#mafiakitashinsuke

That’s what your mother had always taught you. Ever since you were a young girl being homeschooled in the heavily guarded house of your parents, she had repeated the sentiment that since you’d been born a girl, you were doomed to fail.

Not only were you doomed to fail, since you were a girl, your father was also doomed to fail.

“If only…” She would sigh as she watched you pour over your school books, “if only heaven had blessed us with a son….”

If you had been a boy instead, perhaps your father would’ve been the one to succeed the previous head of the group, who was childless himself.

But since you were a girl, not a true heir, your father was turned down and the title of leader was handed over to another member, a member who was able to produce a true heir.

Many would call the group's unwillingness to follow a female leader ancient, primitive even, the idea that they rejected the leadership of a woman proved them to be more of a cult than an organization.

Still, no matter how many times you told yourself that it didn’t matter that you would never come into power or that you didn’t ruin your family's chances, the feeling that your parents would always blame you and the feeling of never being enough constantly swarmed your head and drilled through your chest.

After 18 years of that constant pain caused by a cult-like “family” filled with nothing but dirty money and heartless crime, you were able to escape.

You moved halfway across the country to attend college, pursuing a career as an educator, and now you were working a steady job, with a steady income, getting ready to buy yourself a house and build yourself a future, far away from the terroristic reign that the new leader currently held over nearly the entire underground.

Every time you thought about how your life would've gone if you’d stayed, you find yourself incredibly grateful for the second chance you’d given yourself. You knew the current leader, in fact, you’d grown up with him, and you knew that if you would have stayed, you’d be dead by now, if not by his hand… then by your own.

Growing up, Shinsuke was a quiet kid. Much like yourself, he preferred sitting and listening to your mother read the two of you a book over sitting in on some important meeting alongside your fathers.

He was kind and polite so you never minded the fact that you had to share your mother’s lessons with him. In fact, you were pleased with the company. Because, while he was there, your mother would keep most of her comments to herself. When Shin was there, she would opt for the occasional “if only my daughter was like you Shinsuke” or “how blessed your father is to have a strong son like you” but she would rarely say the things to you that she’d said before.

And when she did, Shinsuke would always be there to wipe your quiet tears away and hold your hand.

Shinsuke was good, and when you were younger you could remember thinking that if the day came, and you were asked to marry him, you’d be content to do so… happy even.

And then the two of you turned 16 and somehow, everything changed.

You remember the night before he’d left for an important “business” trip with his father. The two of you had been sitting out on the balcony attached to your room. You were a bit chilly due to the early June breeze and the two of you were closer than usual, so close that he could smell your lavender-scented shampoo, so close that you swore you could see tiny flecks of gold in his eyes.

“Shin….” you’d mumbled, your head resting comfortably on his shoulder as the two of you watched the stars, “....it’s gonna be lonely without you.”

If it wasn’t dark, you’d have been able to see the darkening of Skinsuke’s cheeks as he glanced down at your face, his eyes trying to detect any hint that you were merely saying this to make him feel less anxious about his departure.

If you were, it was working. The idea that you’d miss him as much as he would miss you made his chest feel fuzzy.

“Don’t worry….” he said, his hand finding yours, the warmth of his palm reminding you of all the times he’d comforted you like this as young children. “I’ll come back in 5 months.”

“You’ll be 17 be then won’t you?” you asked, a small frown overtaking your features as you realized, “you won’t be here for your birthday.”

Ever since Skinsuke’s mother had died, he had spent nearly every birthday with you and your parents. Every year you would bake him a cake and your mother would fix you all a nice dinner before he would sit with you in the living room and open gifts. If you weren’t there for his birthday, who would get him his birthday cake? Who would force him to make a wish with the cheap sparkly blue candles you insisted were best? Who would get him the gifts he unknowingly stared at in magazines or in shop windows?

“We can celebrate when I come back.”

Your frown deepened at Shin’s response. You looked up only to find him looking up at the sky, unable to make out the expression from his dimly lit profile, you felt disgruntled that he looked so neutral about it.

In fact, for the last week, Shinsuke had practically refused to talk about his upcoming trip. Every time you told him that you would miss him, you wanted him to say it back, to assure you that you wouldn’t be the only one lonely without the other there, but every time he would just tell you “it’s only five months”.

“I suppose,” you said with a sigh, letting your head fall back down onto his shoulder. It wasn’t worth the risk of starting a fight. You and Shinsuke didn’t fight often, especially when you considered just how much time you spent in each other's company, but lately, he’d been a lot more abrasive, whether that was due to his upcoming trip or simply that he was getting closer and closer to having to become the head of the organization, was unknown.

You wanted to ask Shinsuke if he would miss you, if he’d think of you when he was lonely overseas, submerged in a world that neither of you really wanted to be a part of, but you were too afraid of his answer, too afraid that despite everything the two of you had been through together, he would tell you that he didn’t care for you as you did for him…..

So you kept quiet.

Eventually, Shinsuke and his father left. And five months turned into six months…. Which turned into seven. A year later, Shinsuke still wasn’t back.

In the time that Shinsuke was gone, your mother's old comments had returned. It was as if the new head family’s trip had reminded her that it could’ve been her and your father if only you were a man.

Except this time, when your mother would glare at you as you fixed your family dinner or as you continued to work towards your college entrance exams, Shinsuke wasn’t there to calm you down.

Where his hand used to find yours under the table, your hand was left shaking in frustration as your mother berated you and your father did nothing to stop it, only staring at the scene in stony silence that only made it painfully clear that he thought the exact same thing as his wife.

With each month Shin was away you’d find it harder and harder to remember his face or his smile and while at the beginning of his trip, he called you frequently, it slowly died out to where you hadn’t heard from him in almost 3 months.

You were exhausted and lonely. And you often wondered if Shin felt the same.

You remembered exactly what you were doing the day that he finally came home. You were sitting in your room, staring down at your desk your laptop, the screen glowing with your half-completed college application.

Over the past few months, you’d come to lose hope that Shin would come back. And even if he did, who says he’d be the same Shinsuke you knew? Your mother’s whole plan had been for you to marry him, to become the matriarch of the organization, to support him from the background but as his calls diminished, so did the likelihood of that ever happening.

