She never really liked warm blustery days. 

Cursing, she held her basket close, hoping the eggs didn’t crack. Lucas was trying to make an apple apricot pie, both for her and to win the affections of Tehi. After the even worse great flour incident of a few days ago, he was determined to get her to like him. 

She ran through the grocery list in her head. Lucas had been in the middle of making the crust when they realized that he had run out of eggs, milk, and the fruit needed. You know, the major part of a fruit pie.

She sighed, massaging her temples as the wind made her stumble. Malory couldn’t call the guards today, she caught the middle of their rotation. The market in the South End was...interesting, to say the least. There was more theft due to poverty, so Lucio’s bright idea was to tighten security in the area instead of helping the people starving.

Nadia just hadn’t...gotten around to them yet. 

The system was...fucked, putting it lightly. After the shitshow that was Lucio’s reign, there was much to fix up and work on. 

Her being chased out of the market every other day due to false theft accusations being one of them. After the disaster that was Doctor 069’s trial, she didn’t have much trust in the legal system. Knowing her luck she’d be executed by the Praetor over theft. The old arena was already stained enough, she didn’t know why they couldn’t tear the eyesore down.

She rubbed her arms, looking through the dairy products for sale. Being a...pet of the Quaestor gave her rights to go into the coliseum to see those under. Blinking, she waved thoughts of bloodied people and plague eyes. 

She didn’t want to go back there, see the hurt on those peoples faces. She was punished for helping them, so eventually she just...stopped.

The Quaestor was a...fascinating thing. She wondered how they could sleep at night for what they did. All and all they felt...otherworldly. 

She groaned softly, placing a few coin in the palm of the farmer. Crimson cows always had the best milk, but they were banned from the city. She hid the jug under the eggs and flowers she bought for Lucas. Crimson cows were much bigger than the regular cow, milk and meat always bloodied red. It baked well though, making everything richer so it was worth the illicit dealings. 

“Good afternoon, thief.” She stiffened at the voice, trying to fight her annoyance. Please, not today. “Come to steal my stocks again?”

“I didn’t steal and you know it.” Damn she fell for the trap, again. Her pride smarted at each theft comment. Eventually people would believe it, and then where would it leave her? She could barely keep herself afloat without even having to pay rent. 

“Now, the guards certainly don’t know that, do they?” 

“Oh fuck off. They aren’t here to protect you today.”

“Mmm, so you're going to steal from me again, aren’t you?”

She breathed in sharply. “I am going to buy some fruit, upfront, and then I am going to leave.”

“For that little bat of yours?”

She scowled. “She was just hungry, and I paid after.”

“Stealing is stealing.” “It wasn’t stealing if I bought it. Just...let me get my ingredients for a pie and I’ll leave.”

“Baking a pie? The last one wasn’t bad enough?” She flushed at the thought. She wasted a lot of good fruit that day, her fingertips stained purple for a week. “Come to waste my hard earned spoils?”

She slammed her basket on his counter with a sour look. “I’ll have you know Lucas is baking it this time. And it’ll be fine.”

Malory paled at the mention of Lucas’ name. “H-He’s not with you, is he?”

…was that a stutter?

“Why do you ask? You’re not scared are you?” she teased, picking through the apples. 

“Anyone with good sense is scared of the beast.”

She lifted an eyebrow, placing enough for the fruit by his hand. She started placing apples in the basket, keeping them away from the bluebells. Her hair was falling out of her handkerchief, again. The front of her dress was splattered with flour, and she did look like she was helping. 

Reality was that she was trying to keep Jolie from sleeping in the flour. 

And failing, miserably. 

“Oh yes, because he is so scary,” she said with an eye roll, thinking of him sulking over Tehi. 

Malory’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t mock me. Just because he has been...subdued, for now, does not mean he isn’t dangerous.”

“Lucas? Dangerous? The only danger he poses is to himself.” Clumsy oaf ran face first into her bookshelf and almost knocked himself out. 

Twice. 

Granted, she did have a lot of bookshelves. 

“An ex gladiator is just that, a gladiator.” Malory shuddered. “I heard he beat a man within an inch of his life before Lucio stopped the fight. He’s a ticking time bomb.”

She paused, blood roaring in her ears. “Glad...iator?” she asked softly, setting an apricot down. “Lucas?”

Malory paused. “You do know about it, don’t you? How could you not? You are his partner and this is something everyone knows.” He paused. “And paired with what surrounds you…” his lips curled in judgment, she bristled under his look. “Well, people talk.”

“What I know and don’t know is none of your business,” she sniffed, stuffing another apricot in her basket. “He doesn’t have to tell me anything he doesn’t please to. I trust him.”

“You...truly, don’t know?”

“Don’t know what?!” she snapped, her gaze low and cold. 

“About the beast?”

“‘The beast’ can you be any more vague?” Even with his...dancing around, the name rang a bell. She huffed, placing her hands on her hips. “If you’re picking a fight with Lucas, don’t. It’s me you hate.”

“I may...dislike you.” She snorted, yeah that was rich. “But I don’t want you dating a murderer.”

“Lucas is not a murderer.”

“Killing people for sport sounds like murder to me.”

“What are you even going on about?!”

“Your little...dog, has quite a past, doesn’t he?”

“Lucas. His name is Lucas. Why am I even still talking to you!” She threw her hands in the air. “I paid, I got what I needed, I’m going to leave.” She snatched her basket up and turned around. 

“He was the Scourge’s replacement. After the escape. Before Lucio’s death. He was the executioner for a while. Don’t you think that’s something you should know, Deathling?”

She flinched, turning around and hauled him over his counter by his shirt. “You don’t get to call me that,” she snarled, Malory letting out a small choked noise. “You never get to call me that.”

“T-Touchy subject,” he breathed, face pale. 

“I will give you a choice. Shut up about Lucas, or I throw you into a canal, got it?”

He let out a laugh as she let him go. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

She sneered. “And so what if I am?”

Malory’s eyes softened, but his smug grin didn’t. “Just letting you know what you’re getting into.”

“This is his secret,” she muttered, smoothing her hair back as she glared at him. “This is for him to tell me. If he wanted to.”

“He never would. And then where would it leave you? Would you still trust him?”

“What he did or did not do in the past is of no concern to me, Malory. He is a good fucking person, and that is why I fell for him.”

“But this is a big secret to keep, don’t you think?”

“It’s none of your business, just as it is none of mine. And if he did those things, he would not have chosen to do so. I know him, he’s a kind person. Choosing to kill someone for the fun of it, is something he would never do.”

“But what if he did?”

“He wouldn’t.” But Malory’s words hit home, and the seed of doubt sprouted. What if it was true? What if he did?

No. No. This was Lucas. He sulked when a bat didn’t like him. He was dramatic and sweet. 

If he did do what Malory was saying, he wouldn’t have done it alone. He had to have been pushed to do it.

“Ask him yourself then,” Malory said with a smile, knowing he was getting to her. “Let’s see how your little sweetheart reacts.”

“He would never lay a hand on me,” she growled. “Ever. He wouldn’t hurt me. I should have your tongue for saying it.”

He held his hands up in surrender. “Food for thought.”

“Leave him alone. It’s me you hate.”

“Hatred for you doesn’t mean I want to see him snap again. Those days were not pretty, and he was an animal.”

She snarled. “I’ll show you an animal if you don’t shut up.”

“Go home then. See what he does.”

“Fine. Maybe I will.” She hooked her basket under her arm again, stomping off. People chuckled as they watched her leave, her cheeks burning with the scrutiny and humiliation. 

The walk home was a blur, she only felt the burning warmth of rage and the seed of doubt and fear in her stomach. 

She didn’t know who to believe, it was hard seeing him in that light. 

But he had the scars of a gladiator. That’s what those were. 

She jogged up the stairs and into his house, tearing the handkerchief out of her hair and letting the locks fall around her shoulders as she slammed her basket down on the counter. 

He turned to look at her, a question on his lips. 

“Was it true.” A statement, not a question. Her chest heaved from her run. “Was what he said true?”

“What? Was what true?” Worry creased his brow as he put the rolling pin down. He wiped his hands on his apron as he moved closer to her. 

She breathed in sharply. “What Malory said.”

“Mal- what did he say to you? Did he hurt you?”

She swatted his hand away, staring into his eyes. He had kind eyes, open and clear.

“He didn’t hurt me. But is it true?”

“Is what true?”

“Were you a gladiator in Lucio’s arena? The replacement for Scourge?”

His face fell, and all the colour drained from his cheeks. The reaction was all she needed to know. He was a terrible liar. 

He laughed, the sound strangled. “What? Me? He must be lying. Do I look like a gladiator to you?” His smile was forced, fear sinking into his eyes. His voice strained, like if she pushed it he’d snap.

It hurt. 

Him lying like this. He knew she knew, and yet he still lied. 

“You’re lying,” she said, hands shaking. “You’re lying to me.” He froze, smile still forced yet wavering. She moved forward, trying to stop her shaking. “Tell me the truth.”

“I am-”

“Batsaikhan,” she growled, pausing a few steps away from him. Her heels clicked when they came to a stop. “Tell. Me. The. Truth.”

Horror flooded his face, hands shaking as he reached for her. She slapped his hand away, keeping his gaze even as he looked away from her. “I don’t want to hear an excuse. You’re a really shitty liar.”

“But I’m-”

She breathed in sharply, blinking back her hurt. It hurt, knowing he was lying. It hurt knowing that he knew she knew and he still wouldn’t tell her himself. She just wanted it from him. Not Malory or any of the others. 

They would twist him, change and lie. 

“I don’t want to hear it,” she snapped, rubbing her eyes. She wasn’t going to cry. “I don’t want to hear it from Malory or anyone else in this fucking city.” Her chest heaved as a tear slipped past. She didn’t want to cry but she was so...angry. It was almost all she could feel. “I want to hear it from you.”

He was trying to make himself smaller, holding the counter so tightly his knuckles turned white. “It’s true,” he whispered, hurt and palpable fear cracking his voice. “I did terrible things.”

“Lucas-”

He looked at her, the look in his eye making her back up a step. He flinched. “I’m a terrible person,” he murmured, looking at his hands. They curled into fists as he turned his head. 

Her expression softened into one of hurt and understanding. “You wouldn’t do it,” she said, taking one step, then two. “You wouldn’t make that choice yourself.”

“What if I did?” he asked, startling her into jumping back with the force of his words. Her heart raced, heat rising to her face with panic. “Maeve-”

She sniffed, covering her eyes. “I know you wouldn’t,” she whispered, trying to fight the doubt sprouting at the base of her stomach. “You wouldn’t. I...I don’t believe you would.”

“I’m a terrible person, Maeve.”

She flinched at the sound of her name in that tone of voice. So soft and hurt. So soft and broken. 

“No,” she murmured, looking back at him. “You’re not.” She breathed in, holding the breath as she moved closer to him. “You’re Lucas.” She paused. “No, Batsaikhan. And...you’re just...that. You’re not terrible. You’re sweet, you’re kind, you have a big heart.”

“I killed people.”

“So have I.”

He paused, staring at her with wounded eyes. Tears slipped down her cheeks, she knew her eyes would redden soon. “I know you didn’t want to,” she murmured, standing in front of him. “And I know you wouldn’t hurt me.”

Carving herself open. 

All for him.

“How do you know that?” he muttered, not meeting her eyes and shifting nervously. 

“I may not know a lot, but I know this.” She reached over to take his hand, gently opening it up to trace his palm. She kissed his fingertips, unraveling the bandages to trace the burns there. His breathing hitched audibly as she pressed her fingertips against his. Her eyes snapped up to meet his. “The Lucas of now is different from the Lucas of then. And knowing the Lucas of then isn’t going to scare me away from the Lucas of now.”

“But what if the Lucas of then was terrible?”

“He couldn’t have been that bad, he did become the Lucas of now after all.”

“...you’re only here because you didn’t know,” he muttered, staring at her with wounded eyes. “And now that you do know it’s only a matter of time before you leave again.”

She stopped, letting his hand drop. Anger slowly bubbled up in her stomach. “Is that what you think this is?” she asked, her tone sharp. “You think I’d leave over this? After all the time we spent together?”

“Thumbelina-”

“No you’re going to listen to me,” she snapped, jutting a finger in his face. “Fuck you, Karimov. I just want to hear it from you. I’m not going anywhere.” Angry tears cut through her skin, stealing the starlight from her cheeks. “But I want you to stop...running from the issue.” She sniffed, swiping at her eyes. “I want to hear it from you. I don’t want any ‘I’m a terrible person’. I will decide that.”

