know he didnât deceive her in this way.Â
âHenry and I briefly crossed paths the last time the Circus was here - what, four years ago?â Henry nods again. Emma and Ava and Nick and the rest of the Circus may have been to so many places since them that they donât remember exactly how long itâs been, but Henry could probably tell them down to the day if he just had a couple of minutes to think. âHe was kind enough to let me escort him back to the front gates. I must say, I didnât expect to see him here tonight, though⊠is there anything I ought to know?â
âNo!â Ava assures quickly. Itâs not remotely convincing; Henry barely manages to smother a smile as she continues her blatant evasion. âWe should go get a little something to eat. Come on, Henry, letâs go!â
To be fair, the spread that Ava leads him to - Nick pulling up the rear, laughing - is very impressive. There are all manner of little finger foods to carry with him, savory and sweet, and an older lady the twins call Granny who presides over the whole thing and makes Henry take another sandwich. All of the circus members - and it feels like Henryâs introduced to every single one - seem to treat the twins like a niece and nephew, or maybe even children. Thereâs an affection in the air amongst everyone thatâs almost palpable, and like nothing heâs ever encountered before. Itâs hard not to feel a little jealous of his new friends; itâs everything heâs ever wished for himself.Â
Eventually, heâs dragged across the grounds to what theyâll only call the cloud room after a stop by Emma again for a set of umbrellas that seem to actively repel water.Â
âItâs my favorite spot,â Nick explains as they shake off their umbrellas just inside the tent flap in a dim antechamber. Henry had barely caught a glimpse of the signage before heâd been bustled inside; Atmospheric Wonders had been less than illuminating a descriptor. âAvaâs is the carousel.â
âI like the animals,â she shrugs. âTheyâre interesting.â
âYeah, well, so is this,â her brother quips back. âHenry, look.â
And when Henry does - itâs more than his imagination ever expected.
Somehow, there are dozens of fluffy clouds floating within the confines of the tent, the top of the peaked canvas not even visible for all the clouds in the way. They come in all sizes, all winding around a central, silvery structure with a platform at the top and a slide spiraling back down to the ground. Somehow along the stretch from the ground to the indiscernible peak, the stripes shift into a night sky gently dappled with stars. Itâs mystical, and marvelous, and unlike anything heâs ever imagined.Â
Henry has barely processed what heâs seeing before Nick takes a flying leap onto a cloud hovering at chest height. Miraculously, it somehow holds his weight, bobbing gently in the air under the change of balance but showing no signs of capsizing.
âItâs really very sturdy,â he calls from his perch, grinning with glee. âThereâs nothing to worry about, I promise.â
Carefully, Henry steps onto a different cloud hovering about his knees; thatâs less distance to fall if thereâs any problem. Under his feet, the cloud isnât exactly firm, or stable - itâs more like if you try to step onto a mattress - but he can also feel that heâs not at risk of crashing down. Somehow, itâs just as safe as Nick promised.Â
(How did he miss this before? Now that Henryâs here, heâs not sure he ever wants to leave.)
Ava clambers up onto a cloud somewhere between him and Nick, abandoning grace to pull herself to standing. âItâs a newer tent,â she explains, brushing her skirt free of imaginary cloud dust and casually reading Henryâs mind. Maybe her brother isnât the only one with special powers of sight. âIt only went up a couple months ago, right, Nick?â
âJanuary,â he confirms. âJust after the new yearâs party.â
âNot a lot of people know about it yet - but itâs one of our favorites now. Nick and I like to come on the nights weâre not busy with other things.â
Across from them both, Nick obviously grows impatient with all the chatter, leaping to another, higher cloud. âRace you to the top!â he yells back, quickly becoming obscured from sight as he scrambles higher and higher.
Ava stretches her hand across the divide to help him forward. âYouâre going to love it,â she beams.
Henry takes her hand, gladly, and lets a smile crease his face even as hers stretches impossibly wider.Â
He does love it, just as she promised. The view from the top is spectacular, like something out of a fairy tale, an impression only magnified by small tufts of cloud still hovering around, inviting them to lounge. It would be a good place just to sit and think, Henry thinks, if you lived with the Circus and had that chance.Â
Time passes both quickly and slowly at the top of the tower as the three of them sit and talk for what must be hours. Henry feels as if heâs known the twins forever, not just a night - like he fits with them, somehow, in a way he never has with his schoolmates or the other children at the Home, and canât explain.
(Itâs the same feeling he remembers from the first time he visited the Circus, four years before. Of belonging. Of home.)
All too soon, things much end, however. As the conversation encounters a rare lull, Henry sighs heavily, knowing he must draw this to a close.Â
âI have to go,â he tells his companions - now friends, he thinks - with the kind of regret thatâs practically palpable.Â
Ava nods sadly; Henry scrambles to his feet to help her do the same. Itâs what a gentleman would do. âWe know. But this was lovely.â
âAnd youâll be back,â Nick says decisively. âI know it.â
Itâs not worth arguing with the boy with a gift.Â
Getting down from their perch takes a little more boldness. Technically, there is a slide they could all take advantage of, but Nick wonât let that stand.Â
âYouâve got to jump, Henry,â he cajoles. âItâs so much more fun. You feel like youâre flying!â
âMore like falling,â Henry mutters. Even if he knows that Nick wouldnât try to hurt him, like some of the boys at school might, looking down from this height makes his stomach turn.Â
Suddenly, a soft hand slips into his own. Ava, who slipped up beside him while he was distracted by the height. âWeâll do it together,â she promises, and somehow - Henry finds himself nodding.
Nick lets out a wild whoop and throws himself off the platform, gleefully tumbling down and down. Ava squeezes his hand tight, just the once, and then sheâs running too, bringing Henry with her as they leap. It feels like heâs left his stomach up at the top, but itâs a little freeing too. At the bottom, a particularly soft cloud cushions their fall, surrounding them like a hug. Henry even finds himself laughing along with Ava and Nick as they pick themselves back up.Â
Ava walks him back to the main gates under the marvelous umbrella, Nick letting them go on their own after offering Henry a jolly wave goodbye. The door in the iron bars opens without even a squeak, letting the both of them slip through.Â
âI donât want to leave,â Henry confides, the words spilling out of him almost without permission. âI donât want to go back to the real world out there.â
âYouâll be back,â Ava promises. âWeâll see each other again - I promise.â
He wants to believe her - he does. But itâs a mean world out there, and heâs long since learned that nothing is guaranteed, and â
Ava presses up on her toes to drop a quick kiss on Henryâs lips - his first. Itâs just a little peck, really, but it makes them both blush and sends something hopeful in his soul soaring above all the other negativity.Â
âTo seal it. The promise,â she explains.
No explanation was needed, really - not to the perfect ending to this dream of a night.
(He does not return to the Circus this time, the Sisters punishing him with extra chores when he sneaks back into the Home long after bed checks. Though he would like nothing more than to return back to the Circus and his new friends, he somehow canât regret it. Every moment was worth it.
Later, he finds a single glove, white with shiny black buttons, tucked into his pocket - proof for his dare. He never shows it off to the other boys; the little scrap of fabric is too personal, and too precious. Instead, he tucks it into the old cigar box he keeps all his treasures in, amongst the perfectly round stones and colored bits of glass and a brightly colored birdsâ feather. Let them think he never managed it. Theyâll forget soon enough anyways.Â
Weâll see each other again, Ava had promised - and Henry intends to wait.)
âââÂ
Thereâs a new attraction at the Circus again, Killian - the most wonderful carousel. Thereâs the usual carved horses, of course, all wonderfully detailed, but thereâs all manner of other creatures too - giraffes and elephants and a particularly clever ostrich. Thereâs even some mythical creatures too. Iâm particularly fond of the gryphon, though I suspect you might prefer the dragon. Thereâs even a bench seat with a kraken twining around it! Itâs truly charming; the kids love it, obviously, but itâs wonderful to see the delight of grown men and women too. I believe I saw a young couple squabbling over the cow yesterday; the lady won, of course. Wise man.Â
If you hadnât guessed already, the carousel is very obviously a creation of your winsome competitor. The ride travels through an enclosed portion at the back, ostensibly to parade the figures and their riders past a scrolling display of landscapes; however, having ridden the thing myself (I couldnât resist, Killian! And obviously chose the gryphon, though I was tempted by a polar bear), itâs obvious that this tunnel somehow bends reality, stretches the track much further than it should ever go. Magic is obviously at play, here, though I believe the visitors are too enthralled (and, as usual, too oblivious) to realize.Â
Thereâs something else a little unusual about the carousel: Mr. Boothâs part in bringing it to life. He was here in Brussels to oversee installation, or I might not have believed it. You know as well as I that usually, new installments just⊠pop up, without explanation. His craftsmanship is evident in the construction, too, if you know to look - the smooth curves and the intricate carvings and the way the peak of the striped roof stretches up towards the sky. Itâs lovely, really, and undeniably a joint effort between Mr. Booth and Miss Swan.Â
Does that mean heâs aware of her abilities? I canât say for certain, but I have trouble imagining otherwise. It could be interesting to see if you could enlist him in a similar effort - though of course, thatâs entirely up to you. Iâm merely reporting your opponentâs most recent move on the chessboard, so to speak.
(Do come see the carousel, though; I promise you wonât regret it.)
Affectionately yours,
Belle
âââ
Killian folds Belleâs latest letter carefully, considering her words as he meticulously files the pages away, just as he always does. The new carousel sounds beautiful, of course; Miss Swanâs creations always are. The fact that she enlisted August Booth to create it captures his attention the same way it had Belleâs. Thatâs something he never considered - drawing upon othersâ skills to create something that is not entirely mechanical, but not fully dependent on magic either. He should have thought of it sooner - after all, the Circus as a whole operates in a similar way, weaving enchantments in amongst all the physical manpower needed to bring the whole thing to life. It sets Killianâs mind running in other directions, other ideas that could be brought to life in the same way. And if Booth is aware of the things Miss Swan can do⊠perhaps he can serve as an intermediary, of sorts, in a way that could bring this competition to a new level.
But Killian is a patient man, a planner through and through. Itâs his greatest advantage in his employment and in this game. So before he lets his imagination run away with him, drafting things that can never come to fruition, he calls upon Booth at his office to test the waters of what is possible.Â
âI didnât expect to see you, Jones,â the other man says, smiling genially as he comes out from around the back of his heavy wooden desk to offer a handshake of greeting.Â
âIt was a bit of an unplanned visit,â Killian admits as he seats himself in the offered chair.Â
âWell thatâs quite alright. What can I do for you? Is this about the Circus, or are you finally looking to build something more comfortable than that little flat of yours?â
âItâs about the Circus.â Killian lets his gaze glance around the room before he speaks further, considering his next words. Though the furniture in the office at Boothâs architecture firm is heavy, with dark wood and intricate carvings and tall bookshelves lining two walls, the whole thing manages to avoid a feeling of claustrophobia due to a stretch of tall windows along one wall. A panel of stained glass is installed in the middle, with beautiful swirling patterns in all kinds of colors. The whole effect is a little whimsical, while somehow still ordered and elegant. In that moment, Killian can see exactly why August Booth was chosen as a partner to produce the Circus.Â
Drawing his attention back to Booth, Killian finds the man patiently waiting for him to start speaking, prompting him to gather his thoughts. âI understand you had a hand in creating a new attraction - a carousel.â
âAh yes,â August smiles. His tone is fond, almost like a parent speaking of a favorite child. âMarvelous, isnât it? Though, of course, I canât take full credit - or even most of the credit, really.â
âSo youâre aware of othersâ... unusual contributions, shall we say.â
Booth makes an amused, guttural noise from the back of his throat. âI may be a skilled designer, but not nearly enough to create space thatâs not there. And Iâm not nearly oblivious or egotistical enough to believe I can. Besides, Miss Swan was involved from the beginning. The carousel was her idea.â
Thatâs one question answered. âSo how much did Miss Swan tell you about her⊠abilities, I suppose? And her influence on the Circus?â
âA rudimentary explanation, I believe - just as much as I needed to agree to assist her. All her illusions are real, true magic, and sheâs engaged in a competition to be played out at the Circus.â Realization suddenly lights his eyes. âI suppose that makes you the competitor, then? She didnât seem to know who they were.â
âAye, I am. And I would appreciate it if you would keep that fact between us. This particular game doesnât precisely encourage familiarity between contestants.â
August waves him off. âOf course. Now, are you here just to talk about the carousel - or do you have something else in mind?â
âYou read my mind,â Killian says, letting a smile spread across his face. âI have an unusual idea, one that I think you can be of assistance with.â
âââ
Emma should have known that her opponent would hear of the carousel, and of her partnership with Mr. Booth. What she hadnât expected was for Mr. Booth to send her a letter, detailing an idea her competitor had brought to him.