So there you were, filling out as many applications you could get your hands on for colleges that you deemed a safe distance away from home. You needed a way out, a way to build your own fate, your future with Shinsuke would’ve been beautiful, but at the end of the day, it lacked substance…. It was a childish dream that you held, that he obviously didn’t agree with.

You heard your father's car pulling into the driveway.

You glanced at the time…. it was hours before he was supposed to be home.

You quickly stood and walked over to the window in your room that overlooked the driveway, watching as your father exited the car, followed by his passengers.

Your eyes widened.

Shinsuke had grown.

Of course, he had, it’d been nearly two years since you’d last seen him! But still….. you barely recognized the boy that followed his father up the front steps into your house.

You hurried downstairs, walking into the kitchen to find the men talking with your mother, they turned to look at you.

It felt like it’d been years since you had smiled. Your face felt weird as the grin came over your features, without a second thought you rushed Shinsuke with your arms open, ready to feel the comfort of his hug for the first time in over a year.

But as you wrapped your arms around him, that warm feeling never came. Shinsuke was frozen in your hold, stiff and borderline uncomfortable as he didn’t return the gesture.

“Shin?”

“Sorry…….…I’m tired…..”

You stepped back, doing your best to maintain the smile on your face. Of course, he was tired, he needed rest…… but still.

“Sorry” you apologized, offering his father a small ‘welcome back’ before your mother asked if you were done with your schoolwork, dismissing you and practically kicking you back up the stairs towards your room.

So there you stood in your room, in shock at what had just happened.

You couldn’t believe it… Shinsuke wouldn’t even meet your eyes. And that was the first time he’d ever rejected your hug.

Over the next month, things somehow got worse. Nothing got worse with your family, your mother was still your mother and that was that. But you had quickly realized that Shinsuke was far from the same as he was when he left.

You still didn’t know how he liked the trip, or if he’d had a good time. You’d barely gotten a full sentence out of him in the last two weeks. Whenever you were out around town with him, he’d seem distracted. And as soon as the two of you would see other young men from the organization on the street, Shin would leave you for them, abandoning you to escort yourself home, even if it was dark.

And day by day, abandonment after abandonment, you’d decided that you’d had enough. You were completely torn apart by Shin’s behavior. When you looked at him, you didn’t recognize him. And that childish dream that you’d been clutching onto, was gone.

So you got into college and you moved out.

You chose a day that your parents would be out of the house, and a friend of yours, that you’d met touring the college you were going to, would be able to help you pack your stuff up into your car and leave.

The day came and you and your friend packed everything up and you said a brief goodbye to your childhood home. You felt no desire to write a letter explaining yourself, you’d held a deep disdain for your family for a long time now, and you didn’t want to give them any sort of closure. They didn’t deserve it.

The last time that you’d seen Shinsuke was that day. You’d taken your friend to a little diner in town to have lunch before the two of you hit the road and when you walked in the door, you caught sight of Shin with a group of his friends, other boys from the organization.

You and your friend walked past their booth, not bothering to say hello as you avoided Shin’s eyes. The two of you had your lunch, paid, and were going to leave when you felt a hand grip your wrist.

You looked down at the men at Shinsuke’s table, the one who’d stopped you’s eyes were looking up at you skeptically.

“Does your father know what you’re doing?” He asked, nodding his head towards your packed car in the parking lot. It was obvious that you were going somewhere with the way that all of your belongings were stuffed into the small car.

You nodded.

He squinted at you.

“Really……..Kita?” the two of you turned towards Shin, who was sitting in the booth, sipping his water.

“….Are any of us really allowed to leave?” he asked, although the tone of his voice suggested that he didn’t expect an answer.

And with that, the boy that had stopped you stood from his seat at the booth.

Everyone at the table knew Shinsuke was right. No one left…. or at least no one ever had.

“Kita’s right. You should go home.”

You swallowed thickly, the fear of being trapped there forever making your head feel light as you felt blood rush to your cheeks.

You contemplated what to do. There were six guys here, way too many for your friend and you to escape from. You couldn’t muscle your way out of this situation, and even if you did, it would be less than a minute before one of them called your father with the situation anyways.

You sighed, your bottom lip wobbling as you looked up at the guy with tears welling in your eyes.

“Okay….” you whispered, your gaze falling to the floor.

“Okay?......”

You looked back up to see the surprise on his face. He obviously didn’t expect you to give up that easily.

“You’re right.” you continued, stepping away from him.

“.....okay… just go back home okay?”

You nodded, grabbing your friend's hand as you turned to flee. As you went to leave though, another boy spoke up, talking to Kita.

You stopped.

“Kita… should one of us take her home?” He asked.

Your back was to Shinsuke, but even though you couldn’t see him, you could feel him shrug.

You glanced back at him, taking in his face one last time as he continued to stare down at his food, his expression bored.

You wanted him to look up, to see your eyes full of the hatred that you’d acquired for him over the last couple of months, all of the disappointment and the hurt of losing your best friend. You wanted him to feel just a fraction of what you did.

When he finally met your gaze, just briefly, you watched as his expression remained cold.

“Ehh,” he shrugged, “not worth it.”

And with those three words, the last frayed, nearly shredded string that tied your heart to Shinsuke, broke. The dream of having him in your life, a dream that had already been beaten and drained of color, shattered as his eyes left yours.

Without another word, they let you go. You and your friend went back to your car and left. You made sure to drive towards your house, as to try and play damage control in case the group of boys had watched you drive away.

As you turned the corner away from the diner, you let out a breath you hadn't known you’d been holding and let the tension melt away from you as you and your friend laughed in relief.

You drove out of town the long way and left that day, and you never went back.

You went to college and became a teacher halfway across the country away from home. No one had come to find you yet so you assumed that no one really cared that much that you’d left.

Perhaps they’d all seen it coming. But you didn’t care.

You used a different name than what you were born with, but that hadn’t stopped you from building a new life with new connections. Your friends didn’t mind that you never talked about your old home or anything before your college days, and your colleagues didn’t pry for the names of your parents or stories of your childhood.

You were the happiest you’d ever been. If the younger you could only see you now…. Would she even believe it if she did?

*******

It was a rainy day…. That was pretty much the only thing the two men could agree on. They had sat down two hours ago to talk business only to wind up in a frigid standstill.

