#luis!

NAHH THEY'RE TRYING TO ROPE US BACK IN WTFFFFF

So, Luis told me this story: "Oh oh oh I got the best Valentines Day story. So me and my boy Scott were working this job right, like super covert, all black leotards and these like night goggles my cousin Ernesto made from fuckin ray bans flashlights duct tape and shit, which sounds kinda magic school bus but was totally legit. Dude is like Bill Nye straight outta Compton, no joke. So we's in this basement complex with all these twists and turns and I start humming some Bowie 'cause we are in the labyrinth and we are soooo lost yo! It was space oddity and Scott did the ground control parts 'cause my boy knows how much I love astronaughts and I had killed it the night before at Dom's Karaoke House doin' Major Tom, I got the cosplay and like a floaty dance, it's a complete show ya know? I don't do things halfsies. Right right right yeah so we're singing real low 'cause we're still in stealth mode and I'm a professional so I know how to whisper a tune but then we turn a corner and BAM! All I see through my goggles is a flash of red and the next second Scott is down and I'm pressed against the wall by the arm of the most stupid fine sleek as hell all-in-black fuck you I'm a red head and I'm gonna be fuckin' proud of it woman that I have ever seen in my life yo! But my partner is down so before I asses the romantic implications of the situation I gotta check on my dawg right, but before I can get a word out she reads my mind with this like soul piercing gaze, Mona Lisa ain't got shit on this lady's enigma, and says, 'Your friend is fine. What are you doing here?' And duuuuuude she had like this Russian accent or something and you know how that stops the blood flowing to my brain and all but I was smooth, daddy don't get psyched so easy so I say 'I'm currently being held by the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my whole life' - always better to lead with the straight up truth in life threatening situations and that's some free advice 'cause no doubt this chick coulda snapped me in two. And it wasn't a 'doofy dumb ass' face Scott! I was fuckin charming and how would you know? You were unconscious so kindly shut it and let me finish this 'cause, and it's true Scott stop shaking your head! That fine ass super spy smiled at me, just a tug of her beautiful lips but man, I could tell, just one taste of this and she was hooked. It might've been my night shades though, 'cause she yanked them off my head and started asking like a million technical questions about 'em but like Ernesto is the inventor bro, not me, so I offer them to her and she's all 'Yeah? You think I'll let you go in exchange?' and I was all 'I don't want you to get in trouble with your boss or nothin', how about a kiss?' And you know what she said? Shut up Scott you were still out on the floor drooling and shit bro! She said 'Yes'. And what a kiss man! I can still taste her cherry lip balm mmmmmm yeah! Then she helped us find our way out and I was gonna give her Ernesto's contact info since she liked his tech so much, but she just said all cryptic and shit 'I'll find him. See you around boys.' And you know what? Now Ernesto works at Avengers fuckin Tower with Tony I'll turn you into a fuckin cyborg Stark, and that super fine kick-ass Russian spy lady? That was Black Widow man. And THAT is how I got a kiss from Black Widow on Valentines Day."

my hero

heyy luis um, yea meeting up and talking about it sounds good, i dont rlly know what happened? i mean im pretty sure my blog was just hacked, idk i was asleep

Maroon 5 - Memories