One they want her involvement in as well.
Itâs a simple idea, on the surface - a maze of rooms. Its brilliance is in how it allows the two of them to interact and compete directly as they build off of each othersâ ideas. Once the maze is brought to life, once visitors enter the tent, they reach a hallway lined with doors, each leading into other rooms with other doors, and so on. Some will be hidden; some will be obvious. It is entirely up to Emma and whoever she is competing against to build out each room, testing the limits of imagination and reality and magic.Â
Itâs like a puzzle on a massive scale - each piece fitting into others which in turn fit into others. Itâs fascinating to see the things her opponent comes up with over time - creations that play with structure, with scale, like golden bird cages and a room where everything appears so large as to dwarf the viewer. She treasures exploring each one, finding all the hidden doors and discerning the way everything fits together.Â
Emma has a niggling feeling that this is not exactly how their competition is supposed to play out - but as she opens another door, she canât bring herself to care.Â
âââÂ
Maybe itâs ridiculous - but Killian feels like he comes to know the lovely Miss Swan a little better through the room maze and each addition she crafts from her imagination.
She focuses on creating an atmosphere, he finds - the little things that make each space feel like an environment, rather than a room. There are lush green jungles and arid desertscapes and the illusion of a lovely rose garden. He wonders if she feels trapped; all the illusions of open spaces make him think she might.Â
He can tell she truly loves the circus in all the little details she weaves in, too. It must take her incredible effort, but itâs worth it to see how leaves glisten with dew and the barest scent of earth or flowers tickles his nose and heat or chill dances along his skin. Thereâs pride to be found in the work she creates - all the things that take each room of the maze from the illusion of a space into something tangible and believable as its own natural world.
Sheâs smart, too: the hatches and doors out of her rooms are cleverly hidden, and often require searching for a key first. Killian thinks she might be trying to stump him, for all the time he spends searching for the way out in some rooms. Would she laugh if she could see him? Is he reacting in exactly the way she anticipated, or even intended?
(Would he even mind?)
Heâs not such a fool as to fall a little in love with his opponent in the rooms that she builds, but he does delight in receiving these little insights to her personality. It reminds him that Miss Swan is more than his opponent - sheâs a person, and one heâd love to know under other circumstances.
Only time will tell whether that makes things easier or harder.
âââ
To no oneâs particular surprise, Regina does not approve of the maze.
âThis is a waste of your time,â she proclaims to Emma on one of her rare (and never welcomed) visits. âYouâre supposed to be competing, not⊠collaborating.â She spits out the word like itâs a profanity; who knows, it likely is in her mind. Emma wouldnât be entirely surprised.Â
âIsnât this just a different way of competing?â Emma asks. Truthfully, she doesnât see the fuss. âIâd think it would be easier to compare, when we have to share the same structure. Well, even more than we usually do.â
âThis is not how things are supposed to work,â Regina snaps. âI didnât train you to be so stupid about this, Emma. You know better - this is⊠frivolous!â
âI like it,â Emma says, letting her voice display a quiet defiance. âI think itâs wonderful.â
Thatâs why sheâd led Regina to the maze in the first place, instead of simply taking tea in her compartment as usual - a little childish thought that maybe her mentor would see all the careful crafting she had put into each chamber. That maybe she would appreciate this unusual way in which Emma was stretching her abilities beyond what she thought was possible, challenged by the necessity of working around someone elseâs ideas in the most literal, compressed way. That maybe she would be proud.
Pride, at least for others, is not something thatâs in Reginaâs vocabulary, however - something that Emma has never been more aware of than in this moment, standing amongst the hedges of a shifting maze within a maze. Itâs an ever-changing creation, one that Emma had been particularly proud of.
Itâs easier simply to wind their way to the closest exit than to attempt to convince Regina any further; Emma has long since learned her mentor is an immovable force. If Regina hasnât been swayed by the creativity and brilliance of seeing the maze in person, no words will do it. So theyâll exit the maze and slip back into the backstage rooms, where Regina can berate her about her work ethic and how it seems like Emma doesnât even want this while still failing to offer any concrete details or advice, until Emma can make her escape to perform another show, displaying her abilities to a kinder audience. Thatâs how these things always seem to go, and now that her foolishly hopeful little bubble has been broken, thereâs no reason they wonât go that way again.Â
Then again, thereâs alway room for surprises and changes from the norm; Emma should know that, after so many years here at the Circus. As they exit into the chilled night air, Emma - and more importantly, Regina - clearly didnât expect to run into Mulan as the sword swallower wandered back towards her own lodgings.
Most days, Emma almost forgets this other source of magic buzzing around the circus. Itâs like white noise, almost; something Emma is subconsciously aware of, and can focus on when she chooses, but fades into the background most of the time. Theyâre friendly, but not quite friends - happy to spend time with one another, but rarely seeking each other out. Mulan is closer with Ruby, or with Belle. Itâs easy, in that way, for Emma to forget the higher force that binds the two of them together - Regina herself, who has been a teacher to both of them.Â
It is visibly obvious the moment they catch sight of one another: both straighten to their most rigid posture, Reginaâs face shifting into something even more haughty than her usual mien, and Mulan shifting to something cool and dangerous. The air between them practically crackles with restrained magical energy, sending the hair on Emmaâs arms to stand on end. Emma sends a silent thanks to whomever may be listening that this meeting occurred firmly in public; while the confrontation is primed to be bad as it is, she wouldnât relish being forced between them in a private setting. Or a dark alley.
For all of the danger sparking the air, it is almost anticlimactic when each party finally finds their words. âRegina,â Mulan says, coolly polite and with the barest incline of her head. Regina only jerks her chin in a broken nod in response.Â
And then theyâre moving their separate ways, the whole thing over. Maybe itâs better that way; it would be a pity if the Circus was razed to the ground, after theyâve all put so much effort into the venue. Thereâs a story there, though, one Emma doesnât know but canât help but wonder about. Sheâll have to ask Mulan, later; she knows very well that asking Regina will bear no fruit.Â
(She never does, of course, just another intention lost to time and her mentorâs berating. Not that it would have done any good, anyways. Mulan keeps her secrets locked as tight as the most impressive safe.)
âââ
Emma knows Belle, of course - theyâve both been with the Circus for more than a decade, and Emma isnât entirely self absorbed. Theyâre even friendly, in that way two people who work together but arenât particularly close can be. But never once in all that time can Emma remember actively seeking the other woman out - for her skills or anything else.Â
Belleâs particular skill unsettles Emma, she supposes. It feels a little hypocritical - Emma has magic, after all, she shouldnât feel so uncomfortable about fortune-telling. Thereâs something about the talent to see glimpses of the future, however, that has never sat quite right in her mind - that has always made her ever so slightly uncomfortable. Itâs not Belleâs fault; Emma knows as well as anyone that sometimes, these kinds of gifts choose their recipient instead of the other way around.Â
Emma goes at night, while the Circus is open, in between her own performances - just like any other querrant. Itâs a simple thing to blend into the crowd - after all, no one is expecting the illusionist to wander among them, especially in a dark coat and skirts turned crimson red with the touch of a finger. It takes no magic at all to slip down the silvery paths and duck into a tent labeled Fortune Teller: Feats of Fate and Prophecy.Â
Belle snaps into character as soon as Emma brushes past the beaded curtain welcoming visitors into her space, only to relax again as she recognizes Emmaâs face. âWhat a lovely surprise,â she comments with a pleased smile. âSit down, sit down. What can I do for you, Emma?â
âI was hoping for a reading,â Emma explains as casually as possible - as if this is no great favor. Still, it shoots the brunetteâs eyebrows up towards her hairline in surprise.Â
âI must say, I didnât expect that,â she comments. âI donât believe youâve asked such a thing of me before.â
âI havenât felt the desire before.â
âAh. You must face some kind of crossroads, then.âÂ
âTruthfully, I am not even sure enough to say that much,â Emma admits. Summoning a few coins into her hand, she pushes them across the table - payment for services rendered, as is typically custom in Belleâs little nook. âI hoped you might be able to shed more light on the matter than I can currently discern.â
Belle pushes the coins back. âKeep your money. Consider this a gift for a friend. Now, shall we?â As soon as Emma nods, Belle begins shuffling the cards - a quick, hypnotic motion, as each card flies past again and again. Once sheâs satisfied with the shuffle, she carefully fans the cards across her table, face down. âPick a card to represent yourself, if you please.â
Emma contemplates her options; truthfully, the tarot has never called to her, and this moment is no different. After some short examination, she selects one barely visible towards the left-hand side.
Belle chuckles a little as she turns the card over - and Emma can see exactly why, as soon as she sees the card. The Magician.Â
âNow, this card often represents a plethora of abilities or options you may not be fully aware of, especially in the face of impending change or disaster,â Belle explains. âAnd that may still be the case. However, under the circumstances, I suspect this card is supposed to be taken rather more literally in this particular reading, Madame Magician.â
Belle shuffles again, before cutting the deck into three portions and directing Emma to select one. Replacing the selected stack back at the top at the pile, she quickly doles the cards back out, in practiced patterns and an unexpected elegance. There are flashes of cups and swords on the cards between them, interspersed with picture cards of women and wheels and a couple reaching for one another.
(Emma does not think she has the time for whatever a card like The Lovers may symbolize.)
âI see what you mean,â Belle says after a long moment. âThere are significant changes here - in circumstance, in thinking, and in feelings. Whatever knot you have been working at in your mind will begin to unravel - one change that will spur many more. Now these changes - they seem imminent.â
âHow imminent?â
Belle cocks her head, examining again. âThereâs rarely an evident timeline that I can see,â she admits, âbut I would wager in the coming weeks or months.â
Emma nods. Itâs not really an answer - but it feels like validation, somehow. Like someone else can sense that something is on the horizon.Â
âNow, I asked about a crossroads, before we started,â Belle continues. âThe changes that are coming - they will not be your crossroads. This will not be the moment you have to make that decision. But each change will compound upon each other until it leads you to that crossroads - a choice youâll make that will change everything, again. It will not be for some time yet, but those seeds are being sown now.â
Emma nods slowly, taking it all in. There is an odd comfort in Belleâs words, even as Emma tells herself not to put too much stock in it. âThank you,â she finally says. âIs there anything else you can see?â
Belle shakes her head ruefully. âNot that I can see now, no. But Iâll keep looking. Sometimes, these things make themselves clearer given a few hours to think on them.â
âI understand. Thank you.â
Emma ponders the words as she emerges back into the night. A momentous change to come seems inevitable - both from her instincts and Belleâs own readings. All thatâs left to do is brace herself and face that change with an open mind and courage.
The weeks and months to come may change everything - and Emma intends to be ready for it.Â
âââ
Weâll be back in England next month - just in time for the rains, Iâm sure. As if they ever stop. I anticipate many inclement weather parties in my future, and I donât even need the cards to tell me that.Â
Speaking of which - be on the lookout for something, Killian. Change is in the cards and in the air. Something is on the horizon, and I think itâs best you be ready for whatever that might be.
Weâll have tea one afternoon next time Iâm in town, and you can buy me an absurd amount of books. I have several recommendations to give you from the last batch. I expect youâll feign interest and the time to read, just as always, but I donât particularly care. Youâll do it because Iâm your friend, and you love me.
Yours &c.,Â
Belle
âââ
That same feeling of anticipation, of something in the air, only intensifies when the Circus returns to London for a short stretch. Itâs been growing ever since Emma spoke with Belle, becoming more urgent as time goes by. A breaking point must come soon - though what that will herald, Emma doesnât pretend to know. Thereâs no use continuing to worry over something that will only reveal itself at the right time.
Emma throws herself into rediscovery instead, wandering all those places she used to know. Itâs hard to call London home, even though she grew up here - that designation has only ever belonged to her cramped and cozy little train compartment - but the city is familiar in a way thatâs comforting. She spent the first 24 years of her life here, after all; even trapped under Reginaâs thumb, she was able to discover little corners of the city all her own, park benches and cafe tables and backstage theater rooms.Â
(She doesnât intend to visit her benefactor during this stop, if she can at all help it; bringing Regina into things always invites trouble that Emma would rather avoid.)
