#machineguncorvi

“Piper! Jesus Piper!” The brunette could hear Niko's voice, the pain in it an dhte way it cracked at the sight of her. He had found her, just mere moments after she had collapsed in the midst of her suicide attempt. She never expected him to come, to realize that there truly was something wrong with the young woman who could no longer see the light from the dark. Time and time again her life had fallen to pieces, this being the final straw she thought, the one time she couldn't find the strength to pick up the pieces of her messy life and put it all back together. The pain ran deep, the wounds and the cracks beginning to show before she chose her fate, expected to take her final breath in Niko's arms. Instead, he had made it just in time, gotten the call made for help while giving her the necessary CPR for survival.

Every compression given to her chest gave her a very small boost of life, the hope she hadn't felt in years beginning to return. A reason to fight for survival was suddenly given to her, the love she felt fo her best friend began to grow, feeling as if it was truly reciporcated from him just in the way he spoke to her, cried for her and pleaded for her to stay. His voice was still so soft, as if he was miles away and tryng to scream for her and yet she could feel him right there, at her side in the ambulance. Sirens echoed around the voices in the small confides of the rig, though she heard the two things that broke her heart the most: Niko's sobs and word she was in a coma. “But I'm right fucking here!” Piper screamed internally, trapped inside her mind as she had been fo weeks, with no one to hear her pleas, this time literally. He was hurting, he was sobbing and a broken mess, all because of her.

Knowing there would be consequences for her actions, Piper never truly expected to be here for them, never thought somehow she would survive to see the fall out of others, how this would damage and destroy others, mainly the ones she loved and considered to be a big part of her life. Niko would be the hardest one to face, knowing he would know the truth, know of her marriage, the child she lost and most of all, her love for him. And then of course there would be Lincoln, who also had zero idea of her marriage and second miscariage nor of her love for their best friend. All of those thoughts were quickly brought to a halt when her body was on the move again, the stretcher she laid upon being rushed through the halls of the already busy emergency room into Trauma 1, where she would remain for the next few hours, detoxing and being treated for the drug overdose. It was the beginning of her punishment, her inability to wake up and just apologize and beg for forgiveness eating away at her, like the million other things her mind had wandered to. Would Niko really love her, would he want her after  doing the unthinkable? Would anyone eve be able to look at her the same way and think she was truly the same old Piper? Would Lincoln hate her, like she expected him to even still after their fight?

All her thoughts halted at the sound of her heart rate beating on the monitor, stronger than she expected it to be after her near death experience. Vitals were being checked, eyelids pushed opened to check the reaction of her eyes to light just before she was intubated, the plastic tube being placed down her throat and into her tracehea to better her airflow. The constant busing and whispers were becoming louder, easier to hear as many talked of her condition, that she was one lucky but stupid woman. “Why would she do such a thing when there are so many out there, waiting for her to wake up?” “She's just lucky that man got to her in time. Any longer and she would be dead.” Internally she was crying, her own heart breaking now at the thought of truly dying before her time. “Why the fuck was I so stupid?! I should have called Niko, confided in him like always.”

And now was his chance to confide in her, his presence immediately felt as he entered the room. She could always sense him, always feel him around before he would ever make himself known, that's how deep her love ran for him. She could hear the rustling of the pages, the note had to be what was in his hand, something she wondered now if he had read or chose to ignore. His silence told her enough that he hadn't read it, that he was quite possibly reading it while she so desperately tried to speak, to wake from this, though her body was still out of her control. “Niko please... Just tell me you love me. Tell me  you actually feel something for me...”

“Piper, why didn’t you ever say so? Why didn’t you tell me?” His husky voice spoke, cracking with each word that passed through his lips and echoed through her ears. The sobs made her break, real tears beginning to seeps out from her closed eyes as he spoke again. “I have loved you since we were kids, if I could go back I would have told you then and there, I wouldn’t have let Lincoln have you, this is all my fault.” But it wasn't his fault, there was no way he was eve to be blamed for a thing. He didn't cause her to run away, to stupidly run off and marry Julian and murder him. Nor was he the one to blame for her overdose, all were choices made by her, her bad choices and poor judgement were only for her to blame. The sobs continued, the sound becoming more and more heartbreaking for the brunette as she cried as well, the stray tears that seeped from her closed eyes now at her chin for another set to roll out. Softly her breathing picked up, a slightly whimper followed by a choking sound heard as Piper fought to take her own breaths, the tube now an obstruction for her to do so. Eyes fluttered open to truly see Niko and the hospital room that surrounded her, as her hands reached for the tube and all pieces she was hooked to. This was the reaction to expect, she remembered hearing a nurse warn him of, the room flooded by them again to remove the plastic tubing and subdue her from doing any bodily harm again to herself.