“But-”

“No. You will fucking tell me so I can make that choice myself.” She rocked back onto her heels, pulling at her hair. “I know what it’s like to want to keep something secret, I know why you kept it from me. I’m not mad. I’m just...hurt. Giant, I like being around you. But I don’t want you to lie to my face about something I want to know.”

She breathed in, trying to calm her panic. “I don’t…” want Lucas to lie like he did. “...you’re a terrible liar. I can see right through you.”

“But what if you do leave?” he whispered, hunching in on himself. 

“Then that’s something I’d do for myself.”

“...” he sighed. “It was...it was a bad time.”

“...and?”

“Just bad. Bad people.”

“Lucas,” she murmured, reaching out to take his hand. The skin on his palm was rough under hers, years of hard labor and burn scars melting into his hands. “Please, I want to hear it from you.”

His gaze darted away from hers again, she squeezed his hand. “I was just...angry, all the time,” he murmured, a flush building across his face. There was a hardness in his eyes. “And if I wasn’t angry I was...numb. Tired. I wanted to see the trees again.”

He was shaking in her hand, she rubbed her thumb along his knuckles, keeping quiet. 

“I…didn’t want to hurt them, they didn’t deserve to die. But I did so maybe I deserve…everything. I don’t deserve you either. I don’t…I’m terrible, Thumbelina, I’m a terrible person. And I don’t…I don’t know why you still…want to be around me. I’m just going to drag you down with me.”

She brought his hand up to her lips, kissing his knuckles. “See? I knew you didn’t want to. You aren’t that kind of person, darling. And you aren’t terrible.”

“But I hurt people. I did it and I was so numb and angry.”

“You were hurt. You didn’t want to.”

“I didn’t want to but I still did.”

“You had a reason.”

He paused. “Lucio…threatened my family. With…petty crimes.”

“So you did it to protect them.”

“What little I had left.”

“That’s more of a show of your character, Giant. Hurting someone for…the fun of it, is different than being forced into it. You didn’t have a choice.”

“I did have a choice! And I chose to kill people. I could…I could hurt you.”

“You wouldn’t make that choice.”

He wouldn’t look her in the eye, he looked so skittish, like he was ready to run. 

“People wanted to test their will and strength against me,” he whispered, clenching and unclenching his fist. He chuckled without humour. “I really was a beast.”

The word struck a chord within her. She knew it, heard it, saw it, smelled it.

But she kept quiet. 

“People were scared of me. Still are. I…deserve it. I’m not, good.”

“You don’t deserve any of that! You are good.”

“Maeve,” he snapped, ripping his hand from hers. She flinched, hands going up by her lips. He watched her back away, horror painting his face in dark colours. His eyes darkened as he fell into the role. “I hurt people for my own gain.” His voice was a low snarl, he was so tall. 

So tall.

Her nerves thrummed; ‘danger’ they seemed to scream at her. Hands, gloves, dark tone. I do it out of love, you’re just being selfish. It was her fault her fault her fault her fault her fault-

“Look, I’m even scaring you too,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. She let out a tiny sob, his façade cracking at the sound. He backed off, and before he looked away she saw flashes of anger and horror on his face. “I’m not good. Whatever good you saw in me is...a lie. I hurt people and I’m trying but it’s all people see in me. How can I change if people only see that?”

“I don’t,” she whispered, trembling. “I don’t see that. I don’t see any of it. I only see you.”

“But what if I’m a monster?”

“I can’t...I won’t believe that.”

He looked at her tear streaked face, fear barely hidden under her skin. “You should. I’m a monster. It’s only a matter of time before I-”

Her fingertips sparked, stomach bubbling. “You won’t. You aren’t like him. You are you. You are broken and awful. You feel like you’re beyond help and unlovable.” He flinched at the bluntness of her tone. “But I’m not going to leave. I made my choice.”

“Why won’t you leave? It’s not like I can offer you anything. I’m not of any worth to you.”

She snarled. “You make me happy. How is that not enough?”

“I want to be useful. I want to be good.”

“You are.”

“It was a lie,” he snapped, staring at her with shaking shoulders. “It’s all they’ll see so it’s all I can be.”

“Where is this coming from?” She stared at him, his eyes peeling back the layers of hurt to show a…

Child.

He was scared.

“You’re just going to leave,” he whispered. “Like everyone else.”

“Lucas-”

“So just get it over with. You already know I’m a beast. You know I’m terrible. So why are you still here?” he snapped. “Just go.”

“I’m not going to,” she snarled, balling her hands into fists. Fire licked at her palms. 

“Why not?” he said, voice rising to a yell. 

She trembled, saying what she never wanted to. She was no good. She was volatile and ugly and snared. She was a rat in a trap. She was a spark waiting for the breath of air to turn into a wildfire. 

She wasn’t good. 

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!”

He stopped, eyes going wide. He trembled, the words deathly soft. Softness that cut through her like winter cold. She almost gasped at the pain. 

“Do you?”

Her lips pulled back in a sneer as she took a step, then two. He moved away, watching her cry out of anger. She scrubbed at her face, jutting a finger in his. “You. Are a fucking. ASSHOLE,” she yelled, making him jump. “‘Do you?!’” she mocked, rolling her eyes. “YES I FUCKING DO.”

“Maeve-”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” she snarled. “Oh I’m Lucas and I’m such a bad person. I act all tough in front of everyone but I’m scared.” His eyes were wide as saucers. She overstepped so many lines but she didn’t care. “I know you. You are a good fucking person. I can’t justify what you did but you did it out of desperation. People do things they regret when they are desperate.”

Her sob was choked and low, digging her palm into her eye as she gritted her teeth. “I’m fucked. Okay? I’ve been fucked for fucking years now. I haven’t...I was scared to open myself up to you. And now that I have you say ‘do you?’ what a fucking joke.”

She backed him up far enough that he ran into the sink, leaning back as she rose onto her tiptoes. “I trust you. I trust you with myself. I trust you with my heart, okay?! It’s yours and it’s always been yours. I’ve just been too stupid to see it. Fuck. Fuck you and fuck your ‘terrible person’ shtick. I’m fucking done with it.”

He went cross eyed at her finger. She flicked the tip of his nose. “I’m so fucking in love with you, Batsaikhan, that I’m not even scared. You make falling easy. You make it fun. You make it safe. I know you’ll be there for me when I reach the bottom. And if you don’t love me back that’s fine.”

She huffed, throwing her hair over one shoulder. “But I had love ruined for me. I’ve had it used against me, chaining me down and letting me drown. It’s been tainted and terrible. I wanted you gone because you scared me with how fast and how hard I was falling. It was scary and I wasn’t ready. But you…” she let out a low cry, shoulders shaking as she inhaled and exhaled in gasps. “You make it easy.”

“But I-”

“Yeah yeah. You’re ‘terrible’ so you’ve said. But if you’re a terrible person then I am unforgivable. If you don’t love me back that’s fine. It’s all fine.” She blinked, moving away from him. She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling sick. “It’s fine. I know you…you don’t feel the same,” she whispered, choking down a tiny sob. “And that’s okay. It’s okay.” Her voice cracked. It wasn’t okay. She was a fucking liar. She wanted him to love her back. She was selfish and awful. 

She didn’t deserve him. 

“But never doubt that I love you. I know you’re...scared and you’re hurting. I can’t...possibly imagine what you went through, I can’t. But you’re...good. You’re lovely and kind. You make life seem...lighter and I love you. You’re so...bright and wonderful you make me feel like...I can be good too. That I can be good like you.”

Her hair fell into her face as she turned away from her, pain thrumming in her chest. She swayed, stumbling a little. “You don’t have to feel the same. I know...I’m not good. But you are. And you make me want to do...better. More. You make everything more...colourful. When I’m with you everything seems okay. Knowing your past won’t scare me away from your future.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, taking in a shuddering breath. “I-I’ll just go. I’m sorry,” she whispered, moving to the door. It was all so quiet, swallowing her up and making her dizzy. 

He was right. Nicolas, was right. It was always her fault. Always. Her palms slowly cooled down as she sniffed again, trying to stop crying.

“Wait.” His voice was soft, his touch even more so. She let out a tiny sob at his hand against hers, heart lifting against her will. He didn’t love her. Why would he? She wasn’t good like he was. He was beautiful and good. 

She was unforgivable. 

“I-I’m sorry,” he whispered, as she turned around. He trembled, and she knew she was staring in the face of a scared child. Broken, scared, longing. 

Fragile. 

“I-I am terrible,” he sniffed, letting her arm go and backing away a step. 

She reached forward, tipping onto her toes as she cupped his cheek. He let out a small hiccup as he watched her with wide eyes. Her hands were cold against his skin, the warmth settling in her stomach as she ran the pad of her thumb against the freckles on his cheek. 

He stared for a moment, shuddering as he leaned into her touch.

“No, you’re good,” she murmured, tears spilling from her eyes again. “That’s my choice. I think you’re good. No, I know you are.”

He shook, melting into her hand. He squeezed his eyes shut, breathing heavy and shuddery. 

She placed her other hand on his chest, kissing the tip of his nose. His heart was fluttering and fast under her touch.

He wrapped her up in a hug, almost lifting her up off the ground. He buried his face in her neck, she stiffened for a moment. 

Slowly, she wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning back onto her heels. He tilted forward, hands on either side of her head to balance them. 

“I lo-lov...I love you,” he whispered, her skin erupting with goosebumps. 

He slowly moved his head so she could look at him, hair falling into his eyes. She brushed it back, laughing through her tears. He was crying now as well, face red. 

“D-Don’t laugh,” he sniffed as she swiped at his cheeks. She kissed the tip of his nose as she squished his face, leaning against the door. 

“You really need to get your head out of your ass,” she murmured, kissing his cheek. 

He huffed, sniffing quietly. “P-Please don’t...don’t leave me. I-I’m sorry, d-d-don’t go.” He was crying more now, brows soft. “I don’t want you t-t-to leave.”

She sobbed, wrapping her arms around him again, heel smacking the door. 

He whimpered, wrapping his arms around her waist. “I’m not going anywhere,” she murmured, running her hands through his hair. “I’m not going anywhere.” Not again.

He blinked, his face splotchy now. His nose brushed hers as he kissed her with such reverence she almost whimpered. Her nails scratched his scalp lightly as he pressed her against the door, heels tapping the floor. He caged her in with hands on either side of her face, but kissed her so softly she couldn’t feel much else. 

“I love you,” he murmured softly, breath warm against her face. He kissed her again. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she whispered, cupping his face in her hands. He kissed her palm, staring at her with wounded eyes. Such soft affection, those big blue doe eyes of his. 

She wrapped her arms around him, slowly sliding down the door to the floor. Her dress made a soft ‘puff’ sound as she landed hard, dragging him with her. She rested his head in her lap, hair falling like a curtain between them. 

So soft it was. Soft affection, soft kisses, soft words.

The scars, the anger, the sun, the hurt, were marked along his skin. Her fingertips danced against all of them, taking him in. 

He was a good person who did bad things. 

And maybe...maybe, she was the same way. He made her feel like she was good. She wanted to be good like him. Then maybe she’d… 

He reached up to push some of her hair behind her ear. 

No, she didn’t need to earn his love. It wasn’t even about earning it. 

It was realizing she didn’t need to, because she had it anyway. 

“Why do you love me?” 

It was a lazy afternoon, warm and breezy. She closed up early, inviting Lucas over to stay the night. The sun was still high in the sky, the breeze cooling her room down. She was reading a book in a language he didn’t understand, one about star charting back home. It made her feel homesick. 

He was running his hands through her hair as she laid on his chest, reading and enjoying his company.

Until this, that is. 

“Why do I what?” She traced the scars on his arms, sighing. “Love, did I not give you plenty of reasons before?”

“I just…”

“Oh don’t go doing that again,” she huffed, discarding her book. She flipped over, tangling her legs in his, and pressing her chest to his. “I love you for many reasons. Your sulky puppy eyes are one of them.” She pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

“I don’t know why I’m feeling like this,” he murmured, kissing her again. 

“One of those days?”

He shrugged, half heartedly. “People stare, how do you...tolerate it?”

“Tolerate staring? I get it all the time.”

“When...you’re with me.”

She smiled. “I don’t tolerate it, I embrace it. I think I’m very lucky, managing to love you the way I do. And to be lucky to have you love me back? Sometimes I think I’m the one who should be asking you all of this, I’m nothing special.”

He kissed the top of her head, nuzzling her cheek. “I think you’re special.”

“I think the same of you.”

“...why?”

She kissed the tip of his nose, pushing herself up. “I’ll show you.” She got to her feet and tugged him off her bed and out of her room. He shuffled after her, watching her as she led him to her makeshift dining room. Humming, she threw open her blinds and dug around for the body paint she was experimenting with.