Itâs raining on their first day in town, of course, like her own meteorological welcome. Emma smiles a bit at the thought of the clouds and raindrops and wind whispering a hello - though truthfully, sheâs seen odder things. Sheâs orchestrated odder things. The soft patter of raindrops on her umbrella is almost soothing as she walks down the cobbled streets to a favorite remembered cafe. Emma loves the Circus with every fiber of her being, both as her creation and as her home; still, sometimes itâs nice to escape for an afternoon and enjoy the anonymity of people watching or reading a nice book. Some days, she wants that distance; to be just another face in the crowd.
The afternoon passes quietly and uneventfully with her tea and scone and a silly novel. Itâs easy to blend into this little corner of London, tucked into the corner of a quiet street off the main road. Emma has always liked this place, and tries to visit whenever sheâs in the city; itâs something about the way that light dapples through the wide windows at the front, always perpetually just the slightest bit grimy, like dirt had accumulated just as soon as some poor soul had taken the efforts to clean them off. The used bookstore just across the street is a wonderful bonus too, where Emma sometimes finds unexpected treasures. Here, she can be just anyone else - no expectations, no grand fate. Just a woman at a weathered table.Â
All too soon, the clock on the wall chimes 4pm, prompting Emma to gather her things to leave. This time of year, even though spring approaches, the sun still sets early, heralding the opening of the circusâ wide gates. Emma is lucky enough to set her own performance hours during the night, generally aiming to do three or four shows in an evening; however, itâs still important that sheâs fully ready for the evening by the time the first visitors trickle into the grounds, regardless of the fact that she wonât make her own dramatic entrance for at least another half hour.Â
As she bustles out the door, she mentally runs through her checklist for the night of tricks she might like to perform. Thatâs the freeing thing about performing with real magic; not having to depend on mechanics means that she can improvise, that every single show can be different as she feeds off the audience and her current whims.Â
Sheâs so busy running through her possibilities for the night that she doesnât notice sheâs grabbed the wrong umbrella - not at first, at least. Itâs just one amongst a cluster of black fabric in the umbrella stand, each nearly identical to each other. Emmaâs put a special charm on hers that repels the rain; that slight buzz of magic is the only thing that differentiates hers from all the others. She picks it out by the feel alone, absentmindedly, before exiting into the deluge.
Something is off, though - something she realizes the further she walks from the cafe and comes back to full awareness. The charm on the umbrella is wonderfully effective, as always, but thereâs something⊠wrong about the magic. Emmaâs own magic has a particular warm feel to it, one that largely fades into the background of her mind until she barely notices it. This, though⊠the buzz continues, like a pricking or a tickle under her skin. Foreign.
Not hers.
Realization draws her up short. This umbrella - clearly imbued with powerful magic - magic like her opponent would possess - in the cafe at the same time -Â
A polite clearing of the throat causes Emma to whip around, revealing an unexpectedly familiar face: Jeffersonâs assistant, the handsome one, who she remembers lurking at the edges of ballrooms and the back of theatres and in the densest of crowds. Jones - something with a K. Or a C? Kelvin? Carson? No â
âExcuse me, Miss Swan,â Killian Jones smiles warmly, âbut I believe you have my umbrella.â
Summary: Two people are trained from childhood for a magical competition they don't fully understand, whose stakes are higher than they imagine, all to be played out in a magical traveling circus. Falling in love complicates things. A CS AU of the book âThe Night Circusâ.
Rated M. ~15.2K. Also on AO3.
A/N: Presenting my contribution to the @cssnsâ! âThe Night Circusâ by Erin Morgenstern is a favorite book of mine that I have long thought would make for an excellent CS AU. And so, Iâm finally doing it. At length.Â
I was incredibly lucky to be paired with @eirabachâ for this event, who created the beautiful art attached above. She has such amazing ideas for bringing this fic to life in all its atmospheric glory that I never would have thought of. Her art is also posted on her tumblr; go give it all the love it deserves!
Thanks also go to @snidgetsafanâ, my ever-phenomenal beta, and @ohmightydevviepuuâ, who read the book at my urging and then agreed to read my monster to make sure nothing important was left out. This fic is better for both their efforts.Â
Tagging the usual suspects for now. If you want to be added to (or removed from!) this list, just shoot me a message: @welllpthisishappeningâ, @profdanglaisstuffâ, @thisonesatelliteâ, @let-it-rainesâ, @kmomof4â, @scientificapricotâ, @thejollyroger-writerâ, @superchocovianâ, @teamhookâ, @optomisticgirlâ, @winterbaby89â, @searchingwardrobesâ, @katie-dubâ, @snowbellewellsâ
Enjoy - and let me know what you think! Next chapter will be posted whenever I get it done.Â
~~~~~
The circus arrives at night.
There is never any warning of its arrival; no handbills stuck to the lampposts or announcement from some other lucky town that yours will be next. It is simply there one morning, all the black and white tents taking on a particularly mystical quality in the light of the sunrise. At the front gate is a sign:
            Le Cirque des RĂȘves
          Open sunset until sunrise
(And what a curious idea, that; a circus that is only open at night.)
The circus is a place where anything can happen, and routinely does. Those who visit leave with an awareness that no street-side carnival or traveling minstrel will ever induce such enjoyment again; everything must naturally pale in comparison. The illusionist is somehow more magical, the fortune-teller more wise, the contortionists and acrobats more daring. The world of the circus, created all in black and white and silver and lit by delicate lanterns and a great bonfire at its center, feels otherworldly - and you somehow feel that it just might be.Â
In a word, the circus is magic, brought to life right in front of your eyes, and you know you will never be the same for having witnessed it.Â
Our story does not begin at the circus, however; it only ends there.
âââ
Our story begins in the back corner of a smoky tavern, or a grimy alley, or a dimly lit dressing room of a theater, or any number of other places that exist in-between the rest of humanity, overlooked, utterly invisible in their mundanity.
(In truth, it does not matter where our story begins - only that it does.)
A woman sits in a darkened corner. More attentive observers might recognize her as the famed stage magician, Circe the Enchantress, capable of tricks beyond their wildest imagination.
(Even the most observant wouldnât realize that all of Circeâs âtricksâ are gloriously real; the human mind is excellent at not seeing things that it doesnât want to acknowledge.)
(The most observant wonât notice the way she purposefully draws the shadows further around herself, either, just to ensure that the rest of humanity around her canât penetrate the curtain of dark.)
Circe isnât her real name, of course; it just sounds good on a playbill, capable of attracting people from far and wide. These days, she goes by Regina Mills, though thereâs been other names before that: Corwin and King and Bowen and Smith. Names arenât much of a concern for those as old as she, just another passing distraction when youâve witnessed hundreds of years.
Hundreds of years donât make the waiting any easier when the person youâre expecting canât bother to arrive on time.
âYouâre late,â she comments drily when her companion finally arrives, a slight man with a slighter limp. They may as well be a study in opposites; where Regina plays with shadow to avoid notice, heâs draped himself in a spell that causes an observerâs eyes to glance away without seeing; while Regina tries on names like hats over the decades and centuries, changing with every whim, her companion has allowed his own moniker to become lost to time, known only now to very few and only as Mr. Gold.Â
âAu contraire, dearie,â he replies mildly, though the irritated glint in his eye would terrify anyone else. âI arrived exactly when I needed to. What is time to those like us, anyhow?â
âA convenient construct that keeps those you have appointments with from waiting around for any longer than they have to.âÂ
Mr. Gold studiously ignores the quip. âWhy did you ask me here tonight, Regina?âÂ
âIâm in the mood for a game,â she says, faux-casually. âItâs been so long since weâve had a proper competition.â
âAh yes,â her companion smirks. âIf I remember right, my contestant defeated yours last time.â
âOn a technicality,â Regina corrects through gritted teeth.
âIn this world of absolutes, I often find a technicality is all it takes to shift the balance. And magic, true power⊠thatâs the greatest technicality of them all.â
âIâm rather less inclined to deal in technicalities, at least where the matter of starting a new game is involved,â Regina snaps. Any minute shred of patience or humor she might have possessed is long since gone, even if her companion remains unruffled. âIt really boils down to: do you want to, or not?â
âNever let it be said I turn down a challenge, dearie.â This time, itâs impossible to miss the menace behind the supposed endearment. âIn fact, Iâd say you were the one being⊠shall we say, vague about the details of this all. Do you have a venue in mind? Or are you leaving that particular bit up to me?â
Regina waves a dismissive hand. âDo as you will. You know Iâm not much interested in that, anyways.â
âYou never did understand the importance of setting.â
âPerhaps I simply have faith that my contestant will prevail regardless.â
That piques Goldâs interest. âYou already have a candidate in mind, then?â
âAnd fully anticipate taking them as a student, yes. I suppose youâll want to be there to bind them to the competition?â
âYou know me well.â
âI should bloody well hope so,â Regina mutters under her breath. They both know, however, that Mr. Gold hears the words regardless.Â
Carefully, the man in question stands from the table, supporting himself on a gilt-ended cane. Any limp that might necessitate such an accessory has long since been corrected; some things are more about the effect, anyways. âIf thereâs nothing else, Regina, I have other matters to attend to.â
âI expect you do,â Regina smirks. âAfter all, Iâve already spotted my player, and youâve yet to find yours.â
âThat is true,â Gold concedes with a deceptive mildness. âBut remember, dearie: it isnât about how the game starts, or when, or where. Itâs about where it ends. And I have full confidence my acolyte will be able to last the distance.â
With their business concluded, both magicians fade back into the night. Pedestrians continue along the streets, occasionally interrupted by a horse and carriage, all unaware of the true nature of the beings weaving through their midst.
(Dozens of lives have been altered with this ten minute conversation, but the world at large will never know that either.)
âââ
Emma Swan spends a lot of time by herself.
Thatâs to be expected, in some ways; sheâs an orphan, after all, having spent all 6 years of her life bouncing between begging in the childrenâs homes and begging on the streets, desperate for the help of others and receiving very little of it.Â
But Emma is different, in a way that scares others and has left her to bounce around for years. Emma can do things that others canât do, like the sparks that dance between her fingers and all the little things that sometimes move, falling off shelves and tables and everything else, whenever sheâs upset. She canât control it, not really, and in a life like hers, there are far too many opportunities to be upset.Â
A lady had seen her the other day - one of the fancy ladies by the theaters, the kind that usually pretend they donât see Emma, like her very existence might dirty their skirts. Emma hadnât meant to - she never means for these things to happen. But the days are getting colder, and when she really starts to shiver, even with her arms curled around herself to conserve heat, sometimes the little sparks just happen. Itâs like whatever this thing is is just trying to keep her warm too.
And no one should have seen her, tucked away in that corner, but the lady is already looking around with a frown on her face like sheâs searching for something, and when she turns Emmaâs way, it just happens. The ladyâs eyes focus on Emma, drawn by those little shoots of light, even as she shoves her hands into her armpits. Emma expects gasping, or screaming, or maybe even a panicked shout for the police - it wouldnât be the first time - but instead, the lady just tilts her head and narrows her eyes, as if sheâs seen something interesting. Then she nods abruptly and leaves.
Emma doesnât expect to see the lady again - indeed, she rather thinks sheâs dodged a bullet. But a week later, she rounds the corner with a filched apple and runs straight into the lady.
âSorry, Maâam,â Emma mumbles, ducking her head and trying to scoot around the older woman. When the lady darts out an elegant hand to grab Emmaâs arm and hold her in place, panic courses through her veins. âPlease, Maâam, I didnât do nothing, I swear ââ
âOh donât be ridiculous,â the lady snaps, tugging Emma into the mouth of an unnaturally quiet alley. âI donât care about whatever you âdidnât doâ. I want to talk about what you did the other day.â
âI donât know what you mean,â Emma mumbles, staring studiously at her feet.
âOf course you do - the lights, in your hands. Donât lie to me. Thatâs a gift, donât you know that?â
Emma shakes her head no.
âYour gift - it can do wonderful things. It makes you special.â
âIâm not special.â
The lady considers that for a moment before answering. âNo. But you could be. I could teach you.â
Now that catches Emmaâs attention. âYou can? How?â
âI can do things like that too,â the lady explains with a smile that seems more smug than pleased. Sure enough, when the lady turns her hand upright, a small ball of flame burns there. Emmaâs eyes practically bulge out of her head as she watches that little lick of fire - like her own, in so many ways.
âIf you come with me, Iâll make sure youâre taken care of,â the lady says. It sounds like an order, not an offer; Emma knows how to recognize those. Still, maybeâŠ
âLike a mother?â she asks hopefully, even if she knows thatâs unlikely.
