Today is my 34th birthday, and I'm sat here working my way through piles of CC to decide what I want to keep. Fun times. But here's my problem: I don't know what I want to keep, because I don't know where I want to take my game! So here I am, typing up this rambly stream-of-consciousness lorepost kind of thing in the hopes that it'll help me clarify things.
I have said in the past that I'm a player first and foremost, but actually I'm a storyteller first. The worldbuilding aspects of TS2 are more important to me than simply "playing," otherwise I'd be able to play a premade exactly as it is and be satisfied with that. So yes, as a simmer, I'm telling stories with my game - but I haven't got a clue what stories I'm trying to play out here! And the way my mind tends to work is that I think in vague instincts and fuzzy images, rather than words or specific visuals. I am also, for lack of a better term, architecturally dyslexic, which means I always struggle to visualise floorplans - no wonder I dislike building so much!
Anyway, my mum has said that I might need to start by looking at where I am currently, using the same thinking that I apply to my solo roleplaying adventures. So here goes...
I have a very complicated relationship with the social aspect of TS2, particularly romance. As a very socially anxious autistic aroace, my brain just keeps going "sure, but why do you have all these wants to interact with other sims?" and I find it immensely baffling when ACR pushes romantic interactions. Granted, I've replaced text strings so that the terminology is less squickily romantic (flirt becoming compliment, kiss becoming share breath, woohoo becoming sensory union...) but I still struggle to see it as anything but that. I am contemplating having interactions of any sort on a community lot be a way of charging the aether beacon (the magical, warding light at the heart of a village) and I've taken a cue from those crystal flowers from TS3 EP11 that can be charged with emotions: performing 2d20 interactions of a specific type (friendly, mean, entertaining, affectionate) on community lots has given me four new ROS.
Another thing I've been confused about: how do I reconcile my desire to build cultures, with very different mores and standards to the world I live in, with my own dislike of strictures and inability to comprehend social norms? Well, the history of my sim world of Juvash begins with an agreement between gods, spirits and mortals, known as the First Pact - and it can be summed up as: "1. Strive to do more good than harm. 2. You do you." Any attempt to establish one philosophy as a "true way" or impose a hierarchy on everyone violates the First Pact, and that's when avenging angels and angry mobs both get involved. So, in Nuidya culture, it's expected that you show respect to your elders and to anyone who could theoretically carry your kid... but aside from that, how or if an individual sim honours the ancestors (for example) is none of anyone else's business. As a world, Juvash is chaotic good.
I say that, but I don't actually do traditional alignments - they're a bit too simplistic for my taste. So I've created a four-axis system to fill that role in my sims' lives, commonly known as Inner Starlight. There are four pairs of concepts that inform - and are informed by - how my sims live and behave: Offering & Receiving, Inward & Outward, Searching & Guiding, Instinctive & Disciplined. Each one is a seven-point scale, with a sim either being mildly, moderately or strongly attuned to one side, or having a balanced focus. This can and does change throughout a sim's life!
And now I feel a lot less frustrated, having reminded myself that I do have ideas, and I want to play so I can implement those ideas. So I'll stop rambling on here, go grab another mug of tea and a cupcake, and get back to sorting downloads. Lake Lulla: Level 34 Edition is going to be awesome. :)