“What are you doing?” he asked softly as she set the jar down. She knelt beside it, motioning him to sit down on the floor with her. He followed suit, letting her crawl closer. 

“Shirt.”

“What?”

She tugged on his arm, making him move closer. Letting go of his hand she shifted between his legs to hold the hem of his shirt. 

She peered up at him through her lashes, brows set and her mouth pulled downwards in a stubborn look. “Shirt.”

“Maeve-”

“Love, trust me.”

His cheeks reddened and he nodded slowly. She kissed his cheek. “Relax.”

“I’m relaxed.”

“Your voice is cracking.” She helped him tug his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side as she kissed the tip of his nose. 

He wouldn’t meet her eye as she brushed his scars with a light touch. 

“Your hands are cold,” he murmured.

She kissed his neck, biting softly. She felt his breath hitch. 

“Do you trust me?”

There was a pause, a small sigh. “Y-Yes.”

She opened the jar of paint, staring at the familiar dark blue. 

“What are you…”

She dunked her hands inside, coating her palms in the paint. It ran down her arms as she stared at him, lips twisting. 

“First we’ll start on your shoulders. Move down your chest…” she swirled two fingers against his scars, pressing her palm against his neck, staring at the handprint she left. 

She kissed the side of his jaw once, cupping his face in her hands and smudging paint along his skin and down his neck. 

She dipped her fingers back into the paint, dragging them down his eyes and smudging the paint along his nose. She dragged her thumb down his lower lip and chin, leaving a strong line of blue. 

“I love you so much I’ll share the greatest honour I can, our warpaint,” she murmured, brushing her hands down his arms. “The sign of our strongest and it’s our most treasured tradition.” She held up her arm. “One we get permanently inked into our skin once we come of age.”

She dipped her hands into the paint again, swirling it around his collar and pecs. 

He stared at her, lips parted slightly and pupils blown wide. Swallowing all that blue.

She tilted his head up, smiling a little.

“Mo anam cara.”

He moved closer, the blue striking against his skin. His hair was soft against her forehead as he rested against her. She let her eyes flutter shut.

“And what does that mean?”

“Something you’ll just have to find out for yourself,” she murmured. 

He chuckled softly, kissing her. “Okay, Trouble.”

She giggled, opening her eyes. She kissed his eyelids, making them fly open. 

She took his hand, smearing paint along her lips and kissed his palm. “A kiss for good luck,” she murmured, kissing his fingertips and watching them turn blue with her touch. Her mom showed her this tradition, one only in their family. A reminder of what you have home when you left to fight. 

“All dressed up in blue,” she hummed. “Strong and beautiful.” She smiled, lacing their fingers. “Look at you, one of us. Well…almost.”

“Al…most?”

She got to her feet, running her fingers along his shoulder and neck. He stiffened as she paused behind him. 

She combed her hands through his hair, pulling it back and tying some of it up in a bun, letting the rest curl around his neck. Then slowly, she started to braid the pieces behind his ears.

“Why are you doing this?” he whispered.

“Scars and pasts don’t make us who we are,” she replied. His hair was hard to keep down in a braid, but she didn’t mind. It made it all uniquely him. “Bloodied hands and closed hearts are but a concept.”

She finished one side and moved on to the other.

“You have kind hands, you’ve only touched me with care and love.” She kissed the shell of his ear, nibbling softly. “Mhmmm. You’re kind, lovely and I love you.”

He let out a small squeak. 

“You make me happy, my love. That’s more than I could have asked for.”

“You deserve to be happy.”

“So do you.”

He went silent.

She brushed the scar around his neck, bending down to kiss it. “I love you, Giant. Mo ghaiscíoch.”

“You’re really good at this.”

“At what?”

He tilted his head back, resting it against her stomach. “Making everything…seem okay. Even if it’s for a moment.” 

“I can’t promise it’ll all go away, but I can promise I can help you. Besides, you look good in blue.”

He chuckled. “I wish I could make you feel the same. I’m kind of…”

“Say useless and I will pull your hair.”

His eyes snapped open. “What.”

She tugged on his hair lightly. 

“You’re not useless. You’re Lucas. Hmm,” she paused. That wasn’t right. “Batsaikhan.”

Ah she liked him blushing, it was cute. It brought light to his freckles and the paint down his eyes and lips. 

“I don’t need any usefulness from you, silly gander.”

He laughed. “Little goose.”

“Honk honk.”

“Is it my turn to offer up wisdom and paint on you?”

She giggled. “Sorry love, I’m already covered in war paint.”

He reached up to cup her face. “Ah, that’s right. How could I forget?”

She smiled, rubbing her nose against his. 

“It’s the least I could do, paint symbols of my people.”

“It’s part of you,” he whispered. 

“And now I’m passing it to you as well.”

“Why?”

She shifted closer, nipping at his lower lip. “Because I love you, and I wanted to. That’s enough.”

“I love you,” he murmured. “I don’t know if I’ll get used to you saying that.”

She let her voice roll into a low purr. “Well you better, because I’m not gonna stop.”

He held her hand, fingertips stained with blue. She sat in his lap, snuggling into him. He dipped his other hand into the paint, caressing her cheek and smearing blue along her skin. 

“Now we match,” he said with a small smile. She leaned into his touch, kissing his fingertips again. 

The dark colour stood out against his skin, making his eyes seem even more electric. She held his hand in hers, moving closer to him. His breathing hitched as she rested her palms on his chest, pressing a soft kiss against the corner of his mouth. 

“I think you’re beautiful in blue,” she murmured. 

He tilted her chin with his hand, leaving smudges of paint down her chin and throat. He hummed at the taste of the paint, trailing his hands down her sides to rest on her hips. 

“I’ll wear it more often then,” he said with a small smile, resting his forehead against hers as he squeezed her hips. 

She shifted, huffing a little. He laughed. “You’ll get paint on my clothes. I at least made you strip first.”

He kissed her again, tasting sweet. “I don’t think you mind.”

“If it stains I’ll mind,” she said, flicking the tip of his nose. She wrapped her arms around his neck, playing with the little curls at the nape of his neck. She kissed the tip of his nose, shifting off his lap. She smudged the paint off the center of his chest, slowly looping her strokes. It was messy, uneven, but it made her smile as she finished a serch bythol. 

He only watched her paint, massaging the skin of her hips as she pressed a kiss above the symbol, in the hollow of his collar. She smiled, pushing back on his shoulders to look at her handiwork. 

“There. Perfect,” she said with a hum, pressing her fingertips to the hollow of his throat. “Serch bythol. A messy one, but one all the same!”

“What’s a serch bythol?” he asked, taking her hand and kissing her palms. She chewed on her lower lip, ignoring the flush building under the paint. 

“A...knot we’d paint and make back home. Well, obviously we’d make them back home.” She laughed nervously, her heart a steady thrum in her chest. “It’s...made from two knots to symbolize unity.”

He kissed her forehead. “You’re blushing, what are you hiding?”

She groaned, burying her face in his neck. “It’s sappy.”

He snorted, burying his hands in her hair. She knew he was getting paint in it, making it all stick together…she didn’t mind. 

“Sappy? Now you have to tell me.”

She whined, making him laugh, untangling the ends of her hair. “I don’t make the rules, love.” She squeaked, digging her nails into his back. He smiled, she knew he was smiling based on how he hummed. “Love?”

“L-Lucas,” she whined. 

He hummed, kissing the top of her hair. “Okay, love.”

“Stop,” she groaned. 

“Ah so you can do it but I can’t?”

She huffed, wrapping her legs around his hips. “It’s unfair. You sound too sweet saying it.”

He chuckled, shifting to get a look at her face. She blushed at the knot on his chest, chewing her lower lip as anxiety ravaged her body. It was a dumb old tradition. He wouldn’t want it anyway or to know more about it. It was something dumb she did spur of the moment-

He kissed her sweetly, smiling. “You’re beautiful when you blush, but if you don’t want to tell me what it means, that’s okay.”

She sucked in a breath softly, resting her forehead against his, his bangs tickling her cheeks. “Promise you won’t laugh?”

He blinked, brows furrowing. “Laugh?”

“It’s...kind of dumb. I don’t...know why I did it! It’s so stupid.”

He narrowed his eyes. “It’s not dumb, it’s not stupid. I won’t laugh, love.” She pinkened at the nickname. She was starting to like hearing it from him, it sent sparks of heat down to her toes, making her feel like everything was okay. 

“It means unity between two people,” she murmured, kissing the corner of his mouth. “It’s a fancy way to say it was made for people to express their love, romantic or otherwise. Sometimes we’ll paint it on our shields when we go into battle, the unity of mind, body and soul with your loved ones and your fellows following in battle.”

She chewed on her lower lip, feeling sheepish. It sounded so sappy she was going to turn into her dad. 

He only smiled, eyes growing misty. 

“D-Don’t cry!” she sputtered, pushing back. “Please don’t cry, I'll take it off, I promise! I was dumb I’ll-”

He kissed her roughly, making her stutter off with a tiny squeak. 

“You better not,” he sniffed in between kisses. “I, for one, love it.” He nipped at her lower lip, making her squirm. There was a threat behind the nip. 

“I’ll…” he kissed the corner of her mouth, his breath hot against her face. She flushed, burying her hands in the hair at the nape of his neck. “Make the knot for you then,” she breathed, feeling dizzy with each kiss. 

“Can you show me how?” he whispered, leaving blue smudges as he ran his thumbs under her eyes. It wasn’t overwhelming, the smell and taste of him. In fact, the more she sat there, straddling his hips, covered in blue paint (which she hoped wouldn’t stain) the more she fell in love with him. Him and those electric eyes of his, large and loving. 

“I’d…” she swallowed, smiling. “I’d love to.” Her dad would be thrilled with him, she knew he’d go on and on about their knots if Lucas asked.

He kissed both of her cheeks, making her giggle with the rough touch. 

“I love you,” he murmured, nipping at her ear. 

She squeaked, biting her lower lip. Her face was hot, making him smile. “I...love you too,” she muttered, moving to hold his hands. “Now stop touching my dress, you're going to stain it.”

He pouted, brows softening. “But-” 

She silenced him with another kiss. “You’re going to ruin the paint,” she whispered, shifting away. She knew full well the paint was already ruined. 

He held her hand as she stood, kissing her knuckles. His smile was slightly wicked, his eyes shining as he pulled her back down. 

She yelped, limbs flailing as he held her close. 

“I want to touch you though,” he murmured, leaving small open mouthed kisses along her exposed collar. 

“But I don’t want your handprint stained on my ass,” she muttered, pushing his face away. “If Amani, no not only her, do you know how long we’d have to go before living it down? A lifetime.”

He nuzzled her hands, smirking. “Well maybe I want to leave a stain of my hand on your ass.”

“You cheeky bastard,” she huffed, squishing his cheeks again. “...cute cheeky bastard.”

“You love me,” he said with a lopsided smile. “A lot.”

She sniffed. “You can’t prove anything.”

“But I can, a serch bythol was it?”

“I regret telling you that.”

He moved one hand off her hip, dipping it in the long forgotten warpaint. Her nose wrinkled as he painted on her cheek. “There’s a symbol for love from me,” he said, nibbling on her lower lip. “Now we match.”

“....is it a heart?”

“...maybe.”

She snorted, batting his hands away. “No more touching. You’re banned.”

He whined, it sounded so doglike it was eerie. “But Maeve-”

She pressed a finger to his mouth. “No. Nope. No more. You’ll stain my fabric, and I’ll be sad if you ruin all of my hard work.”

He sulked, making her giggle. Her expression softened when she looked at him. Her swirls and dots were smudged by touches, fingerprints dragged across his skin, he was a mess and she was sure she was too.

But she had never felt more in love with someone than she was with him. 

She bunched up her skirt, shifting over his hips again to kiss him. 

“I love you,” she murmured, tracing the lines of his face with a light touch as she kissed between his brows. “I love you.”

A headache was starting to build behind her eyes. 

Were all dates with Lucas going to be this...eventful? 

...unlucky? 

Incredibly unlucky?

She stared at the bat on the table, who was currently locked in a hissing battle with her partner. Tehi had fluffed herself to look bigger than she was, wings spread on the table. The high pitched hiss was directed at the one and only Lucas. 

Who was shooting her a wounded plea for help. 

Oh this was going swimmingly. At least she didn’t get bit by an eel this time. 

...unless he could summon them to land, which she almost doubted. But knowing him and the magic of this town? It was likely. 

She sighed, massaging her temples. 