The lady scrunches her nose in a kind of instinctual disgust. Itâs about as much as Emma expected. âHeavens, no. Donât be ridiculous,â she scolds. âNo, more like⊠youâd be my apprentice, and Iâd teach you our trade.â
That seems odd to Emma; this lady, with her fancy dress and her fancy hat and her posh accent, doesnât seem like the type who should have to work. âWhatâs your work?â
For the first time this whole conversation, the lady bends down to properly meet Emmaâs eyes. Emma straightens a bit at the gesture, already able to tell sheâs about to impart something important. âMagic,â the woman tells her with a smug, adult kind of smile.
âMagic isnât real,â Emma says back, almost automatically. Six years in orphanages and left to her own devices have long since proved there are no fairy godmothers in this world, not for little girls like her.Â
The woman straightens. âThe bits of it you have dancing around your fingers right now say otherwise.â
Emma looks down in horror to see it again - the sparks that she tries so hard to hide, that give her so much trouble. For all the mad things this lady says, sheâs the first to not look at the display in alarm or even fear.Â
âYou can make it go away?â
âI can teach you to control it,â the lady corrects, âand so much more. Iâm offering you the chance of a lifetime, Emma. Donât be such a fool as to reject that.â
And even at six, Emma is not a fool.
Emma goes with the lady, who she learns is called Regina. She never learns how Regina knew her name, but writes it off as magic.
(There are far worse fates for lost girls like her.)
âââ
Emma has been with Regina for a week when the strange man shows up backstage at the theater where Regina is performing.
One week isnât a lot of time in the grand scheme of an apprenticeship, but her teacher is guiding Emma to recognize magic in the world - the way it pulls toward Emma like an odd kind of magnet and traces linger in the air for hours. Emma has learned to see the faint, radiating glow of magic around her own mentor; this man doesnât quite have the same glow, but thereâs a hum that emanates from him that she thinks might be the same thing.Â
Regina introduces the man as a friend, but Emma doesnât think thatâs quite right. Sheâs always had a knack for recognizing lies - maybe thatâs a kind of magic, she wonders now - and her benefactor isnât quite telling the truth. Maybe thatâs one of the half-lies that adults tell, when they think the truth is too difficult for a child to comprehend.
Regardless of what the man might be - friend, foe, acquaintance, something else altogether - Emma canât help but feel uncomfortable under his piercing gaze. The sparks burst and dance around her fingertips again, entirely without her say-so - something the man quickly notices.
âYouâve found a natural talent, then?â The words are addressed at Regina, but his eyes never leave Emma.
âI told you I had someone in mind,â Regina bites back, just barely on the right side of civility. âNow, if you donât mind, I donât have all day.â
âPatience was never your strong suit, was it, Regina?â The manâs tone is mild, but his eyes flash with displeasure. Still, he crouches in front of Emma, granting her his full attention. Though he carries a cane, the movement doesnât appear to pain him in the way she expects. âWhat do they call you, young miss?â
She doesnât particularly want to answer, but Regina has a particular look in her eye that says that she doesnât really have a choice. âEmma,â she finally mumbles, avoiding the manâs eyes.
âEmma,â he parrots back. âWhat a lovely name. May I see your hand, Emma?â
Silently, she offers it, palm facing up. Once she does so, the man slips a plain gold ring off his pinky finger, sliding it onto Emmaâs own ring finger instead. Curiously, Emma looks at the bauble; it is far too loose on her small finger at first, but as she watches, the band shrinks to fit until itâs a perfect fit. It doesnât stop though, continuing to tighten and tighten until the metal sears into her skin, burning the flesh until she cries out in pain and tears spring to her eyes.Â
And then itâs over. The mysterious man lifts her hand with deceptively soft and delicate fingers, removing that awful ring from her digit to slip it back onto his own.
âYouâll do well, Emma.â The name almost sounds like an insult in his cold voice. âI wish you good fortune.â
(Emma doesnât notice the item wrapped in a handkerchief Regina passes to the odd man, never realizes that it contains a silver ring to match the one he just used on her, too focused on rubbing at the smooth, scarred skin on her finger where the odd manâs ring just branded her and trying to chase the memory of pain away. One day, she will understand the way that this moment and that ring bound her to a future she didnât fully understand.
But today, Emma is six, and all she knows is that her finger hurts.)
âYou donât want to do this yourself?â Mr. Gold asks, tucking the handkerchief and ring into his inner breast pocket.
âObviously not. Iâm not nearly as mistrusting as you are,â Regina replies.
(One day soon, Mr. Gold knows he will have cause to execute this binding on a student of his own. It does not matter much to him whether Regina is present for such a binding, though he thinks her a fool for her own sake. After all, knowledge is power - and there is no power greater than knowing your opponent.)
âââ
A strange man comes to Killianâs school on a Wednesday when he is eight, the kind of day where everything is shifting and changing.
(School is a generous word for this place, as none of the children ever leave, no homes or families to return to at the end of the day. Killian has a brother, three years older, but their mother is long dead. As for their father⊠as Liam says, the less said about the bastard, the better. There is a reason the two boys have found themselves in this childrenâs home by any other name.)
The man doesnât say much, and explains even less. A selection of children, three boys and two girls - including Killian and Liam - are pulled from their regular classes and made to sit for an exam, only instructed to read all the instructions before beginning. The man must have money; the test is printed, each letter pressed in black ink onto the crisp page. It feels like a silly use of money, at least to Killian - heâd much rather use it at one of the concession vendors down by the river - but itâs impressive all the same. The test itself is not fully any one subject; there are translations of languages he doesnât understand and number puzzles and a curious instruction at the end to only answer questions numbered in multiples of three. At the very end - question 57 - is a short answer question: Why do you think you are here today, and why are you taking this test?
Killian looks around the room at the other children, all diligently working on their own exams. Thereâs no obvious connector between the five children in the room; Liam has always been brilliant, but Killian is a middling student, and the other boy even lower than that. Some of them are known as quiet and well behaved, but some are not. Some are leaders, some are followers. Thereâs no obvious pattern.
As to why heâs taking this test⊠itâs obvious that the man must want to evaluate something, but Killian canât begin to understand what. As far as his young brain can discern, the exam is about recognizing patterns and following directions. He couldnât even begin to figure out why.
Killian stares at the space for his answer for what feels like hours. Even after nearly three years in this home, or perhaps because of it, he still has a strong desire to please, to give adults the answers they want to hear; in this case, he just doesnât know what that is. Finally, as the other children start to put down their pencils, he hurriedly scrawls an answer.
Does it really matter?
After the exams are collected, the children are called in to speak with the man, one by one. None of the conversations are very long, and each trails out with a look of confusion on their face afterwards. Killian tries to catch Liamâs eye as his brother leaves the headmistressâ office, but Liam just furrows his brow and shrugs his shoulders in confusion.
The man holds Killianâs test in his hands when he finally enters the office, appearing to examine his answers. The man is perfectly ordinary in every way; neither short nor tall, thin nor fat, with hair that is not quite brown or blond or grey. The only thing that sets him apart is his clothing - the expensive suit, the perfectly shined shoes, the gold-tipped cane.Â
âDoes it really matter?â the man quips, diving straight in and obviously quoting Killianâs own response.
Killian swallows heavily; he wouldnât have written that in the first place if he knew this was coming. âSir?â
âYour answer,â he expands, as if that needs clarifying. âIâd be curious to hear why you gave that particular answer.â
Killian flushes and looks at his shoes, but the man just waits until he finally answers. âIt was obvious you had a reason for having us sit that exam,â he finally explains, âand I had no idea why that was. I didnât want to guess.â
âYou could have left it blank,â the man points out. âSeveral of the others did. Why the question?â
Killian shrugs. âI wanted to know.â Then, when the silence stretches out between them: âWas that wrong?â
The man stares in silence for a moment longer, before shaking his head. âI would like to take you on as my student,â he declares. When Killian hesitates, his tone turns sharp. âAre you opposed to that?â
âWhat about my brother?â Killian asks, meeker than heâd like.
âI am only interested in taking one student.â His words are dismissive, bordering on uncaring, and Killianâs stomach plummets.
âBut what will happen to him? Heâs the only thing I have left.â
âIâm more interested in what happens to you, particularly in relation to my offer, than in your brother.â
In a burst of courage (or, heâll think in later years, foolishness), Killian pulls himself together to make a fateful declaration. âIâll go with you⊠but only if you send Liam - send my brother to school.â
âThis is a school.â
âA good school,â Killian clarifies. âThe best one. One that will let him do anything he wants when heâs grown up.â
Thereâs a pause as the mystery man seems to study Killian, though his face gives nothing away. Killianâs heart climbs into his throat as he waits, but he holds his ground. That seems important, somehow - like heâs engaging in some kind of unknown battle. Finally, after what seems an eternity, the odd man tilts his head in a half shrug, as if such a concession is nothing to him. Who knows; with the kind of money he obviously has, maybe it really is nothing. âWe have a deal. Go get your things - we leave today.â
(Months later, after many lessons that Killian doesnât yet understand, the man - Mr. Gold - has Killian place a ring on his finger, a loop of silver that burns a band of flesh on his thumb. A binding, Mr. Gold calls it, tying Killian to a contest that he does not yet understand.
However, it is this transaction - Liamâs education for Killianâs own - that binds him far sooner and better than magic ever could.)
âââÂ
Magic, Emma finds, is a thread upon the breeze - swirling around them all, lighting upon branches and settling into corners, just waiting to be noticed and harnessed. And Emma does - she feels it, and knows it, and asks it for favors. Dye the dress. Fold the sheet. Heal the dove. The magic deigns to come and wind through her fingers, grip a thread and pull and alter the world to her liking.Â
Magic, she finds, is whimsy and wildness all in one, there for her to use and set free once again. Magic is power, more than she will ever wield; her role is but to borrow and return, like a toy set neatly back on a shelf.Â
Magic, she finds, is a living thing all its own, and if she works very hard, she just might earn its trust.
Emma grows to enjoy a better childhood than she ever expected before Regina took her off the streets, though it is far from gentle. It is a childhood spent moving from place to place, hopping all over Europe and even to the Americas as Regina performs in theaters around the world. Regina demands nothing less than perfection in their lessons, and Emma grows used to performing the same tasks over and over until her mentor is satisfied - turning tea cups into mice and materializing all manner of objects from unseen rooms and healing her fingertips from where Regina slices the skin with a knife, each scar a supposed indication that sheâs not trying hard enough.
But in time, Emma learns and she grows. At 18, Regina deems her skills honed enough to rent her out as a medium, calling upon Emmaâs skills to rattle dishes and peer into peopleâs deepest, saddest thoughts to echo back just what they want to hear. Emma hates every moment of it - lying to people already wracked with grief, taking their money and offering them little satisfaction. She tries to comfort the bereaved as best she can in these sessions, but itâs often of little use. Emma may dread these hollow performances, but what choice does she have? As long as sheâs under Reginaâs tutelage and protection, Emmaâs choices are not her own.Â
(She may not know nearly as much about this competition as she should, but Emma longs for the beginning of the contest all the same, if only to finally crawl out from underneath Reginaâs thumb.)
âââ
Magic, Killian finds, is a well of ink, the feeling of satisfaction deep within him when pen births onto page the perfect word, a descriptor for all the things he knew but could never say. It takes hours and years of study, but Killian learns all the ways to channel that pool - each spell, each rune, each intricate bit of charmwork. Magic is hard, but Mr. Gold says all power worth having is; besides, Killian has always been diligent.Â
(The lessons are much more interesting than his regular schoolwork, anyways.)
Magic, he learns, is there, if one just knows how to look for it. Most people will go their entire lives without being aware of that; heâs special to have learned. Knowing opens a whole universe of possibility; after that, itâs all down to technique, and finding the right language to channel it.Â
Magic, he finds, is a tool, and if he works very hard, he just might be able to harness it to his will.Â
Killianâs childhood is a regimented one, filled with books and careful note taking, mastering the theory and principle of every bit of magic he encounters before being allowed to put it to use. As the years stack up, his head fills with runes and symbols and all manner of magical words, like another language heâs slowly become fluent in. In time, Killian learns to piece all of it together into a powerful language only known to a select few - words that can make things happen, that can alter the very world around them. The language of magic, at its very core.
Mr. Gold may be a distant mentor, not prone to affection and rarely even telling Killian heâs proud or pleased, but he keeps his word. Liam attends the best boysâ school that money can secure, impressing his teachers with his innate curiosity and intelligence and making a whole host of friends who are happy to host him on school holidays. Once a month, Mr. Gold takes Killian to see Liam, or brings Liam to see Killian, all with a transport more efficient than any train or carriage. In between, the brothers gladly fill the weeks with exchanged letters, keeping one another apprised of their lives. Killian had told Liam about this arrangement from the beginning - the magic, the competition heâll one day engage in - and his older brother offers all the pride that Killian doesnât receive from his mentor. Itâs not the path that either anticipated following as children, but itâs a much better life than either expected. Thereâs a lot to be grateful for.