Writing a letter to your best friend shouldn't be such a tough thing to do, unless of course, it is your goodbye to them. Of course this wasn't the first time Piper Corvi had sat down and wrote some sort of a goodbye letter. Her first one was back when she was eighteen, leaving the morning after murdering the evil man she called her father. Lincoln was the man there for her when everything went down, was the one that helped her pack up her things and in the end, spent the entire night with her, just before she abandoned him for the next six years. This time though, was way different than that night, since this was a more permanent goodbye. Lincoln was the first one to receive her goodbye many years ago, this time, it was time for someone else, the other best friend she had, that meant the world to her.

There was plenty needing to be said, a lot of things she never wanted left unsaid by her and not to be told by someone else. Piper was always a pretty secretive girl, though someone out there did know all of them, just took everyone speaking up of what they knew. Lincoln knew things Niko didn't and vice versa, which in the end, could get Piper in a huge mes if not even killed if the wrong person was listening in. Sitting at her dining room table, a small notebook of paper before her, Piper began scribbling across the top, beginning what she knew was going to be the long, very interesting final message for one of her best male friends.

Dear Niko,

I'm sure by the time you've read this you and Lincoln have been told of my death, not that any of it should ever surprise you. Both of you knew a long time ago what my twisted life would bring me: a fate such as this one. I'd always fall so far, see some of the worst things no one should ever see or deal with and yet I made it through. I always had you. I had you and Lincoln, the two constant things in my life that kept me going after losing my mother. I never knew what it was like to be loved, to be cared for after that, not with the kind of father I had, until your mother let me spend nights with you, took me in almost as her own. It was wonderful, having a brother and a best friend, all rolled into one, even as we grew older and went off to high school. Those times feel as if they were just yesterday, only they were years ago, but still fresh in my memory. I can still remember the few times we almost got caught stealing from that silly Walmart, just for the thrills of it. You stole some silly shirt and I some damn shoes, just to prove to our third partner in crime we could do it. If only that was the least of our troubles, Niko. It was just the tip of the iceberg.

I know only recently you found out from my stupid mouth about the secret life Lincoln and I kept from many, the lust, as a better word for it, we had for one another over the course of two years. He was the first and still, to this day, the one I've been with that never hurt me in that time frame. Well... That's a lie. Because he did break my heart, by never fully showing the world he could be with some bitch like me. I was just a good lay to him, never anything more, which I learned to accept in time. I guess you could say it's why it was so much easier for me to leave him the first time, after killing my father in front of him. I always said it was to protect him, to keep him out of my toxic lifestyle, but it was just to avoid anymore of the hurt, knowing the love was never reciprocated. And looking back now... It wasn't lreally love. Least back then it was of course the usual puppy love, but the love I felt for someone else, was so much more than that. It was a love I had never felt before, one that I never thought could be so strong. I cared too much about someone else, someone that I figure would never look at me in such a way, would never love some... toxic whore like me.

My life ended that day, Niko. It didn't matter how much you hid me from Lincoln to keep me safe or how often you would check up on me, move me around to get me a better life, I was already dead. I could no longer feel, could no longer understand what love was or even happiness. That crashed down on me a second time at twenty-two. I never fully told you why I was in prison for a few months, the drug bust was a total lie. I was married, Niko, to a very evil man, one that fooled me from day one. He won me over, pulled me out of the life you see me in now: the life of sex, drugs, dancing, the works. He stole my heart and swept me right off my feet. We were married by the time we had been together six months and after a year together I found out I was pregnant. Something to be happy about and celebrate, right? Wrong. I waited until I couldn't hide it any longer, when he noticed my belly sweling with his child. He was pissed, he strangled me, kicked me, threw me across the room. And when I went to run, he held me by the throat and said I'd only leave him in a bodybag, just before shoving me down the staircase. I miscarried instantly, but that didn't matter, not when he came after me, about to kill me. I killed him, with the gun bought for me years before, by you. I'd never fired it before that day and it was the one time I needed it and ended up in prison, wrongfully.