“You royally pissed her off,” she said after a moment, cracking an eye open to look at him. She giggled, watching him rest his head on the table. He banged his forehead, making her snort. 

“Why! I didn’t do anything,” he moaned, looking over at her. She patted his head, Tehi letting out another hiss. 

Currently, Tehi was in front of their dinner, biting his hand every time he reached for something. His hands had suffered quite a bit in the past ten minutes. 

He stared longingly at the apple rings and the butternut squash he brought. “She’s even guarding dinner,” he grumbled. 

The situation was...delicate. 

Tehi, bless her heart, was on thin fucking ice. Lucas, bless his heart, was treading on eggshells. 

And her? She had no heart to bless but she was ready to give up and go on without any more squash (sadly enough). 

Having a territorial protective bat had its downsides. She grew up with Tehi, finding her in a tree injured and eating the fruit for harvest. Broke her ankle trying to get her down, her father lecturing her for hours after. 

But Tehi knew her. And she could read how she felt about Lucas just by body language alone. 

And Tehi was not happy. 

Of course, the sentiment was sweet, Tehi was being protective because of things in the past (that she was currently trying to viciously ignore), but...now she was just making sure Lucas starved. 

And Lucas…

Was sulking. She saw no end in sight unless Tehi stopped hissing. 

Second date was going worse than the first. 

“Most animals like me,” he said, reaching for Tehi, jerking his hand back as she lept for him. “Why not her? Is it a scent thing?”

“It’s uh...me thing.”

He looked up at her as she scooted closer to him, resting her hand on his knee. “Tehi doesn’t...like people getting close to me...romantically. Friends are fine, but you are um…”

“No longer a friend?”

She patted his knee with a smile. “No, I still treasure our friendship, we’re just different now.”

“So she just doesn’t…”

“Like you. Being with me. Like this.”

“How does she know?”

She felt herself flush. “She um...just knows! She’s been around me most of my life so she can read me pretty well.”

“Oh...like Jolie and me!” His brows furrowed. “So she doesn’t like...me being with you?”

“It’s a very horrific crime, I’m afraid. Mo mhuirnín dílis,” she said, kissing his forehead. He settled into her touch, Tehi letting out an indignant squawk. “I don’t think she’ll ever forgive you for this.”

He made a face. “Well she’ll have to get over it.”

“Mmhmm, I’m afraid you’re stuck with me for a while longer.”

He opened his eyes, smiling a little. “I like being stuck with you.”

She flushed. “Don’t be sappy in front of my bat. She hates you enough already.” 

He puffed his cheeks out in a pout, the face strikingly similar…

...to one she made. 

“I don’t want her to hate me though,” he whined, looking over at Tehi. She clutched her strawberry close, letting out a very angry hiss at his gaze. He turned away. 

“I’m afraid you have no choice. You’ll grow on her eventually.”

“Eventually,” he repeated with a grumble. “Eventually, is not a now.”

“Be patient, mo grá. She’ll come around. You have a way of getting to people.”

“I do?”

“You did with me. It was very shocking how fast you managed to wedge yourself in my life.”

“Yeah. Then you tried to get rid of me.”

“Strong words! It was more like...give you a nudge elsewhere.”

He raised an eyebrow, making her giggle. “Fine. Maybe I was getting rid of you. But I had very good reasoning for it.”

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked softly, making her blink in surprise. 

“No...it was just...you scared me a little,” she murmured with a small smile. “You still do.”

“Why?”

“You’re...different. From what I’m used to. You’re just...so...open.”

“Is...that a bad thing?” 

Curse those eyes, big blue and pleading. It was like he didn’t even notice how he affected her when he looked at her like this. 

She brushed his hair back. “You built a window instead of a wall. You wear your heart on your sleeve.”

Tehi watched them, perched on a plate. Lucas reached over and she bit his finger. He let out a curse, shaking his hand as he pulled away, sticking his tongue out at Tehi. 

She bit back her laughter. “I can help with those.”

“It’s fine,” he muttered, popping the finger into his mouth. 

“Is it bleeding?”

“A little.”

“Lucas.”

“Mm fine. I’ve gotten worse.” Her eyes were drawn to the scar around his neck, and the ones disappearing into the collar of his shirt. They felt familiar, like something she’d seen before. She reached out, brushing one of the scars. The ones that looked like the marking of an animal. 

Or the symbols on her walls. 

He jolted under her touch, staring at her with wide eyes. She pulled away quickly, not thinking. 

“I’m so s-sorry! It’s just…” her brows furrowed. “Those markings feel familiar. I’ve seen them before...not just when my clinic was broken into.” She met his gaze. “What are they from?” 

His eyes darted away as she asked, wringing his hands. “Made some...bad choices,” he said gruffly. “It’s nothing.”

She blinked, shifting away. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

He reached over for her hand and hesitated. She bridged the gap and laced their fingers. “You’re fine,” he murmured, sitting up and leaning against her. “Just stuff I don’t want to talk about.”

She hummed, resting her head on his shoulder. “I understand. I won’t ask if you don’t wanna talk.”

He squeezed her hand. “Thank you.”

“It’s the least I could do,” she said with a smile. “Besides, we have bigger fish to fry.” She looked back at her bat. “...and that’s getting dinner.”

He winced. “Does she have to bite me?”

“Apparently.”

Tehi chirped, preening. 

He glowered. “She has sharp teeth.”

“I offered to help.”

He slouched against her, knocking her off balance. She let out a small squeak, wrapping her arms around his neck before she fell out of her chair.

He laughed, resting his head against her shoulder. 

“Lucas I’m gonna fall!”

“Mmhmm.”

“And take you with me.”

“That’s nice.”

“Get offa me!” She was giggling, bumping her head against his. “You’re too heavy!”

“Mm but if I can’t eat tonight then I guess I’ll just sleep.”

“I can move her, you know.”

“Yes but that’s not gonna stop her from biting me.”

“…or trying to eat your hair.”

He cracked an eye open, wincing. “That too.”

She giggled, kissing the top of his head. “Good news is, she tries to eat everyone’s hair.”

“Is that just...a Tehi thing?”

“Yeah. I think she thinks it’s going to taste any better the more she tries it. Though, watching her chase Malory around was pretty funny.”

“What did he do specifically? You mentioned lying, calling the guards and erm…”

“Murder? Trust me, I have thought about it.”

“I’m aware.”

She flicked the tip of his nose, making him wrinkle it back. “He accused me of stealing. Tehi, well, she’s a bat. No sense of money and trade, only get food to live. I paid for what she took, but he...wasn’t happy about her taking it in the first place. He has the best fruit in the market so her taking things...became a habit.”

He winced. “So he calls the guards on you?”

“Every time he sees me near his booth. Sucks the best fruit in the market has to be sold by an asshole.”

“I could always go grocery shopping for you. If you’d like me to.”

“You...would? For me?”

He nodded, resting his chin on her shoulder. “If he’s the one making you walk all the way to Center City to get fruit, then I’d be happy to go for you.”

She turned and hugged him, burying her face in his neck. “Oh thank the stars. I was close to trying to grow my own fruit. It would have been a disaster. I can barely take care of my medical herbs.”

He let out a small squeak, arms slowly wrapping around her. She made eye contact with Tehi, and if looks could kill. 

“You’re a disaster,” he murmured, making her giggle. “Amani grows plants if you ever want to ask her about them. I dunno if she grows any...fruit, but I know she has aloe. I get some of my spices from her.”

“She has plants? That’s amazing!” She brightened at the thought, letting him go. He smelled deliciously sweet, like nutmeg and cinnamon. “...you think she’d teach me how to keep a plant alive?”

He grimaced. “She could barely teach me. I killed a succulent and she quit.”

“I don’t have the time to take care of plants. Or I just don’t balance my time wisely.”

“I um...don’t manage my time well either.”

“...yeah, you workaholic.”

He blushed. “I-I’m not that bad.”

She quirked an eyebrow. “Mmhmm. Working yourself to the point of passing out is not that bad.”

“That was one time.”

“I had to carry you home!”

“You had help!”

“Same thing!”

He snorted, making her giggle. Tehi blinked at them, seeming unimpressed. 

And now they were being judged by a bat. 

He moved over to grab a strawberry, Tehi chirping at the sight.

“I think we found our way to get her to like you,” she said, leaning against him. 

“Food?”

“Always a good choice.”

He prodded her side, making her swat at his hands with a squawk. “Is that how I won you over?” he teased. 

She wrestled his hand away from her side, struggling against him trying to poke at her again. “What if it was?” she said, sticking her tongue out at him. “I might just marry your pumpkin squash if I could get to it.”

Tehi chirped as if she liked that idea better.

“Hey! Don’t take her side!” Lucas said, turning to the bat on a plate. “She’s mean, I’m the nice one.”

“Aww, are you mad that she likes me better?” she teased, kissing his cheek. “What? Can’t win the affection of one little bat?”

“She’s not little and you know it.”

She giggled, tapping the tip of his nose. “If it makes you feel any better, my family would love you.”

“They…would?”

“Mmhmm. Especially my father and grandma. Cooking fanatics. I grew up trying new dishes. But…sadly I got my cooking ability from my mom.”

He laughed, a blush warming his cheeks. “I could teach you if you’d like.”

“You’d quit.”

“I would not!”

“Oh please! Most of my dishes either explode or are inedible. You’d quit within two minutes.”

“If we don’t have another great Jolie flour incident I’m sure it’ll be okay.”

“…Lucas, I am the great Jolie flour incident.”

“You can’t be that bad.”

“Try me. I’ve burnt eggs that weren’t cracked.”

“…how did you even do that?”

“Long story.”

“Trouble,” he said, ruffling her hair.

She grinned. “You like it.”

Tehi chirped again, staring at the strawberry he had. He tentatively reached over to give it to her, Tehi snatching it from his fingers and holding it close in her claws. He jumped back, the chair toppling over at the force.

He fell backwards with the chair, making her crack up. 

“Did I not warn you she’s protective of her meals?” she asked, looking down at him. 

“Apparently.” He winced, rubbing the back of his head. “Not.”

She giggled. “Whoops.”

“Does she do that to people she hates?”

She grabbed a strawberry, handing it to Tehi, watching as the same thing happened. A wicked little smile played across her face as she mimicked what he had done, down to the facial expressions and knocking her chair back.

Her head hit the floor hard, but she was giggling.

He shot her an unimpressed look, fighting his smile. “Gee. Thanks. I feel way better now.”

She looked over at him with a smile, her hair spilling out across the floor. “That was the funniest reaction I’ve seen to her.”

“…thanks.”

She snorted, squishing his face. “Don’t pout.”

“You’re so mean though,” he said, voice muffled due to her squishing his cheeks. “I don’t think I’ll ever get over this slight to my pride.”

She kissed him lightly. “Mmm I’m sure you will.”

He shifted closer to her, wrinkling his nose. “Don’t patronize me.”

She giggled, running her hands through his hair and rubbing her nose against his. “I would never.”

He snorted, kissing her softly. “She really likes strawberries, huh?” he whispered after a moment. 

She bit her lip, smiling. “She’s gotten me to like them just as much. Back home we had strawberry plants growing everywhere! Blueberries and blackberries as well. My Mhamó would bake so many pies during the first pick of the harvest. Our fingers would be stained red,” she said with a giggle. “Once Aislin ate so much her mouth was stained for a week. Someone thought she ate a person! Devoured them right off the bone!”

He snorted. “Are they your favourites?”

“Well…” she pursed her lips, thinking. “Have you ever had the first strawberry of the year? Ripe and sweet? I could eat them for hours and not tire...so...I guess they are. Tehi loved them from the get-go and I always carry some around.”

“Is that why you always taste like strawberries?”

She blushed, blinking. The question was innocent, she bit her lip and giggled again. He brushed her hair back, thumb running against her skin. “I um...guess so! But I don’t hear you complaining,” she said, nuzzling his cheek. 

He shifted his face to capture her lips, burying his hands in her hair. “I think I like them better this way,” he said with a soft smile, nose brushing against hers as he kissed her again. 

“We should get back up,” she murmured, being cut off by him kissing her again. “Lucas.”

“But if we don’t get up Tehi won’t keep hissing at me.”

“But squash.” She pouted, thinking about it. “I’m serious about marrying it.”

“How about you marry me instead, then you’d get all the squash you’d want.”

She snorted, kissing the tip of his nose. “Want me to have an affair with your cooking? It’s very tempting, I must say.”

He laughed, resting his forehead against hers. “Well? What do you say?”

She giggled, tugging at his hair. “Let me think about it.”

“Don’t take too long.”