It was only when one man’s wife had called him and asked him to pick their child up from school that the men had broken out of the icy standoff.

While the slightly older man insisted they reschedule their meeting due to the unexpected family situation, the younger insisted that a break from work and a breath of fresh air might do well for the negotiation.

This, of course, was simply a poorly veiled excuse to see where he could find the latter’s child, a means of intimidation no doubt. After all, this was no average business deal with no average man. This was a deal with the most dangerous man in the country, no less than this dirty tactic was expected.

So the men departed for the son’s school, sitting silently in the back of the car after agreeing briefly on the unfortunate weather.

The younger man glanced out the window, his eyes flickering with distaste as he watched the surroundings of the city, much smaller than his own, go past. He didn’t want to be here, but this man had something that he wanted, connections that he couldn’t pass up. So here he was, scowling as the sound of yelling children faded into earshot.

“Miss Hana….”

“Yes?”

“What color is my shirt?”

“Green, Darling.”

“Oh……….. Miss Hana?”

“Yes?”

“What color is your shirt?”

“White, Darling.”

“Miss Hana?”

“...........”

“Miss Hana?”

“........yes?” you sighed, looking across the carpet at the little boy.

You wondered where his mother was. She was always here by now, in fact, you considered her one of your most punctual parents. She was always on time, if not early, and always treated you with kindness, bringing you pastries from the bakery down the street every Friday and occasionally surprising you with fresh fruit she and her son would prepare the night before. She was an angel, and so was her son (despite the frustrating amount of questions he asked).

That’s why you were concerned as you looked at the time. It had been almost twenty minutes since the child before him had left, and you hadn’t received any word from either of the boy’s parents saying they’d be late.

“Has my mommy called you yet?”

You frowned down at the child, patting their head as they looked up at you. Obviously, they weren’t dumb. They knew that this wasn’t normal and they were probably beginning to get scared seeing as everyone else in their class had left.

You thought about asking the teacher next door if they had any kids left, just to see how far along the rest of the classes were with getting students home, but as you stood, the sight of a sleek black car pulling into the school lot through the window caught your attention. You watched as the back door opened and out stepped the child’s father, a man you’d only met on a few occasions and always accompanied by his wife.

“Look!” You gasped, “look who’s here to pick you up!”

You smiled as the boy’s hands glued themselves to the window as he squished his face against it in excitement after catching sight of his father.

“Let’s get your stuff gathered so you’ll be ready when he comes in.”

The boy giggled as he rushed towards his cubby, pulling out his jacket and a piece of paper he’d colored on earlier.

As he gathered his belongings, you watched his father turn towards someone else in the car.

“What do you say we go out to meet him?” you asked your student, who was currency bouncing with excitement as they wiggled into their coat.

After they happily agreed, the two of you left the classroom.

The younger man nodded as the father insisted he’d make it quick before leaving to go retrieve his son. He watched, mostly out of boredom as he approached the front doors. But before the older man could go inside, the doors flung open and a child launched himself at the man.

The younger man watched as the pair greeted each other, the corners of his mouth threatening to turn downwards at the looks on their faces. But before he could look away from the scene, his eyes caught a figure behind the two.

His eyes widened.

It couldn’t be……..

Not here……not in some beat-up little city…. Not in some preppy primary school.

It couldn't be you.

If it was, it wasn’t how he remembered you.

The woman standing on the steps of the school, talking animatedly with his business prospect was much different than the girl he remembered. He tried to crane his neck to get a better view, but before he knew it the woman had turned back into the school and left.

The man and his son got back into the car and suddenly, on the drive home, the younger man seemed much more open to polite conversation.

“Do you like school?” He asked the young boy.

“Mhmm!”

“Do you like your teachers?”

“Teachers? I only have one teacher.”

The boy’s father was surprised at the sudden change in attitude but determined it harmless as the young man conversed with his son.

“Oh?”

“Miss Hana is my only teacher.”

“Is she the only teacher at that school for that age range?” the man asked, the question now directed at the father.

“Oh no, it's quite a big school, but she’s definitely the newest. She recently came to us, straight out of college.”

The younger man nodded. Not wanting to appear too interested, he decided to drop the subject.

The next day, everything was back to normal. All of your students had been picked up at their usual times by their usual people and you had the classroom cleaned and ready to be bid adieu to by the usual time.

But, as you were closing the blinds to the windows of your classroom, a car pulled into the school lot.

It was far too late for another parent to be showing up, you thought. All of the students and even most of the teachers were gone for the day. And the black luxury car DEFINITELY didn’t belong to any of the school’s janitors.

You curiously watched the car park, not being able to stop the odd feeling of dread in your stomach.

A man exited the car.

You gasped.

You ducked, hiding beneath the window as you barely escaped. The blinds were entirely closed now, but that did nothing to ease the feeling of fear in your chest.

How did he find you? You didn’t even know they were looking for you. It had been years….why now?

You tried to calm yourself. Who knows if it was even him. You barely saw the man’s face, you could’ve easily been mistaken……right?

You slowly stood, your legs feeling weak as your stomach turned. You peeked through the blinds. The man was now leaning against his car, obviously in no hurry….. Obviously waiting on something…. someone.

Your eyes scanned his face. Was it him? It looked like him….. his light-dyed hair was slightly shorter than he used to wear it, and his eyes seemed somehow duller than they were the day you’d left, but the similarities were just too many to ignore.

Yes, he looked different, obviously older, obviously stronger, but it was his expression that gave it away. The same guarded expression he’d had that day, the day that he had said you “weren’t worth it”, the day that he’d finally crushed the remnants of your friendship.

Your hands shook as you considered what to do. You were the last person there, the only other cars in the lot besides your own belonged to the previously mentioned janitors.

What did he want from you?

You peered out of the blinds as he casually waited, his eyes scanning the empty schoolyard.

There’s no way he was here for anything good.

There’s no way he was here to make amends, no way that he was a changed man…no… not with the way his face still held that expression… the way that his jaw was set as he watched the front doors of the school, just waiting for you to march to your death.

What should you do? If you confront him there’s no way in hell it would go well. And you were far too scared of what he would do if you asked one of the janitors to escort you out. This was your problem, it would be cruel and stupid of you to drag your co-workers into it. For that same reason, you also couldn’t call any of your friends to bail you out. You were certain that he was still just as, if not more, dangerous now than his father had been years ago. You couldn’t risk anyone close to you getting hurt.