After that things only spiraled more, until you and Lincoln took me back in, tried making my life whole again. It was only a temporary fix, I knew it but I couldn't bear to tell you or him that, not when it made you both so happy to see my return. But this life, this is who I am, this is what I am meant to be: toxic, a junkie and a whore, who has no idea what love is and will never feel such a thing. It's part of the reason I came here to see Kale, to find work being the fucked up woman I am best, stripping and screwing around with some of the wealthiest men around. I destroy everything, even now, just before my own death. I'm destroying you, Lincoln, Lucinda, everyone in my life, just by dying. It doesn't matter anymore, you won't grieve for long, none of you will. I'm sure it'll be easy to forget and let go, when it was so easy to watch me walk away this last time, for the last toxic fire I set ablaze.

Just know this Niko, you are one of the best men in this world, one of the best men to come into my life and try to show me there is something better for myself. Only two men have ever done this for me and will be those respectable men until their time is done. But you and Lincoln are two different kinds of good, respectable men and that is a good thing for you both. It's you that I could always lay with at night, my head tucked up beneath your chin and my fingers running across your chest just bullshitting about anything and everything. I could never do that with anyone but you, one of my favorite things to even do. And in that time we both came to realize just how deep our connections ran, how much we were alike and why it was so hard to not protect the other from danger.

Those nights I will always hold with myself and cherish, like I  will my memory of you. I loved you Niko. Back then and now. But none of that matters now, not since I won't be around to ever say such a thing. But it was always you, the one that never left my heart. I've made far too many mistakes in my short life, but never telling you this, is the worst of them all. Be sure to also tell Lincoln I care about him and that I want him to be happy, to take care of Lucinda and those children of his. Even when things get rough, he'll always be one of the best fathers out there, like you.

Promise me, you'll always be the best man I know you can be. Know I'll always love you,

Piper

With one last breath she finally laid down her pen, folding up the two sheets of paper to lay in the middle of her coffee table just before scribbling “Niko” across the visible sheet. This was her goodbye, the way she wanted to go out, without letting anyone see just how far she'd fallen, how badly her inner demons had destroyed her. She remembered a time, just before his death, when her father spoke so coldly to her, said the world would be much better off without her and she should just get rid of herself. “I'm finally making you proud, father...” Piper whispered, tears streaming down her face, against the suicide note she'd perfectly placed to be found before her. The backs of her hands brushed across her cheeks, trying to stop the river of tears before she lost her nerve.

Just inside the bathroom was her sleeping pills, a slow but easy way to finish the job, not to mention the coke that she snorted just before the note. Already she was high as a kite, her entire body completely numb to the fact of what she desired to do. Slowly rising to her feet the young brunette stumbled her way through the small living room to her bedroom, right for the bathroom, where two more lines of coke were made and untouched, just screaming her name. Bending over the counter, where her handheld mirror laid, Piper held her finger over her left nostril, plugging it as she snorted one line with a rolled up dollar bill. She was quick to take on the second line of the white substance, finally losing her footing to stumble back to the floor. With the pills still in hand and the lid slowly being twisted off, she took a breath, popping three into her mouth.

“It won't be long now...” Piper whispered to herself, feeling her tears beginning to fall a second time, this time unable to stop. Her nerve was failing, unable to feel as if she could go through with her own suicide, as many memories began flooding back to herself a lot of the good before being clouded with the bad. It was as if she could say she was seeing her life flashing before her eyes, see everything playing from beginning to end just as she popped pill after pill into her mouth. As she crawled across the floor, heading back for the bedroom things began to get darker, the walls slowly closing in on the brunette. The end was coming quicker than she expected and before she could get the last few pills into her mouth to take the numbness took over. The bright orange plastic bottle slipped from her left hand, crashing to the floor along with the remaining couple of white pills, just as Piper's body crashed the rest of the way to the floor.

