#m.jean

tagging:// @furysburn @strikehare @madefate @obscura-mp3 @wcrstarter

its a dangerous game when he doesn"t know how to lose.

You were too aware of the exposed skin, and the jacket tied around his waist. You had made an effort not to stare at him but it was hard not to with how his blonde hair got your attention. Or maybe it was the freckles you started to notice more and more as you got comfortable looking at him. You muttered soft to him a "It's so sweet." you offered him some of your drink: you really should have asked what was in that before offering him some. Josten seemed to laugh: it went over your head. You were confused. But your soft mutter of "Now what exactly was I supposed to be worried about, Jeremy?" you asked him, not at all surprised he passed your drink back after having a sip. you went to have another sip: despite the warmth seeming to grow. it was just warm in here right? jean goes to a rave and shit happens / @obscura-mp3

It's corny. You spent the afternoon late into the evening at a boardwalk. You didn't have as much experience with this, the beach is in the foreground and the sand is evident but neither of you made this trip for the water. It was one of those order boardwalks: not a modern amusement park. It was evident tourists came around here and lingered in the shops scattered among the boardwalk among other places. You had driven up here with him. Jeremy had offered and you had taken him up upon it. You were attached at the hip as it was to him anyway. He knew you too well, and there was an easy to being around him. You had suggested getting on on a whim of you didn't have enough experience in places that weren't the court. The pair of you had hovered around the boardwalk and fate would have you winning some of the boardwalk games that tended to be rigged. Yet for whatever reason you won. It was something stupid throwing rings onto bottles. You had seen him get flustered and scowl at not winning and you had decided to attempt and to your surprise and joy you had won. You hadn't meant to but here the person was asking you to pick out something. You took a look backwards at Jeremy who wasn't focused on you but you could maybe feel the etches of a smile come onto your features. you muttered to the vendor settling on a golden retriever stuffed animal. you knew how much he wanted a dog. you knew how much he wanted one and you both had a cat, but this would have to do for now at least. You took ahold of the plushie, your feet moving soft and you came to stand by him. a hold out of the plushie over speaking. you have a lack of words: but you know what it means to him. you don't have to say anything because the smile you receive makes your heart flutter. @obscura-mp3 / jean has a crush on knoxx and gave him a cute plushie.

Sunlight has changed you. You are no longer the pale boy hidden in the dark: kept away in the shadows only to be pulled out for use. You breathe. The sunlight had faded hours ago, the reds and pinks shifting into the dark. But the neon lights of amusement rides and shops had kept the shadows from creeping in. You had been on a boardwalk. You don't remember where the pair of you had stopped. It was before the season of exy started back up. You were in the two week grace period before training started back up again. You loved the field but the smell of the salt water being so close soothed you in a way that you didn't quite understand. If you remembered right it was Maine, york beach to be exact. It had been his idea which had surprised you considering his brain was almost riddled on exy. Yet here you were listening to children scream on rides from thrills: it almost felt childish and yet you had actually smiled tonight. Sugar stuck to your teeth: Kevin had bought you a candy apple that you hadn't declined. You liked the taste of apples. They weren't too sweet and the sugar coating didn't hurt your teeth as much as it should have. There was a sort of fondness you found here. You pull the apple away from your teeth, chew and swallow. "I was being serious, if you want to go any rides I will." You had been to places like this back in california but sharing it with Kevin was different. You knew it was harder for him to focus on things that weren't exy. "You might enjoy it too." You also hold out to where you had bitten the apple. You've been sharing it even if Kevin isn't the biggest sweetooth he's been snacking on it with you. "I actually am happy you know? I never thought I'd get the chance to walk around a beach boardwalk with you. " you missed him even if his conversations weren't the best. But he was sober and that was something in itself. "I did miss you, you know?" that pause of words as if wondering if you should have said that. "You think you'd ever think about coming to France with me one year?" it's a thought that leaves you before you can stop it.

