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Under the cut you will find a masterlist of tumblr text posts that I've collected that can be used as gif chat starters. Please like/reblog if you found this helpful!
note: A lot of these didn't have the best grammar. I fixed most of them, but please be sure to double check before you use any of these.
Let's talk about the people who think definitely is spelled defiantly.
Why do I always look hot when no oneâs around?
I never run voluntarily so if you ever see me running you should start running too because something is coming.
Black licorice isn't a candy, it's a punishment.
When did we replace the word âsaidâ with âwas like?"
My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow
My Netflix wasn't working so I called the Netflix dude and after he fixed it he said letâs try it out and see if it worked so we watched an hour long movie together and I don't know I think it was a dateÂ
I need a hug or 6 shots of vodka
School makes me want to end my life. But then again so does watery ketchup.
To be honest the only reason I know how to read a clock is so I can figure out when we get out of class.
I hope all of this is a dream iâm having at the age of 7.
Ahh, the sweet smell of being replaced.
Do you ever start rubbing your eyes and then it feels really good and you canât stop so itâs like eye masturbation..?
Birds are lucky because they get to attend concerts for free.
Don't you dare treat your animals like shit in front of me. I will end your life son.
Do you ever get sad because you aren't rich and famous?
I think what pisses me off more than anything else is the little spot the windshield wipers miss when itâs raining.
How many "what"s until you give up on trying to hear what the person is saying?
Bread is so fucking good man I could probably eat an entire bakery in 25 minutes or less.
THIS FUCKING 8 YEAR OLD GIRL JUST BEAT ME 11 TIMES AT SLED RACING ON CLUB PENGUIN WHY CANT I EVEN BEAT A CHILD AT A GAME FOR 7 YEAR OLDS FUCK CLUB PENGUIN I HATE YOU.
Why do girls have fake pockets when guys can fit a laptop in theirs?
Who wants to give up on society and go live in a treehouse with me?
If I ever get a pitbull iâll name it Mr. worldwide
Itâs kind of weird knowing that when you sleep, youâre just looking at your eyelids, but somewhere in your brain, you are able to produce dreams as if youâre still awake.Â
Me trying to do math is like me trying to lose weight, it just doesn't work out
I have unlimited texting and I only text 3 people ever. I think my phone company looks at my bill and just laughs.
How do i get over someone who i never dated?
Someone somewhere is meeting the love of their life right now and thatâs pretty cool.
How do you get a nice body without moving?
You have lips âŚ.. I have lips âŚâŚ interesting
I just said hi to someone and they didn't hear me. Iâm never trying that again.
How do people rap? I cant even talk without messing it up.
Even the essays i write sound sarcasticÂ
If you shame girls about their breast size I will push you into traffic.
I want to be rebellious but i don't want to get in trouble.
Does anyone else get friend-jealous really easily?
I write sins not five page research papers.
People without passwords on their phones are the strongest and most terrifying people you will ever meet.
When Zanessa broke up I stopped believing in true love.
"Go suck a dick" is the dumbest line of negativity because I see nothing negative about sucking a dick.
The human body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every single fucking one of them.
How many calories do you burn by sliding down a wall crying?
Do dogs think in barks?
Is it weird I really wanna kiss someone in the rain?
Urban dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
I'm a fun person okay, but whenever someone cute talks to me I turn into a fucking raisin.
if you don't eat the pizza crust you are weak and natural selection is coming for you.
if you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off I will do the same thing to your head.
Once I take my bra off, donât ask me to do shit for you. Once that bra comes off, I am clocked out of life. I am done. I am finished. I am logged the fuck out.Â
I'm not saying I deserve to be rich and famous i'm just saying I feel like i was supposed to be
I hope I reincarnate into BeyoncĂŠ.
If you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my English class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote âit was Friday the 13th, the night before Halloweenâ for her opening sentence
I'm such a fucking jealous asshole I pretend like I don't care but I care so much i'm gonna explode.
When i meet up with my friends i tell them i'm already on my way when i'm actually still choosing what clothes to wear.
When you think about it, youâre either a shift or caps lock person.
Acoustic versions of songs were created to make people cry.
Why do dads sneeze so loudly?
Having to explain a joke is like going to prom with your sister.
No one ever likes me as much as I like them.
Do you ever feel yourself being annoying or antisocial but you just can't stop.
Why do people make viruses, like, Â why do you have to be an asshole?
Isnât it weird that we pay money to see other human beings?
Thinking about space fucks me up.
I need to get fucked by something other than my life.