Piper! God Piper, why didn't you listen to me? The young brunette faintly heard the words coming from her best friend's lips, traveling to her ears. She knew he was close, could feel the warmth of his body beside hers and yet it felt as if he was calling for her from miles away, his voice barely a whisper. Desperately she tried to speak back, tried to tell him she was sorry and was ashamed for not believing him, but nothing came out when she opened her mouth. At least, she thought she was speaking, thought she was looking at him, telling him she was sorry. In truth, Piper was being cradled in Lincoln's arms, carried for the Grand National he had parked outside, her limp body weak, broken and barely hanging on. There didn't seem to be a lot of hope for her, just by looking at her, but it was the love for Lincoln, the love she felt from him by the way he carried her that kept her hanging in there. Inside the car she could hear the faint sounds of the radio, hear his soft voice, speaking through sobs and telling her to hang in there for him, to just be okay. She felt the car jerk to a halt, the sound of a car door slamming before once more his shouts were barely whispers to the weak teenager, before the darkness looming over her set in.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Piper heard faintly in her ears as she felt her eyes fluttering open slowly, fading in and out of consciousness as she could hear the whipsers of the many nurses in the room, tending to her broken body. One whispered to another, speaking of how lucky she was to be alive, another speaking of the boy to save her, how heroic he was in finding her and putting himself on the line to save her. “L—L—Linc...” Piper tried to whisper, her voice weak and hoarse as a nurse tried to place a finger to her lips, telling her to rest. Her head tilted off to the side, sleep taking her a second time but not before she whispered for Lincoln a second time.

Another hour passed, a few more tests being run and another rape kit being taken of Piper before she was finally awake and alert, thought finding it hard to see only out her left eye. She had asked numerous times to look in the mirror, to see what she looked like, the damage that had been done to her but not one nurse wanted to let her out of bed, nor let her even out of bed with the pending results of her tests. “I want to see Lincoln. Please.” She spoke, her voice still hoarse from the damage done from the times Brandon choked her, damaging her vocal chords slightly. Before she was going to be allowed to see her best friend and the one she deeply loved the doctor had to have a moment alone with her, needing to give her some unsettling news. Shock covered the brunette's face, even minutes after the doctor left, any questions she had going unanswered by her silence, though it was quickly broken the moment she saw the blond locks of her best friend, who rushed immediately to her side.

His head fell into her lap, his tears staining her hospital gown as she heard him confess the very thing she had to him almost two months before: he was in love with her. “L—Linc... Shh...” She spoke softly, the fingers on her left hand tangling in the shaggy mess of hair that was before her. “D—Don't cry... I'm gonna be okay. We are going to be okay.” She told him, licking her lips before trying to get him to sit up and look at her once again. “I love you. This... What he... That monster did to me, it's all going to heal. I promise.” She stated, finding herself suddenly in tears. Her right eye stung from the swelling, the tears irritating it as she felt his hand press to her swollen cheek, wanting to wipe away the tears.

Revenge. It isn't meant to ever bring anyone back from the dead or to restore things to a point in the past where things were once perfect. Though, that wasn't what Piper Corvi was looking for when she shot her father in the chest and then the head, it was more of a sense of absolution. The shots still rang out in her ears, her body frozen in place with the smoking gun still in her hand as her gaze remained fixed on the man she had grown up to call her father, the one who never care for her, never gave a damn about what happened to his child. She was alone, minus the blond haired male that stood behind her, his hand covering his mouth as he was still taking in the sight of what just played out as well. Slowly, her arm began to drop to her side, the gun slipping from her fingers to crash to the floor, as Piper did the same. “H—He's dead...” She whispered, Lincoln kneeling down at her side, arms around her as if he needed to console her

Slowly she turned her head, resting it on his shoulder coming slowly out of the shock she was in, only to throw her arms around Lincoln. Her face buried in his neck, tears running down her face and onto his shirt. “Please don't leave me. Don't let anyone take me away from you. Promise me...” Piper asked between her sobs, clutching tightly to his shirt as if it would keep her from going anywhere. Aside from her sobs, the two sat there in silence in their tight embrace for what seemed like an eternity before Piper was pulling back from him, just to press her forehead to his. “Can I pack a bag and stay with you?” She asked just as he gave her a nod and was helping her to her feet. Both made their way upstairs, the two of them packing all of the things Piper needed most into three bags. There was no way she could come back here, take any of the unnecessary items her father had collected over the years for their home, all of them being a constant reminder of the things he did to her and how he stole her mother away from her at such a young age.