“Oh yes because I’m the one asking you. What? Many people flocking to your door? Struggle tying you down?” she joked, kissing his cheek. “I’ll have to have more before making my decision.”

“If you can get around Tehi, that is.”

“I can get around her. She loves me. You on the other hand...”

He sulked. “Don’t remind me.”

She giggled, rising to her feet and picking up her chair. “Need help?”

“View is nice from here.”

She raised an eyebrow, squatting down next to him. “I’ll sic Tehi on you.”

“...you wouldn’t.”

“It’ll get her away from the squash.”

Damn, the puppy dog eyes. “You wouldn’t.”

“Don’t give me that look.”

He kept at it, she groaned, burying her face in her hands. “Fine! I wouldn’t. But you should get up at least.”

He sighed. “If I keep feeding her will she like me?”

“It’s how you got me to marry you.”

He snorted, getting off the chair and putting it back up. “Well I guess it’s not all bad then, huh?”

“Make a fruit pie and she might love you forever.”

“...she can eat those?”

“She sure damn tries. My dad tried making one and she had eaten most of it by the time we finished dinner. He was so mad he tried to ban her from the house.”

He laughed as she sat down, reaching over Tehi (and giving her a pat) to pile more squash onto her plate. She let out a happy hum, biting into it. “Mmm alright maybe I will marry you,” she said, cracking an eye open to look at him.

He plucked a cinnamon apple ring, dramatically holding it out for her. He raised his voice an octave. “Maeve O’Connor, will you do me the honour of marrying me?”

She snorted, laughing. Her cheeks warmed, she knew it was fake. He was joking. But it was nice. He was looking at her with a soft affection, like he actually meant it.

But he couldn’t have. He didn’t even love her.

“And then have an affair with your cooking?” she joked, pushing down her feelings. He was just flirting. 

He slipped the dessert on her finger, kissing her knuckles with a wink. “If it gets you to say yes.”

She giggled, staring at the treat on her hand. She bit into it, smiling at the familiar taste. 

He gasped in offense. “Maeve, that's your engagement ring!”

“It’s delicious.”

“I worked hard to earn the money to get that! I spent weeks working up the courage to ask and you eat it?!”

“But it’s good!”

He kissed her once, then twice. “You are going to make me work every damn day of my life, eating my hard earned money like that.” 

She smiled, tilting her head up to kiss his chin. “Mmmhmm. But you asked me.”

He only shook his head, stealing food from her plate. 

“Hey!” she yelped, reaching for the fork. He held it just out of her reach, teasing her. 

“Aww can’t reach?” he said, kissing the tip of her nose. 

“Curse these short limbs,” she replied, crawling into his lap. He blinked as she wrestled his hand, tugging the fork back down to her. She bit the squash off the end, grinning smugly. 

He flicked the tip of her nose. “That was mine.”

“No you stole it from me. I’m not gonna marry a thief.”

“But Tehi won’t let me get any more!”

“I can get it for you!” 

“No! You’re just gonna eat it all!”

She pursed her lips. “That’s true.”

“And you think I’m a thief.”

“You stole it from my plate!”

“You don’t have any evidence.”

“I watched you! And don’t repeat my shitty logic back to me!”

He laughed, ruffling her hair. “Can I at least have a bite of your engagement ring?”

She gasped, clutching her hand close to her chest. “Never. It is my engagement ring. I can eat it if I wish!”

“But I gave it to you!”

She made a face at him. “But it’s mine now!”

He made a move for her hand, she pressed her hand against his cheek, holding her other hand above her head. “No!”

“But Maeve!”

“No!” She was giggling so hard her ribs hurt. 

There was a flutter, and the makeshift ring was snatched off her finger. 

Tehi chirped, perched on a nearby bookshelf with the apple ring. 

She and Lucas stared for a moment before cracking up. “Looks like neither of us got it,” he said.

“And it looks like someone objects to this marriage.”

He tilted her chin, smiling softly. “She’ll have to try harder than that to stop it.”

She blushed at the sincerity of his words as he kissed her. For a moment she thought he was serious about it. He’s really gotta stop that, messing with her heart and head like that. 

“So...a bat huh?” he started, looking back at Tehi. “Like animals?”

She smiled, trying to fight her blush away. “Yeah. Tehi was an unexpected twist during a hide and seek game, but I grew up loving animals. My older sister has two dogs now.”

“Oh?” “Yeah! They’re very sweet girls, energetic as well. I dunno how she deals with him all the time. She’s written to me many times about how much they get into the baby food back home. She and her fiancée have four kids, one is a wee baby. Cutest little thing.”

“Do you like dogs?”

“Depending on the dog, but yes.”

“Depending on the dog?”

“I’m uh…” she flushed. “Scaredofbigdogs.”

His brows furrowed as he mouthed her word jumble back. “Scared? Why? They’re babies! Big sweethearts!”

She scratched the back of her head. “Well um...I got attacked by wolves when I was a teen. Kinda puts a damper on the whole...big dog thing.”

“...well. That’s a good reason.”

“Oh wow thank you for your approval, oh mighty big dog master.”

“Hey, they get a bad rep. Big dogs are amazing. They just get labeled as dangerous because they’re big.”

“Oh, so like you?”

He let out a choked noise, blushing furiously. “Well I-I mean...y-yeah?”

She smiled, brushing his hair back. “Hmm...I guess you’re okay.”

“Thanks. My fiancée is so loving.”

“Only for you.”

He rolled his eyes with a smile, chasing her for a kiss. She giggled, cupping his face in her hands. 

“I’d like you even if you were a big dog,” she murmured, kissing the tip of his nose. 

His cheeks reddened as he chuckled. “I’d like you even if you were a small dog.”

“Hey!”

“Thumbelina, you couldn’t be big in any form.”

She sulked. “You don’t have to say it though.”

He smiled, kissing her fingertips. “It’s true.”

“Hmph.”

He squished her face, rubbing his nose against hers. “Don’t pout.”

“I’ll pout if I wanna,” she sniffed, making him smile. “I’m small but I pack a punch.”

He winced. “I’m aware. I think you broke my nose.”

She giggled, biting his fingertip. He yelped softly, pulling away. She grinned at his glare, him holding his hand close. “Don’t be a baby. It was a love tap.”

He muttered to himself, looking at his hand. She left a small indent. “I felt no love in that tap.”

“You didn’t look hard enough.”

He snorted, resting his hands on her thighs. “Yeah let me rethink about you kicking me in the nose lovingly. That’s for sure what I felt.”

“In my defense, you insulted my honour twice. If you won’t defend me, who will?”

He tapped his fingers, making her squirm. “I learned my lesson. Next time I’ll win.”

“Mmm next time huh?” She giggled, throwing her hair off her shoulder. “Want a rematch?”

“Absolutely. This time I know your secrets.”

“Someone’s a sore loser,” she teased, flicking the tip of his nose. “And you only know some of my secrets. I am a mysterious woman, you may not know all of my secrets! I’ll kick your ass every time.”

He kissed her softly, holding her hands and lacing their fingers. “We’ll see.”

“Oh I know it.” He rolled his eyes, making her smile. She looked at their clasped hands, hints of cinnamon sugar still dotting her ring finger. He raised her hand, kissing the sugar away. 

“Hey, that's hints of my long lost engagement ring!” 

He smiled, kissing her inner wrist. “You were right about it being delicious.”

She rolled her eyes, fighting back her smile as she slowly climbed to her feet. “I know.” She looked at the food on the table, long forgotten. “I’ll...put things away. Take some home?”

He kissed her palm, letting her hand go. “You can keep the squash. I think it’ll get eaten.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “I have enough food at home, and you need it more than I do.”

“I don’t need it.”

“When was the last time you ate?”

“...yesterday.”

He raised an eyebrow, she blushed. 

“...morning…”

“Exactly. And I get lectured.”

“Well, you had time to eat, I didn’t.”

He rolled his eyes. “Potato patato. Take it, and please eat. Who will kick my ass if you’re too tired?”

“Amani.”

“...touché.”

She giggled, picking up the plates. “If you want to keep trying to win Tehi’s affection, I’ll leave the fruit bowl out. I’ll pack some of the apple rings for you.”

“Okay.”

She hummed, wrapping the squash and apple rings up in a cloth, looking over her shoulder to see Lucas making kissy noises at Tehi, holding a strawberry out for her. She hissed when he moved close, stopping when she saw the gift. 

Maeve giggled, placing the plates in the sink. 

“...is this yours?” he asked after a moment. 

She looked up, moving closer to where he was pointing. It was a sketch, one of many she had scattered about. Her brows softened as she looked at it. “Yeah. It’s of my home.”

“It’s beautiful, I didn’t know you drew.”

“I usually paint, but sketching is nice. My aunt taught me how, since drawing is a good skill to have with magic.”

His eyebrows shot up to his hairline, watching her with soft eyes. “Magic?”

“Yes! Like sigils! Those can be used in different ways, drawing helps guide it. I have a sigil on my neck at the base of my skull…” she lifted her hair up, showing the three swirls. Mind-body-soul, as her sister said. It was her first, a stick and poke they did on a whim. “It helps amplify the magic I want to use, it can’t amplify raw magic, that comes from you but…” she blushed. “Sorry, I’m rambling.”

He blinked, smiling. “No no! It’s interesting, tattoos are a way to transfer magic?”

“They’re a way...to channel it. To draw from you and your surroundings. Tattoos are more permanent versions of sigils, but they are some of the most powerful.”

“I think I have one of those.”

She lit up, bouncing on her toes. “Really?” He nodded, cheeks reddening. “Where is it? Can I see? What does it do? What are the side effects?” 

The look he gave her was startled, she blushed, rocking back onto her heels. “I um...sorry. I just...love this type of magic.” She laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. “Most people don’t do tattoos with it, since they are permanent. I could...ask slowly?”

“O-Okay!”

“Where...is it?”

“On my back. Between my shoulder blades.”

She furrowed her brows, wrapping her arms around him, prodding at his spine between his shoulders. “Here?”

He nodded, staring at her wide eyed and blushing. “Y-Yep!” he squeaked out, making her giggle. 

“What does it do? Magic wise, I mean.”

His brows creased, overshadowing his eyes. “I...don’t know exactly. I think it makes me...stronger? When I want to be. It helps with...healing and I have a higher pain tolerance.”

“So a strength sigil? It would...feed on your strength you have and help aid you when you tap into it. The pain tolerance and healing could be a meaning behind some of the symbols, but I’d have to study those.”

He smiled, laughing. “If you wanted me to take my shirt off you could’ve asked.”

She blinked, going over the implications before blushing. “I um! I didn’t mean it that way! S-Sorry it just-”

He kissed the tip of her nose. “You're fine, I’m teasing.”

She grumbled, wrapping her arms around him as she stood on her tiptoes. “I wouldn’t mind it either.”

He blushed, making her bite her lip as she smiled. 

“I have been studying sigils for a while now. I just made another breakthrough with some! Currently looking into light sigils due to how easy they are…”

“May I see?”

Her lips parted in surprise, eyes widening. “Y-You’d want to see it?”

“Of course I do! It’s something you get excited about, even if I might not understand it...why wouldn’t I?”

“Not um...everyone likes to listen to me ramble.” She giggled, nervous. “It’s fine! I tend to be long winded.”

He kissed her softly. “I think it’s cute, I like seeing you talk about it. I’d be happy to listen.”

She kissed him back, harder. She knocked him off balance as she pushed herself off the ground. His hands hovered over her waist for a moment before he bundled her close. 

“I’ll show you,” she murmured, letting go of him. He set her down, letting her take his hand and guide him to her room. “My room is a mess because of it, I must warn you.”

He laughed. “I’ve seen a messy room before.”

“Yeah. Yours,” she teased, winking as she nudged her door open. Tehi followed them, chirping as she fluttered up to a small bookshelf cluttered with small trinkets. Tehi snuggled close to the dog Lucas had given her, so many weeks ago. He stared at the bat and the wooden dog, his smile growing giddy. 

“You still have it!”

She looked over, smiling. “Of course I do, why wouldn’t I?”

He wouldn’t meet her eyes with a bashful smile. “I didn’t think you’d keep it.”

She squeezed his hand. “It was a gift.”

He looked at her with a soft smile, letting her guide him to sit on the floor. She gathered the pages on the floor, lips twisting as she looked at the symbols. “Do you want to draw your own?” she asked, half bent over, looking over her shoulder.

“Draw my own?”

“I can show you, if you’d like.”

“Alright.”

She smiled, face warming. Her freckles on her arms started to glow brighter as she scooped up blank paper. He held out a hand for her, helping her sit, nestled in the crook of his side. 