As Killian grows into a man and learns how to study independently, his enigmatic teacher leaves him to his own devices. Killian prefers it that way, really; though heâs always been grateful for the mysterious, once in a lifetime opportunity heâs been offered, Killian has never been close to his benefactor, not by a long shot. Thereâs a feeling that hangs over every interaction that heâs never been able to shake, that he owes Mr. Gold in ways heâll never fully understand. Itâs never made for an easy relationship.
Besides, he likes his independence. He is granted a little flat in a quiet and respectable part of the city, with room for a library and a pretty view of a nearby park. Itâs more than an orphan like him ever imagined he could have before this opportunity fell in his lap. There are moments of loneliness, but no more than heâs grown used to in youth; besides, as adults, Liam drops by for conversation and a nightcap far more frequently. Itâs a little life heâs carved out for himself, with his notebooks and spellbooks and everything in its place, even as he continues the interminable wait for a contest he still barely knows anything about.
Itâs all the more surprising, then, when one day the knock at his front door reveals none other but his teacher, as neatly turned out as ever and utterly unexpected.
âWonât you come in?â Killian asks, stepping aside in welcome. He doesnât much expect the invitation to be accepted, but he asks all the same; heâs used to interactions with his teacher being strictly business.Â
Sure enough: âThat wonât be necessary. This will only be a moment.â Goldâs tone might generously be described as brusque, if Killian was in a mood to be so generous. Heâs not, particularly.Â
âWhat can I do for you, then?â
âA Mr. Jefferson Madigan will be seeking a secretary and assistant,â Gold tells him, handing over someone elseâs calling card. âYou will apply for that position.â
Itâs an odd command; Killianâs benefactor has never cultivated much of an opinion about his life of study and leisure up to this point. But suddenly, it clicks. âIs this about the challenge?â
âMr. Madigan and his companions will be creating a venue.â Technically, itâs neither a confirmation nor a denial, but over the years, Killian has learned to read those answers as well as any book. Itâs an affirmative. âIt will be to your advantage to become part of that circle.â
âI understand,â Killian nods gravely.
âMake sure that you do.â
Killian looks down to examine the address on the calling card, and by the time he looks up again, Gold is gone. His teacher does that, heâs learned - found a way to move through the world while barely leaving a mark upon it. With the conversation clearly over, Killian closes his flat door.
(All the while, a metaphorical door of possibility has been thrown wide open.)
âââ
Mr. Jefferson Madigan may be the man for whom the word eccentric was crafted.
The townhouse is only a townhouse in the aristocratic sense of the word, more an elaborate and enormous monolith situated in town than just a normal dwelling. The door knocker is cast in the shape of two dragons, and curtains in a variety of different and garish colors peek through the window. At the bottom of what are otherwise staid, conventional stone steps are marble statues of a rabbit and a dormouse where regal lions might usually be.
It all makes sense when the man himself opens the door. While Killian has taken care to dress neatly in a trim, dark colored suit and tie, making his best attempt at the appearance of professionalism, Madigan is a riot of colors and patterns that Killian isnât entirely certain match, but seem fitting all the same. Behind him, the entry hall is decorated in a jewel-tone blue with golden patterns and baseboards, but that makes a little more sense now that Killian has seen the man himself.
âAre you here about the vaudeville acts? Because Iâm afraid that weâre rather moved on from that idea,â he says without introduction, words tumbling one right over the other in a jumble.
âI⊠No,â Killian manages to stutter out. A question like that has a way of putting a man off-guard. âI was led to believe you were in need of a secretary or assistant?â
âAh. That makes more sense.â Mr. Madigan nods as if to cement it in his head. âHave you done that kind of work before?â
âNo, Sir.â
âWell, thatâs fine, Iâve never had a secretary before either.â By the look on his face, Madigan would be much more comfortable conducting an interview for a vaudeville actor than a secretary. âThen can you⊠I donât know. Read and write and do sums? File things? I donât think Iâve ever filed something in my life,â he mutters to himself.
âYes, Sir. To all of it.â
âWell then good, youâre hired. Do you think I need to be filing things? Itâs something Iâve never really thought about before.â
Jefferson, as he prefers to be called (âDonât even try that Mr. Madigan nonsense, I wonât answer to it.â), is planning a circus - what Killian imagines is the venue heâs heard about for a decade and a half. And it sounds magnificent the way Jefferson describes it - something otherworldly. More an entire sensory experience than just a show, spanning dozens of tents and food stands and performers scattered across the grounds. The way he envisions it, the endeavor is more experience than anything else - simultaneously a performance space and a theater and a zoo and a venue for all kinds of edible delicacies. Perhaps carnival would be the better word, but Jefferson insists on circus.Â
âThereâs a sense of mystery to the word, Killian,â he decrees while jotting down what is doubtless another half-baked idea on the back of a receipt. âAnyone can hold a carnival, but a circus⊠marvelous, magical things happen at the circus. It will look better in the papers anyways.â
(Killian will need to do so much filing to keep all this in order.)
It quickly becomes obvious that Jefferson is primarily an ideas man - and while his ideas are spectacular in so many ways, he needs assistance in bringing those ideas to life. Itâs immediately obvious why he needs an assistant; for a man who spends so much of his time with his head in the clouds, lost in ideals and fanciful imagining, itâs hard to manage the practicalities of the day-to-day implementation.Â
There are investors of course, men who flit in and out of the planning at will as if just to make sure that their money is actually being used properly. Killian isnât fully surprised to see his mentor is one of them; doubtless, thatâs how he knew to direct Killian to Jeffersonâs door in the first place. He doubts that anyone else truly remembers the man, however; Killian has long since learned to recognize the cloak of forgetability his teacher likes to draw around himself.Â
(There are different kinds of power, Killian has learned over the years - the kind that comes from everyone knowing what you can do, and the kind that comes from no one knowing what you can do.)
(Or may have been, at least; Killian has a feeling that this circus he envisions may surpass anything else.)
The circus is born at one of these dinners - an intimate one, with only five attendees, handpicked by Jefferson as the men and women necessary to bring his vision to life. The vaguest outline was sketched that first night, tacked to the walls in the emerald green study Jefferson has set aside especially for the circus and its plans. Already, there is a stack of opened envelopes on a side table, filled with ideas the other attendees simply couldnât hold onto until the next meeting.
Theyâre an interesting collection, certainly. Madame Constance Blue is a former opera singer whoâs found a second career in fashion. Her eye for color and aesthetic is fabled as being unmatched - a talent she brings to this endeavor to create a cohesive environment that looks like another world on the outskirts of the city. Elsa and Anna Frost are a pair of sisters, socialites who have tried a little bit of everything, from a stint in the ballet and art school to a time as librarians they will only speak about after great persuasion. Where Madame Blue may create a visual environment for the circus, the Misses Frost are experts on the feel - all of the rest of those details from the positioning of signage to the very scents in the air, those details that so few consider but still manage to sell or doom an experience. Their little group, most meetings, is rounded out by Mr. August Booth, an architect and engineer by trade, who draws up marvelous plans for each tent and attraction. All of it embodies an elegant simplicity centered around a series of circles, one curve bleeding into another in a way that feels organic, nearly living. It makes the straight black and white stripes of the tents all the more striking in contrast to this world of elegant curves. One contributorâs work bleeds into the other, all with Jefferson at the helm to lend his ideas of what kinds of things should be presented, creating a venue that feels like a realization of all their dreams.
(The last attendee, Mr. Gold - who betrays no indication that he and Killian are even remotely acquainted - has no particular, obvious specialty that he lends to the endeavor. In fact, he barely seems to speak and is nearly forgotten in the rest of the bustle of the Circus Dinners. Somehow, though, even if no one can put their finger on what exactly Mr. Gold does, it is agreed that his contributions are essential, and that everything runs smoother and more productively at those few dinners he does attend.)
(He is always referred to by surname; though the other attendees are certain they were told his first name upon first introduction, they have no memory of what that moniker might be, and decide it would be rude to ask. )
With each dinner, the Circus fleshes out a little bit more, each piece carefully filed away so it can all fit together later. There are designs for the gates and Augustâs wonderful blueprints for the butterfly tents and lists of confections that must be offered. As time keeps churning forward, the members of their little dinner group increasingly start to travel, seeking out the perfect craftsmen and performers and creators to bring this endeavor to life. There are acrobats training in France and an intricate clock being crafted in Germany and Jefferson and Killian will be travelling to Scotland next week to see about a pair of big cat trainers as August travels to Austria to see about some trained horses.
But tonight, theyâre all here for dinner, and thereâs an unexpected guest at the door. A tall, slender woman, who claims to be a sword swallower.
âWhatâs the harm?â Jefferson asks when Killian informs him cautiously, sweeping his arm in a grand motion. The Circus Dinners are exclusive, and nearly sacred, but sheâs here about the circus. And Jefferson has always been generous by nature. âShow her in, Jones, weâll set another plate at the table.â
The woman introduces herself as Mulan - no second name, and no indication whether thatâs her given name or surname. As the clock strikes midnight and the first plates are brought out, she climbs the low dais usually reserved for a pianist and begins her demonstration.
And it is so much more than just a sword swallowing act. Mulan moves with an almost supernatural grace, whirling her blades in an intricate and deadly dance. She tosses her swords and balances them on the tips of fingers and the ridge of her chin. And she does send the swords down her gullet, in ways that make Anna and Elsa and even composed August gasp. Each move blends one into another into another, beautiful in a savage way that leaves them all on the edge of their seats as she twirls and even flips. It mesmerizes their little audience, as delicate appetizers sit untouched on their plates.
At the conclusion of her display, Mulan resheathes her swords with a satisfying hiss of metal against metal before executing a dramatic bow, nearly bending in half in the process. Their audience erupts into applause; across from Killian, Jefferson springs to his feet in a standing ovation.
âBrilliant! Simply brilliant!â Jefferson darts up to the platform to shake Mulanâs hand vigorously, much to her apparent amusement. âWe simply must have you for the circus. A platform out in the open in the crowds, right near the center, donât you think, Elsa?â
âIt certainly would be a shame to hide her away in a tent,â the blonde agrees. âI donât think weâll find anyone else to match her talent, either. Would you be comfortable with that? Performing to a passing crowd?â she addresses Mulan to finish.Â
Mulan nods solemnly, though a slight smile dances in her eyes and on her lips. âMy skills are not limited by venue, youâll find.â
âExcellent!â Jefferson crows. âYou know, this is exactly what the Circus should be. More than expected. Anything but mundane. Up close and pressing past anything seen before and - oh! Itâs just perfect. Welcome to the Circus, Madame.â
Jeffersonâs words become a mantra as they move forward - to push boundaries, to seek people and things that are more than anyone would ever imagine.
It is what may become the making of the circus.
âââ
Looking back, once they come to know one another better, Killian will find it fitting that he meets Belle in a used book store.
Heâs taken to wandering these stores on his rare days off with a pair of notebooks in his jacket pocket - one for little bits of magical research, and the other for chronicling any ideas he might stumble across for the Circus. Over time, Killian has discovered that odd, unusual, and even historic tomes have a way of accumulating in used bookshops, overlooked and nearly lost to time. On shelves such as these, Killian has located alchemical treatises and books of magical theory and even a potions compendium that appeared to the untrained eye to be a simple accounting of folk remedies. In a way, he supposes thatâs right; it just overlooks the dash of magic thatâs an extra, if necessary ingredient. These old bookstores are a good source, too, of unusual and exotic attractions and obscure ideas for confections. Whenever Killian stumbles across something he hasnât seen before that he thinks will be of use, he records it carefully in the pertinent notebook, one tucked into each of his coat pockets, before purchasing the volume or returning it to its place on the so-often messy and cluttered shelves.Â
This particular day had been less than fruitful, though Killian would never call it wasted. Even if he doesnât manage to excavate any scrap of information, the whole environment is calming - something Killian sorely needs, more often than not. He walks back to his flat at a leisurely pace, just enjoying the crisp fall day, when he suddenly realizes -Â
One of his pockets is lighter than it ought to be.Â
Quickly, Killian doubles back to the bookshop. This isnât the first time this has happened - itâs all too easy to accidentally leave a little leather-bound notebook on a shelf in an environment full of other leather-bound books, and Killian does remember pulling out the notebook to record a particular line of a spell heâd remembered he had already recorded just as soon as his pencil had lifted off the page. A quick check of the notebook in his other pocket reveals that it is, indeed, his magic notes that are missing. Itâs a mild irritant, but nothing unusual for a man with a million other things on his mind.
