#maggotpoolartisms

short notes about my redesigns and a few other things:

an ocean will contain life

the death of life

ruptures of pitch darkness, from which creatures surface

am i one of those?

myself entangled in that dark

or would i be above all of it

encased in warm sand and light,

pure?

is light Holy like i have heard?

who has proclaimed this is the way my soul lives

when i moreso feel as though i am strained between these two?

i am on the sea, on a vessel

a vessel of my own making; is this considered blasphemy?

if i am a sinner, and i will always be, how should i be undone by being blasphemous?

how can i possibly drown if

i can see all the way down;

where the forgotten and hopeless have and will be

but i also see behind me;

the Light and the uplifted ones who should be Holy

some who are not supposed to be in either place

and maybe i have seen others on their own vessels before me, taken by themselves and others and both and none

and maybe i realize the point has never been the Holiness like they have preached and stabbed into me

ripping out Light and darkness within me, both, unknowing of it

but the point is that i can see the love everywhere

in the Light, in the dark, in the between, in the nothing that is not there

it is peace. it is delight.

and it is the ocean.

rahhhhhhhhhhh🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