Spoiler alert: Macbeth by Shakespeare

Okay y’alls gotta hear me out

In the original Macbeth, the witches prophesize that Macbeth is safe from any man born of woman. Macduff is revealed to have been born by C-section, therefore bypassing the prophecy, and Macbeth is defeated in battle.

However. There’s a better, queer way to fulfill the prophecy.

Macbeth: NO MAN BORN OF WOMAN CAN HARM ME

Macduff: ... *aside* wtf

Macbeth: I saw prophecies from witches. They showed me that no man born of woman can harm me. Your sword is useless against me.

Macduff: Then forget what foul deals you’ve made with the devil. My father is trans, ftm.

Macbeth: *eyes widening as realization hits, but tries to deny it and act chill* and your father is important in this conversation because...?

Macduff, glancing shyly at the ground: My father always wanted to have a child. And my mother is... sickly. So when they decided they wanted children, well, my father started the treatments. He birthed me by in vitro fertilization. As soon as he was able to after my birth, he returned to his usual HRT regimen. I was raised as the child of a straight couple, and no one ever suspected a thing.

Macbeth: ...so your childhood must have been rough?

Macduff: ...it was.

Macbeth: I’m so sorry. I have taken too much of thine blood...

Macduff: Then you shall spill blood no more.