What is more unusual, however, is to turn the corner only to see a young woman outside the shop, paging through what appears to be his own notes with a look of marked interest on her face.
Sheâs pretty, Killian notes, with prim brunette curls that frame her face below a beribboned, feathered hat and a petite frame that seems dwarfed by the yellow dress beneath a neat burgundy jacket. He only spares a moment to look, however, before he intervenes for the sake of his book. If sheâs half as clever as that intent crinkle in her brow suggests, it may be too late.
The young lady jerks her head to attention as Killian clears his throat, a becoming blush staining her cheeks. âI believe you have something of mine,â he comments, nodding towards the book in her hand.Â
âAh, yes.â She carefully closes the pages, handing the little notebook back to him. âYouâll be Mr. Jones, then?â Killian nods an affirmative as he takes the book back - not that it stops her string of thoughts. âI do promise that I was trying to bring it back, sir - I saw you leave it down that one aisle where the cat particularly likes to sleep - but you had already left and, I see now, most likely had turned a corner and, well, Iâve already been a little curious and I just couldnât resist flipping through the pages and ââ
âMiss, itâs fineâ he smiles. âIâm just relieved to have it back. That little notebook is indispensable to me.â
âI recognize some of the symbols in there,â his companion blurts out. Killian is discovering she has a tendency to do that while nervous. âAlchemical symbols, and astrological ones. Not the rest, but⊠well, those are all over the pages.â
âAnd what would you know about alchemical and astrological symbols? Seems an unusual hobby for a proper young lady, MissâŠâ
âBelle French. I read a lot of books.â
âBooks on alchemy and astrology?â
âYes.â She blushes again. âI came into possession of a deck of tarot cards a few years ago. It seemed worth doing my research. The alchemical bits were an accident that expanded into a separate research project.â
âYou read the tarot then? I wouldnât have expected that of a dignified lady like yourself.â
âOnly for myself,â she admits. âItâs not precisely something you can practice at the average tea party. I find myself more curious what a proper young man like yourself,â she mocks his own tone, âis doing with a notebook full of such symbols.â
âPerhaps I, too, accidentally conducted extensive research into alchemy.â
Miss French fixes him with a skeptical look. âI donât believe that for a moment. Whatâs the real reason?â
Killian sighs. âThatâs⊠rather a longer story. Best settled somewhere else, if it must be told. Would you care to join me at a bistro I know?â
That should be the end of the matter. No proper young woman would agree to such a thing.
But Miss Belle French seems to be no such proper young woman, and she says yes.
It takes a hearty sip of wine once theyâre settled in Killianâs favorite Parisian-style bistro for him to muster the words to speak. âI am⊠a student. Of sorts.â
âA student of what?â Miss French asks around her own, more delicate sip.
Now is the moment of truth, where she believes him or she doesnât. âOf magic.â
Miss Frenchâs brow furrows for just a confusion. âMagic? Like the illusion acts you see at the theaters?â
âA little more than that,â he tries to explain. âItâs⊠well. When you read your cards, does it feel like some rote interpretation? Or like youâre channeling something, the mere conduit for the cards?â
âThe latter, I suppose.â
âThatâs a form of magic. A very special one, actually, one that not everyone can find. I canât.â
âSo your⊠magic isnât like that then?â
âItâs more like⊠a secret language,â Killian tries to explain. âItâs something I can find deep within me, and speak into existence.â
His lovely companion still looks unconvinced - not that he can blame her. Itâs a lot to wrap oneâs head around. âYou donât believe me.â
âI donât disbelieve you,â sheâs careful to say. âBut you must admit, Mr. Jones, that itâs an awful lot to take in.â
Killian thinks for a moment, before settling in his mind on a way to prove it. âIs there anywhere youâve ever wanted to go? Someplace youâve never seen, but always wanted to?â
âIâve always wanted to visit the beach, and see the ocean,â she replies wistfully.
âI can make that happen.â
âWith your magic, I suppose?â
âYes. Do you trust me?â
Miss French hesitates for just a moment before nodding.Â
âThen take my hands, and close your eyes.â
With her soft hands in his own, Killian draws upon the words, murmuring them into the back corner of the cafe where they sit. Slowly, the dim lighting and faint smell of smoke dissipates, replaced by warm sunlight and the faint rush of the tide coming in.
Miss French opens her eyes without his asking, gasping as she takes in the illusion of an environment heâs created. Gulls circle overhead; were she to remove her shoes, sheâd feel soft sand beneath her toes, stretching as far as the eye can see.
âItâs marvelous,â she breathes. âAnd you did all this?â
âAye. And I can do much more.â
Itâs evident that in this moment, at least, she doesnât care about much more; sheâs too enthralled with the ocean in front of her.Â
âYou know, Mr. Jones, I think we were meant to meet today,â she murmurs. âAnd I donât even need the cards to say it.â
She becomes a friend, over time, over cups of tea and discussions of his studies and her practice with her tarot cards; the first real friend heâs ever had. Mr. Gold doesnât approve, claiming that sheâs a distraction, but Killian doesnât much care. She makes his life better, in those hours he isnât called away by the circus. And as the planning rolls on, turning into reality, she lends a listening ear every step of the way.Â
Neither of them can predict how much will change with the hiring of the illusionist.
âââ
Itâs been years of this - the constant preparing for something she doesnât fully understand, of being tested, being pushed to what Emma believes are her very limits before discovering that she still has more to give, to bleed, to learn. A sense of anticipation hangs over her entire life, such as it is, and she doesnât even know what sheâs waiting for, or how long it will take to get here. Regina has told her time and again to be patient, that things will become clearer in time, that this isnât something frivolous, you foolish girl, you canât rush it, but Emma has never been one for patience. She is 24, and it has been 18 years, and there is still no sign of whatever this competition is, or will be.
Until one day, a neat envelope appears on the dressing table in Emmaâs room in the ostentatious flat she has shared with Regina since the very beginning whenever theyâre in London.
It would be in your best interest to present yourself at the below address on June the 19th.
The missive isnât signed, but Emma doesnât need a signature anyways; itâs evident in the neat gilt letters on the crisp cream-colored parchment that this message is from the man with the cane. Mr. Gold, half a memory whispers, though heâs done his very best to remove himself from memory. There is no postmark, and no messenger; it is clear to Emma that this card has appeared without the intervention of a human hand. Not that the man she suspects would need such mundane means to deliver a message. Emma has grown up surrounded by and steeped in magic, and she has long since learned to recognize true power - and even though she was only a child the single time she met the man with the gold-tipped cane, sheâd felt even then the magic clustered all around him like metal filings to a magnet. To a man like that, delivery of this message would be the easiest thing in the world.Â
Thereâs a newspaper clipping too, Emma realizes as she slowly moves to find and show her teacher. Itâs an advertisement, seeking an illusionist, with the address of a modest theater at which she should apply.
Seeking an extraordinary individual to marvel and amaze, the cramped newsprint proclaims. An unmatched opportunity to become part of an unprecedented entertainment spectacle.
âWhat have you got there?â Regina asks when Emma enters their parlor, examining every inch of the message and its attached advertisement. The words are closer to a demand than an inquiry, but Emma isnât particularly surprised; these kinds of interactions have always been her teacherâs modus operandi.Â
âA note. I found it on my dressing table.â Carefully, Emma passes the documents to Regina for the other womanâs examination. As Regina reads the words, a devious kind of smile inches its way across her face.Â
âYou know what this means, donât you?â she asks Emma with that same odd smile. It only widens when Emma shakes her head in the negative. âIt means weâve reached the beginning.â
And with those six words, the next phase of Emmaâs life begins.
âââ
Killian thought he knew what to expect - but he never expected her.
Theyâd placed advertisements in all the major papers, seeking an illusionist for the circus - a magician. Jefferson, for all his endless inspiration and imagination, has never realized that the most fitting candidate for this particular job has been silently at his side for the past two years, through every bit of planning. Jefferson never realizes that thereâs a reason that this has all come together unnaturally smoothly, as if aided by unseen forces.
Jefferson, for all his endless imagination, will never believe that humans are capable of anything more than illusion, will never believe that true magic is possible.
(Thatâs for the best, really; Mr. Gold just needs a pawn to create a venue, and Killian⊠well, Killian just wants, nay, needs to limit the collateral lives disrupted for the purposes of this competition.)
Attending the auditions as Jeffersonâs personal secretary to record any decisions ultimately made, Killian expects a long parade of conmen, of charlatans and fakers and all the normal cast of characters that pass for magicians in a world that refuses to see the truth. And he gets them in spades, with card tricks and pretty assistants and poorly behaved rabbits who are more interested in exploring the legs of the mezzanine chairs than disappearing into hats. Maybe those kinds of displays would be good enough for most undertakings; the public will be expecting the normal sort of âmagicâ displays, after all.Â
But this is for the circus - and the circus must be more than that.Â
(Itâs for exactly that reason that Killian draws a tricky bit of magic about himself that he picked up from his mentor years ago - a charm to smother any traces of magic about him, to make him seem so ordinary that strangersâ eyes donât bother to linger. He may expect a long line of fakes, but on the off chance this attracts someone of more genuine talent⊠Killian isnât taking any chances.)
Killian never even sees her coming. Itâs their last appointment of the day after a chain of disappointments, and frankly, heâs ready for a cup of tea, or perhaps a glass of something stronger. But then the young man who works at the theater is clearing his throat to announce the next applicant, and Killian looks up â
And itâs her.Â
The woman before him is beautiful - collected, quiet, but with a confidence that shows in her bearing, in the straightness of her spine and the sure look on her face. She wears an emerald green dress with a black velvet jacket with trailing sleeves, and she looks a picture - possibly the most beautiful thing heâs ever seen. She looks more suited to fashionable tea rooms, or strolling along the street to perhaps visit an acquaintance, or any of those other ordinary things women of means and unnatural beauty do with their days. Itâs obvious, though, that ordinary is the last word that could be used to describe her. Even from across the room, he can sense the magic that clings to her skin like traces of ink - true magic, not the facsimiles heâs suffered through all day.Â
He knows immediately that this woman - whoever she may be - is the opponent heâs been anticipating for 18 years, since he was only 8 years old, and the knowledge simultaneously exhilarates and terrifies him.
(Even if heâs been working for two years to help bring this competition, this circus to life, it suddenly feels real to see his competitor across from him, flesh and blood and blond curls.)
(He has no business forming an attachment, but she already fascinates him on a level far more personal than professional.)
âYour name?â Killian hears Jefferson ask, as if from a distance. Thatâs not the reality of this situation, really; his employer sits in the seat right in front of Killianâs own, barely two feet apart. Itâs hard to focus on anything else, though, with an angel standing in front of them all.Â
âEmma Swan,â she answers. Her voice isnât loud, but itâs sure, and with its own particular melody. âI understand youâre looking for an illusionist.â
âWe are indeed, Miss Swan. And do you believe youâre the man - my pardon, woman for the job?â Jefferson wears what Killian has learned is his most charming smile, and Killian feels an unwarranted flash of irritation. Canât he see this creature isnât for him? Isnât some simpering young girl to melt at his attentions?
(Itâs a relief to see that, while Miss Swan does smile back, itâs only a smirk of seeming amusement. Sheâs here for other things, they both know, even if Jefferson doesnât.)
âThatâs for your judgement, isnât it?â As Emma poses the question, she carefully strips out of her jacket, only to toss it carelessly towards a chair. As the fabric sails through the air, however, it miraculously turns into a raven, circling the room before landing back in one of the investorsâ laps, abruptly a stack of folded velvet once more. Miss Swan may make it look easy, nearly thoughtless, but itâs evident to Killian that sheâs performed a very impressive piece of magic - and evident to all those less observant as well. The amused little smirk returns as Miss Swan calmly folds her hands atop the green satin of her dress. âBut I believe so, yes.â
What follows is exactly the impressive spectacle of magic theyâd hoped to find, but Killian never believed they would.
The gentlemenâs handkerchiefs turn into doves, which fly to perch at the edge of the stage. The delicate flowers of the wallpaper peel from the walls to beautiful, fragrant life. At one point, their chairs all lift to hover a foot above the ground. One trick flows into the next, and into the next again, all conducted by the extraordinary Miss Swan with graceful hands and barely any appearance of effort. It feels like the entire audience, small though it might be, holds its breath as the magician completes her display, conjuring her crisply folded jacket back into a raven. In a flurry of feathers, the bird dives towards its mistress as the audience watches anxiously, only to reappear as a drapery once again on the pale, delicate arms of the enchanting Miss Swan.Â
Ahead of Killian, Jefferson and the other producers explode into a flurry of applause - a well earned ovation, in his not-so-humble opinion. That was⊠spectacular. Amazing. Magical.