“I’d like to see your tattoo eventually,” she said, laying out the papers. “If you’d let me.”

He kissed her cheek. “Sure, I’d be happy to have a magic expert analyze it.”

“I’m no expert. You’d be better off seeing the magician in Center City.”

“I’d rather have you.”

“I’m touched.” She reached over his lap for her pens, chewing on her lower lip as she looked at the blank sheets of paper. 

“What’s first, oh mighty powerful witch?”

She giggled, handing him a pen and scooting a paper over. “Drawing the sigil. Here’s the light one I’ve been using.” She showed him the page, a line curving down and another tucked in it. Three lines connected the swirling ones. “These symbolize balance. Balance with light, no light can exist without shadow and shadow cannot exist without light.”

He traced the three lines connected the swirled. “And these symbolize the bond between the balance?”

She grinned, clapping her hands. “Yes! Exactly!” She leaned into him, holding her pen. “Sigils are all about the idea and magic you’re trying to put out there. What you want to happen, putting that want into the drawing and the magic in the air, activating it with the same.”

He watched her draw the sigil, copying her movements. “And how do you activate it?”

“Some are powerful enough to use a look, or a connection. I usually use my hands. Your hands are powerful.” He finished drawing the sigil, letting her take his hand and hold his palm open. She traced the lines, like she had some time ago. “Remember your palm reading?”

“Yeah.”

“Lines hold meaning. Heart, sun, fate, head, life. Magic flows through your hands. Hands are the start and the finish of magic, the connection between you and the earth. Am I making sense?”

“Kind of.”

“Think of it...like a connection. Magic from your hands seeps into the thing you’re trying to activate, a sigil in this example. Your hands are...an anchor.”

“Oh…” he whispered, looking at his hands. Peering at them with critical eyes. “That makes sense.”

“And now that you’ve drawn the sigil with the intent for light, you anchor and channel that magic into your want for light.”

“How?”

“I can show you.” She got to her feet, blowing out the candles. Tehi chirped, bouncing on the shelf as she watched them. 

She reached out blindly, letting him take hold of her hand again and lead her back. Sitting back down, she placed her hands on her sigil. 

“Palm against the drawing,” she murmured, trying not to break the fragile air of intimacy hanging around them. “Think of light and the sigil will answer. Think…a fire. A candle. The sun on your face.”

“You?”

She stiffened, blushing. “I-I guess s-so,” she squeaked, making him chuckle. She watched him place his hand on the sloppily drawn sigil. 

She chewed on her lip, trying to hide her giddy smile. His eyes fluttered shut, leaning against her. She leaned back, breathing in and letting it out with the idea of light. 

Her sigil folded, and started to glow. She smiled, satisfied, before turning to look at him. His face was set in concentration, the room was quiet, their breathing soft. 

Slowly, the sigil folded, glowing brightly. She cheered, the sound startling him into opening his eyes. He paused when he saw the ball of light at his palms. 

“I did that?” he asked, eyes growing wide.

She grinned, tackling him in a hug and kissing him fiercely. He laughed against her mouth, cradling her head in his hands. “You did!” she said, glowing brightly. 

“What else can you do?” he asked, staring at the two lights. When he looked back at her his excitement was infectious, making her bounce. 

“Ice, earth and I once made a gust of spring air appear in the middle of winter! Plants didn’t work out well, but we can work on it! Imagine what we could do!”

“We?”

She blushed at her mistake. “I-If you want to. T-That is.”

“You’d let me help?”

She nodded, biting her lip. She wasn’t meeting his eyes, in her excitement she thought he’d...like to. 

But he wouldn’t. Why would he? 

He grinned, tilting her head back to look at him. Her thoughts evaporated. “I’d be honoured to help. If you’d have me. That is.”

“Hey I offered don’t get insecure on me now.”

He laughed, kissing her softly, sitting back up with her in his lap. She giggled against his mouth, burying her hands in his hair. 

“Okay,” he murmured. 

“Okay!”

They stared at one another for a moment before giggling again. 

“I did magic,” he murmured, staring at the light floating by her shoulder. “I made that, right?”

“Your magic. I didn’t do anything.”

His grin was quick to creep across his face, as he reached out to hold the light. She cupped hers in her hand, blowing it into his face softly. He sneezed as it exploded in a bunch of tiny lights, floating around his hair like a halo. 

Tehi chirped again, chasing a few of the lights. 

Smiling, she brushed his hair back and scattered the glitter that sat there. 

He blew his into her face, making her giggle as it exploded across her cheeks. “Oh look. More glowing lights to add to your already glowing face,” he teased, brushing her cheeks. 

She tilted her head to kiss the pad of his thumb, smiling. 

“So what’d ya say? Wanna explore magic with me?”

He tilted her face up, kissing her with such affection it made her heart skip a beat. 

There was a softness to his gaze when he pulled away, his brows set in content and his lips upturned in a gentle smile. A tender look settled into his eyes as he kissed the top of her head. 

The night stretched on and she felt woozy. 

Sometimes she wondered why she didn’t get help and why she was running this shitshow by herself. At least with extra hands she wouldn’t have to deal with her regulars alone.

The bell rang into the silence, she pressed a hand to her forehead. 

Oh great.

“T-Thumbelina?”

Her head snapped up at the voice.

It was Lucas. 

And he was carrying an injured woman. 

Maeve could just barely see the knife sticking out of her back, and the blood leaking down. The woman was slurring her words, squeezing her eyes shut. 

Maeve rubbed her temples, walking over to the two of them. Her heels clicked on the worn hardwood with her steps. She shut the clinic’s door behind them, closing the blinds around the windows. 

“Good Goddess above, do you get everyone into trouble?” she muttered, taking the injured side arm of the woman. They shifted her to one of the nearest tables. She was complaining the entire time, shaking her arm to get it out of Maeve’s grip.

“Well...no. This one was all her fault.”

“And I can fucking take care of it myself,” she said as Maeve and Lucas shifted her up onto the table. Well those words sounded vaguely familiar. 

“Her fault hm? Let me guess, picked a fight and didn’t realize they were sleazy?”

“...you got it.”

She chuckled, pulling her hair up. “Oh I’ve been there.” She yanked the ribbon closed around her hair, looking at the woman on her clinic table. 

“I need to take your shirt off so I can get a good look at your wounds,” she said, shifting over to look for her pain medicines and needles. A knife in the back could hit a multitude of organs. Stomach, kidney, pancreas, an intestine. 

Sometimes you learn things from experience as well as being taught. 

Lucas looked at the woman as Maeve sterilized her scalpel. “Hey Amani, she’s gonna help you.”

Amani bit at his hand. He shifted away from her, muttering something in a bitter tone. 

“I’m fine! I can fix myself up!” Her voice was a snarl.

Something about the notion of taking her shirt off was bothering her.

Maeve guessed it had to do with something on her back. 

Like a scar.

She set her tools down on the table with a light thump. She was tired and could feel a headache coming on. 

“If I show you the scars on my back, will you let me help you before you bleed out?” She rubbed her temples. 

“I can fix myself.” There was an edge and some very creative swears following it as Maeve tapped the knife. 

“A healing spell isn’t going to do much unless you have very flexible bones and can reach around your back to give yourself stitches. It’ll work wonders for some damage, but can you fix internal? What about stop the bleeding?”

The woman turned away. 

“Amani please. I can’t help you,” Lucas whispered. “I’m useless.”

“You’re aren’t useless,” Amani muttered. “A fucking dumbass for bringing me here instead of helping me home, but not useless.”

“Sorry to say most of my medicine and herbs are locked up as well,” Maeve said, looking at the knife. She would need to get the woman’s shirt off her back to see the wound. 

But maybe not take it of all the way...it was already torn up...and if she didn’t mind the loss Maeve would only need to tear it further instead of taking it off entirely. “You won’t be getting anything.”

She bent over to be eye to eye with Amani. “So you’re stuck with me helping you.”

“Sorry short stack, but the shirt stays on.”

“I will only need to tear it to see the wound.”

“On.”

Maeve huffed. “I will show you my back if you let me tear your shirt. But this is a timed offer as I do not want you to bleed out on me. Do you know how messy that would be? A pain to clean!”

Amani turned to look over at Lucas. He slapped a hand to his forehead. “So this is the Thumbelina you’ve been raving about? She’s a total bitch!”

She flicked her scalpel. “A bitch with a sharp object. Pick your battles wisely.” Her eyes darted down to the knife in Amani’s back. “If you can be wise at all.”

“Maeve!” Lucas wheezed. 

Amani snorted. “Fiery.”

Maeve stood upright, resting a hand on her hip as she sighed. “I’m used to dealing with people like you. Now, the shirt is going to come off one way or another. Question is; do you want me to knock you out or are you going to comply?”

Amani mouthed the word ‘bitch’ at Lucas. He shot her a glare. “Amani, I love you, but please.”

“Yeah yeah. And you still brought me to the bitchy mean doctor.”

“For a knife lodged in your back!”

“That I can take care of!”

“It’s in your back!”

Amani huffed, turning back to Maeve. “So, if you help me, you’ll leave me alone? The both of you?”

“If you don’t decide to bite me first, yes. You’ll have to stay a little bit when the pain meds kick in since depending on the wound, they can be pretty powerful.”

Amani sighed. “Ugh.”

“This is no fun for me either.”

“So...you’ll show me your scars first, right?”

“We are on a time limit.”

“Your back first.”

She threw her hands in the air, Lucas backing away from the hand holding the scalpel. “Fine! Fine!” She set the scalpel down. “We are on a tight schedule but fine!”

She turned to Lucas, the heels of her shoes the only sound for a moment. “Help me with my dress please,” she said, moving her hair off one shoulder to reveal the laces down her back. 

“You want me to what?”

She huffed, frustrated with the two of them. Her headache throbbed between her eyes. She wanted to rub her temples again. “Just...unlace me.”

“But-”

“Do you want her to bleed out?”

He shook his head, hands trembling a little as he untied the bow just under the collar of her dress. His touch was soft against her skin, moving quickly with the time crunch. 

Even so, she couldn’t deny the hitch in her breath as he brushed her skin. 

He grazed a jagged scar between her shoulder blades as he finished unlacing her. 

“So what are you…”

“Showing her my scars as I’ve promised. Then I’ll pull that knife out and hopefully she’ll still be alive in time for me to give her stitches. But of course, she insists on this.”

Maeve rubbed her eyes, walking back to the woman on the table. She watched Lucas with an almost...amused glint in her eye. 

Maeve shrugged the dress off her shoulders. 

“Whoa hold on-”

She shot a glare at Lucas. Apparently even he caught on to the scene before him. “Oh relax, it’ll be quick. And I’m wearing something under this.”

“But…”

“Lucas, we don’t have time to ‘preserve my modesty.’ You may look away if you wish, but this sort of thing is nothing new to me. If she wants to see my scars to be more comfortable with me seeing hers, fine.”

“But you’re-”

“You are abnormally stubborn for someone in your position. It isn’t hard to catch on. If you do not wish to see me undress ever so slightly, then you may look away. But please remember she is bleeding out on my clinic table with a knife in her back. I do not believe we have the kind of time to discuss this.”

“Lucas just admit you like what you see and move on!” Amani called. 

Maeve shot her a withering glare. “And you, you have no place to talk! Making me jump through hoops to take a knife out of your back.”

She held the bodice of her dress to her chest as she looked at Amani. “And here are my scars, are you happy?”

Amani stared at the mess of flesh on Maeve’s back. She knew it was a mess of old wounds. From axes. Arrows. Some burn scars. Bite marks. Knife and sword wounds. She was glad she was related to one of the best healers on her island. 

“Damn.”

“Are we good now? Can I just tear your shirt a little to get the knife out?” Maeve huffed, pushing her dress back over her shoulders. She didn’t have time to lace it so she’d have to make due with showing a little bit of skin. 

All she needed to do was just...heal, stitches, medicine, rest. Then she could get them out of her hair and pass out for a million moon cycles. 

“You can tear it a little…” Amani muttered. 

Maeve let out a tired sigh, picking up her scalpel and needles (with sutures already tied neatly, she anticipated someone coming in. But not this).

She tore Amani’s shirt, revealing a bit of marred skin. Gold paint was flaking off and onto the table. Amani twitched under her as she looked at the skin puckering around the knife. 

“Fucking hell doc, your hands are so cold.”

“Oh yeah I know. Would you rather Giant manhandle you?”

“Gods he’d crush me!” “Hey!”

Maeve chuckled, giving the knife a good tug. Amani spewed curses as Maeve muttered something to herself. It was lodged in there pretty good. She suspected it hit an organ as well. She’d have to be quick with healing and stopping the blood. 