You contemplated calling the police. But what would they do? You had no evidence of stalking or harassment. What would you tell them? That one of the countries most wanted thugs was standing outside of your place of work, an elementary school?

If you acted as if you didn’t recognize him would he believe he got the wrong person? Surely you looked much different than you did back then, you’d definitely matured since leaving home, and you no longer looked like the scared little girl that he knew.

Before you knew it, twenty minutes or so had passed. Luckily, the parking lot was far enough away from the school that he couldn't see your eyes peering through the blinds at him as he continued to wait, acting as if he had all of the patience in the world.

You anxiously bit your tongue as you watched him abandon his place by his car, walking through the parking lot. You watched in fear as he approached your car, it was new, not the same one you’d driven to get away from your past…. surely he wouldn’t pry any further than looking through the windows right?

You tried to think back, was anything in sight that listed your birth name? Were there any bills in the passenger side seat? You prayed there wasn’t, not only would he know it was you, he’d find your new address…. If that happened it was definitely game over.

You watched him peer through the window, letting out a small sigh of relief as he straightened back up, not appearing to have found anything of interest.

You looked down at your watch.

There was only about an hour left before the janitors left, which meant there was even less time before one of them came in and found you hiding in your classroom.

If that happened, you knew that they’d insist on walking you out, and you knew that would greatly increase the chances of people getting hurt.

You decided that it definitely wasn’t the best plan, but to pretend that you didn’t know who he was, to pretend that you were just another teacher trying to get home, was your best bet.

So you steeled yourself as you gathered your belongings and went to walk out of the school’s doors.

Shinsuke sighed, glancing down at his watch as he rolled his head against his shoulder’s trying to relieve the tension he’d found building up in his neck for the past 24 hours.

What was taking you so long? It had been nearly two hours since class had ended, he had given you this long to do all of your after-hour duties, but at this point, it felt like you were stalling. Had you seen him in the parking lot? Were you avoiding him? Or had you already left?

No. He had been watching the school for the past three hours, he saw every man, woman, and child that had left the building and none of them had been his childhood best friend runaway.

‘Still,’ he thought, you could’ve gotten a ride with a colleague, could’ve carpooled and slipped away from his attention. Or perhaps could've been picked up by a friend…. or a partner.

Shinsuke’s eye twitched. It was something about the thought of you having a lover that made him irrational. Perhaps it was the idea that you had actually made it out, the idea that you were able to escape a reality he was trapped in enough to have a life…. to have a lover.

Or perhaps it was the memory of the two of you as children, promising that one day when you were older, you would get married, insisting that you were meant for each other and only each other.

Of course, that had been before you’d run away before you left him to tell your parents that he’d seen you go….. Left him with the guilt of pushing you away.

He had been a fool. That much he knew now, his age allowing him to recognize that it was all his fault. That if he would’ve just stayed with you…. if he would’ve just held you… you never would’ve left him.

But, even though he’d long past realized his mistakes he couldn't help feel resentment towards you. He knew it was his fault, but it was also your fault. Because in the end, you left him.

His eyes snapped up at the sound of doors opening, but when he looked up he found the doors to the school still closed. He looked around, once again leaving his post at his car to look around.

Someone was exiting the school, apparently, there was a set of doors on the side of the school, no doubt for faculty and staff.

It was you. There was no doubt in his mind. It had to be you, this feeling in his stomach couldn’t come from anyone else.

“Excuse me!” he called.

Your head turned towards the man. It was Shinsuke, no doubt about it. If his face and the way he held himself as he walked towards you wasn’t enough, his voice surely was.

You offered a look of friendly surprise, praying your acting skills would be enough to fool him.

“Hello, sir!” you offered a polite smile before continuing your walk, trying your best to keep your footsteps even.

As Shinsuke approached you, you could see just how much he’d changed. The scowl he’d adopted when he returned home was apparently permanent as he intercepted your path, all but forcing you to stop and speak to him.

“Do you know if Miss Hana has left yet?” He asked.

The way that you answered this question would confirm you were just who he thought you were. Although he was pretty much certain now, seeing you up close.

If Shinsuke had thought you were beautiful before, you were stunning now.

While you’d always been on the plumper side growing up, with maturity, you had grown into your curves graciously. The softness of your figure that Shinsuke had guiltily admired as a teenager had only increased, making him nearly groan at the sight of you.

You were simply breathtaking, and as he looked down at you, Shinsuke found himself once again regretting pushing you away.

But when your eyes finally met his, and he saw the look of complete neutrality in your eyes, slight shock prevented him from stepping any closer.

“Oh are you a parent of someone in Miss Hana’s class?” you asked.

You were incredibly impressed with yourself. You stood firm under Shinsuke’s disbelieving gaze, and if you weren’t so scared you might have found yourself enjoying the look of shock on his face.

“No….” he mumbled, his eyes trailing across your face. Did you really not recognize him?

“Oh… then you must be the new janitorial member? Shall I go get the head janitor?” you offered, your smile unwavering but your cheeks warming as his gaze traveled down your body.

Did you not recognize him? Or were you truly not who he thought you were?

No…. you had to be.

“Janitorial staff?…”

As he said it, both of your eyes turned down to look at his attire, the crisp black suit looking completely out of place at the quaint school, especially for a janitor.

“Right…” you said, trying to keep your anxiety from finally bleeding into your words, panicking as you felt your confidence slipping away.

The silence that fell over the two of you was deafening. Shinsuke had always been seemingly immune to these long, awkward pauses in conversation, but you? It was insufferable to you.

The sound of the breeze blowing through the leaves of the trees in the playground brought nothing but more unease as you tried to hold out from speaking, desperately clutching to the nerve to continue with the act.

You could almost swear that it was working, the look of doubt was becoming slightly more apparent on Shinsuke’s face with each passing second.

You might just make it out of this.

“Sir?” Shinsuke’s eyes went back to your face, once again, the look of polite unfamiliarity in your eyes threw him off. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

He didn’t answer, he only brought his hand up to his face, rubbing at his jaw in thought as his hand rested on his hip, his body still blocking the way to your car.

You let the silence go on for another couple of seconds.

“If you’d like I can give you the number to our principal, or even-”

“This isn’t funny.”