âBravo, Miss Swan!â Jefferson calls, jumping nimbly up the stairs at the front of the stage to shake her hand. âI think youâre just the thing weâve been looking for. Wonât she look lovely, Constance?â
âSheâll make a statement, certainly,â Madame Blue replies. This might be the closest Killian has seen the formidable woman to satisfaction. âWeâll have to plan the wardrobe carefully, of course. Something⊠striking. A bit out of the ordinary, with outer layers to remove. That trick with the jacket was extraordinary,â she finally addresses the subject of their discussion. âI imagine youâll want to incorporate it.â
âI had planned to in some form, yes,â Miss Swan confirms. âIs there a particular⊠concern you have about my clothing?â
âPlease donât mistake us, Miss Swan,â Jefferson hurries to assure her. âYou look absolutely lovely. Weâre trying to create an entire atmosphere in this endeavor, you see. An entire circus, all in black and white and silver. Including its members. Madame Blue, here, is an invaluable help in creating that.â
âI see,â Miss Swan nods. âSo I suppose youâre thinking something more like this?âÂ
As she speaks, theyâre treated to one final trick, as the green of her skirts flees at the touch of a finger, changing to pearly skirts that slowly give way to an ink black hem. As with every display of her magic, itâs graceful, effortless; more than that, as her dress completes its transformation, skirts widening to a dramatic sweep in the process, she looks like the very essence of everything they want the circus to be.Â
Killian gapes. Madame Blue nods approvingly. Jefferson beams.
âSplendid! Oh, absolutely marvelous. Never tell me how you do that. Yes, that will do very nicely indeed, Miss Swan. Youâre hired.â
As if anyone else would ever do.
âââ
Killian shows up at Liamâs door that night, to the small but comfortable apartment a junior banker shouldnât yet be able to afford on his salary.
(Heâs always been sure to care for his brother, the same way his brother always cared for him.)
He must look a wreck when Liam opens the door, as his brother moves to pour them both a measure of rum without even being asked. His neat necktie has been loosened in the past hour and his hair is doubtless a riot from running his hand up the back, but Killian thinks itâs more whatever look he wears on his face that spurs Liam into action.
âI met them today. Her,â Killian finally confides once theyâre both settled into the plush, if hideous armchairs in front of the fire.
âWhoâs this, now?â
âMy competitor.â Killian attempts a chuckle, but canât quite manage it. âThis game Iâve been prepared for for so long⊠the other person was always just some amorphous concept. Of course thereâd be a competitor, itâs a game. But⊠I met her today, Liam.â
Liam takes another sip from his tumbler. âI take it thatâs a bad thing?â
Killian fiddles with the scar on his thumb as he thinks, the seared band of skin the contract tying him to this competition. It doesnât bother him, never has, really; most days, he wears a silver ring to conceal the mark from the many curious eyes in Jeffersonâs winding townhome, but heâs taken the piece of jewelry off tonight. Tonight is a night for confession, for laying his myriad of confused feelings on the table, not for concealment.Â
âI donât know that itâs bad, per se,â he finally replies. âItâs just⊠she was never a person until today. I know Iâve been working with Jefferson and his colleagues for two years to bring the venue for this competition to life, but meeting a real, live person is something else. It made it real, in a way.â
âAnd youâd rather it wasnât,â Liam infers.
Killian says nothing, ready to neither confirm nor deny that. Itâs been an unexpected day, and heâs still trying to process the novelty of having a name and a face. This has been years of his life - 18 years of them - and it finally feels like the waiting is done.Â
Liam tries again. âWhatâs she like, then?â
âComposed.â Itâs too stiff a word for the vibrant creature he witnessed today, but itâs the first that comes to mind. Sheâd seemed perfectly composed, fully in control of everything around her. Thereâs more than that, though. âShe was confident, mostly, in that kind of understated way where you could tell she knew exactly what she was doing without ever having to brag about it. She seemed bloody brilliant, honestly,â Killian admits.
âThat sounds like an awful lot of admiration for a woman youâre supposed to view as your foe,â Liam comments with that lift of the brow Killian adopted himself years and years ago.Â
âSheâs beautiful,â Killian says simply. âSheâs perfectly lovely, and honestly? I donât really want to battle her.â
âSo what will you do?â
âI donât know,â Killian replies truthfully.
He never expected this knowledge to create more questions than answers.
(Killian is beginning to think that just may be the way of this competition; frustration and confusion at every turn.)
(As his mentor has so often says: magic comes with a price.)
âââ
Now that he knows his competition, it becomes obvious that Miss Swan has an advantage over Killian: while he may exist outside the Circus, maneuvering the board from afar, sheâll live right in the heart of it, manipulating things from within. After all these years, Killian still only knows that the Circus is meant to be a venue for him to test and stretch his abilities beyond anything he ever imagined until, inexplicably, one of them is crowned the winner. From his standpoint, Miss Swan will find that much easier, as she doesnât have a distance to reckon with. Hell, he wonât even know when she makes a move, so to speak.
Unexpectedly, it is Belle who finds a solution to that.Â
âI could be your spy, you know,â she proposes. Theyâve long since abandoned formal last names and proper tea shops for lounging in his flat, her with a book and he with one of his notebooks or some circus plans heâs perfecting. So, too, has Belle long since been apprised of all the misty particulars of this competition.
Killian frowns. âI donât follow.â
âWell, you need a way to hear the news of the circus, right? Everything this Miss Swan does, at least in regards to the Circus. All the little changes she might make.â
âThatâs right.â
âAnd itâs true, too, that the Circus still needs a fortune teller.â
Realization slowly dawns. âBelle, I couldnât ask you to ââ
âYouâre not asking; Iâm offering,â she interrupts. âI can read my cards for visitors. Youâll be so busy with the Circus, anyways, and making your own moves in this competition, that weâll barely see each other anymore. You can arrange that, right? To hire me as the fortune teller?â
âOf course - but Belle, are you certain?â
âNothing is ever certain, Killian,â she scolds affectionately, good-naturedly. âBut I want to help. And besides, Iâve always wanted to see the world. What better opportunity will I find, or make?â
When Killian personally vouches for Belle to Jefferson, her hiring is arranged as quickly as promised. He canât help but feel like this is a mistake, somehow, but the benefits are undeniable. Belle packs her bags and promises to be a faithful correspondent - a promise he knows sheâll admirably fulfill.
(He tries not to think about how sheâs one more life heâs tied to the Circus, one more article of collateral damage if and when this all ends.)
âââ
After so long in her contained world, constantly under Reginaâs critical eye, Emma finds she loves the communal atmosphere of the circus. Emmaâs little compartment is so much more compact than the rooms sheâs grown used to over the years, but thereâs a particular coziness that feels more comfortable than anything sheâs known before. Maybe itâs the knowledge that this space is truly hers, without monitoring or judgement. She lines the walls with spell books and herbal manuals and silly novels, hangs cages for her doves from the ceiling, shoves a small desk in one corner and a well padded armchair in the other, and spreads a brightly pieced quilt over the bunkâs mattress. She makes it home, in a way sheâd never thought sheâd achieve.Â
(Sheâs wanted a home since she was a child, went with Regina in partial hope that sheâd find one, but itâs only now at the age of 24 that sheâs made it with her own two hands and a good bit of magic.)
She watches the circus come together too, in staging grounds just outside of London. Each tent is carefully constructed in black and white stripes, though their height and circumference vary. The acrobatsâ tents soar the highest, starting to fade into the starry skies to accommodate the trapezes and tightropes beneath the cloth surface. On the other end of the spectrum the fortune tellerâs tent is barely large enough for two people and a table.Â
Emmaâs tent is somewhere in between. Itâs not large, by any means, but thereâs enough space for a clearing at the center and two rows of chairs circling all the way around the edges. Itâs interactive, in a way Emma never imagined a theater could be when she was a child under Reginaâs care. Then again, itâs not really a theater, is it? Itâs more a⊠space. An arena. Truthfully, Emma isnât sure thereâs a word for the intimate feel of this arrangement. Her audience will be right there, enhancing the display in a way Emma hadnât imagined. Then again, when youâre practicing true magic instead of illusion, you donât need that extra separation.Â
Once itâs time to eventually move on, the whole venue has been carefully constructed to fold and stow away into a series of boxcars and containers for transport. Itâs all a little unbelievable, really, the ease with which something so sprawling can stow so neatly away. Thereâs an atmosphere at the circus, however, even amongst its members, that anything might happen, and the logistics are never questioned as the specially hired crew of workers scurry about, practicing folding and unfolding each tent into their respective boxcars. Maybe they already know that something supernatural is at work; the longer Emma spends at the circus, the more she wonders if this is the one place on Earth where magic can exist in plain sight without question.
(Thereâs something about the traces of magic at the folds and joints of each structure that feels familiar in a way Emma canât quite put her finger on - like sheâs encountered it before. Itâs a rare trace of her competitor in an environment where she still doesnât know their identity.)
If the circus is the first real home Emmaâs ever found, then its members may be her first real family. Sheâs always felt⊠different, all too aware of how her abilities have set her apart from other people since she was a little girl. The wonderful thing that sheâs discovered is that everyone is a little odd at the circus, even without magic. There are contortionists and animal tamers and acrobats and all manner of other performers, all good people who donât fit within the bounds of conventional society. Even the vendors, the souvenir sellers and the concession dealers, are the kind of people more willing to believe in the unusual without question. Itâs a welcoming, accepting, happy environment that Emma revels in.
There are individuals that Emma makes particular friends with. Ruby, who, along with her husband Graham, works with wolves , is an absolute spitfire who keeps them all entertained with her wit and predictions for the circus. Mary Margaret, who performs tricks with a flock of trained birds, and her husband David, one of the stagehands, are as sweet a couple as Emmaâs ever seen and determined to spread that love to everyone else around them as well. It feels a little like theyâve adopted her as an adult child, set upon caring for her in any way they can, and Emma finds she kind of likes it.Â
(Thereâs the fortune teller, too - Belle, a kind and quiet woman that Emma is friendly with, if not close. Somehow, Emma gets the feeling that Belle knows more about this whole thing than anyone else, but canât put her finger on why. Sheâd know if the petite little brunette was her opponent, sheâs sure; surely sheâd sense her opponentâs own magic, the way she can always see the way her own gathers like dozens of little stray hairs about her person.)
Thereâs a feeling of comradery amongst the group of them, of family. Theyâre a stability that Emma craves in the midst of all this uncertainty, a support system even if she canât reveal the stakes sheâs facing. As simple a word as it is, theyâre friends, and thatâs a thing thatâs been sorely lacking Emmaâs entire life.Â
Mulan, however, is a different story. Itâs not that theyâre not friends - Emma would say that theyâre consistently friendly. Emma had immediately noticed the way magic had clung to the other woman in the same way that it does to herself. Here, Mulan may be a sword swallower, but sheâs undeniably a powerful magician too.Â
âThis isnât the first time that such a competition has been staged,â Mulan tells her over tea as her spoon stirs in sugar without apparent human hand, a thread of magic spooling and unspooling about the metal over and over again.
âSo how do I win, then?â If Mulan has been in her shoes before - and indeed, the other womanâs particular brand of magic suggests she trained under Emmaâs own mentor, Regina - then this could be a critical advantage for Emma.
But Mulan shakes her head. âThatâs something you have to discover in your own time. Iâm here merely as⊠an observer. Support, perhaps. But not to interfere.â
(Even as she says the words, Emma can see a sadness in Mulanâs eyes that sends a stab of foreboding through Emmaâs heart.)
Thereâs an entire universe of possibilities contained within the wrought iron gates, different ways this all could play out. Emma feels within her heart that even if the circus hasnât opened, the competition has already begun; after all, sheâs already tied her own magic to its construction, the way it expands and contracts and travels, lending her own abilities to those enchantments someone else already set.Â
There will be a chance to test that tomorrow, as all of this is folded up and moved to where the circus will celebrate its opening night in barely 72 hoursâ time. Itâs a delicate business, but will be worth it when the effect is finally unveiled - or at least Emma hopes it will be. Itâs hard to imagine anyone not loving the circus, in all its wonder, just as much as they do, but dozens of lives are tied to the circus - now dozens of homes and salaries and futures. Itâs hard not to feel a little nervous about all that is to come, for their sakes if not her own.Â
Above the ticketing booths at the front gates of the circus sits an enormous cuckoo clock, with figures and designs constantly shifting, changing from black to white and back again. Emma likes to come and watch the clock in the moments she takes for herself; thereâs something about the simple, elegant mechanics that calms her, shows her the beauty that can exist without magic. Her entire world will change once again once the circus opens its gates for the first time, but the clock is a reminder that change is more than inevitable - it is natural, and sometimes even good.Â
As the clock ticks the minutes away overhead, Emma closes her eyes and centers herself. All around her, she can feel the energies of all the people who bring the circus to life - happy and excited and good, in a way she hadnât known existed. All these lives in her hands, caught up in this competition without even knowing it.