“Well Miss. Amani, you might have another scar to add to your collection,” Maeve said, cleaning her hands on her apron. “And I do warn you, this might hurt a little.”

“Do your worst.”

“Oh I will.”

“Wait-”

She pulled on the knife. It came out with a spurt of blood. She was right about the organ thing, but thankfully it was only the small intestine. Any higher might’ve been stomach or even a lung. 

Healing spells didn’t work with organs surrounded by bone. 

Amani screamed, swearing in another language. 

Maeve tossed the knife to the side, pressing her apron (her poor apron) to the wound. “Calma síos, ba é sin an chuid éasca,” she muttered, her native language a comfort to her. She breathed through her nose, gearing up for the healing spell. 

There was a spark in her palms

And it faded. 

Cursing, she fought for it back, but each attempt fell flat. 

“Thumbelina?” Lucas asked. 

“I don’t have enough fucking energy for this fucking goddamn spell. Shit.”

“Hey! Watch your fucking language in front of a patient!” Amani said.

“I shall do no such thing you fucking nitwit!” Maeve huffed, sweat dripping from her brow. Her hands were stained red. 

“Can you...draw on energy from someone else?” Lucas asked. 

“I could in theory, but I don’t know what it would do to the other person.”

“Could you use me?”

She turned to look at him, her dress fell off of one shoulder. “Could I what?”

“Use me. My energy.”

“He does have a lot of that- OW!” Maeve pressed the wound a little roughly to shut Amani up.

“I don’t know what it would do.”

“I know you can help.”

“Ugh,” Amani moaned. “Stop flirting and help me.”

“We aren’t flirting,” Maeve said firmly. “Lucas come here.”

He shuffled forward. 

“Touch me.”

“Huh?”

“God- just...touch my back.”

He jolted, placing a hand on her bare skin. She sucked in a breath, his hand splayed along her scars. His hand was almost as big as her back was. 

“N-Now,” she breathed. “Visualize.”

“Like what I do to channel my magic?”

He had magic? She wasn’t surprised he had it but surprised he’d use it. 

Nonetheless it lent well. 

“Yes. But channel it into me.”

“Are you sure...it gets kind of...powerful.”

“Just...do it. Giant, she is bleeding out as we speak.”

“Yeah! Help me, then flirt- HEY! Stop that!” 

She pressed the wound again. “Save your breath, you will need it.”

Amani muttered something under said breath as Maeve counted down. 

She was hit with a surge. She gritted her teeth, her hands going numb with the amount of energy. 

Holy fuck. 

“I cannot believe this is just...your magic,” she muttered as Amani writhed under her. Lucas was jumpy, flinching every time Amani slurred out a curse. 

“I’m knitting the wound back together. It hurts like a son of a bitch, but I always stop before they black out. Not healthy to keep going otherwise.”

“Why does it hurt so much?” he asked, his breaths coming out in slight heaves. 

“All magic has its price and drawbacks.” 

She pulled back with a gasp. Lucas leaned against her. Amani stopped squirming. 

“That fucking hurt,” she gasped. 

“Well yeah. You got stabbed in the small intestine. And we still have stitches!” She massaged her temples. She smeared blood along her skin. Mm she’d have to bathe as well. Great.

“You okay there Thumbelina?”

“Mm fine. Just tired. Like you. I’ll be okay. Just gotta fix her up and get you guys some water.” Ugh she was woozy again. Her dress kept slipping down. She kept pushing it up. He watched her.

“You have tattoos on your back.”

“...I do indeed.”

“They’re lovely.”

She stiffened. “T-Thank you.” Amani rolled her eyes. His hand brushed one of her scars, making  her let out a tiny squeak.

“What’s this from?”

“A...brawl with my family.”

“A brawl?” 

“Mmhmm. Hate to brag, but I won. I’m a bit of a feral fighter. I’m sure I can beat you.”

She started Amani’s stitches. Her bodice slipped down her arms. She cursed, pushing it back up. 

“I’d like to see you try and beat me,” he said with a chuckle, holding her dress up and slowly lacing up the back. She went rigid at his touch. His hands were so much warmer than she expected. 

She calmed her erratic breathing, focusing on her needlework. Amani was blessedly silent. 

“I could and I would,” she said, tugging the wound closed.

“I’m like four times your size.”

“Yes but I’m fast. And I have military training. I don’t think you’ve ever seen me in action before.”

“Well no...but neither have you.”

“Ugh can you stop flirting!”

And then the silence was ended. 

“It isn’t flirting, only a conversation while I help stitch you up.”

“Yeah but his hands are all over you.” His hands froze. 

“He’s pulling up my dress.” She knotted the thread, snipping it with scissors she kept nearby. “A mer conversation about me whooping his ass is not flirting.”

“You whooping my ass?” he asked. 

“Now this is flirting.” She turned to look at him. “I would, but I must say, it is a nice ass.”

He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, and then closed it.

He looked like a fish. 

She giggled, turning back to Amani. She changed the conversation to ignore the heat in the tips of her ears. Even brazen flirting didn’t save her from the effects of the new found feelings she had for him. 

“So I have some pain meds, but they’ll knock you out pretty good if you aren’t careful. I can also fetch you a new shirt if you’d like. This one is kind of a mess.”

She helped Amani to sit up. She ran her hands down the front of her shirt. “No thanks. Rather attached to this one.”

“Of course.”

“Damn, what’s with the way she speaks?” Amani looked at Lucas. 

Like Maeve wasn’t right there.

This headache might turn into a migraine. 

“It’s so proper!”

“Well she normally speaks...differently I suppose.”

“I only get very proper when I have a headache, and the two of you are the root issue,” Maeve groused, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “It was already a long day and now an even longer night.” She always fell back into her aunt's lessons when she was sick.

That or she lost her filter.

She preferred to sound like a lady. She hurt feelings when she didn’t have what little filter on. 

“Ah so this is Maeve? She’s a treasure,” Amani snorted.

Maeve cracked an eye open. “Well a warning about you would’ve been nice as well.”

“He never mentioned me?” She looked at Lucas, jutting a finger at him. “You whore!” 

“Amani!”

Maeve threw her hands into the air. “I’m going to get water both for myself and the two of you knuckleheads.”

“Hey!” they yelled at the same time as she walked away. 

“What and you want to spend the night too?” she snapped, grabbing a few glasses and filling them with water from her bucket. She left bloody handprints but she couldn’t find it in her to care. “You need the water for the medicine anyways. I need it for my headache. And Lucas…”

“...we’ll just go with I’m thirsty.”

“Oh yeah you’re thirsty alright,” Amani huffed. “But not for the water.”

Lucas’ face flushed pink. “Amani!”

“Mmm I’m sure,” Maeve hummed, placing a glass in each of their hands. “And tell me, what on Earth would he be thirsty for?”

“...you know, sometimes I wonder if I can find someone as dense as Lucas and it appears that I have.”

Maeve chuckled. “Oh I’m fully aware of what your comment implies. I get enough of it from my little sister.”

...ah so that’s who Amani reminded her of. 

No wonder she wanted to strangle her. 

She just felt like her younger sister. Had the air of her. 

Gods help her if they ever meet. 

“But it’s more fun to watch him squirm.”

Amani’s eyes lit up. “Oh you. I’m starting to like you.”

“Mmm oh...wonderful,” she replied, moving over to look for the pain meds. “More people to bother me.”

“I thought you liked me!” Lucas protested, making her crack a smile. Her headache was slightly dulled by the water, but judging by how much her head throbbed not even sleep would help. 

“On occasion,” she hummed, standing on her tiptoes to try and reach her lactucarium bottle. This tasted vile, but it was effective. 

She swayed a little, being hit with a wave of dizziness. She stumbled backwards, hand coming down to rest on her forehead as she spat out curses. She most likely hadn’t been drinking water. 

...now that she thought about it she didn’t even eat either. The meal Lucas brought sat untouched in her backroom. 

He would kill her if he found that one out. 

Speaking of…

She looked up at Lucas, who had caught her. She stumbled a little, trying to worm her way out of his arms. Amani was chuckling (and then yelping at the pull on her stitches). 

“You okay there, Thumbelina?” The testing offense gone from his voice. 

“Just a dizzy spell.”

“You’ve had a lot of those.”

“This time it’s from a headache. I’ll be okay once you two go home and I can sleep.”

He didn’t crack a smile like she hoped he would. Hers fell. 

“Did you eat today?”

“Did you?” Amani called. 

“Amani this isn’t about me-”

“Don’t make me come over there.”

“...fine. I didn’t eat. Maeve?”

She chewed her lower lip as he helped her upright. He reached over her to grab the lactucarium bottle. He handed it to her as she let go of her lip. “Well, no. I haven’t had the time and it...slipped my mind.”

“...like I said, you’re tiny enough as it is.”

“Like you can talk.”

“Tell him!”

“Shut up!” they both yelled. 

All three of them stared at one another before laughing. The topic of eating all but forgotten. 

“Okay Amani, this stuff is fucking nasty as hell, but it helps. I don’t have it in pill form so we’ll make due.” She poured a little of the lactucarium onto a spoon, and held it up to Amani. 

“What you’re gonna feed it to- ACK!” She shoved the spoon in Amani’s mouth, watching her grumble and swallow the medicine. 

Amani gagged. “Oh fucking shit yuck.”

“Oh yes. And the aftertaste is worse.” She set the spoon down, untying her bloodied apron and using it to pick up her bloody tools and the knife. She watched the woman guzzle down the water she brought with a chuckle. “See?”

“Lucas you chose to be friends with a sadist,” Amani moaned, pretending to swoon. “She’s gonna kill me!”

“Keep up the dramatics and I just might.”

“I really hope this means you two are getting along.”

“Hmm I dunno. Check in tomorrow.”

Amani snorted. “So maybe she isn’t as big of a bitch as I thought.”

“That’s sweet of you.” She dumped the bloodied tools onto a tray to be cleaned later. She folded the stick apron over one arm. She had blood on her cheek. Wonderful. “But I wouldn’t say that assessment was wrong.”

“You two are the worst,” Lucas groaned. 

“Says the person who didn’t eat,” Amani replied. 

“Neither did Maeve!”

“Well I’m not close enough to her to lecture her!”

He glared at Maeve who was looking very smug. “She’s not wrong Lucas dear. You also have a harder job than I do in terms of physical labor.”

“...you had to hold down Amani.”

“Who was being a pain.”

“Hey! I am right here!”

He snorted. “Okay that is fair. Is there anything I need to do with her stitches?”

“I’d give you aloe to put over it but a certain someone.” A man named Sam. One of her...infamous regulars. “Used up the rest of my fucking aloe.”

He shifted at her tone. “...and you...?”

“Well other than chasing him out of my clinic with a bone saw due to being a pain in my ass, using up the rest of the aloe plant I had. Which was a lot. And then taking candy I save for kids? Nothing.”

“...you chased him out with a bone saw?”

“Why yes I did.” She fluffed her ponytail. “So with Amani, you should keep her in bed for a little bit while she heals. Thanks to the healing spell it shouldn’t be too long. Reopening the stitches means coming back to me though and we certainly don’t want that.”

“Uh Doc.”

“...yes?”

“I think Lucas is still hung up on the fact you chased someone out with a saw.”

“Well he’d better bring his head back down to Earth or you two will be next. Do you have aloe, or can you get any?”

“Oh yeah! I grow it.”

“Oh wonderful! Just put that on your stitches to help with your skin. Honey is a wonderful antibiotic, to keep your wound from being infected. I’d say no heavy drinking or going out for at least a few days. Four at most.”

“Four days?”

“I’m sure you’ll survive.”

“...barely.”

“Come back here in a few days and if I give you the okay, go wild.”

“No more nasty pain medicine?”

“Unless the pain gets bad, no.” She looked at Lucas, who looked like he was trying to do a difficult math problem. It made her laugh. “You should take her home to get some sleep.”

He snapped out of his stupor. “And what about you?”

“Well currently, closed.”

“You should eat something.”

“I will.”

“Good.”

“...god that was so fucking awkward. Can I go home to die in peace?”

“You aren’t dying.”

“I dunno that stuff your little fairy, as you’ve called her, might just do me in.”

She felt her cheeks warm. He talked about her? She knew Amani mentioned it before but not it was really sinking in. “Oh don’t be dramatic. It was only pain medicine.”

She helped him get Amani up off the table, the woman muttering about how she was fine and that she could walk fine. 

“Thank you, Maeve,” he whispered when they got to the door. 

“It was no trouble.”

“Sorry we came so late.”

“I’m used to it.”

“You should get some sleep for that headache.”