Your heart dropped.

You prayed that your face remained smiling as the fear in the pit of your stomach grew.

“Sir…” you mentally winced as you heard your voice wobble, of course, whose voice wouldn’t shake in this situation? Anyone with a brain would be terrified out of their mind right now.

“Do you think I’m an idiot?…” Shinsuke still wasn’t looking in your eyes, his sight trained on the way your hands were shaking at your side, just like they’d done when the two of you were younger …. when you were still trapped in that place.

“I don’t-”

“Drop the fucking act.”

Your eyes closed as you flinched at his harsh tone. Was this it? You couldn’t carry on this act. You knew from the start of this that if Shinsuke caught onto the lie that you were done for.

So what now? Do you just give up? If you ran would you be able to escape him? Would he let you leave a second time?

You tried to calm your breathing, your chest squeezing as one of the panic attacks you hadn’t had in years threatened to raise its ugly head.

When Shinsuke finally met your eyes again, it was confirmed. It was you.

It could be no one else with the amount of emotion that your eyes finally exposed.

Despite the anger, he was feeling towards your feeble attempt to slip out of his grasp again, the edges of his mouth twitched up.

Your stomach twisted as Shin smiled, the expression lacking any sign of genuine happiness. All you could see in his eyes was sick relief that he had the upper hand now.

“Get out of my way,” you whispered, clenching your teeth as you felt the prick of tears beginning to gather in your eyes, years of repressed emotion trying to come back.

Shinsuke scoffed.

“You really think I’m an idiot don’t you?” his back straightened as he smirked at you, the victory of your acknowledgment clearly going straight to his head.

You scowled, watching him casually tuck his hands into the pockets of his suit pants, his posture relaxing as if he’d already won.

“Leave me alone.”

You stared at his smug face, your own grim expression amusing him even more.

“Fine.”

Shinsuke moved out of the way, stepping to the side.

You had to suppress the shock that zapped through your body. You knew it was too good to be true. He didn’t come here simply to see you again, this was no happy reunion. Still…. You could get in your car… you could drive until he didn’t follow you anymore like you knew he would try.

How much gas was in your tank? How far could you get?

Without another word, you walked past him.

He caught your wrist.

You weren’t even surprised.

Your face turned up towards his, watching as slight anger leaked into his expression. You didn’t even bat an eye.

“Really?” he asked as if he expected you to not even try.

You just glared back at him.

“I’ve just found you, do you really think I’ll ever let you leave again?”

...... To Be Continued....

IMPORTANT::::::

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and as always....

Shinsuke moved out of the way, stepping to the side.

You had to suppress the shock that zapped through your body. You knew it was too good to be true. He didn’t come here simply to see you again, this was no happy reunion. Still…. You could get in your car… you could drive until he didn’t follow you anymore like you knew he would try.

How much gas was in your tank? How far could you get?

Without another word, you walked past him. He caught your wrist. You weren’t even surprised.

Your face turned up towards his, watching as slight anger leaked into his expression. You didn’t even bat an eye.

“Really?” he asked as if he expected you to not even try escaping him.

You just glared back at him.

“I’ve just found you, do you really think I’ll ever let you leave again?”

“Leave now Kita,” you said lowly, his surname unfamiliar on your tongue, even after all of this time, the visceral reaction you had to his name left your heart rate rising and your hands shaking in anger.

Shinsuke chuckled. You couldn’t even bring yourself to call him by his first name?

By doing that, were you trying to distance who he was from who he is? Was Shinsuke really that different from Kita?

He opened his mouth to taunt you, but the words died in his throat as he saw your eyes. A chill ran through him as you stared at him.

Of course you wouldn’t be happy to see him. Not with how he’d let things turn out. But the hatred and disgust burning in your eyes were enough to let him know that there was not a fiber of your being that wanted him here.

It was different than it used to be. You didn’t look at Shinsuke anymore, you looked through him. And if you did look at him, you didn’t see him for your best friend, or your first love. You saw him as everyone else did, as a monster.

“Come on now-” He began to move towards you again.

You took a sharp step back.

He stopped.

“Leave now Kita.” You repeated, your hands clenched at your sides, “leave now or I will spend the rest of my life hating you.”

Your hands were shaking.

Something deep within him tried to speak up. Something deep within him wanted nothing more than to take your hands in his, to rub his thumbs over your knuckles like he did when you were kids like he did back when you swore you’d love him forever.

He tried to reach out.

You flinched.

‘Huh’ Shinsuke mused, ‘what would your mother think of you now?’ he thought of the woman, your parents had raised you from day one to become his wife, training you to stand beside him. What would they think if they saw you here? If they heard the disdain in your voice? The thought was enough to make him smile.

He stepped towards you again.

You stepped back, but this time he showed no signs of stopping.

“As if you won’t already.”

****************************************************************

This is how Shinsuke preferred you.

Fuck your job, this was how you should spend your days, gagged and bound to a chair in his hotel room with a pretty blue vibrator strapped against your dripping cunt while he watched you from his bed.

He spread his thighs further as he watched you squirm, still glaring at him with hatred intense enough to make his stomach tighten and his cock impossibly harder.

You’d been like this for almost 20 minutes now, refusing to give Shinsuke the satisfaction of seeing you cum, despite the burning in your stomach and numbness of your clit.

There was no way in hell you’d let the man you’d hated since 18 win. You’d rather choke on your own vomit than let him hear the moans trying to tear their way out of your throat.

Shinsuke had to admit that your ability to restrain yourself for this long was impressive, especially with the fact that every 5 minutes, he’d use the remote on his bedside to increase the power of the vibrations on your pussy.

Your timer went off…. Shinsuke grinned.

“Still not gonna let me hear you brat?”

You shook your head feverishly as you heard Shinsuke chuckle.

“I guess that means you need another level huh?”

You shook your head even harder, fear pooling in your stomach at the thought of the pain that would come with higher vibrations.

You were barely conscious as is, the vibrator that was secured tight around your hips had been stimulating you non-stop for the last 25 minutes. It was beyond pleasure at this point, and the only thing keeping you from begging for the pain to stop was the steely insistence that Shinsuke not get his way with you.

You could feel your resolve slipping though, it was just too much. You swore that if this continued you’d probably get permanent nerve damage.