You weren't out of place. A red tank top and black shorts. You couldn't take the raven out of you completely. Some colors were a comfort even if they were part of the past but the fact that your legs were exposed was a difference because you had started to finally begin to see your worth and not let the scars define you. You were riddled with them all over your body but you had to get used to them. You had to find comfort in the fact they existed. The weather had been swelting enough that you had found it better to wear the shorts as well. You turned to look at him. Your eyes had been looking at the countless games and you weren't the best at them. It had been luck last time that you had one. You figured it'd be the same. You had come across some type of a crane game that you didn't see much of a point to but you had seen how Jermery's had looked. You knew there was a whole counter of prizes you could go to. With how much the pair had you had one on tickets it'd be easy to swipe something corny for one of you but you had paused before going to the counter. You knew the price range for what you were aiming for was too high even with the amount of tickets you both had. Kevin might have said you were losing your touch. You were just finding joy in the simple matters of life. You figured it wouldn't hurt. You could hear Jeremy's raised question and you raised a hand when you inserted a few dollars to make an attempt. You were aiming for the white box that was sideways in a way that it looked impossible, it was intentional. You had a feeling it was place that way so no one could make a pass at getting it. To your surprise and the blonde beside you, the box was gripped by the crane and it dropped down the slot. You could see the surprise in him when the box dropped and the fact that it was a Nintendo ds, you had seen the girls play enough video games and heard Jeremy talk about them enough to know that it mattered to them, and the fact that these weren't exactly cheap. even if he had money, his parents wouldn't see the point of wasting it on something like that. You turned to him fingers outstretched in a offering. "I heard you talking to Cat about it." Your voice was soft and you were holding the box out, you were aware that little box came with a game nitendogs or something if you remembered correctly. "I just figured..." you voice is trailing and you can see the way he's looking at you. you might be one of the better boyfriends he's had even if you aren't aware of it. "I just wanted to give you something special and I..." you trail because you don't know what else to say. He's always gotten you flushed or wrapped around him like he knows the depth of your soul without saying anything. "I just figured it meant something to you, even though I know you just like being here with me and seeing me smile." the way that your fingers hold out the box, a few dollars for something that costed hundreds and it was just because you made the effort on a rigged game. You were an idiot, and hopelessly in love with him. "Je voulais te voir heureux.."

You hate being touched. You hate examinations down to the core. The nest didn't bother with anything that was deep in detail. They wanted you to play even if your injuries had been ones that should have kept you off the field. The ravens had no time for weakness, no time to be thrown down by one weak link. You hated being checked for injuries. You hated being off field for any point of time. You only obliged because you had to. Not because you ever wanted to be examined. You had to on the account of playing, and the longer you were away from the field the more that your skin rattled. You had known the state that you were in prior to healing: you had been better off dead. that was a thought that didn't linger, not when you had made a promise to stay alive. you exhaled. you didn't want to get into details of any of your trauma. your coaches knew enough of some of the levels and you could still remember far too much. you had been just a kid when it started and you wanted to force those thoughts back into the box in your head and never let them escape back out. you already knew the amount of scars that littered your torso. you tried to shut that out, they were reminders of everything you had been. what you were, you belong at evermore was still a thought that hung heavy in your brain. you look over at the doctor legs hanging over the table, you rather not have a full look over. you want to just leave and not look back. "I am fine." the words come out of your mouth because you are anxious to play. never mind the fact you had recovered from a broken nose, a set of broken ribs, and a leg injury. things needed to heal, but when you were taught to push past pain when did healing matter?

California was warm. It was warmer than Baltimore and didn't leave a bad taste in your mouth. You had been so used to black, reds and shadows for so long that you had forgotten how warmth could feel on your skin. You had started to come out of the shell that you had been forced into or rather the box that existed to keep you at bay. You had come out to the boardwalk with a group of your friends. There was no harm in wandering away from them. Not when you weren't used to seeing so much. You could see the children laughing and how the air felt light. You walked past stalls and colorful clothing, you looked at some of it. This was a different place, different than an exy field. The game wasn't of importance here and Jeremy often was trying to have you get away from the field and do things that were more than just that in your life. You weren't a fan of the water at beaches, but the boardwalk and seeing the different shops, sounds and even the music playing had given you something you didn't know you needed. Even now you find yourself staring at a jewelry stall, fingers touching over that of a raven necklace. You almost wonder how much it was. You have some money, not much but Jeremy had said buy what you like, after-all he was a good friend and this night had been his idea. He wouldn't mind. He never did.