And Emma will do her damndest to protect every one.
âââ
Thereâs a party, the night before the circus opens its gates for the first time, at the lavish townhouse of the circusâ proprietor. Itâs perfectly in keeping with what Emma knows of the man; Jefferson - as he insists on being called, damn the proprieties - is generous by nature, despite (or perhaps because of) his eccentricities. Where anyone else would balk at the collected mass of the Circusâ players and crew showing up on their doorstep and traipsing through their halls, Jefferson welcomes them with open arms, seeming to delight in the chaos they might bring with them.Â
At the Circus, they might be clad in black and white and every shade in between, but Jeffersonâs halls are a riot of color tonight - and not just due to his bold decorating preferences. The circus members have truly let loose for the occasion, in a wide array of colors and patterns - green stripes and purple layered on blue and polka-dotted waistcoats, all melding together into a unique symphony of hues never seen before or since. Emma herself wears a red gown that makes her feel like a princess, with long sleeves and a scooped neckline and beading along the bust. Technically, the dress has looked far different when she started with it - a dark navy blue and rather more demure than this end result, though the cloth itself was of good quality - but sheâs always had a deft hand with fabrics. It comes in handy in her small train car room, where she really only has room for a single trunk unless she gets magically creative with her storage space.
The party is, by all appearances, a roaring success. Dinner features the widest variety of options imaginable, featuring dishes seemingly from every corner of the globe. There are fountains of chocolate and tiny little bites of meat and vegetables and the most delicate pastries Emma has ever eaten in her life. After dinner, thereâs music and dancing and gaming tables in the parlor. The hired band keeps playing a series of merry dance numbers, reels and jigs and the occasional waltz. Itâs joyful, happiness permeating every inch of Jeffersonâs brightly colored mansion that makes the whole place shine in a way that has nothing to do with any candles or oil lamps.
Personally, Emma is happier along the edges of rooms, observing everything else that goes on around her. Itâs not that sheâs somehow opposed to the festivities; far from it, at fact. She easily allows herself to be talked into taking turns on the dance floor with David and Ruby even a delighted Jefferson when they ask her with a smile and, in Rubyâs case, a rather insistent and intoxicated tug towards the dance floor. She knows the steps; she knows the rules. But it is hard, sometimes, after a childhood spent largely alone, to throw herself willingly into the heart of it all. Itâs intimidating, in a way. At the heart of things, itâs less overwhelming to observe, a wallflower by choice.
From her own vantage point, however, itâs impossible not to notice another soul doing the same thing - sticking to the walls and to the shadows, absorbing everything while engaging with none of it. The person in question is a man - strikingly handsome, with dark hair and sharp cheekbones that make him look a little dangerous. Heâs the kind of man who should have no problem finding a dance partner, if he so desired, but he waits along the edges, the same as her. Whatâs even more curious is that Emma has no idea who he is. Emma isnât fool enough to claim that sheâs intimate friends with each and every person in the Circus - thereâs far too many for that - but she does recognize them by sight, at least. Itâs an inevitable result of living and working with people in such a tight-knit environment as the Circus. This man isnât one of them. Curiously, she still has the feeling that heâs familiar, somehow. She canât quite put a finger on why; itâs like a whisper in her ear, that she knows him in a way she doesnât yet understand.Â
(She sees him looking, too, when he thinks she hasnât noticed. Maybe he feels this curious deja vu as well.)
At one point, she notices Mulan speaking briefly with the mystery man - nothing more than a few words, but enough to catch her attention.
âWho is that?â Emma asks the next time Mulan passes her by, dressed in regalia that looks more like armor than a dress. It suits her, in a way something more traditional wouldnât have. âThat man in the corner?â
âBy that particularly ugly bronze bust?â Emma nods. âThatâs Jeffersonâs personal secretary. Killian Jones. Iâm surprised you havenât met him before - he follows Jefferson everywhere, records everything. Jefferson wonât on his own.â
Maybe thatâs where Emma recognizes him from; it would make sense that heâd have been at her audition, just another face in the crowd. That must account for this odd sense of familiarity.
Mulan waits patiently as Emma turns the information over in her head, as if waiting for her to ask another question. For the life of her, she canât imagine what that might be.
âI didnât know that,â she finally replies. âThank you.â
âOf course,â Mulan nods. âTry and have a little fun tonight. Itâs not like weâll have another chance for this for a long while.â
âI promise I am. Even without the dancing.â
âGood.â
(Thereâs a little tickle at the back of her neck that says Mulan isnât sharing the whole story, but Emma doesnât pry further. The other woman plays her cards very close to her proverbial vest; she wonât reveal anything except exactly what she deems it necessary for Emma to know.)
As Mulan slides silently back into the crush, Emma steals another glance at the corner, but the man - Killian Jones - is gone.
Not that it matters to her. After all, theyâll likely never meet again.
(It is easy to ignore the little voice that whispers Oh, but you will.)
âââÂ
The circus opens on a warm June night under a new moon, and it feels like anything might happen. The tents are all set, the costumes sewn, the performers placed along each neatly lined path. All thatâs missing is the audience.Â
At the very center of the circus is an ornately crafted fire pit, with shoots of burnished metal curling towards the sky in imitation of the flame contained within. Over time, the heat of the fire will heat and scar the metal in its own unique way, creating an ever changing statue. Tonight, in recognition of the circusâ opening night, the bonfire will be lit for the first time at precisely midnight in a ceremony for all to see.Â
Tucked into the grate beneath the fire pit, carefully warded against the flame with a series of runes, is a leather-bound book that no one but Killian knows about. The volume is the circus, in a way that heâs proud to have accomplished. Between the covers are pages and pages of plans for each and every tent, ride, and attraction, with magic carved into every line. This is the way that the circus is brought to life - the way itâs assembled and disassembled, the way it operates, the way it exists. At the back is a list of everyone employed by the circus, from Mrs. Lucas who runs the dining car of the train to the day-old twins of one of their vendors, a craftsman and his wife who sell intricate animals carved out of wood so delicately and with such life that they look as if they might begin to cavort across your palm. Each name is accompanied by a single drop of their blood - something so simple, but powerful. It binds them to the circus, protects them; itâs a safeguard, in case something should ever happen.
(Killian hates to think that there might be collateral damage in all this, but it seems inevitable. Mr. Gold and Madame Mills arenât the types to worry about the chaos they create, as long as they get what they want. This will protect the circus and all the many lives that depend upon it.)
Most significantly, Killian creates a tricky little bit of magic to link the volume under the bonfire, right in the heart of the circus, to another in his own possession. Itâs still unclear, in so many ways, exactly what this so-called competition will entail, let alone how long it will last. It seems inevitable that in order for the competition to move forward, additions and changes will need to be made, ways to demonstrate each of their respective powers. A second volume, directly mirroring the first, will allow him to add attractions as the opportunity arises.Â
Killian feels somehow in-between as he wanders the grounds of the circus - not one of the performers, but not quite a normal visitor ever. Heâs done more to bring this to life than anyone present knows, but it doesnât feel like a part of him in a way he might have expected. He strolls the paths, cloaked in spells that turn everyoneâs attention away from his person so he can place the tome without questioning. Thatâs fitting, he thinks; heâs not part of the circus in any visual way, now or previously, yet heâs made more of a mark than theyâll ever know. Heâs shaped this entire spectacle from the shadows, and his work is only beginning.Â
It feels like something settles into place as Killian slides the book into its nook. Itâs like the whole circus was just waiting for that final piece, as if a breath has been released and this can all finally begin. Something cements in that moment; some piece of ancient magic more powerful than any rune. All thatâs left to do is activate that magic with the lighting of the bonfire.
(There are already firecrackers in place to set off with each tick of the clock leading to midnight, but Killian can sense the traces of someone elseâs magic lingering on each charge. It seems Miss Swan has left her mark on the fire in her own way, one that will make this a night to remember for all involved. Their work has long since begun, but they both usher in a new phase with their own mark.)
Killian stays to watch the lighting of the bonfire, still cloaked in the shadows even amongst the crowds of life around him. At a few minutes to midnight, they all assemble around the pit - every performer, every visitor, every vendor. Each and every soul. Itâs easy to pick out the audience from the circus members; true to their vision, those who are part of the circus are clad in black and white and silver, alternately blending into the night and reflecting like the brightest stars. They stand stark against everyone else and the usual medley of colors, like elegant wraiths.Â
Killian spots, too, Jefferson across the way, and the Frost sisters, and Madame Blue and Mr. Booth, all here to mark the occasion. Theyâve participated in the dress code as well, Killian is amused to see - Jefferson in a white suit decked with tiny black stars, and the ladies in varying shades of white and silver and grey. Mr. Boothâs black suit may just be his usual wear, but the silver necktie adds a certain celebratory vibe. Killianâs lips twitch in a smile to see their little group, looking with varying levels of satisfaction (or outright bouncing glee, in Jeffersonâs case) on the experience they dreamed and brought to life. Itâs not necessary, really, that Killian disguise himself anymore; as Jeffersonâs personal secretary, it would seem natural for him to be here to witness this. Killian has ulterior motives for maintaining the cloak, however - namely, watching his opponent, the lovely Miss Swan.Â
Heâs a little enthralled by her, heâll admit. Miss Emma Swan is⊠not what he expected in a competitor. If pressed, Killian will admit that he expected his opposing counterpart to be someone rather like himself - some young man around his age, similarly focused, similarly discreet. Miss Swan - besides being, most obviously, a young woman instead of a young man - wields her magic with an open confidence that he hadnât expected, at least if her audition and the few times theyâve crossed paths since on circus business are any indication. Then again, itâs not like thereâs as much need to hide her magic as Killian always believed; to the public, magic isnât real after all, and sheâs just a circus illusionist.Â
(Sheâs a born performer, is what she is, and Killian looks forward to surreptitiously attending one of her shows tonight to relive the particular thrill of watching Miss Swan in action.)
(As much as Killian tells himself theyâre different, thereâs something in her eyes that says thatâs not quite true - the look of someone whoâs been left alone for too long. Maybe they are cut from the same cloth, after all. Not that it matters in situations such as these.)
Ten seconds before midnight, the firecrackers begin setting off in bright bursts of color and pattern, causing an audible gasp of awe from the assembled audience. There are swirls of blue, shoots of red, bursts of gold, all perfectly timed to the second hand of his watch. Itâs the purest expression of magic made real, and even though Killian knows to watch for the way Miss Swanâs fingers twist at her side to release each round, it still leaves him in a little bit of awe and wonder. Itâs displays like these that first enthralled him to the idea of magic, all those years ago when he was still just a boy; itâs nice to reclaim that even just for a moment.Â
At the crescendo, a previously unnoticed archer - a trick-shot theyâd hired, who can hit the smallest targets from the greatest distance - releases a single flaming arrow. It lands dead center in the bonfire pit, just above where Killian alone knows the volume containing the circus rests, and ignites it in a chasing line of flame. It roars to beautiful life, illuminating the beautiful joy and wonder on each and every face.Â
And just like that - the circus is alive.
âââ
The circus is a wonder, unmatched by any other.
Thereâs something otherworldly about it, you think as you take in the sights. Thereâs a stark elegance and mysticism about the venue and all its players that feels unnatural, in the best way - as if youâve stumbled out of the real world and into a fairy court, where the very air is laced with magic and anything might happen.Â
Each tent is somehow better than the last, and you wander without real purpose between each, trusting fate and your heart to lead the way. Even the winding paths, paved in silvery grey pebbles, hold their own surprises, twisting and curving past all manner of performers on pedestals in the night air. There are contortionists in silver and jugglers with patterned balls and clubs, fire swallowers and concession vendors who smile at you and living statues who move so gradually as to be barely discernible to the naked eye.
It is more than an attraction, you realize as the first rays of light peak over the horizon, illuminating the intricate metalwork of the front gate clock; itâs an experience, a wonder, something that sinks into your very soul and changes you in ways youâre not yet equipped to describe.
The circus lingers in your mind and heart, and you will never be the same again.