“Alright.” He said, before his thumb pressed into the remote, the sound of the vibrator getting even louder as he adjusted the power level from 5 all of the way up to 8, skipping several levels out of impatience.

You weren’t able to hold back the shriek that tore through your chest as the toy against your clit picked up, making your legs begin to shake from their position on either side of the chair Shinsuke had tied you to.

You tried pressing your legs together, but once again, the ties cutting into the fat of your thighs prevented you from hiding the pathetic state of your cunt from Shinsuke.

Shinsuke groaned, the satisfaction of finally hearing your voice sent another wave of arousal straight to his cock as he palmed himself through his slacks.

He let his eyes drink in your figure, you were truly a work of art, the way that your sweaty baby hairs stuck to your temples as your clumped mascara tracked down your face, the way that the restraints he’d fastened dug into the fat of your tits and down across your waist, making you look like a present wrapped up just for him.

He grunted when his eyes finally made their way down to your pussy, drenched in your own arousal. He loved the way that your swollen pussy looked for him right now, the wetness that spread out across your inner thighs shining in the dim light of the room.

Shinsuke wondered just how many other men had gotten to see you like this, spread out, shivering as you bit back moan after moan.

It wasn’t that he was jealous…. He just needed a tally of how many innocent men he’d need to kill.

Of course, were they really that innocent if they’d had a taste of what was rightfully his?

Shinsuke should be the only man alive to see you like this. If a bit of blood needed to be spilled to maintain that, so be it.

You could feel yourself begin to slip out of consciousness, it was just too much.

Your slit was burning due to the friction of the toy, and despite the shameful amount of arousal you’d leaked onto the vibrating silicon, it still felt like sandpaper with how badly it was stinging.

You willed your head to move, to straighten from its rolled back position so that you could force Shinsuke to watch the light leave your eyes as you fainted, but all you could manage was to loll it to the side.

When your eyes landed on the man, you had to choke back a whine.

‘God it wasn’t fair’ you thought.

It wasn’t fair how good he looked sitting up against the bed frame, his strong thighs spread, his silver accented fingers gripping at the frighteningly large bulge in his pants.

All you could think about was how good it’d feel to have him against you. How good those rings on his fingers would feel inside you…..

It wasn’t fair………

Shinsuke laughed as you feinted, a laugh that quickly morphed into a deep groan of satisfaction as he watched your limp body jerk in orgasm, your hips jerking against the chair as he could see your stomach tense with each wave of pleasure, your back unwillingly arching towards him, showing off the beautiful skin of your bare chest.

He stood from the bed, shaking his head at your stubbornness.

“You’d rather faint than let me see your pretty face when you come?”

He roughly unfastened the vibrator from your hip, turning the toy off before throwing it into the corner of the room.

“That’s okay….” He cooed, leaning over your body to press his lips into the crook of your neck, bringing you back to reality with his hot tongue against your pulse. “........we’ll work up to that pretty girl….”

You froze…. Maybe if you played dead he’d leave you… or at least give you longer to think of a way out.

Shinsuke felt your pulse jump.

“Awake already darling?” He whispered against your neck, waiting for your body to resume its thrashing, waiting for you to fruitlessly try to push him away.

You didn’t move……

You felt Shinsuke move away from you….. did it really work?

You heard him scoff.

What was that sound? It sounded like………. no……

Your eyes snapped open and you screamed at the feeling of his belt coming down across the top of your tits, the expensive leather leaving your poor skin searing as your teeth dug deeper into his silk tie that he’d used to gag you.

“You stupid little slut.” He seethed, lacing his fingers through your hair to yank your head back, forcing you to look at him.

“How fucking dumb do you think I am? First playing dumb…..”

He yanked you up out of the chair, hoisting your body against his as your tied together feet nearly tripped and fell.

“.....acting like you didn’t fucking remember who I was…..”

He sat down in the chair you’d just been in, no doubt dirtying his expensive suit with your cum as he pulled you down on top of him.

“That hurt my feelings princess…..” he whispered in your ear, his grip tightening despite the soft lull to his voice.

The speed at which Shinsuke was able to go from cursing you out to crooning at you was absolutely dizzying, and not to mention terrifying. The way that his fingers rubbed against your soft hips as you sat on his lap was a stark comparison to the way he then lifted his hands to bring both palms down against the insides of your thighs.

Shinsuke groaned as your body jerked against him, practically salivating at the way your legs jiggled with the small shockwaves of his touch. Your figure was practically swallowing him, leaving nothing in his sight except for you as your chest and stomach heaved with each shaky breath you took.

“Why don’t you make it up to me, pretty girl?” he asked.

You squeaked in protest against the gag as his right hand came up to your throat, the cold metal of his jewelry pressing into your neck, hard enough to leave ring shaped bruises as he cut off your air supply.

You jerked against him, making him chuckle as your protests turned into sobs.

‘How long?’ he wondered, how long until he finally had you begging?

“It's okay….” he shushed, his hand tightening until you froze in his grasp.

“See……”

The burning in your lungs slightly subsided as his grip loosened, allowing you to take in several large gulps of air.

“I’m a reasonable man…… I just need you to behave for me, yeah?”

Your eyes got wide as Shinsuke’s finger tugged down the gag.

Your cheeks burned in humiliation as you felt Shinsuke’s fingers smear the drool that had accumulated down your chin across your face, smirking as the clear liquid mixed with the melted mascara on your cheeks.

Your voice was hoarse from the crying and your tongue felt heavy, even still, you glared up at Shinsuke and answered him.

“Go to hell…..”

Shinsuke sighed, wiping away the glob of spit on his face…… you really believed that that was the best thing to do in your position?......spit on him?

“I finally let you speak…. finally take away your muzzle… and this is what you do?”

This time, there’s no cloth to soften the sound of your cry as Shinsuke once again hoists you up by your hair, turning you around before pulling your body back down, folding you over his lap.

“Is this what you wanted, you little bitch?” He seethed, before bringing his palm down against your asscheek.

“Stop!” your hands that were still tied behind your back came up to protect yourself from him, only to be held in place against your lower back by his other hand as he prepared to land another harsh slap.

The sound filled the room, followed by another groan from Shinsuke as he massaged the area, your abused skin hot against his fingers.