Piper followed Lincoln down the stairs, one bag in her hand while he carried the other two, giving her a chance to look around for the last time at the home she grew up in, the place that had brought her so many good and bad memories. With a small smile and a few tears rolling down her cheeks Piper turned and slipped beneath Lincoln's arm, tucking into his side as they left, heading right over to his place. The short chunk of time between leaving her home and arriving in Lincoln's room was a blur, right up to the point where she went to shower in the empty house, the warm water running down her soft, fair skin, fingers running through her dark locks. Her mind was distracted, body relaxed as she felt Lincoln's strong arms wrap around her, his lips pressing soft kisses to her shoulder blade and up her neck. “Linc...” She whispered, her head tipping back to rest on his shoulder before he had her pinned against the tile wall, taking her beneath the soothingly hot water.

The rest of the night was spent like this, the two not able to keep their hands off each other, yet alone any distance between the two of their bodies, until both were breathless. The dark blue sheets were tangled between their legs, Piper's body pressed firmly into his side, fingertips tracing across the sculpted lines of his torso, the brunette finding complete comfort in being right there with him. “We've never done this before. Not for hours at a time.” She said with a chuckle, looking up slowly to see Lincoln sleeping peacefully. In that moment she realized just how innocent he was in this whole situation: he'd only barely witness Piper shoot and kill her father, though the motive and revenge was there and a perfect ending for the man that lay dead in the middle of the living room of her childhood home. Her head tucked back down to his chest, her arm tightening around him as she found herself in tears once again. “I can't... do this to you...” She whispered softly to herself, slowly easing herself from the twisted mess of the sheets and his body to get out of the bed without disturbing him.

The whole time Piper spent getting dressed she watched Lincoln, who was smiling in his sleep, still laid on his back and all stretched out, as if she was still in bed and in his arms. “Goddamn it, I love you so damn much.” Sitting in his chair at the desk across the room she noticed a couple of his shirts on the floor, one of which happened to be her favorite that he wore: a reaper on the front, the other one of his motorcycle shirts. Both she picked up and held close to her chest before packing one away and slipping the other on to wear, just wanting to feel as if he was right there with her. With one last breath and another round of tears filling her eyes, Piper drew out a sheet of paper from her best friend's notebook, to write down her most painful goodbye, one she couldn't bear to physically say and face him to see the broken look in his eyes.

Lincoln,

I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up, in fact I left shortly after I knew you were fast asleep. I'm sorry for pulling you into this big mess with my father, leaving the weight of knowing what I did on your shoulders. You were the only witness to that and all the other hell he ever put me through and I wish I could take all of those memories away from you. But, that's not the reason why I had to do this, why I had to say goodbye this way. I couldn't look you in the eye and say any of these things, not without breaking down, not without having to see the way I was going to leave you broken and hurting. But Lincoln, I love you. I love you so much that I have to do this, I have to say goodbye. I can't drag you down with me, drag you into anymore of the crazy shit I've brought into your life. You had to carry the burden of finding me after I was held captive by Brandon and then had to deal with helping me heal and go through that.

Hell things were shitty when we were children, like when I jumped you and basically broke your nose and knocked out some of your teeth when you hurt my feelings after my mom died. You had no idea and I just get on going, cause I lost all control. But you forgave me, like any ten year old would and never held it against me again. You've been the best friend anyone could ever ask for, the best man any girl could ever want and need, even if you don't see it that way. I do, Linc, I know how great you are, I know the potential you have and will always continue to shine with. I'm sure our daughter is going to grow up with her amazing parents, but still, be just like her father and hopefully have as big of a heart as he does. She would be so proud if she knew who you were, who we both were, but even looking back now, we did the right thing for her, what was best for her and us.

In this goodbye Linc, I want you to do a few things for me, and things you better do, for me. You are to move on, find that one woman in your life that is your other half, the better half of you. Settle down, have a family and let them know you and know just how special you are. Be the father I know you can and will be. I want you to be happy, in everything you do, and don't you dare take shit from anyone, don't do something if someone is forcing it upon you. And lastly, as much as I know you are going to do it anyways, don't come looking for me. I'm toxic, especially for you and you don't need someone like me, wrecking your life and everything you touch. I've done enough damage to you and your life. You need to stay far away from me, you need to forget about me and all of the memories of me. Because they're only going to hurt you, like I did.

I was dead before I met you, Lincoln Klaus Albrecht. I was born the day you loved me and my love for you will keep me alive forever. I'll always love you and don't think anyone will ever replace you in my heart.

Piper