“I think I can handle it,” she said with a smile. “You take care of Amani now. Oh and Lucas!” He turned around. “Eat something. Please. It’s not healthy to do the amount of labor you do on an empty stomach.”

“I...okay.”

“...bootlicker,” Amani muttered. He shoved her. “Hey! I’m injured!”

“When you’re better you can’t use that and then you’ll get it,” he muttered, making Maeve smile. 

She waved them off, leaning against the clinic doorframe. 

Lucas turned around to look at her, shooting her a small and a two fingered salute. 

‘See you later, Thumbelina.’ he mouthed, making something...spark at her skin as she blushed. 

She chewed her lower lip as she scrubbed at the counter. She liked him. She liked him. She liked him too much. This wasn’t platonic anymore. This wasn’t what she wanted to happen. This wasn’t what she meant to happen. 

Fuck she was now even dreaming about him. 

Too lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t notice the force she was cleaning her counter with. She bent her nail, hand flying back with a curse. 

She was too lost in her own head.

Breathing out a small sigh, she buried her face in her palms. This...all this, had to stop. The dreams, the butterflies, the fact she likes him like this...it just had to stop. One of these days he was going to get hurt, and she didn’t want to delay the inevitable. 

She wasn’t...she wasn’t good. She wasn’t good for him as well. He deserved someone way better. He didn’t…

She didn’t deserve him. 

She fooled herself into thinking maybe something could go right for her. She was wrong. Of course she was wrong. She was going to hurt him. She knew that one of these days she was going to muck things up. She was always ruining things. Just like he always told her. 

Always her fault. 

She was just...a mess. 

And she didn’t know if she would ever not be a mess. 

Lucas didn’t want that. 

Lucas didn’t want her.

And she didn’t know how she fooled herself into thinking he did. 

She knew she had to do this after the dreams. Waking up alone. Seeing him, with his smiles and the...the flowers. 

Fucking hell he was giving her flowers.

She unburied her face, resting her left cheek on her left palm, staring at the flowers he had given her that week sitting in the vase at the edge of the counter. 

She had told him her favourite flower was a lily. Any kind of lily. So sitting in the vase was an array of oranges and yellows. Lilies with their petals such vibrant colours. 

She didn’t know why he kept bringing them to her. Did he really just want to brighten her clinic? Was there another reason for it?

Was she just overthinking it? She probably was.

She groaned, looking away from the gifts. 

How would she even break things off? Gently? Not...at all?

No she had to do it. Before he saw her. Before he noticed. 

Her heart raced as she pressed her palm to her eye. Before he noticed what? 

Hell, did she even know exactly where she stood feelings wise?

She liked him. But was it love?

No. It couldn’t be. Love was a cruel thing with sharp edges and sugary sweet words. A beautiful lie. Sugar coated with promises of something sweet, then delivering something vile. 

She wasn’t in love again. She was just…

She just didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how she felt or what to do. 

She only liked him. Liked him a lot more than she intended. 

He was so nice to her. Was that it? Was she so starved for a connection with someone (anyone) that she just...jumped at the chance?

That must be it (it wasn’t). 

She liked his company. Not him (she liked him). 

Nodding to herself, she placed her hands on the counter. Yeah. She liked his company. She liked his friendship. She liked the connection (she liked him, she liked him). 

She had to break things off before he realized that. She had to distance...herself. 

(why?)

He got too close to her. He got scarily close to her. Without realizing, he had broken what little walls she had set up. 

Soon he’d chip away to her core. 

And that scared her. 

She couldn’t...he wouldn’t…

She didn’t want to get hurt again. 

She saw what love did to her dad. It nearly destroyed him when her mom died. She watched it tear him to pieces. She let it tear her to pieces. 

Love was a weapon yielded against her. 

What says he wouldn’t do the same? (he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t).

She didn’t...she didn’t like letting people in. She didn’t like how close he had gotten to her in such...a short amount of time. She didn’t like how vulnerable she felt around him. Her chest carved open and if he cared to look, he’d see her heart on display. 

Any closer and he’d see how broken she was. Covering it up with a smile. Ignoring it by working. 

Abandoning connections. 

Because she was selfish. 

She went back to cleaning, chewing on her lower lip. How would she even do this? Look him dead in the eye and tell him she didn’t want him around anymore (when she really did)? 

How could she look herself in the eye and say she didn’t want him? 

She only wanted his company, right? Not him? That was the conclusion she came to. It had to be true! (it wasn’t)

She was running away again. 

The bell rang, sending her thoughts spiraling. 

She knew his footsteps. 

She knew it was him. 

And her heart raced. 

“Thumbelina!” He sounded so happy. Thrilled. Excited. 

She forced a smile, trying to ignore the lone butterfly and the dread sinking like a stone in her gut. 

“Hey Giant. What brings you in today? Get anyone else hurt?” Why was she flirting? Why was she doing this?

He had the brightest smile on his face. It sent her heart racing and caused dread to fall deeper into her skin. “Well other than my feelings, no,” he teased. “I brought you lunch.” She spotted a flower on top of the bundle. Another pink one, but she couldn’t see what it was.

“...thank you.”

“I also brought mine in case you wanted...to eat with me.” His smile grew slightly bashful, his expression brightened by hope. 

Fucking hell.

She grinded her teeth together. He was making this so much harder than it should have been.

She tangled her fingers together, chewing on the inside of her cheek. She didn’t have the heart to tell him no. “...sure.”

He was making this harder for her. She didn’t know whether to thank him or strangle him. 

But she was the idiot giving in to it. 

~~

He pulled up a chair to sit in, watching her clean and telling stories as she worked. She left the bundle he brought her untouched, her stomach churning too much to be able to enjoy it. 

She wouldn’t even...she didn’t even deserve it. 

“You haven’t eaten,” he noted. She looked back at him, her heart stuttering. She was the one looking down at him, ever so slightly. He fiddled with the bandages on his hands. “You should eat, Thumbelina.”

He shouldn’t call her that. She didn’t know the story but...she didn’t deserve to be called that. 

“I’m...not hungry,” she whispered, scrubbing a stain, facing away from the small bundle with the bright and hopeful flower. 

“You’ll waste away. Eat something.”

“I said I’m not hungry,” she snapped. 

He flinched away. She pressed her hands to her mouth. 

She didn’t...mean to snap. Why did she snap?

“Sorry,” he whispered. “I just...worry about you.”

She paused her scrubbing, voice small. “Why?”

Hurt flashed through his eyes. “Am I not allowed to worry about my friend’s wellbeing?”

Friend. 

There’s that word again. 

“I’m fine Lucas. I’ll be fine.” If she kept saying it maybe she’d believe it. 

“Maeve-”

“I’m fine.”

“What is with you today?”

She looked away from him. Maybe if she was mean enough he’d leave her alone. Maybe if he learned how awful she was he’d go. 

She didn’t deserve his kindness at all. 

“I’m tired is all,” she said, trying to keep her voice curt. 

“Tired? Have you been sleeping okay?”

“I’ve been sleeping…” and dreaming of him. Left restless and alone. “...fine.”

“Liar.”

She was a liar.

“I’m not lying.”

Yes she was.

“You are. Your tone goes higher when you lie.” Her head snapped up. How did he know that?! “Maeve…what is this about? We’ve been friends long enough for me to tell something is wrong. Are you...okay?”

There it was again. That word.

Friend.

He could read her. 

She didn’t know if that made it easier or harder to tell him. 

She chewed her lower lip, letting out a small sigh. “I’m sorry for snapping,” she said, raising her gaze to meet his. “Just been...having nightmares.”

A mix of understanding and some sort of satisfaction (of being right) swirled in his features. “Oh. Oh! I’m sorry for pushing it.” 

She forced a smile, anxiety worming through her gut. “No! No. I’m really sorry for snapping at you. Wasn’t right of me, you have the right to worry. I do normally eat and talk with you.”

“Something on your mind?” he asked, shifted up to rest his arms on the counter. 

Yeah. Him.

“Just...bad dreams is all.”

He didn’t push it any more, only focused on rolling the stem of the flower he brought through his index and thumb.  

“Say…” she started, leaning closer to look at the flower. It had splashes of red mixed with the pink. He kept spinning it so she couldn’t tell what type of flower it was. “Why do you bring me flowers every day?”

He looked up at her as she tilted her head, hair spilling over her shoulder. He looked at the handkerchief in her hair, eyes brightening a little bit. 

“Well…” he tucked the flower into her curls. “You've been on my mind a lot! I think the flowers I bring are really pretty, and they reminded me of you.” His voice had gotten soft. 

He had moved closer. 

Staring at her face with fluttering lashes. 

She sucked in a small breath. 

“Reminded you of me?” she asked softly as his hair brushed her forehead. Her heart was so loud. Like it was pleading with her.

He smelled like apples and something sweet. The undertone of an ocean breeze lingered on his lips.

Her gaze darted to his mouth, then back up to his eyes fluttering shut. He was going to kiss her. She wanted him to kiss her.

Biting her cheek, she hardened her resolve. 

No.

No. 

She couldn’t. No, she couldn’t possibly… 

She turned her face away from his, pushing away, as guilt whittled through her skin. 

Hurt and embarrassment flooded his eyes. A flush climbed his cheeks.

Now. 

She had to do it now.

Before he...before he saw. 

“You should...shouldn’t see me as often,” she whispered, gripping the cloth in her hand. She looked down at her hands, the counter reflecting her face back at her. She looked miserable. 

She was miserable. 

But this was best for the two of them. 

He didn’t want her. Not really. He didn’t want to spend time with her. No one did. She was just an idiot for thinking so. A fool who fooled herself into it. 

He was only doing it out of an obligation. 

He would fall out of it eventually. They all would. It was best for her to cut it all off before she got hurt again. She was better off alone anyways. That way no one would be able to hurt her.

“It’d...be better that way.”

He was silent for a moment, she kept her gaze locked on her shaking hands. The flower slowly slipped from her curls, the reminder of how close he was.

Reminder of him.

“Better?” he asked, tone low and hurt. His voice cracked over the word, her heart along with it. “Better for who?”

Better for her.

“You,” she whispered, her hands shaking. Liar. She was a liar. 

She was such a fucking liar. 

“Fine. If it’s better for me, then I’ll go.” His tone was angry. Furious. Hurt. 

...sad.

She bit her lower lip, trying not to cry. She tasted blood, she kept biting down. 

“Okay,” she replied after a moment. “You have work...anyways.”

She could feel the hurt anger radiating from his expression. She didn’t look up. “Yes. I do,” he replied.

“Then go.”

“Fine.” The word was little more than a snarl. A hurt snarl. She was a vile vile girl. 

She could hear him walk away. He paused at the door, the bell not ringing. “Enjoy your lunch. Make sure you eat it.”

The coldness of his tone cut deep. The tone normally teasing was empty. 

But what cut deeper was the fact he still cared about her, even as she was hurting him like this. Making him go. 

Maybe she liked him. 

But it was too late for that. 

“Okay,” she breathed, trying to hide the choked up hurt in her voice. The tightness of her chest. Her hands tingled with warmth. She curled her fingers into her palms, hands trembling so much it hurt. “I will.”

“...see you then.” Liar. 

Liar.

LIAR.

“Yeah, see you…”

liar.

The bell sang sweetly into the air as he left. She resisted the urge to tear it from her door, looking up as she blinked back tears. 

The green handkerchief fell into her eyes. 

The reminder stung. 

She ripped it from her head, tossing it to the floor as she let out a choked sob. “Fucking shit,” she cried, pressing her palm to her eye as she started to cry. She sniffed, turning to the flower and lunch he’d brought her. 

With a smile. 

She gagged at the thought, crying harder now as she unwrapped the fabric with shaky fingers. Fruit slices. Bread. Some pudding and stew. 

He was too nice. He was too nice to someone as awful as she was. He was too nice to her. She didn’t deserve any of his kindness. 

She was just...in the wings anyways. 

A side character in her own fucking story.

She looked over at the flower on the counter, picking it up to get a closer look at what he tucked into her hair.  

It was a lily. 

A pink lily. 

Her eyes flicked back over to the untouched lunch. By it, sat a book. 

Her brows furrowed as she wiped her tears away, leaning closer to the book. She picked it up, the cover worn under her fingers. It wasn’t a big book, not a long book. The cover was tattered and worn from ages of use. The title illegible from the amount of times it had been held and read.

She ran her fingers along the spine, opening the book with soft hands. She flipped through the pages, the sounds of thick paper almost a comfort. The only sound in the clinic besides her small sniffles. 

Then she saw the title.

She dropped it, as if she were burned. It fell with a thump.