“Now that your gag is gone… why don’t you be a good girl and count for me….. Maybe then I’ll let you have a break…”

His hand came down.

“No!” you cried…..

His hand came down again.

“Stop it!”

And again.

“Come on brat….. all you need to do is count for me…..”

The next time his palm came down, you gave in.

“...-one….”

The sound was more of a sob than anything, but still it made Shinsuke’s cock twitch against your stomach.

‘Finally…’ he thought…. Finally you were ready to listen…

“...two….”

At five, something began to happen. As his palm came down against you, that familiar itch in your stomach showed up…..

Shinsuke smirked as he felt your hips grind down into his lap, the movement wasn’t huge, and if he hadn’t been paying attention to your body so closely, he probably would’ve missed it.

When you spoke the number that time, he could hear the shake in your voice, wobbling between just another sob and a moan.

“Such a good girl…..” he hummed, his palm flattening against your ass, pushing your hips into his lap for you.

You were unable to stop the whine that leaked from your lips… the sound only encouraged Shinsuke further.

“All you had to do was listen sweetheart…..”

Without warning, his hand pressed itself between your thighs, his middle finger gliding across your slit as he felt how embarrassingly wet you’d gotten.

“Shin!” you gasped, your back arching as the tip of his finger circled your clit.

Your mouth snapped shut as soon as you’d said it… you hoped that he hadn’t heard you, but the way that his hips jerked up into your pelvis confirmed that he had.

“Fuck….” he groaned, his body hunching over yours, panting against your skin as his forehead pressed into your nape.

“You’re fucking soaked…. And your pretty little mouth finally fucking admitted it….. you need me that bad princess?”

“No…” you moaned, your body betraying you as it jumped against his touch.

Shinsuke could feel his restraint slipping… the way you felt against him was just too tempting. He knew you’d feel even better wrapped around him, squirting on his cock as his hips slammed against your ass.

“Don’t worry…” he whispered, pulling you off of him to rest on your knees on the floor as he stood.

Shinsuke admired how you looked for a second, how, now that the gag was gone, your lips were swollen and slightly parted with each watery breath you took. Your pupils were blown wide and he could tell with the way you were squirming that you were close to finally breaking.

“I won’t fuck that fat little cunt until you beg me to.”

He untied your wrists, keeping them in an iron tight hold, and pulled you up, your legs shaking as he led you over to the bed.

“-But why don’t you give me a nice little preview.”

Before you knew it, Shinsuke was bringing your body against him as he sat back down against the headboard, pulling your back against his chest as he parted your legs over his, leaving you completely at his mercy with nowhere to hide.

“So soft…” he cooed against your neck, his fingers moving down to brush against your nipples, making your back arch into his touch.

You could feel the stiff imprint of Shinsuke against the cleft of your ass, twitching against you as he took your nipples into his fingers, rolling them between his index and his thumb until they peaked.

“Shit….” you sighed, your head whipping back against his chest as you looked for somewhere to hide from his blistering gaze.

Your insides were burning at Shinsuke’s touch, desperate for him to take you. You were unsure of how much longer you could hold out, especially with the way he was panting against your ear, the warmth of his breath tickling your neck.

Shinsuke hummed in satisfaction, his fingers abandoning your nipples to trail down your stomach, pulling a gasp from you as he pinched the doughy skin.

“That’s it……” he whispered against your skin, his hands moving down to the junction of your legs, kneading the tops of your thighs as he urged you to relax back into him.

“...Just want you to feel good…”

This was dangerous. You could feel yourself slipping, your brain getting foggier as desire began to take over.

You could barely remember why you avoided his touch in the first place ………. this was Shin that was holding you, he’d finally come for you….

……you’d waited so long for him to get back…..

This was how Shinsuke wanted to spend the res

t of his life…. you trembling against him as he spread your cunt open, his fingers nearly slipping with how slick you were.

Shinsuke couldn’t see his fingers as they disappeared into your cunt, slipping in without any hesitation as you bit your lip, still insisting that you hold your voice back from him, but he could feel you and fuck did you feel good.

Your walls were so warm…so soft… just like the rest of you. Shinsuke could die in this cunt, with the way that you were pressed against every square inch of his front, he knew that no woman could ever satisfy him like you could.

Your hands that had been clutching the bedsheets beside you, came up to grab at Shinsuke’s wrist, planning to stop him from pushing his fingers deeper, but as soon as your fingers wrapped around his forearm, you stopped.

Shinsuke felt you freeze against him as he pushed into your g-spot.

Suddenly, your hands wouldn’t listen to your request to stop Shinsuke, instead they stayed idle on his forearm as your legs snapped shut around his hand.

But the damage was already done, Shinsuke could feel your walls pulsing around his fingers.

“Kita….” you whined, looking up at him with teary eyes as he continued to abuse your cunt, his pace quickening despite the soft thighs wrapping around his arm.

He tsked, pulling your legs back apart so he could piston his fingers into you ever faster.

“You still won’t call me by my name?”

He could feel your walls tightening around his fingers, getting firmer as you neared your second orgasm of the night.

You were shaking even harder now, the wet sound of his fingers mixed with the slap of his palm against your clit filling the room.

“Are you gonna cum for me brat? Just from my fingers?” the hand holding your legs open abandoned its post to come up and slap your clit, pushing you even closer to the edge.

“You really are a little slut aren’t ya’? Getting this worked up over my fingers fucking you?”

You shook your head, digging your teeth further into your bottom lip, so hard Shinsuke was worried you’d make yourself bleed as your eyes screwed shut.

That wouldn’t do… he thought…. last time you fainted before he could watch your face twist in orgasm… you wouldn't deprive him of that this time…

“Fuck!” you squealed, your eyes springing back open when Shinsuke’s teeth dug into your neck, his tongue pressing into the skin as you felt him grin.

“Can’t have you falling asleep on me again pretty girl…. wanna see you cum for me…”

You felt your end rising, the familiar pressure building up behind your clit making you drop your head back onto Shinsuke’s shoulder in pleasure.

He turned your face towards his.

God…. you thought, your eyes scanning Shinsuke’s face…. When did he get so attractive? When had he grown up?

His jaw was so much stronger now… it finally matched his nose and his sharp cheekbones….and were those flecks of gold in his eyes?

Shinsuke was admiring you in return, watching your expression as you got closer and closer to climax.

Your face had filled out, your girlish features that he’d found mesmerizing as a boy had changed into ones that he found mesmerizing as a man, had your lips always looked this soft? And God you smelled heavenly.

And as you were staring at him, Shinsuke stared back at you.

“Shin…..’m gonna……-gonna…..”

“Come on pretty girl….” he encouraged, his free hand reaching down to tease your clit, drawing circles as he felt you tighten on his fingers.

“Fuck-.....Shinnnnnn-”

Shinsuke watched as your face twisted in pleasure, your eyes pushing shut as you gasped for air.

“Fuckkk….” he groaned, feeling your pussy start to contract around his fingers.

Your eyes sprang open again as you felt him suddenly pull out, removing his hands from your body, leaving you to experience the least satisfying high ever.

“Fuck- nononono- fuckkk!” you cried, your hands forming fists as you felt fresh tears streaming down your face.

You felt the last 45 minutes of frustration pouring out of your eyes as Shinsuke just shushed you, rubbing circles in your back as if he hadn’t just stolen away possibly the strongest orgasm of your life.

“No….it’s not fair…” you sobbed, turning around in his grasp.

Shinsuke was expecting backlash from you… but not like this. He expected you to get mad again, tell him that you hated him.

He wasn’t prepared for the look in your eyes as you sobbed, your fists resting against his chest. You were completely lust drunk…. your eyes were unfocused as fat tears dripped off of your lower lashes.

“Not fair……”

Your hips had a mind of their own, starting to grind down against Shinsuke, seeking another release to make up for the last one. You were gonna get this….. Shinsuke owed you it... after everything he’d done to you, the least he could do now, was make you cum.

“He-” Shinsuke started, his hands grabbing your waist, only to be completely shut down by the look on your face.

Fuck you were wet…. He could feel your cunt soaking through the cloth of his crotch as you rubbed against him like a bitch in heat, letting your moans fall freely from your lips as your nipples caught on the material of his button down.

“Shin….” you whined, staring up at him through your tears, “.....you're so mean…….”

Shinsuke could only groan as your cunt pressed against him harder. He didn’t know how he’d held out this long and the fact that he had was painful as your hand snaked beneath you to feel him up.

“....so mean…” you mumbled, unzipping his pants and pulling his cock out, your mouth almost watering at the sight of his cock.

Just like Shinsuke, his cock was beautiful…. so long… not too thick…. perfect for you.

You sat back up, moaning as you rubbed his tip against your swollen clit. You leaned down towards his face.

“.....I hate you Shinsuke…” You whispered, staring into his eyes as you finally sank down onto his cock.

“I know..-fuck..” he groaned, bucking his hips up into you, forcing you to take the last inch of him, all of the way to the hilt, his balls resting against your ass.

You whined at the stretch but other than that, gave Shinsuke no time to adjust before you began moving your hips again, bouncing on his cock, chasing your own pleasure with absolutely no regard for his.

You weren’t in a clear state of mind, it was like you’d been drugged. You barely heard him below you, his grunts and pants as he grabbed your hips, lifting you on and off of his cock.

“...you’re so tight….fuck you’re such a good girl….”

Your cunt pulsed at the praise. You threaded your fingers through Shinsuke’s hair, pulling his face into your chest.

You hoped that he’d asphyxiate.

His cock jerked inside of you, his mouth latching onto one of your nipples, licking and biting at it, making you cry out as you rode him.

Shinsuke could tell that you were getting tired on top of him, he guessed that your legs were probably burning by now with how hard you’d been fucking him, so he grabbed your hips and pushed you off of him.

You moaned as he hooked his hands behind your knees, pressing them to your chest before thrusting completely inside of you, the new angle making your vision go fuzzy.

Shinsuke watched as your eyes rolled back into your head as the new position allowed him to stretch you out even further than before, making you feel him in your throat as he picked up at the pace you’d left off at.

He knew that you were already close, with the way that he’d stopped your second orgasm it was only natural that your body was already on edge and he was glad that it was, because he was about to lose it with the way your cunt was sucking him back in with every thrust of his hips.

He stared down at you, absolutely pussy drunk as his eyes glued themselves to the way your tits looked all squished together with the way he had you folded up. This angle made your cunt even noisier, the squelch of him sliding in and out of your walls rang through his ears.

“You look so pretty like this….” he cooed, his fingers coming down to brush the stuck hair off of your forehead, “so pretty all stuffed full of my cock like this…”

“This is what you wanted huh? You wanted me to find you and stuff you full of my cum? Make you my sweet little brat?”

You shook your head.

Shinsuke scoffed before bringing a hand down across your chest, making you moan out in pain.

“If you hate me so much you little brat, why is your cunt squeezing the fucking life of out me right now, huh?”

“Shin….” you breathed, your chest heaving as you already felt your next high burning in your stomach. “....more…”

Shinsuke laughed.

“You want more, pretty girl? How about I fill your little cunt up? Make you have my kid?”

Despite the desperate shaking of your head, your walls clenched around him as you begged him not to finish inside.

“You like that idea princess? Fuck- you’ll be such a good mommy…..fuck ‘r you gonna cum for me? Gonna cum on this cock? Go ahead princess -cum for me….”

You cried out as you finally reached your high, shaking under Shinsuke as you felt him release into you, bottoming out before letting his cum paint your insides.

He laid there on top of you, his elbows propping himself up as he carefully slid out, leaving your hole twitching with the aftershocks of your orgasm as he leaned down to stare at the sight of his cum leaking out of you, pulling a whine from your chest as he lazily fingered it back into you

Once he determined his work sufficient, he left to retrieve a towel to clean you off.

You watched him leave, his blurry figure walking across the room.

Shinsuke came back to find you sleeping.

He whispered to you as he cleaned you off, telling you how good you did, how proud of you he was…. how happy he was that he finally had you back.

Shinsuke knew that this was just the start… that he’d have to spend every second of the rest of his life convincing you to stay, and while most would find that a pointless existence, a fruitless endeavor that would only hurt both of you…. It was all that Shinsuke had to grasp onto.

It was you. It would always be you.

… you were Shinsuke’s fate…

……and he was yours.

I apologize besties.........

what 'dya think??????

Special tags for besties <3<3<3